Fuck, fuck, fuck (hahah, Trk). I probably ruined all the progress I made today.
Today, we took the TTC home to her station, and we talked about all sorts of shit on the subway. She told me that last year, when she was allowed to freely use the internet, that she met a guy who had same interests and hobbies as her, so she invited him to her house. There, he tried to pressure her into having sex with him; and her brother got involved, and kicked the dude out. Because of this, her parents confiscated her internet privledges. No, the internet guy didn’t accomplish having sex with Rachel.
Prior to going to the TTC, she said we’d stop by Pizza Pizza, and let her use the washroom so she could change. I kind of joked by saying “Want me to join you?”, and she said she didn’t care if I did or not. I didn’t, but now I think it wouldn’t have made a difference. She came out with this awesome red shiny loose shirt; and she asked me to zip up the back for her (the shirt had a zipper at the back), so I did.
We talked about what we should do in the future; and we kind of talked about how much the school sucks and blah blah blah. I told her that her hands were pretty big, and she put her hand against my hand; to see the difference in size. So I clasped down and held her hand. She said she liked to hold my hand; so from Yonge station, to Jane station, we held hands. This is about 20 minutes on subway. She then rested her head on my shoulder. D:
She also said she cut her finger today, and she said it really hurt. She kind of jokingly asked me to kiss it better, so I did. God, I felt like a moron.
Now, what fucked all this up: what happened about 5 minutes ago. I walk in the door to my house, and no one is here 'cept me and my dog. Rachel phones, and asks me if I wanted to go hang out with her at Canada Square; and I had to decline. I told her sorry, and that I’d really like to, but I’m at a loss of bus tickets, and my parents’d be worried like fuck about me. Now I feel so horrible that I declined.