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181

Fuck, fuck, fuck (hahah, Trk). I probably ruined all the progress I made today.

Today, we took the TTC home to her station, and we talked about all sorts of shit on the subway. She told me that last year, when she was allowed to freely use the internet, that she met a guy who had same interests and hobbies as her, so she invited him to her house. There, he tried to pressure her into having sex with him; and her brother got involved, and kicked the dude out. Because of this, her parents confiscated her internet privledges. No, the internet guy didn’t accomplish having sex with Rachel.

Prior to going to the TTC, she said we’d stop by Pizza Pizza, and let her use the washroom so she could change. I kind of joked by saying “Want me to join you?”, and she said she didn’t care if I did or not. I didn’t, but now I think it wouldn’t have made a difference. She came out with this awesome red shiny loose shirt; and she asked me to zip up the back for her (the shirt had a zipper at the back), so I did.

We talked about what we should do in the future; and we kind of talked about how much the school sucks and blah blah blah. I told her that her hands were pretty big, and she put her hand against my hand; to see the difference in size. So I clasped down and held her hand. She said she liked to hold my hand; so from Yonge station, to Jane station, we held hands. This is about 20 minutes on subway. She then rested her head on my shoulder. D:

She also said she cut her finger today, and she said it really hurt. She kind of jokingly asked me to kiss it better, so I did. :stuck_out_tongue: God, I felt like a moron.

Now, what fucked all this up: what happened about 5 minutes ago. I walk in the door to my house, and no one is here 'cept me and my dog. Rachel phones, and asks me if I wanted to go hang out with her at Canada Square; and I had to decline. I told her sorry, and that I’d really like to, but I’m at a loss of bus tickets, and my parents’d be worried like fuck about me. Now I feel so horrible that I declined.

182

You seriously need to stop over-reacting :stuck_out_tongue:

I doubt that she won’t want to know you or anything like that just cause you can’t meet up with her once… besides if you explained everything and were genuinely sorry then it shouldn’t make any difference.

183

Shinryu, I’ll be wearing gray fleece pants, with an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt that is orange. Under that unbuttoned shirt will be a black CN tower shirt. I have a black mohawk, but my red hair has grown in a bit since I last dyed my hair. I have gray shoes. I will be with an average height female, with red hair, and most likely olive colored pants. We will most likely be holding hands.

184

Lay out all your clothes the night before, eh? :stuck_out_tongue:

185

His mommy dresses him.

186

Actually, I’m just putting out clothes that I want to wear prior to wearing them. My mom only helps me put my socks on and do up my zippers.

187

Like…your pant zipper? Ew.

188

I wouldn’t trust anyone with my pant zipper. I don’t care if you are my mother or my girlfriend or how much I love you, that’s some delicate merchandising that I’d rather handle myself.

189

I can see your girlfriend doing it, but your mom? Dude.

190

I wasn’t being serious.

Today, was fucking sweet.

First, you know that whole shebang about awards and haircuts and shizzle? The school has made an exception for me, and announced I will win the award; and I can keep the mohawk. This is fucking sweet.

Second, Rachel and I went on a picnic at lunch today. We bought some food, went to a park, and well, picnic’d. I bought all the food, it came to a total of about 15$. Not bad. Afterwards, we were walking back to the school, and she had told me something. She asked if anything she’d say would change our relationship status to me, and I said no. She had told me she was bisexual. I told her that it didn’t matter, and that it didn’t change anything. I told her she was perfect as she was, and she didn’t have to change anything for me. I told her that she was fine as she was. She said she was happy.

Thirdly, after the second event, she had asked me a serious question. She asked me if I ever thought of kissing her. I said yes. She said she had too, and that we should some time. After school, after meeting Shinryu, I reminded her about what she asked me, and I held out my arms, and we kissed. D: We continued to hold hands down Yonge Street then.

Fourthly, I met Shinryu today. I waited with Rachel at Canada Square since 3:10, the time we were supposedly suppose to meet, and he never showed up. I then called it quits, because Rachel had to be somewhere, and I started walking her back to the subway. Some shady looking guy started to follow us, and I kind of saw him in the corner of my eye; I was muttering almost mutely “Rachel, this guy is following us…”, but was cut off mid-sentence to “Hey, are you Robert?”. I said yes, and he kind of moved back a bit, and stood tall, and said in a lower voice “I… am Shinryu…”. We talked a bit, and I decided, due to the fact that I was killing precious time with a nobody when I could be with Rachel or something; so I said “Sorry dude, but I have to go”. Obviously, I didn’t have to be anywhere, but it’s good that I did branch off. If not, Rachel and I would not have kissed.

Fifthly, whoah, she fucking kissed me.

191

Aww that’s mean. He went out of your way to see you and you just called him a nobody? :frowning: Shinryu, if you ever come to Nova Scotia, we can meet up and play Tekken or something :frowning: or next time, meet up with Dalton or another T.O person. Dalton’s nice =D

But sigh. The old romantic is me is pleased for you, Setz. It’s so precious! But you need a livejournal or something.

192

Stranger < Love

193

Like sand through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives

194

Oh man. I’m so estatic. With that award money, I’m going to buy a digital camera, and record all the moments Rachel and I have together. :smiley:

We have to kiss more often.

195

Be sure to post as many pictures as possible in this thread

196

Taking naughty pictures whilst coupling is attractive as well.

197

Oh I will. I forgot to mention other information, so here I go:

After being asked about kissing her, I then asked her a serious question. I asked her if she liked me to the point of love. And she said she’d rather not answer. She asked me the same question, and I said I’d rather not answer. But, after school, I asked her again, and she said she won’t answer until I answer. I tell her that I do love her. She said she is scared to say her answer; and I said if it was yes. She nodded. She then continued to rest her head on my shoulder.

She asked me if this would be a long-lasting relationship; and I said I didn’t know. I told her I hoped it would. She said she can’t make any promises, and that she said we are both prone to break up at some point. I tell her, and this is honest, that I wouldn’t leave her for another person. She didn’t respond. I’m not saying we’ll marry or anything, but she will always be a part of my life.

Uhm; I’m thinking of buying her an expensive gift… ring, or necklace?

198

Easy, skipper.

199

Oh Setz. I fear the day when you will come back to us crying over the girl who had left you.

As for the love thing, if I ever held back and told my boyfriend “Id rather not answer” in an innocent tone, he’d either cry and break my legs or both. That is just not cool man :stuck_out_tongue: Sometimes, it helps to just keep things slow. And I know you both want to get closer, but personally, I think you’re both setting yourselves up for a HUGE fall. Teenage break ups are a pain in the ass, but not the end of the world. Which we may have to stress to you in the future. I know I sound very pessimistic, but we’ve all had that first or second serious love and had it all crashing down on us, when we then proceeded to listen to Simple Plan’s How Could This Happen To Me or something similar at the time.

edit: I know I sound hypocritical, but I’m a like, 30 year old trapped in an 18 year old body. it’s every woman’s dream. So there.

200

Ditto. But good luck to the both of you :slight_smile: