That’s different. Which is what I’ve been talking about.
And I will help her in any way I can.
Nothing wrong with comforting, as long as the person, such as Chris acknowledges her problems and deals with it in her own way…sometimes others need guidance to help them do that, and that’s certainly what we’re trying to do.But taking away the whole problem is another matter, this isn’t a perfect world, nor is it fair.Things aren’t that simple.
You don’t remove someone’s kidney when they have an appendicitis.
Umm, folks, I really don’t think we should be turning this thread into a philosophy argument. Save it for another thread. Instead, let’s see how we can help CC.
CC: I’m NOT going to judge your father, because I know nothing about him. Just because he might not appreciate how important his being there is for you, in spirit as well as body, does NOT mean he’s a bad parent. He might just not understand. Trust me, there’ll be far more serious moments in life -such as the loss of a loved one- where he’ll truly be tested.
Sadly, CC, as Sin says, we do NOT live in a fair world; we don’t choose were we are born, who we are related to, etc. There are things in life we can change, and some we don’t. You may or may not get your father to change his ways, but don’t bet on it as a sure thing. The only advice I can give you is: focus on those things that REALLY matter, and on those you CAN change. Think about the GOOD things in your life… from everything I’ve heard about you, you have many people who care for you, you have good feelings and many talents. Think about all the people in this world who don’t even have those things. Don’t dwell on little things like this.
Try to have as much fun as you can at the awarding, and don’t think about your father. BTW, congratulations on the award. Keep studying hard and focus on making a good life for yourself. If your father grows closer to you someday, good; if not, at least make sure it is not because you didn’t try… and focus on your own happiness.
Chris, you say you and your dad never hold any conversations. Maybe you should try to start one up. Tell him how you’re feeling, and that you wish he would be there for you more.
Or, you could get your mom involved… have a family discussion or something.
I have to say, even tho my dad’s been a jerk alot of times, he always tried to come to everything that was important to me. A parent has the responsibility to be supportive of you. If he’s not, and has consistently been this way… he’s not worth your time.
Actually, I believe this to be a pretty ideal place to talk philosophy. Or at least state it.
One of my favorite sayings when people ask me why I do some of the things I do is “Pain is just a reminder that you’re alive.” I came to this conclusion after I met a person who was just like a walking robot. This person was -not- truly alive. You can’t just ignore your feelings, but you can’t let others scald you too deeply. If you do, it’ll just eat you alive. Accept the pain, acknowledge it, but don’t let it take you over. Just remember, it’s showing you that you’re alive.
Something else I would like to say is towards Manus’s attitude of chocolate. If you just drown away your fears in junk food and sitting around, thinking about them, you’ll just bloat up, become fat, and probably be teased. This isn’t exactly a healthy thing to do. Harsh statement, yes, but it’s true, so live with it.
As for Steve’s statement about his dad never being there, for a long time, my dad wasn’t ever around as he worked offshore. He’s always drank alot. For until I was 11 it was like that. After that, he got fired, and was around all the time. That was even worse. I’d prefer him not be around at all than be like CC’s dad is.
CC, it sucks that he’s like that, but lots of parents are. No offence intended here, and i’ll sound heartless, but it’s a good idea to just deal with it and move on. Think more about the award and the other people who think highly of you. Otherwise, you’ll end up like I was for a long time. As for how I was for a long time, heh, i’m sure some people remember how that was.
My dad is like that, except he hasn’t even got an excuse for it since he doesn’t drink. I’ve just learned to ignore it when he goes into one of his moods. He also used to harm me, but he hasn’t tried that in years since I think he knows that I can fight back now and I will. I’ve come very close to striking the first blow once or twice, but luckily I stopped myself. I would hate having to hurt him intentionally without him having hurt me first.
See, he’s always been stubborn and think’s he’s always right, he’s completely closed-minded and very cynical too, basically the complete opposite of me, so we nearly always clash.
I’d suggest doing what I said earlier, and ignoring your father when he’s bad to you. Just remember, you’ll be out of there in a few years.
I can see that CC is… ‘in pain’
But let her go through it, it will benefit her later on in life. Don’t baby people or they won’t be able to make it on their own. I never ask for help, no matter how hard something is. I try my best (I’m talking IRL here…), and if I fuck up, I learn from that and apply it to something else.
That’s just me…
Manus… seriously, this whole chivalry thing is going way too far. Being nice and helpful to women is good, but there is something called ‘overdoing it’
I’m not saying you’re some complete idiot, and I’m not giving some ultimatum as to changing your behavior, hell no i’m not. I’m just saying that it’s very annoying. I try not to ignore everyone I dislike, because every once in awhile they post something worthwhile
Oh get over it. There are far, far more worse things that can happen.
Point in case, I just found out last night that one my last girlfriend had an abortion - and she didn’t know whose it was. MIND FUCK.
I think that warrants a “holy shit”
More of a…
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! O.o
I’m sorry to hear that, Chris, but what Astral said is probably a good idea. A discussion would be a great step towards a solution, hopefully.
Sorc: Holy… I’m very sorry to hear that, it must feel horrible.
Ye fugging gods Sorc… That’s just insane.
Chris-Chris, I wish you the best in finding the courage to confront the problems which you face at present and to endure any pain which might reside there. You shall be in my prayers. Just know that I believe in you. I know that the road ahead may not be very pleasant, but I believe that it will prove the most beneficial in the end, both for you and for your family.
You shall be in my prayers as well, Sorc.
Godspeed to you both.
Well, he actually came last night. I was very happy he changed his mind.
Thank you everyone, you guys helped me find the inner strenth that someone told me to find it. And I think I’ve found it. I’m in a much better mood and hopefully we’ll be able to talk more than we use to.
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM AND STRENTH.
What the Hell is wrong with you Manus? You think that diluting oneself in cotton candy dreams will make it so the world will be any less a dungheap? People are going to have bad times, and making them forget the problems will not solve them. If anything, she needed to recognize this was a problem, and see what she could actually do about said problem- not escaping. The more you escape, the less you realize what is real, which was (and is) my problem. You can’t advocate a person to forget about herself.
Chrischris: I’m glad that everything turned out allright! What award did you get?
I got the Lamer Lively award. Don’t ask about the title. I don’t even remember what it’s suppose to be… ^^;;. I think its some kind of a high honor or something…
Lay off Manus already, Rountree and all, he’s just trying to help, in his own way.
Chris: Congrats, though that’s the strangest name of a price I’ve ever heard! 
Thank you. yeah, the name is rather wride…