The Naar Saga

The Naar Saga part 1: Return of the Enemy
Galloway usually doesn’t dream beyond the usual stuff: cute girls, food, and watching Magus’s head roll for trying to feed him to Molor. However, a few nights after he left Weiila’s, the dreams began…

He was standing inside a cave, in front of a deep underground lake. Beside him was Weiila, Val, Starstorm, and Poke. He stepped into the water, and out came a brilliant flash of light. Suddenly, everyone else had vanished, and Galloway was in front of a giant shadow.

The shadow laughed, then tore him apart, limb by limb.

Weiila, on the other hand, was sleeping soundly. When she got up the next day (or was it the previous day- damn international date line), she returned to her notes to write her revenge on Galloway for sending her to hell.

Once again, someone had gone through the notes. Suddenly, a black-armored hand reached at her from behind. An all-too-familiar voice said, “You suffered this fate once. You will suffer it again.”

A laser blast rang out. This time, however, the figure stayed.

Galloway finally decided to see Weiila about the dream. Maybe she could make some sense out of it. After all, she WAS the smart one in the duo.

After flying over to Sweden, he found her house once again deserted. Like before, he kicked the door down.

“Ouch!” screamed a voice from beneath the door. Ultros pushed the piece of wood off of himself and shouted, “Nobody will bother master! Begone!” Galloway sent him flying through the roof with a single kick, then continued to Weiila’s room.

He found, once again, a small child crying on the bed. Thoughts about what had happened previously rushed into his mind. Was it starting again?

Was Mox back?

Almost as if in response to his question, a black-armored figure leaped from the roof. It grabbed Galloway by the collar, but since Galloway had his sword handy, it simply took a swipe to make him let go.

The figure jumped forward, but Galloway jumped to the side and smacked him down. A Gallo-beam then followed, catapulting the dark being tumbling backwards.

The figure sent a fireball, but Galloway reflected it back. Next, it pried some floor loose and tossed it, but Galloway smashed the piece apart.

Weiila had lost interest long ago. She fell asleep.

The fight continued for some time. Then Galloway, after beating the living shit out of the enemy, pinned them and said, “You’re not Mox. Mox was much stronger than you. Who the hell are you, anyway?”

The figure struggled loose. “Falchin!”

Galloway backed away. “Then why the hell did you shrink Weiila? And what’s with the armor?”

Falchin turned away. “I didn’t reduce her. And the armor is my father’s curse, handed down to me. The bloodline of Mox runs through my veins; I am powerless to stop it. The armor is a curse father put upon his entire family. And, if you’re interested, I came to save the girl!”

Everyone rushed back to Weiila’s room to find Ultros, severely bruised, trying to pick up sleeping Weiila. Galloway sliced off his tentacles and sent him into high orbit yet again, then began to plan for the next phase.

Galloway: At least Mox isn’t back…I hope…

The Naar Saga part 2: Devastating Loss

After a few minutes, Galloway called Neo and had him come over. Whoever had done this, Falchin had reasoned, must be close by; he said something about how the being was too slow to move very far.

Just after Neo showed up, a knock was heard from downstairs. Starstorm stood in the doorway, looking at what used to be Weiila’s house. Poke was behind him, mumbling something about having to shove Ultros off himself on the way over.

Now, with an entire army, they raised their chances of victory from 10000000000000 to 1 to 9000000000000 to 1. They walked outside.

After moving about five feet, a note appeared out of nowhere. It read:

“If you are foolish enough to face me, go to the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota. I will be waiting there.”

Grumbling, Galloway used the teleportation spell to head to the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota.

After landing in the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota, they met their enemy. He was tall, muscular, and dressed completely in black armor. A cape was hanging on his back. His face was completely lost in his black, horned helmet. A sword hung at his waist, and a shield was strapped to his back.

At first, you would mistake this guy for Mox. But there was something much different, much more terrifying…

Suddenly, a hand rose up, and a blast of energy flew forward. Galloway and Neo used the “dissapear then reappear” trick, Weiila simply ducked, and Falchin flew to the side. Unfortunately, Star and Poke were caught completely off-guard; they were smashed head-on.

When they got back up, they were seven-year-old kids.l

Cursing this calamity, Galloway and Neo fused into Ultra. The being simply stood there, as if what was happening was no trouble to him.

“Foolish warriors,” said the being, in a voice that would make your blood run cold. “Did you really think you could win against me? I am Naar, God of Evil! Nobody can destroy me!”

Ultra, however, had used the lengthy speech to charge up an enormous energy blast. It connected head-on, catapulting Naar five miles into the distance. Unfortunately, he just got up and came rushing back.

Ultra fired up a Kaioken hastily, then began to combo down on Naar. The god simply stood there, blocking the blows, then sent a single smashing blast into Ultra, plowing him through the ground. The two unfused the moment they stopped moving.

Neo crawled his way forward, then collapsed. Galloway, however, stood straight back up, despite his injuries, and charged up a Gallo-beam. However, without the added energy of Neo, the blast didn’t even dent Naar. This was getting desperate.

Finally, Galloway realized there was one way to win. It would be risky, and probably wouldn’t destroy Naar, but hopefully, it would weaken him enough to force him to flee. He began to charge up for another blast, but unlike before, he continued to charge past the reccommended maximum.

Naar looked onward in shock. Blood began to drip from Galloway’s lip. His knees began to quiver violently. Everyone could tell that the amount of power he was charging was too strong; it was killing him.

Finally, with an agonizing scream, Galloway released the energy. Everyone was knocked unconcious by the force being created by the attack. The last thing they saw was Naar being blasted backwards and Galloway slumping to the ground.

Weiila woke to find herself, along with everyone (except Galloway), in a simple tent. Above her, holding a damp cloth, was Val.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” said Val. “If you had been out for a few more hours, you would be pushing up the daisies right now.”

“Gallo…Gallo…Gal…” began Weiila, but she couldn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t need to.

Val shook her head. “He was barely alive when we found him. Whatever he did, he had lost nearly all of his energy. When you consider his nature, that would make it impossible for him to survive for long. He is still alive, but he won’t be able to strain himself for a while. Now go to sleep.”

Weiila then fell back to sleep. Val continued to wash her wounds, then left.

Weiila: And how much would a set of all three sagas cost?
Galloway: Next to nothing, but it’s really $3000.99.

The Naar Saga part 3: Why Not to Piss Off a God

Naar lifted himself out of the debris of what used to be a trailer park in the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota. After surveying the destruction Galloway had inadvertanly caused, a deep chuckle emerged from his dark helmet.

“This could be entertaining after all.”

Galloway woke to find himself strapped to a bed. Val and Zero X-Hunter were standing over him, talking about how that one guy looked just like Mox and stuff. They didn’t notice Galloway squirm his way out of the straps and crawl out of the tent.

Struggling to keep his balance, Galloway made his way to a small pile of old crates. Gasping for air, he sat himself down and thought about what had happened. He was supposed to be dead; the Final Attack Technique always destroyed the user, as his brother had said.

And yet he was still alive…

The Gungir smashed throught the pile directly behind Galloway. Val and X-Hunter stalked towards him, carrying a straight-jacket and a needle full of some sort of medication. Galloway tried to flee, but found himself too weakened to move.

Suddenly, an enormously large amount of dark energy filled the area. Val, sensing it at the same time Galloway did, grabbed the Gungir and readied it. X-Hunter didn’t sense anything, but he followed in suit. Galloway used every ounce of strength he could muster and drew his sword.

A huge bmass of black energy appeared. It formed into the ghastly form of Naar. He drew his sword in one hand and raised the other. Val threw the Gungir at him, but it was incinerated in the blast that flowed from Naar’s hand. It connected with her, sending her catapulting back several yards.

X-Hunter charged in blind confusion, but Naar simply knocked him aside with a flick of his wrist. He then stalked toward Galloway, his sword readied to run the hero through. In desperation, Galloway swung his sword at the foul god.

What followed next was amazing. The moment Galloway’s sword connected with Naar’s blade, a flash of light filled the area. When it dissipitated, both blades were lying in pieces on the ground. Naar withdrew in panic. Galloway simply charged up what little strength he could and stood up.

“What the hell’s going on here?” shouted a voice from somewhere. Wilfredo Martinez, Igatona, Faetan, and Mabatseeker emerged from various tents in response to the bright flashes, the noisy combat, and that damn orchestra that wouldn’t stop playing.

Galloway simply collapsed again. X-Hunter regained conciousness and dragged him back into the bed. He then set off to find what had happened to Val, leaving Wil and Iga in COMPLETE CONTROL!!!

X-Hunter was walking for quite a while when he saw that the path of destruction was beginning to clear. Finally, he found where it stopped.

At that very spot, a small child sat, crying.

Naar looked onward. He couldn’t risk facing them again; at least, not right now. He had no choice but to send his best agents in…

His castle was filled with the sound of heavy footsteps. Cybernetic soldiers, each one armed with some sort of weapon, entered the square. Naar handed them their orders, then sent them out to eliminate everyone in that pathetic team of theirs.

He then summoned four others. He gave them their orders; if the first plan failed, then they were to be the fail-safe. They had to strike while the group was weakened.

They had no time to waste.

Galloway was lying in the bed when Falchin came over. He handed him an old friend; the Everlasting Rag.

“It was in the room with the Black Pentagram,” he said. “I believe it’s yours.”

Galloway took it, then fell asleep.

Val: I’m a kid now? NOOOO!!!
Galloway: whips out the Everlasting Rag and puts it under Val’s nose
Val: falls asleep

The Naar Saga part 4: Why Assassins are Pathetic

After X-Hunter returned with the kid Val, everyone prepared to break camp. Galloway, having regained his strength, emeged from the tent with a smashed blade, a rag that would never die, and the knowledge that if he didn’t get to the bottom of his dreams, the world would be in some serious shit.

Everyone hiked east, preparing to leave the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota. The group that was with Val didn’t talk at all about what THEY were doing; whenever Galloway or the others brought it up, they simply rolled their eyes away and pointed a sharp object at his neck. This was going to be one LONG trip.

Suddenly, a laser blasted by, barely missing Galloway. It connected with a rock, leaving behind a small burned piece of earth. Cyborgs armed with guns, laser swords, laser spears, and various other nasty weapons that would poke somebody’s eye out, emerged from hiding to challange the group. Unfortunately, they would soon learn not to be take their enemies easily…

One ran straight at Igatona, only to get his head knocked clean off with a single backhand. X-Hunter’s blade ripped through three of them easily. Star, even as a kid, began to summon his Pixy Stixs; many cyborgs layed dead after a few rounds of that. Galloway ripped the spine out of one, then jammed it through another one’s head. Val, despite her size, tried to raise the newly-reincarnated Gungnir. She couldn’t throw it, but about four of the cyborgs impaled themselves on it (they weren’t known for intelligence, it seems).

Just when it seemed like it was over, even MORE came out of nowhere. Pissed at this turn of events, Galloway and Neo fused into Ultra yet again. After powering up with a Kaioken, they vaporized all the enemies in front of them with a simple Ultra-beam. The rest where soon dealt with as well.

Then, a THIRD wave emerged from nowhere. They swarmed over everyone, leading to a massively hectic battle. Fortunately, the heroes didn’t hurt their own side (except for Ultra, when he tossed a cyborg’s corpse that slammed into Faetan’s head, knocking her unconcious).

Soon, the entire army of cyborgs was defeated. Everyone checked in all right; then Ultra noticed something.

“Where’s X-Hunter?”

“He’s our prisoner now,” said a loud, omnimous voice. “If you want to save him, try taking us on.” Suddenly, four new enemies appeared. Their skin was a dark-gray, with cybornetic parts running all through them. But what was most noticible were their right hands; each one was a weapon. One had a sledgehammer; one a chainsaw; one a machine gun; and one a harpoon gun. They stalked towards the heroes, their weapons glimmering in the sun.

The few that remained in fighting condition (Ultra, Igatona, Mabatseeker, and Wil) prepared to do battle with these new enemies.

(Meanwhile, in a far-away land)

The men sat down at the long table. The only really noticible thing about them was the fact that they were all balding men. Their leader took a seat at the end and began the meeting.

“Now, as you have well-heard, Rogain sales have been stopped since their factory was destroyed. Now we have found the culprit: some loser known as Naar. I say we prepare for battle!”

“Yes!” shouted the crowd. “You are our leader, Colin Mockerie!”

Note: I mean no disrespect to Colin Mockerie or Whos Line is it Anyway?. It is possibly my favorite show. I also apologize if I spelled his name wrong. Enjoy.

The Naar Saga part 5: insert title pertaining to plot here

The four new enemies stood still for a moment, a few feet away from the heroes. Then they jumped into a completely ridiculous pose and shouted, “Welcome to your doom! We are…THE FOUR BROTHERS!”

While everyone else stood dumbfounded, they went into a marching stance and simultaniously shouted, “Role call!” The one with the sledgehammer walked forward and said, “Me name is Sledge, I’m really strong! I’m not real bright, but I hate this song!” The one with the chainsaw walked forward. “My name is Cutter, and I’m the greatest one! I’ll rip your lungs out; it’ll be fun!” The one with the machine gun walked forward. “I am called Gunarm, and my gun really hurts. If you get in my way, you’ll be eating the dirt!” Finally, the one with the harpoon walked forward. “I hate this song. It fucking sucks. My name is Impaler, now shut the fuck up!” Then they finally got into their fighting stance.

Everyone else, by this point, was completely stunned. Finally, the four remaining members snapped out of it. “I’ll take Impaler,” said Ultra. “Igatona takes Gunarm, Wil takes Cutter, and Maba takes Sledge. CHARGE!!!”

And so the battle began…

(Meanwhile, at the land of Balding Men…)

“Lord Mochrie!” shouted a young bald guy. “We have news! Another Rogain Factory is burning, along with the rest of the town!”

“WHAT?!” screamed Colin. He rose from his chair and walked to a large window. Outside, he saw the secret Rogain factory in a generic Canadian town burning. The town, too, was on fire.

“That’s it!” he shouted. “The time for action has arrived!” Just then, the phone rang. “Hello?” said Colin. “Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Drew, can we hold filming until- well, I’m kinda trying to save the world, and…I see. Alright, I’ll be there.” He hung the phone up. “Hold the attack,” he said. “I have a show to do.”

Wil’s staff connected with Cutter’s chest, knocking him back into Gunarm, who’s gun went off wildly and hit Sledge, who reeled back in pain and knocked Impaler down. They quickly recovered, however.

Sledge lifted his hammer, but Maba wasn’t going to fall for that. Grabbing a jagged stone, he rushed into the enemy’s chest, driving the deadly weapon of nature deep into the enemy’s heart. Sledge, however, shook it off and knocked Maba aside. Then he collapsed, driving the rock straight through to the other side.

Gunarm fired madly, but Igatona was able to dodge every bullet; that is, until he tripped. At that point, Gunarm fired into his enemy’s back, but Iga’s super-high power kept him from taking anything beyond a scratch. He grabbed the maniac’s gun. It continued to go off, in hopes of striking an opponent, but it didn’t work. Iga simply bent it quickly downwards, and the bullets went through Gunarm’s head, killing him.

Wil used his staff’s length to keep away from Cutter’s massive weapon. However, he was running out of room; just behind him was a deep fissure. Thinking quickly, he let Cutter charge. He then sidestepped and tripped him, causing the enemy to fall through the pit. The sound of a man being skewered on a spike was all it took to establish that another enemy had fallen.

Impaler, however, withstood everything Ultra threw at him. “Fool!” he shouted. “My body can self-repair itself instantly! I cannot be destroyed!” He then launched his harpoon at Ultra, who promptly dodged. The deadly device struck a pile of rocks, revealing a large red portal. Thinking quickly, Ultra moved to the other side of Impaler and charged up his electrical energy. Impaler reloaded the harpoon gun and readied his shot.

“BLITZKREIG!!!” shouted Ultra as he released the energy he had stored. Shocked, Impaler couldn’t fire before the energy blast hit him head-on. The force catapulted him, along with the rest of the beam, straight into the portal. They dissapeared entirely, and the portal promptly closed.

“What the heck was that?” asked Wil. “A gateway to the Dazrian,” replied Galloway, just after unfusing with Neo, “a world on the edge of the Hell plane from which many believe there is no escape. I don’t think we’ll be seeing our friend ever again.”

Naar cursed his luck. He needed them dead now, before Galloway learned the truth about the dreams.

Before he found the prophecy.

Before he found the sword…

(insert funny comment here)

The Naar Saga part 6: Talk Fu

After about five minutes of doing nothing, the group recieved a note that appeared out of nowhere. It read:

“Your friend is inside my Dungeon of Naar. Try to free him…if you dare.” -sincerely, Naar

“God damn it!” shouted Galloway. “This guy’s nothing more than a mere generic villain! Oh well.” With that, they followed the attached map to the dungeon.

They found their destination on the outskirts of the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota. After opening what was left of a trap door, they made their way into a series of intersecting labrinths. Rats moved to and fro from the area. The skeletons of people who didn’t quite make it out of here alive.

Finally, after stepping over enough bodies to make a cannibal blush, they found a door leading deeper into the dungeon. The next room was almost like a sewer. Water was up to their waists as they climbed inside. Blood was stained onto the wall, with scratch marks depicting frenzied battles before the poor victims went to their deaths. After wading through the water, they reached a small grate. Pulling out what was left of his sword, Galloway pried the bars loose, allowing access into the next area.

They were now inside what looked like a cell. The water was part of a large pool, and was obviously intended for bathing. There was a rusted cot in one corner, and no other visible furniture. Fortunately, the door was open, so they made their way even deeper inside.

The next room was definately a torture chamber. Several diabolical machines were placed hap-hazardly inside, each one covered with dried blood. A rack had a still-decomposing corpse placed on it, and Weiila was in one corner almost immediately, vomiting her guts out.

After she had finished, they made their way through yet another door. Now they were inside a large, circular chamber. Several boxes that resembled large dog carriers were stacked in there, with several more covered by a large white tarp.

Suddenly, a mysterious figure jumped out of nowhere. It was definatley a ninja; the black uniform designated it as a member of the Yang order, the most vile ninja sect in existance. Naar had obviously hired some outside help; whatever he was guarding must be important.

The ninja entered a combat stance. It was obvious that if Galloway tried to fight normally, even with his stength, he would probably lose. He had to think of something. Unfortunately, he didn’t think quickly enough; the ninja attacked.

Suddenly, a back door slammed to the ground. The hero from Quest for Glory emerged, still clothed in full armor and wielding his Paladin Sword. The ninja stopped his attack in mid-air, looked around confused, then attacked the hero.

However, the hero was prepared. He suddenly launched into a series of bizzare words and phrases. Galloway suddenly realized that those words were actually martial arts styles and wise men phrases.

The hero was employing the lost art of Talk Fu, the discipline where a person confuses his opponent by talking in long strings of unpronouncible martial arts styles and fortune cookie wisdom. Unfortunately, he had gotten lost before while studying it between Karate and Kuk Sul.

The ninja became dazed, then lost conciousness. The hero then tossed him down a garbage chute. Hopefully, that would be the last they ever saw of him.

The hero explained that he had entered the dungeons when he heard that some kids from another dimension had been taken prisoner by Naar to use for his experiences. He wouldn’t say who they were or where they came from, but he did explain that all evidence pointed towards this room; there were several others he did NOT investigate.

Finally, they decided to continue onward. The hero, however, moved the tarp. He found what he was looking for. Two small kids, a boy and a girl, were sound asleep inside two of the larger carriers. Galloway looked at them, then muttered, “T.K. and Kari,” then finally collapsed.

Weiila: Digimon now? You’re sick, you know that?
Galloway: Hey, it’s better than Pokemon.
Weiila:…Good point.

The Naar Saga part 7: Fallen?

After regaining himself, Galloway decided that whatever caused these two characters to come here must be nearby. He seperated the groups easily: he would take Wil, Maba, Falchin and the hero to find the cause, while the others would stay behind and gather what info they could from the two when they woke up.

The next area was a long, torch-lit tunnel. It bore a slight resemblance to an ancient crypt, especially with the hoards of skeletons lying around. Rats scurried away with small pieces of flesh in their mouths: whatever got killed here hasn’t dead for long.

The path ended at a barred gate. Despite their best efforts, the group couldn’t get the gate to open. Then they spied the spiral staircase next to them. With no other viable options, they walked up.

Colin, dressed in the armor denoting a leader of Balding Men, lead his followers through the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota. His men whistled small army tunes as they made their way deeper into the landscape. Finally, they reached the entrance to the dungeon.

“Naar must be nearby!” said Colin. “We must find him, and quickly, before any more Rogain factories are destroyed!”

The Balding Men shouted in response. They were going to stop Naar somehow.

The staircase led to a circular stone room. With the exception of a podium and a bed, it was completely devoid of furniture. Dust covered every inch of the floor, and spiders danced merrily in the corners.

A large book sat on the podium. Upon closer examination, it was revealed to be a copy of “Portals into Other Universes and Other Mischeviously Evil Magical Spells”. Galloway tried to read through it, but to no avail: the entire thing was recorded in some type of ungodly language.

Suddenly, hordes of Balding Men entered the area. Colin Mochrie himself walked forward. “Where’s Naar?” he asked sternly.

“That’s exactly what we’d like to know!” replied Galloway, the definite taste of contempt in his voice. “We came into this place so we could find him!”

Suddenly, the entire place began to shake. “Quick!” shouted Colin. “We have to get out of here!” Hurridly, he turned to run, but a force pushed him straight into Galloway, sending them hurtling to the floor. They then found themselves totally unable to move.

“Our lord!” shouted the Balding Men.

“Get out of here!” shouted Colin. “Save yourselves!”

Almost begrudgingly, everyone left the two as they lay helpless. Suddenly, others appeared by them: Weiila, Val, Poke, Star, T.K., and Kari. Someone sure was being annoying here…

They didn’t have to think about it long; the ground soon broke, sending them tumbling underground.

The others escaped just as the entire place caved inward. They said a few silent prayers for their fallen comrades, but were stopped when a familiar voice rang out in the distance.

“Hey, what’s everyone so sad about?”

Gemini, Hunter and Sensei walked towards the entire group (including the Balding Men). “If my brother was dead,” said Gemini, “his power would have been released by now. Since it hasn’t, I think it’s safe to assume that he’s still alive, and in all probability, the others as well.”

“How do you know about that?” asked Falchin.

“Easy,” said Gemini, “I use the ‘Relation to the Author’ technique. It’s powerful enough to even pierce the fourth wall.”

At that, everyone fainted.

Galloway: fixes the fourth wall

The Naar Saga part 8: The Flying Bunker

Galloway finally regained conciousness after several hours. Despite the bruises and pains he had all over his body, he somehow stood up. Surrounding him was everyone else that had fallen into the hole with him: each of them were still out. However, something was in the back; something large and made of metal…

Galloway walked towards it to find a locked metal door, heavily rusted and covered with plant growth and debris. Moving the junk aside, he found a familiar keypad lock placed on the door. Suddenly, as if in a sheer moment of recolection, he punched in the correct sequence for the door.

Inside was a heavily trashed area. A nearby light switch revealed a heap of destroyed and damaged objects. The lights barely stayed on, with several of the lamps destroyed. Half of the area seemed to be like something out of a doll house: sofas, chairs, a table, a kitchen area, and various other things. There were several smaller rooms; from the ones Galloway could see, they appeared to be living quarters.

However, the other side of the room had something that looked like the bridge from Star Trek. A busted chair stood right in the middle of the area. Several computer panels were broken beyond repair, although some seemed still functional. In fact, it was his check of one that revealed what this was:

October 20, 2001: Maiden voyage of FB Model X-4 begun. Slight engine complications have caused difficulties, but no major difficulties so far. Looking forward to seeing the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota soon.

Galloway then remembered. He had spent many of his earlier time at RPGC working on a flying, highly-mobile fortress in order to protect himself (this was BEFORE he started watching DBZ). However, each model had failed before, due to either mechanical failure, severe damage, or sabatoge. This model had failed when it ran out of fuel.

Of course, being the idiot he was back then, he had abandoned ship too early, before he realized that there was extra fuel in a storage room. The ship plunged into the ground, apparantly burying itself from the force of the impact.

This was none other than the Flying Bunker!

Galloway checked the ship’s controls. Apparantly, the navigation was still alright, although some heavy damage was shown on several compartments. Still, this seemed like the only way to escape from here now.

Thinking quickly, he returned to the others…

Colin, Weiila, and Kari had finally been able to awaken. For the most part, it was simply stunned gazes that were exchanged between them; after all, we had a kid version of an author, an anime character, and the leader of Balding Men all around the world in one single ubderground cavern.

“Hey, you three!” shouted Galloway. “Get the others and move into here. We’re busting out of this crappy cave!”

“Wait a second!” shouted Kari. “What’s going on here?”

Galloway gave her a cold, hard look. “Just do as I say, or what’s left of my sword will rip through that little head of yours like a knife through butter.”

The threat apparantly worked. They immediately got to work helping everyone inside.

After everyone had been piled up, Galloway moved to the helm of the bunker. After typing in some commands on the navigational computer, the engines immediately fired up. The incredible pressure of the old machinery operating again shook the entire bunker with unprecidented fury, but somehow, it began to tunnel back out.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the bunker pierced the top soil. They had escaped from the underground cavern! Unfortunately, after going a few feet down the road, the bunker’s engines gave out, and it came back down to earth.

Galloway climbed out. He was apparantly stranded in North Dakota now, unless he could find some new parts for the bunker. Then he remembered where he was…

After telling everyone to stay on the bunker, he climbed down the hidden trap door into the North Dakota MERC HQ…

Naar shook his head. Those fools were obviously too much for his normal forces to handle. It looked like there was only one thing to do.

Drawing his sword, he prepared to enter the fray himself…


The Naar Saga part 9: Anime, Multiple Planes, and a Fight

Galloway found the North Dakota MERC to be almost completely deserted. The walls were covered with deep layers of rust, stained blood was plastered everywhere, and bullet holes were almost as plentiful as the previous two elements. Galloway was shocked at the amount of destruction he saw here.

Suddenly, he found what he was looking for: the electronic supplies cabinet. Opening it yielded the stuff he needed; and then some…

Kari sat at what was left of the table, simply thinking. Colin went out and got a pitcher of water. Weiila sat on one of the rotting beds, playing with a piece of string she had found. T.K. sat across from Kari, seemingly doing the same thing she was. Star was curled up in a corner, taking a nap. Pokefreak was looking at one of his Pokeballs. Val was asleep, hugging her spear.

Colin took a sip of his water. “What the heck are you two kids thinking about?”

T.K. turned slowly. “Oh, nothing,” he said, “just that we’re in some wierd place with no way to get home, no idea what’s going on, and no clue as to what happened to us.”

“What do you mean, ‘what happened to us’?” replied Colin. “You’re just a damn kid! You weren’t hurt too badly, anyway.”

Just then, Galloway opened the door, carrying about fifty pounds worth of tools, electronic equipment, and porno (showing where the late supplies clerk had hidden his stash). After setting the stuff down, he took a seat at the table, took out his sword, and continued to check the damage. It was official: it was beyond repair.

He then noticed what everyone else was doing. “Okay, why’s everyone so upset here?” They then launched into the same small speech. Galloway listened for a bit, then pulled out a series of graphs entitled “Complicated Graphs That Will Solve Every Question You’ll Ever Have”.

“Now,” he started, pointing to a map showing several planes being stacked on top of each other, "the universe we live in is actually part of the Mulitverse, with infinitely different Planes of Existance. What you see on TV, the Internet, and various other places are actually pieces from those planes. Each one has it’s own dimension, so they never cross over.

“You two come from here,” he said, using what was left of his sword to point to one of the planes. “Naar somehow opened up a portal between your plane and ours in some type of dastardly plot.”

Just then, a loud knock was heard at the door. Galloway opened it to find Naar. “Excuse me,” he said, “but since all my minions are dead right now, I was wondering if you would like to be destroyed?”

“Okay,” said Galloway, “but let me make a quick phone call.” He whipped out his phone before Naar could respond. “Hello?” he said. “Uh-huh, uh-huh, listen, shut up for a second. Come over here right now. Yeah, it’s one of those situations.” He then hung up.

Suddenly, Neo teleported in. The two walked outside, fused into Ultra, and the fight began.

Of course, Naar began to win easily. Ultra Galloway wasn’t a match before, and certainly wasn’t a match now. However, Galloway had one last trick up his sleeve…

Just then, his whole body began to glow. His eyes turned green, electricity cackled over every area of his being, and his hair grew unbelievably long and golden. Naturally, in the spirit of DBZ parodies the world over, Ultra had gone SSJ3.

At first, Naar wasn’t bothered. After all, the battle was definately going to go his way; what was a lot of extra hair and green eyes going to do to him? Galloway, however, felt confident that this match was going to end now.

Naar pulled back his arms and fired a ball of pure evil straight at his enemy. Galloway simply brushed it aside with one swipe, causing it to turn into a bunch of black slime on the ground. He then responded with an Ultra-beam, which collided head-on with Naar and sent him, burning and seething, to the ground in a heap.

Galloway then performed a Gallo-Blast, which sent Naar’s critically wounded body flying backwards. Naar struggled to his feet, but was knocked down when an Ultra-Ball slammed into him from above. Remarkably, however, he survived, although just barely.

Just then, Galloway landed, pulling back his arms for a Blitzkreig. Naar, however, suddenly concocted a new plan. Suddenly, the black slime grabbed Galloway, pinning him to the ground. Naar then used the chance to escape back to his castle.

Galloway struggled for nearly half-an-hour before he broke free. He collapsed and unfused. This battle, it seemed, would have to wait for another day…

Sensei, Gemini, Hunter, Igatona, Wil, Maba, and the hero sat in Sensei’s training room, eating a small meal.

“So,” said Sensei, “the Yang Order has returned. They were supposed to have been destroyed several hundred years ago, but they have returned.”

“Master,” asked Gemini, “what could possibly ressurect the Yang Order? Their teachings are dead.”

“Not quite,” replied Sensei. “You see, there survived one other manuscript of their techniques. It was placed in a shrine, along with an item called the “Ultra-Orb.” Someone found it, and obviously it was stolen.”

Gemini kept silent. Galloway had told him about how the Ultra-Orb had created Neo, but he didn’t say anything about a book.

Just then, a man wearing a suit of Dragon equipment entered. He signaled to them silently. “I heard about X-Hunter being captured. I have come to help.”

“But who are you?” asked Hunter.

The man smiled. “Chris of the Brood.”

(Oh, it’s the saga that never ends! Oh, it’s the saga that never ends!)

The Naar Saga part 10: The Border World

Naar rested in his throne room. He now knew what Galloway was capable of, even without the legendary sword. However, the foolish heroes were still missing their friend, and he knew that they would try to get to him somehow. And there, he said, he would strike them.

He would watch them die.

Suddenly, the portal to Hell opened. A ninja appeared. He wore a yellow-and-black suit, with a skull-like mask covering his mouth. His eyes were pupilless, his gaze seemingly burning through a man’s very soul. He walked towards Naar with a sense of hatred and discontent.

“You know who I seek,” said Naar. “Destroy them, and I will reward you handsomely.” With that, the ninja bowed and left.

After everyone had recovered, Galloway decided to begin the repairs on the bunker. They had to find the others, and soon. Fortunately, a “Repairing Futuristic Transportation Vehicles for Dummies” book was in the cabinet, so everything went quickly.

Finally, after about five minutes, the bunker was in good shape again. The metal now shined briliantly. The destroyed terminals were all replaced with more advanced models. The rotting beds were taken out, and newer, larger models were put in. Fresh food was stocked, the engines were completely refueled, and the shock stabilizers were working again.

Galloway headed up to the bridge. “This is your captain speaking,” he said. “We are preparing to take off. Please keep all hands and arms inside the bunker at all times. No eating, drinking, or sex while take-off is commencing. Have an enjoyable flight.” With that, he entered the commands to start the engines.

The bunker quickly rose into the sky, accompanied by absolutely no cheering whatsoever. Galloway, however, didn’t worry about that.

“It looks like I may have a temporary crew,” he said. “That could really be helpful.”

Chris led the others to a large machine located somewhere in New Mexico. The doors slammed shut behind them, trapping them inside.

“This will be our key to saving your friend,” he said. He pushed a button on a nearby terminal, and the machine suddenly started up. “This is a transporter to the border world of Xen. X-Hunter is being held inside that nightmarish hell.”

Just then, one of the doors was busted down. The ninja that had left Naar’s castle entered. In shock, everyone prepared for battle. Chris, however, interrupted them.

“We have to hurry through! There’s no time to waste!”

The ninja, however, had other plans. He showed them his hostage, which he had taken no more than seven minutes ago: Faetan. “If you want her to live,” he said, in a deep, horrific voice, “you’d better just kill yourselves right now!”

Unfortunately, a kick to the groin was all it took to knock him over. Strangely enough, though, blood splashed out when the blow connected, and yet the ninja was still able to stand.

“Very well,” he said. “I’ll destroy you myself!”

He dashed straight at Chris, sending him toppling to the teleporter. Mabat was knocked aside by a single backhand. Wil’s staff was broken in two with one chop; he was knocked out by a roundhouse. When Iga tried to back off, the ninja raised his arm. A spear launched out of his hand and impaled itself on Igatona. The ninja shouted “Get over here!”, then pulled Iga close to him and ended with an uppercut.

The hero, however, had already sensed the pure evil radiating from the ninja. Without a moment’s hesitation, he shouted, “Peace!” The purity of his attack sent the attacker stumbling backwards, shrieking in agony. He then charged forward, sword in hand.

Unfortunately, Gemini, Hunter and Sensei had prepared to do a triple attack at the enemy. At the same time, Chris, having recovered, charged forward to attack. All five of them collided with the ninja at the same time. The momentum carried all of them straight through the portal in the middle of the transporter, which promptly closed.

Wil looked in a mixture of pain and disbelief. He then saw the terminal; it had been smashed in the battle by a piece of his staff. It looked like there was no way back now.

Their friends might be forever trapped in Xen.

The six who had gone into the portal tumbled through flashing green lights and pitch blackness. It seemed like time itself was beginning to collapse.

Suddenly, the feeling stopped, and they found themselves on what felt like dry ground. Gradually, the darkness vanished, revealing a bleak and desolate landscape. Platforms of solid rock were suspended in mid-air. Bizzare plants gave off an eerie light down below, and the sky was painted completely gray. They had reached their target.

They had reached Xen.

And the plot was thick…and the people rejoiced…

The Naar Saga part 11: Gonarch’s Lair

The ninja struggled free of his captors. He turned towards them, holding the head of his spear like a knife. “Which one of you retards wants to die first?” he shouted, in the same somewhat emotionless voice.

“How about…you?” said the hero, drawing his sword, which was now engulfed in blue flame. “But first, tell me something, and believe me, I’ll know if you’re lying. Why do you want to kill us?”

The ninja eyed the Ring of Truth on the hero’s finger, and realized that this was no ideal threat. “Naar sent me,” he said. “He brought me back from Hell in order to destroy you. If I did what he asked of me, my family and I would be free from the chains of death.” With that, he jumped from the platform to another one in the distance, and proceeded to run.

With no other option, the others followed.

They chased him down several passages, into another portal. When they came to, they were looking at a large, red, pulsating pouch.

Moving their eyes northward, they saw that it was part of a gigantic spider.

In panic, they backed away, just as the creature let out a massive roar. The hero drew his sword, prepared for combat. However, a small bit of acid landed near him; it burned straight through the ground.

Everyone knew this was going to be a difficult battle.

Gemini, Hunter and Sensei released a massive series of Jitsus at the creature, frying most of it. Unfortunately, it simply shook off the attacks as if they were nothing but mere sunburns and charged forward, it’s jaws prepared to tear them apart.

Just then, Chris’s sword connected, cutting a gaping wound into the creature. A flurry of attacks from both Chris and the hero followed shortly afterwards, causing the monster to panic and flee. With no other option, they chased after it.

The ninja hid above the cavern entrance, thinking. He knew Naar wouldn’t keep his promise; he knew from the beginning. However, he had foolishly followed along. But still, these morons didn’t know what they were going up against. Naar was a god, after all.

It is very difficult to destroy a god.

Just then, he saw the spider come through. The warriors followed after it, weapons and magic ready. However, the ninja knew they didn’t stand a chance; not as they were.

Before he knew it, many of them were injured from burns and bites as the creature showed what it was really capable of. There was no hope for them now.

That was when the ninja reacted. His spear landed straight into the spider’s back. Using it, he jumped on top and plunged his hand straight into the monster. As the creature moaned in sheer pain, the ninja pulled something out.

It was the heart of the beast.

The creature fell forward, plunging straight through a mess of cobwebs. Unfortunately, the ninja wasn’t able to get out in time, and he fell through with it.

Everyone looked down the pit, let out a sad sigh, then left. Except for Gemini. Something was clearly wrong here.

For some reason, it seemed like the ninja wasn’t on the spider’s back when it fell out of sight. Could he have escaped?

Suddenly, another portal enveloped them, sending them into a new area of Xen.

Galloway checked the quadrants. They would be reaching Mora within the hour. Hopefully, Eihra could shed some light on what was going on.

However, he was getting too tired to continue. Typing in some commands, the bunker plunged into the ocean, then submerged itself. Entire bunker was now underwater. Hopefully, that would keep it out of sight for a while.

Locking the bridge door behind him, he told the others to get some sleep. They had a long day ahead of them tommorrow…

Wil, Maba, Iga, and Faetan struggled with the machinery, but to no avail. They would have to get some new supplies, and fast. Who knew what horrors were facing their friends in Xen?

Naar believed that his warrior was dead. After all, he had plunged through with that spider. Still, he was right; Naar wasn’t planning on keeping his half of the bargain.

Then he sensed something. A faint life force began to penetrate his senses. Quickly, he reached his eye outward. He saw his ninja lying on a cliffside, critically injured. Suddenly, another arm grabbed him and dragged him inside a cave.

Naar chuckled cruelly. “Imagine that. My beloved ninja, saved by his own worst enemy.”

Galloway: Thank heaven for 7-11!

The Naar Saga part 12: The Fall of Naar

Naar left his castle quickly. He knew what had to be done. Scorpion was still alive, Galloway seemed to be closing in on the sword, and those fools just might make it out of Xen alive. He had to tilt the odds back into his favor.

But first, there were those morons in the lab…

The ninja came to his senses gradually. He was laying in a small pool of water; light seemed to be radiating from it. Obviously, this was one of the few good things in this nightmare world.

When he turned, he saw a small note. It read:

I have sensed Naar’s presence. He must be stopped at all cost. I left a portal to the lab open so you can return. I know being a good guy isn’t in your nature, but there is no other choice at this point. Good luck, Scorpion.

It was signed: Sub-Zero.

Wil, Maba, Igatona, and Faetan labored strenously on the terminal, trying desperately to open the portal back up. So far, there was no success: nobody knew enough to fix the machine with nothing more than a stick of gum and a butter knife. Maybe if they had McGuiver…

Unfortunately, they didn’t have much time to worry about that. A portal suddenly opened up. And, believe it or not, Naar himself stepped out.

“I’ve been too lenient with you fools!” he shouted, raising his arms as he did so. “Being transformed into mere children isn’t enough. I’ll see to it that you’re all banished from this world FOREVER!!!” A single beam of energy was released from his hands, targeting the small group.

Suddenly, the beam was frozen in mid-air. Naar, completely confused, turn to face this new attacker. His head moved just in time to see a foot smack him straight to the ground.

Sub-Zero jumped back and fired another ice blast straight at his opponent. Unfortunately, Naar was completely immune to this kind of power; it felt like nothing more than a mere tickle. He whipped out some sort of tentacle and grabbed Sub-Zero by the leg, dragging him to the ground.

“So, this one seeks to die first!” shouted Naar. Unfortunately for him, Sub-Zero had already frozen the tentacle; Naar himself was immune, but his power was not. Soon, the black appendage was shattered. Naar, feeling the loss of his power, walked back, screaming in pain.

Suddenly, a portal opened above Naar. Scorpion fell out, his spear in hand. He landed straight on top of Naar and, without a moment’s hesitation, drove his spear straight into Naar’s eyes, gouging them out.

Naar felt the weakness and futility of this battle. He couldn’t stand this much more. He had to escape.

But then, a cruel smile crept across his lips. He had simply to take the sword, and the power that could completely destroy him would be forever gone.

Suddenly, Naar dissapeared, and everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Galloway sat in the captain’s chair on the bridge. The bunker was actually quite capable of moving underwater; and for that, he was grateful. He couldn’t risk having Naar catch them in this state.

Suddenly, the vehicle bumped into something hard. When Galloway looked out the viewfinder, he found that they had entered some kind of subterranian cave. Without even thinking about what time it was, he surfaced the bunker and exited.

The cave was actually part of a massive set of ruins. Broken pillars lined up along both walls, while rats hid in the remains of armored skeletons. Obviously, a battle of some sort must have been held here.

Finally, at the back, Galloway found something bizzare. A stone rock was placed in the middle of a circular stone room. A hole revealed massive amounts of light being poured directly onto the stone and what was inside it.

A golden sword.

Almost as if guided by instinct, Galloway walked towards the sword. His hands reached up and grabbed the hilt. Then, although his mind tried to tell his body that something was different, he pulled it free.

The hole in the roof suddenly became pitch-black. A series of black essence made its way down into the room. It eventually formed into Naar.

“So, you found the sword,” he said. “I guess a brat won’t be able to use it, now will he?” With that, Naar fired a blast forward.

It changed direction in mid-air and instead moved toward the sword, which absorbed the attack. Naar cursed in frustration at this new weapon. Drawing his own sword, he prepared to take Galloway down once and for all.

Naar struck first, but Galloway moved out of the way in time. He then counter-attacked with a swift back strike to Naar, cutting a deep wound. The smell of sulfur filled the area. Naar then brought his sword down, but Galloway parried easily.

Naar’s weapon shattered. In panic, he began to concoct another spell, but this time, Galloway was on the offensive. He brought the blade down upon his opponent. Soon, Naar was writhing on the ground, barely alive.

Galloway prepared to finish his weakened enemy off with a single strike, but Naar wasn’t ready to go. “You will pay dearly for this someday!” he cursed. Suddenly, his form was no longer there. Instead, the essence reappeared, then settled into another corner. It soon began to transform itself into Naar again.

He fell to one knee, chanting a bizzare series of words under his breath. Suddenly, he dissapeared in a wall of smoke. Galloway knew that his enemy wasn’t dead.

Without thinking it over much, he continued to search the room. He found only one other usable item: a scabbard lying in a dark corner. With nothing else to hold his new weapon in, he sheathed the sword and returned to the bunker.

Naar tended to his wounds. Galloway didn’t know his exact plan yet; nobody did. Fortunately, it was already being enacted.

Soon, revenge would be his…


The Naar Saga part 13: NIHILANTH

Chris and his group landed inside a deep pit. The walls seemed to scale up endlessly into the black sky. Their monotony was broken only by four yellow spike-like objects and a few cliffs. That, and a cage holding two people hostage.

The first was Zero X-Hunter. The other was the other Zero!

“Great, a two-for-one deal,” muttered Gemini, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Come on, let’s get them and get out of here.”

But just then, something began to fall into the area. It looked like something out of a cheesy 50’s sci-fi movie; namely, one of those short little aliens. Only this one was about two hundred feet tall. And had sharp claws. And was yellow instead of green.

Everyone just looked in stunned silence for a few minutes. Then, the creature shot out about a dozen lightning balls. Most of them were able to dodge, but Hunter was hit dead-on and send crashing into the wall.

Sensei immediately launched an enormous series of Fire Jitsus at the monster, but the monster shrugged them off and plastered him with another volley of lightning balls. The hero rushed over to heal both Sensei and Hunter, but a hoard of misshapen, freakish creatures entered the area suddenly, and he and Gemini were forced to go to battling them.

Chris, realizing the problem presented, transformed into a Kaiser. He released a shitload of Kaiser Breaths at the monster, but they, too, had no real effect. This entire battle was going downhill.

Suddenly, another problem presented itself. Some kind of shade entered the area, looking at the entire battle with sheer malevolance. Suddenly, everyone was blasted by a powerful spell.

All the creatures (except for the giant one) were killed, and all of the heroes were left nearly dead. All except the hero.

The monster turned towards his prisoners, only to discover that their cage had been sliced open. It realized at that point that it probably should have disarmed them before tossing them inside for Naar.

The hero approached the spirit, his sword still drawn. In frustration, the spirit tried countless spells, but they all bounced off the hero without even fazing him. Finally, after all this, it tried to flee. Unfortunately, it didn’t get far before the hero’s sword fell upon the back.

Even though it was part of another plane of existance, it collapsed from the sheer power of the sword.

Gemini, having recovered, decided to jump onto one of the spikes to get a better shot. When he checked, though, he found that the spikes were gone; whatever that spirit had done must have destroyed him. Shrugging, he continued to blast at the monster.

Suddenly, the spirit began to cry out, “NIHILANTH!!! STOP THEM!!!” A swoop from the hero’s sword was all it took to shut up the spirit again.

Gemini amd Chris continued to attack, but NIHILANTH had enough of this. Another volley of lightning balls was all it took to bring Chris down. In a panic, he reverted to his human form. Gemini, however, proved to be a slightly more difficult target.

Finally, after about an hour of blasting, Gemini realized that there was only one way to finish this battle. He rushed towards NIHILANTH, jumped into the air, and performed the all-powerful Jenova Storm. The combined attacks ripped NIHILANTH’s head wide open, revealing a bunch of empty air with a floating yellow crystal.

Unfortunately, Gemini wasn’t able to get out of the way of another volley, and was left barely alive on the ground. Once again, the battle was falling apart.

However, Hunter stood up and walked slowly forward. “NIHILANTH,” he moaned, “I will destroy you once and for all!” Before anyone could stop him, he jumped up and landed right next to the crystal.

Almost immediately, he began to channel his energy into one blast. Even when he began to collapse, he didn’t stop. NIHILANTH raised his arms, preparing to rain more death down to finish the job.

Finally, Hunter released the blast. The attack collided head-on with the crystal.

For a second, time seemed to stand still. Then the crystal exploded in a briliiant white light. Everyone strained their eyes against the explosion, barely able to see the limp, lifeless body of Hunter plummeting to the ground. Finally, before they passed out, they saw NIHILANTH explode into pieces.

When they came to, the entire place was in pieces. The spirit that had previously challanged them was gone; in its place was a note:

You have not seen the last of me. -Urkani

However, most of the attention was focused on Hunter’s body. Sensei sadly proclaimed that it was impossible to save him; he had drained all of his life energy using the technique, and nothing could be done to revive him.

Suddenly, a portal opened up. Without even a second thought, they picked up Hunter’s body and carried it through the portal with them.

They found themselves back at the lab. Faetan, Igatona, Wilfredo, and Maba greeted them with open arms; also among them were X-Hunter and Zero, after having escaped on their own. Scorpion and Sub-Zero stayed hidden in a corner.

They took Hunter’s body to the surface, where they cremated it. There was an uneasiness throughout the area, but they realized that it was all they could do now.

This fueled their sense for revenge. They would somehow get Naar and destroy him for this.

Falchin looked at the Black Mage Village with slight contempt. The people were obviously happier now that he and Mox were out of the picture. The children played, the elderly watched, and everywhere was talk of Meliah. They talked about how she was now nine months pregnant, and how she had no husband, and various other things.

This slightly bothered Falchin, but he couldn’t talk about these things to his sister. At least, not in this form…

Galloway continued to toy with the bunker. Just because he had found a sword didn’t mean he was any closer to beating Naar. He knew the only way to defeat his opponent was to find out why he had wanted two anime characters in the first place.

He knew how to find out, but decided to talk to Eihra first. He had to stick to the plan.

And there was much sadness…wait a second! Nobody cared about Hunter anyway!

The Naar Saga part 14: The Next World

The bunker rose slowly the next day, shaking off the ocean water like water off a duck’s back. (Yes, that’s the worst sentence ever!) Galloway continued their journey to Mora without delay, even though he hadn’t slept all night. Oh well, coffee can always hold unimaginable powers.

Scorpion and Sub-Zero moved away from the others during the cremation. After walking a great distance, Sub-Zero opened another portal.

“Raiden told me what Naar is planning,” he said. “I must travel to where his attack will start and stop it before it is too late.”

Scorpion grabbed him by the throat. “I’m coming too! I have a little bone to pick with Naar myself- his!” Sub-Zero eventually broke free from the grasp and shouted, “Is that how you ask people things?”

Scorpion shrugged. “It’s just my way.” With that, they stepped through the portal.

Galloway hid the bunker, then teleported over to Weiila’s house. A good, strong kick to the door was all it took to send it crashing to the ground.

He found the entire enterior trashed.

Suddenly, he felt several small bodies push by his legs, followed by a bald guy knocking him to the ground. As he was picking himself up, part of the ceiling collapsed, pinning him down again. And after he got out of that, a safe crushed him, followed by a grand piano and a dump truck.

A good discharge was all it took to blast the stuff off of Galloway. Unfortunately, what was left of the junk piled back onto him. When he was finally able to get himself out of the trash, he decided to search the area himself.

He found that Eihra was gone. On Weiila’s bed was a note that read:

“I have the girl. If you seek to free her, push the inclosed button.” -Naar.

On the bottom of the note was a small red button. When Galloway pressed it, a huge red portal opened up and swallowed everyone in the room.

After the makeshift funeral, the small group decided to head back and find Galloway. They had to somehow stop the upcoming disaster before it was too late.

Before others died like Hunter did.

Falchinn sat by the small pool of water, using a small stick as a fishing pole. Unfortunately, the catching was never good here; especially since the fish died when Mox poisoned the pool. But that was all in the past.

After all, he had to be going soon. He was going to pay his dear sister a visit.

Naar laughed heartidly at what was going on. The fools were falling straight into his trap. But first, another matter had to be resolved…

The figure walked into the room. “You called, Master?” it asked, in an eerily familiar voice.

“Yes,” said Naar, “I did indeed call you. I want you to go and kill those pathetic heroes before they jepordize my plans any farther.”

“Very well,” said the figure. It melted away into the shadows.

Naar laughed heavily. Those foolish warriors wouldn’t know what hit them…


The Naar Saga part 15: Unfortunate Homecoming
After twisting and writhing through the rips and bends in reality, the heroes landed with a loud thud onto solid concrete. When Galloway finally came to, he struggled his way out of beneath his comrades and tried to look around. However, the sudden return to light had rendered his vision hazy at best, and when you consider that he had to make his way out of under a bunch of kids and a Balding Man, who could blame him for not looking that hard?

Suddenly, T.K. let out a small scream, which nearly sent Galloway flying twenty feet into the air. “I’M HOME!!!”

After Galloway had finally resisted the urge to crush the kid’s neck like a twig, he realized that they had made it into T.K.'s and Kari’s universe. Naar must have sent them here somehow.

But why?

Scorpion and Sub-Zero found themselves in front of a twisted black castle. It rose high into the clouds, seemingly for all eternity. The gate was made of jet-black ironl, and a huge series of locks were placed on it, seemingly barring all access to the inner sanctum. Of course, a few Ice Blasts from Sub-Zero, accompanied by some Hell Fires by Scorpion, was all it took to break all the locks.

The inside of the castle was lite only by a few randomly-placed torches. Creatures seemingly crawled around freely, their yellow eyes the only noticible things in the darkness. A shrill wind came seemingly out of nowhere as they entered.

Suddenly, the gates closed with a heavy bang behind them. The torches went out, and a horrificly pale light filled the hall. It was enough to see an army of armored soldiers closing in on the two ninjas.

The climb up the steps to Kari’s home was about as long as walking through the God-forsaken hell hole called North Dakota. Finally, they reached the floor, Galloway practically crawling by this point. Neo, however, had decided to take the path of least resistance and teleport up. Once again, Galloway used all his strength to keep from strangling him.

They found every door in the building broken down, the insides completely torn through. The destruction clearly showed that someone had gone through quite a bit of trouble in trying to find something…or someone…

After the initial panic of realizing that Kari’s family (as well as pretty much everyone else in the city) had dissapeared, all eyes turned to the omnimous floating castle in the distance…

Scorpion ripped through the first row of guards with a few Hapiko slices, while Sub-Zero simply used the old-fashioned punching and kicking. When that didn’t work, he ripped the head off one of the guards and used the spine as a spear, ripping straight through an entire row of his enemies.

Finally, the entire hall was filled with the blood of the massacared enemies. Scorpion ripped what was left of them apart for good measure, then lead Sub-Zero deeper into the evil castle.

The next area was a pool of blood. Realizing that there was no other way through, they lowered themselves into the thick liquid. Whoever Naar hired as an interior decorator obviously had some bizzare tastes.

As they waded through, they could hear unearthly laughs amid screams of agony. Something was happening nearby, but that had to wait for the moment.

Falchin gathered his courage, then entered his sister’s house.

(Yes, this episode is ending there. Don’t sue me.)

The Naar Saga part 16: Yet Another Naar Battle

Scorpion bashed the grate covering open and led Sub-Zero deeper into the cavernous castle. The screams had dissapeared into the distance, leaving an eerie quiet in the small dark hall. The few torches soon began to fade entirely as the two ninjas made their way into the inner sanctum.

Inside, they saw Naar seated on his throne, his back to them. Realizing the opportunity presented, they cautiously approached. But just as they were almost to the enemy, a knife brushed along Scorpion’s neck. Naar turned around, his sword in hand.

A shadowy figure emerged from the wall. It was completely black, with only white holes for eyes. It wore a simply black robe and carried a crooked dagger. “Stand back, master,” it said. “I will finish these pathetic fools!”

However, footsteps were heard from the hall. The doors to the sanctum were smashed down as Galloway led his troop towards Naar. Upon seeing the shadow, however, he stopped. The figure moved back in disgust.

“Bloodwine!” screamed Galloway. “Get back here now!” The shadow was instantly gone.

“Um…what was that?” asked Weiila.

“Bloodwine,” said Galloway. “He’s my character on RetroMUD. But we don’t have time for lengthy explanations right now. We have an evil god to defeat!”

Scorpion immediately dealt a nasty combo to Naar. Sub-Zero followed in suit, bashing the evil god back and forth between the two. However, this bit of fun wasn’t to last. Naar quickly tossed a ball of black slime at Scorpion, pinning him to the wall. When Sub-Zero tried to help him, Naar slashed him across the back. The ninja slumped forward, dead.

With his first two opponents defeated, Naar turned towards Galloway. Unfortunately, Galloway was so pissed at what had happened that he had fused with Neo and gone SSJ3 while Naar still had his back turned. When Naar’s eyes met with Galloway’s, his enemy was already delivering a powerful blow.

Naar went flying, but didn’t go far. He shouted “Night’s Everlasting Horror!”, and Galloway both sensed and saw the power he had suddenly gained. Naar sent Galloway plummeting into the ground with one blow.

The force unfused the two Galloways, and they rolled aside just in time to dodge another attack. Neo, however, was knocked unconcious by a rock to the back of the head. Galloway, realizing that there was no other way out, drew his new sword.

The entire room was filled with blinding light the moment the sword left the scabbard. Naar feel back, his body now showing wear. Galloway swung the sword at his enemy, and Naar doubled over, nearly dead.

Galloway raised the sword to add the finishing blow, but Naar quickly rolled out of the way and grabbed Starstorm. He then shouted, “If you want your friend to live, then surrender now!” He was obviously going to kill the spazzy cat if he didn’t get his way.

Fortunately, the universal law of dumb luck was working today. A lightning bolt flashed down out of nowhere. When it dissapeared, an aged man wearing a white outfit and a large brown hat appeared where it struck. He raised his hands, and Naar was shocked with several thousand volts of electricity.

Star feel from his grasp, unhurt. Without a leg to stand on, Naar teleported away.

The man stood over Sub-Zero and began to chant something. A light began to form around his hand, and soon Sub-Zero was alive and fully healed. Scorpion broke out of the slime on his own.

“Just who are you?” asked Kari, a bit nervous.

The man turned toward her. “I am the guardian of the Earth Realm. I am one of the Gods of Thunder. I am Raiden.”


The Naar Saga part 17: The Heaven World

Everyone left Naar’s castle, still wondering what was going on. Raiden, however, was quick in sensing their anxiety. Once they had landed, he quickly gathered material for a fire.

“Sit,” he commanded. “It is time you learned the truth about Naar and the worlds.” Once everyone had been seated, the material was suddenly enveloped in a bright blue flame. The smoke began to form into a circle, and clear images appeared inside. Raiden then began his story.

"As you know, the worlds of the multiverse are each created individually. A god is then born to serve as a guardian of each world. I, for example, was created when the Earth Realm was born. This continues indefinately, for, unlike most legends proclaim, Gods are not always immortal. They can be killed just like any normal being.

"When I was born, Shinnok, one of the Elder Gods, the supreme rulers of all gods, set his eyes upon the new realm. He became consumed with sheer greed, and sought to control it. With the aid of my fellow brothers, I was able to expel him to the Outworld for eternity. His evil power was sealed within a pendant, which was placed in the Temple of the Elements and guarded by the gods of Wind, Earth, Water, and Fire.

"Sub-Zero was tricked into retrieving it for Quan Chi, an evil sorcerer who sought to use Shinnok for his own purposes. However, they were both eventually defeated with the aid of the Lin Keui and the Shaolin Monks. It is a miracle that Scorpion survived, but he did somehow.

"However, the heavens soon began to fall into disaster. The gods saw no need for protecting the worlds, and decided to create a new one, called the Heaven World, to live on. I protested, along with Odin and several others, but they refused to listen. The new world was created.

“Now for Naar. He was born when evil was introduced. His mission was to preserve the balance between good and evil, but he decided that his way was best, and attempted to overthrow the other gods. They resisted, and sealed him in the starlight world. He attempted to escape, but one of the original gods still stood in his way, one that could banish him yet again.”

Galloway dared to interrupt the story. “Excuse me, but who is this one god?” Raiden simply stared at him briefly, then continued.

"This god was the God of the Sun. He symbolized the power of good in it’s purest form. He is now in the Heaven World, but seeks to change the minds of the council. He knows Naar’s power first-hand, and while the others believe in their frail immortality, this one knows that only through battle can all the dimensions be saved.

“This one is Kai, the Sun God. You, Galloway, wield his sword, the Sommerswerd. It was lost in a previous battle between the followers of Kai and Naar. Now it has returned to bring pain and grief to the master of all darkness.”

Galloway was completely shocked. He had the weapon that defeated Naar so long ago? So that’s why the god of evil had escaped so constantly!

“However,” continued Raiden, “you are NOT ready to wield it properly. You have not been trained in the use of it. Also, your friends will also need training, for you cannot win this battle alone. I have also brought along some other friends of yours…”

From behind Raiden, Faetan and the rest of her group emerged. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. “Also,” continued Raiden, “I know of one other person who might be able to help. It may seem strange, but this one might hold the key to helping our victory.”

From behind everyone else emerged a small, yellow bear with a black nose and a red shirt. Everyone’s jaw simply dropped in awe.

“WINNIE-THE-POOH?” screamed everyone in unison (except Raiden, of course). “Oh bother,” said Pooh. “I knew this would be hard to believe.”

“Well,” said Raiden, “it is time we left. Your kidnapped friends and family are within Naar’s world itself, but they will have to wait. The time for fun and games has ended. The time for preparing for war has begun.”

A huge blue portal appeared. Without thinking twice, everyone walked through it.

(Nothing to see here! Move along!)

The Naar Saga part 18: Training and Evil

Falchin tried to get to his sister, but couldn’t for the moment; apparantly she was too busy ruling the village to see him. So he arranged for her to meet him by the fishing pond. Hopefully, she would see through the armor and realize this was her old brother.

Unfortunately, Naar suddenly appeared in front of him. “Falchin,” said the evil god, his voice not masking it’s anger, “come with me. It is time to prepare for my homecoming.”

“Never!” screamed Falchin. “I am not my father! I will not join you!”

“Come on now,” said Naar, “it’s not like you have much of a choice here.” Suddenly, a beam of energy came out of Naar’s hand and penetrated Falchin’s armor. Shaking helplessly like a puppet, the black mage could only watch as Naar reached for the item his sister had given him.

What she had told him to keep safe.

The Heaven World wasn’t a solemn place, nor was it especially happy and joyful. Gods and followers walked to and fro, not paying much attention to them at first. However, they walked two steps before everyone casted their eyes on the little group of mortals and a god.

“Raiden,” said a hooded figure standing right next to Galloway, “you know the rules for bringing mortals to this world.”

Raiden looked at him with discontent. “These orders come from Kai himself. They are for the safety of all worlds, including this one. So either step away or get killed.” The man didn’t say another word, but simply backed off.

Raiden led them through the streets and buildings to a particularly large building in the back. It was, for all practical purposes, a fortress. A tall tower rose in the middle, with several smaller buildings and towers joining it at the base. Flags bearing the symbol of Kai were flown without reservation, thus showing that this was where they would find Kai.

Raiden led them through the tall gates to a large courtyard. There he simply instructed them to wait until Kai was ready to reveal himself. Galloway thought up a lame joke to join this, but wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.

And so they waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more just for a bit of variety.

Finally, Raiden returned. “Kai has commanded that Galloway and Pooh are to see him in private,” he said. “The rest of you are to remain in the courtyard for your trainer. I have to leave to speak with the Elder Gods.” With that, Raiden left without saying another word.

Galloway and Pooh went inside to meet Kai while everyone else just sat around, got drunk, and played Ping Pong.

please insert .50 for a joke

The Naar Saga part 19: The Training Begins

Galloway and Pooh stood in the large room for what seemed like an eternity, the sound of ping-pong balls and booze coming in from the courtyard. Of course, they weren’t bothered too much; Pooh prefered honey to beer, and after a small incident involving a ping-pong ball and his netherregions, Galloway had vowed never to play the game again.

Finally, the massive doors parted. Inside walked not a human, but a massive, blinding light. The doors closed quietly behind it, the heavy bar coming down with a dull thud.

“It is time for your training to begin,” said a distant voice. “You will learn to use the Sommerswerd properly, which is why you were seperated from your comrades. As for Pooh, well, although this may sound strange, he himself will help to win the battle. Now, come. Your trainer awaits.”

The light dissapeared, and the doors opened again. As if by instinct, the two walked through them.

After a while of playing, the score for ping-pong was: Girls: 20, Guys: 0. Finally, they decided to continue drinking until whoever was going to train them decided to show up.

And so they continued to wait. Finally, their own master appeared. It was a beautiful woman, bathed in some kind on unearthly light. She walked towards them without stopping, and it wasn’t until she was right next to them that they saw Raiden walking right behind her.

“It is time to begin the training,” she said. “I am Ishir, Goddess of Light and companion to Kai.”

“Kai would be here himself,” said Raiden, “but the Elder Gods have required his presence. This is bad, though; usually, they leave Kai alone unless something is truly wrong. I fear our time is short; we must begin training immediately.”

“Follow me,” said Ishir, leading the group into a large room.

Galloway and Pooh ended up waiting even longer for whoever was going to train them. It wasn’t so bad until Pooh went through his fifteenth and final jar of honey, at which point he began to loose what little brain he had.

Finally, another door opened. In came a young man, with long blonde hair, a muscular body, and a green tunic. He carried a long, silver sword, which cackled with an energy very similar to the Sommerswerd. He stopped in the middle of the room.

“Kai has commanded me to train you,” he said. “Normally, he would do so himself, but considering his current circumstances, he had no choice but to appoint me for the time being.”

“Who are you?” asked Galloway while Pooh searched frantically for another honey pot.

The man bent his head back and laughed. “Lone Wolf.”

Naar returned to his palace. He walked to the back balcony, which overlooked a jet-black graveyard. He reached into his pockets and pulled out the amulet.

The Amulet of Shinnok.

Raising it over his head, he began to chant unearthly words. Suddenly, the ground broke, and massive skeletal beings poured out. They stood at attention to their master.

“It is time for our revenge!” shouted Naar. “Crush the foolish warriors and their gods! We will have our powers back!” This met with enthusiatic appeal with the skeletons. Naar smiled beneath his helmet.

Nothing could stop his Vordaks and Helghasts. Nothing.

Weiila: Vordak? What’s a vordak?
Galloway: You don’t want to know.
Weiila: Then, what about Helghasts?
Galloway: You REALLY don’t want to know.

The Naar Saga part 20: Big Battle!

A week passed in the training. Ishir worked her immortal butt off getting her group ready, and with some rather great success. Lone Wolf also got through to Galloway, but Pooh was a bit tougher to train, especially when he requested honey breaks every five minutes.

Finally, it looked like they might stand a chance against Naar. But just then, a loud knock was heard at the main gate. When Ishir opened it, hoards of Vordaks and Helghasts poured in, pushing her clean aside. Lone Wolf, Galloway, and Pooh heard the commotion and rushed outside, but when they saw the massive army they were facing, they knew this was going to be a tough battle.

Suddenly, the rest of the heroes bursted into the courtyard, meeting the massive army of undead from the side. Taking advantage of the confusion, Galloway quickly unsheathed the Sommerswerd, Lone Wolf pulled out the Skarn-Skae, and Pooh grabbed his tiny wooden sword. They rushed into the battle.

The Elder Gods sat in council, oblivious to what was happening in the courtyard. They talked about what to do with Naar, and all decided to wait it out until they could learn if he actually had the power to return to the heavens.

However, the door was quickly opened. Raiden rushed into the room.

“My fellow Gods!” said Raiden. “The Heaven World is under attack by Naar’s minions!”

Colin lead Kari and T.K. to an isolated area outside of the courtyard. However, he soon saw that a much more massive army was entering from a large portal. They had to close it off somehow…

Just then, as if in answer to their dillema, a golden orb feel in front of Colin. Ishir’s voice rang out. “It’s a Sun-Sphere! Toss it through the portal!”

Galloway swung the Sommerswerd out, ripping about a dozen Vordaks in half instantly. A white bolt of energy shot out of the Skarn-Skae, shredding a row of Helghasts. Pooh’s wooden sword wasn’t doing much, but the enemies by him were so weakened by that point that a slight breeze would kill them.

Val lead the other group through the crowds, impaling any Vordak and Helghast that got too close. The hero was slicing through them like a knife through butter. Zero and X-Hunter ended up killing about twenty dozen before they got pushed back to the training hall. Chris transformed into a dragon and let loose with a barrage of attacks that decimated the evil flood of creatures.

However, they were quickly tiring and being pushed back. The flood went on seemingly forever. They couldn’t last against this threat much longer.

Colin lead his other two members to the portal. He could hear the sound of enormous roaring and growling from within; apparantly something even bigger than before was about to enter.

Without thinking twice about it, he tossed the Sun-Sphere in. The moment it entered, all the heavens were bathed in a blinding light. The Voraks and Helghasts in the courtyard where blinded and burnt, and the heroes took immediate advantage of this, slicing through as many as they could find.

When the light dissapeared, the portal was gone.

Naar cursed his loss, but knew that it was only a minor setback. The fools were bound to come after him; all he had to do was wait…

THE END OF PART 20 The Naar Saga part 21: Triple Threat

Naar knew he had precious little time to come up with a new plan. Large armies would not be enough to take them while they were together, and even though Galloway loves to split the groups up so they’re weaker and more helpless, they were still quite powerful.

That’s when it dawned on him. He knew exactly what he had to do…

Without a moment’s hesitation, he teleported himself out of his castle.

He reappeared inside a large laboratory of some kind. Scientists were busy everywhere, working on something few knew the full potential of. Naar concealed himself using his dark powers and walked among them.

His spying soon payed off. He followed one into a highly-secured area. The scientist was wearing a Hazard Protection Suit, but Naar didn’t need one; after all, he WAS the God of Evil. The scientist walked toward some large, metal containers and began his job.

Naar quietly snapped his neck, then smashed the containers open. Alarm bells quickly rang out, and everyone did what came naturally: they screamed like little girls and ran around. Naar then pushed some buttons on a computer nearby, and a hulking, monstrous figure appeared.

“Come,” said Naar. “Your time of awakening has come.”

Naar then set off to the Black Mage village. Talk was going around that Falchin, wearing Mox’s armor, had been found nearly dead in the forest. This was all good for Naar; after all, it was HE who attacked Falchin to begin with.

He walked to where the Black Pentagram once stood. He found a lone figure standing there. It was a man, in his mid-30’s, wearing a trenchcoat-like garment and a robe, and carrying a sword. Naar beaconed to him, and he followed.

Finally, Naar entered a small American town, completely devoid of all life. Carefully dodging evil monstrosities, he entered a room where the walls, roof, and ground were made from nothing more than rusted, blood-stained metal.

Striding to the middle of the room, Naar began to chant something. A gargoyle entered the room, it’s body twisted and yellowish, it’s head bent and discolored. Like the others, it followed Naar.

Returning to his castle, Naar prepared what was left of his shattered legions. He would soon have more, he knew, but that would have to wait. He just had to wait until the foolish heroes decided to split up.

Then he would have them.

Raiden returned to the heroes. “The Elder Gods have deemed Naar a menace,” he said, “but there are too many areas to concentrate on right now.”

“Well then,” said Galloway, “we have to split up!” Everyone frowned at the idea, but didn’t think about it much. They had to rest one more night. Then they would leave.

Naar heard this, and laughed. They would soon die. He would soon make them die!


The Naar Saga part 22: Split-up

After a restful night, the group got up and prepared to take their massive numbers and set off on the amazing adventure of a lifetime. Raiden opened the portal leading to Galloway’s Flying Bunker, and everyone stepped through.

Galloway stepped out the other side. However, it wasn’t long before he noticed that many of their number had vanished. Only Weiila, Poke, Star, Colin, Kari, Gemini, Sensei, and Pooh had made it to him.

But the BIG surprise was that Weiila, Poke and Star were adults again! They did their little victory dance a bit, until Galloway knocked them out and dragged them onto the bunker.

Val, the hero, T.K., Scorpion, and Wil found themselves standing in some kind of dark dungeon. They casted their eyes around, but saw no life. Suddenly, three figures entered.

One had a long red beard, a robotic helmet, some rocket shoes, and looked fast. One had a laser sword, a bionic arm, and some big muscles. And the third had a yellow beard, a mechanical shield, and a belly the size of a yacht.

“Um,” said Val, “I think we’re lost.”

The red-beared one laughed. “So the sorceress got you too, huh? I mean, teleportation magic isn’t perfect, but this is ridiculous!”

Sub-Zero, Igatona, Faetan, Maba, Zero, and X-Hunter landed in foggy forest. The fog was so thick, they couldn’t see their own hands in the front of their faces. They barely made out a muddy brown path, which lead even farther into the tangle of trees and plants.

Realizing that their was no other alternative, they set out.

Naar laughed at what was going on. The fools would soon die. The generals were already out there; the heroes couldn’t withstand their power.

Weiila: Man, that was short.
Galloway: “And so Weiila became a ki”
Galloway: Fine.

The Naar Saga part 23: Lost!

“Let me get this straight,” said Val. “You three are Vikings…”

“Yeah,” said the red-bearded one.

“And you were kidnapped by an evil alien overlord who plans to serve you for dinner.”

“That’s about the size of it,” the muscular one said. The fat one just stood in a corner and picked his nose.

“And you fell through a time machine, and are now trying to find out where the hell you guys are, right?”

“Uh…yeah,” said the fat one.

Val just stood there. “Well, guys, guess we should head out-”

She then turned…and saw the sign that read:

Your friends have been kidnapped, courtesy of Naar. Oh, and Vikings suck!

The red-bearded one rammed into the sign, smashing it into several pieces. The muscular one then tore it into tinier pieces. Finally, the fat one let out a HUGE fart on it, vaporizing all that was left.

Val backed away, slightly disgusted. “Just who the hell are you guys?”

The red-bearded one stepped forward. “I am Erik the Swift. I am the fastest runner and highest jumper in our village.”

The muscular one stepped forward. “I am Baleog the Fierce. My strength and accuracy know no equal.”

Finally, the fat one stepped forward. “I am Olaf the Stout. My shield can be used in many different ways.”

“Okay,” said Val, “I suggest we find a way out of here. My spear can protect us!” This met with the three vikings muttering in unison, “We’re doomed.” Fortunately, Val was too busy looking at her spear to notice their comment and dirty looks.

Naar put his coffee cup down. The big, green, ugly alien sitting across from him did likewise.

“And that’s why I think we should nuke Canada,” said the alien. “I mean, it’s not like it ever needed to exist to begin with; why not eradicate all life from it?”

“A fascinating idea,” replied Naar. “But, seriously, Tomator, I have a general ready to help take care of those pesky heroes. Will you be so kind as to let me eradicate those pesky vikings as well?”

Tomator laughed. “Of course, Naar. Go ahead and kill them off.”

The two laughed heavily and went into conversasion about how all evil radiated from a small piece of land in France.

(no funny stuff)

The Naar Saga part 24: The Eternal Battle continues

Chris landed with a thud onto the ground. When he came to, he saw that he was in some sort of wrestling arena; it was circular in shape, there were two different doorways leading to it, and a huge crowd was stacked into a bunch of stadium seats. Fortunately, the lights were all off, except for some spotlights, and he took cover behind a statue of a horned lion.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” said an announcer’s voice. “Are you ready to rumble!” The crowd let out an explosive YES!!!

The announcer continued. “The CKF is proud to present: THE MAIN EVENT!!!” Once again, the crowd exploded into cheers and shouts.

“In the left corner, the runner-up in last year’s championship, the bone-crusher, the rip-roaring tornado of doom himself, BLOODLOSS!”

The doors on one side opened up. At first, it looked like just an ordinary guy was coming out, but on closer examination, it turned out to be a cyborg! Chris barely held in a gasp; could this mean he was in the future?

“And the challanger, a new fighter, but one that’s tearing through the ranks like a hot knife through butter, let’s give it up for R.A.X.!”

Another door opened, and yet another cyborg came out. Chris couldn’t make either of them out very well from where he was, but he was certain that this was going to be a painful match.

Suddenly, a cage came crashing down. This was a caged match! Chris was now trapped inside with two cyborgs!

A buzzer went off, and the battle began. Bloodloss charged straight at R.A.X., but the other cyborg dodged and delivered a solid kick directly to the base of the neck. Bloodloss, however, grabbed the leg and slammed R.A.X. down.

A swarm of punchs exploded from Bloodloss’s arms, but R.A.X., having already moved out of the way, grabbed his opponent, lifted him over his head with one arm, and bodyslammed him into the ground. Cheers erupted from the stands; apparantly R.A.X. was the fan favorite.

The match continued like this for quite some time, with neither side gaining any favorable balance in the battle. Finally, it was brought to a sudden and graphic end. R.A.X. delivered an incredibly strong kick to Bloodloss’s chest, sending him flying back towards Chris. At first, it looked like he was simply going to knock the statue over or slam against the cage, but instead, he got impaled on the horn of the statue.

Blood splashed down onto Chris, who didn’t care much for this kind of bath. The crowd, however, loved it. Cheers were everywhere, as every single person enjoyed the spectacle of a man’s life being taken out by a single blow. The cage lifted, and R.A.X. exited the arena. Chris stayed hidden from everyone, even as the statue was carted off to be cleaned.

Where the hell was he, and when the hell was he?

“Alright,” said Galloway, “it’s getting late, so we should get some rest. We’ll divide up the rooms accordingly.”

Poke got stuck with Colin and Sensei, Star got stuck with Gemini, and Weiila got stuck with Kari and…Pooh!

Weiila: What? I’m with Pooh?

The Naar Saga part 25: The Eternal Champion

Chris stayed in the back, careful not to be seen by anyone as they went down the hall. He had no idea what was going on, but since this might be his only way of figuring out, he had to follow.

Besides, this R.A.X. guy was pretty good.

Naar climbed the top steps of the tower. The aura of good was getting stronger with every step he took, and yet there was a bit of neutrality in there as well. It was as if he was feeling a power that nobody had ever truly experienced.

This could only be the power of an Elder God.

Finally, he emerged onto the tower’s top floor. It was a square room, filled with only three objects: a statue of a man, a glowing altar, and a large shimmering orb. Four windows, each with either the shape of an Eagle, a Shark, a Tiger, or a Dragon, provided natural lighting on one side, with torches doing the rest on the other side.

Naar approached the altar, determined to destroy it before it’s master could learn what Naar had done. How he had prepared for Chris’s demise.

Unfortunately for him, he was a bit too late. A ball of light flashed into the room through one of the windows. When it touched down in the center, it took the form of what looked like a man, but was made out of pure energy. It wore what looked like a dress and a simple white shirt (the proper names escape me at the moment). It simply looked at Naar.

Suddenly, Yang order ninjas dashed into the room. Behind them were Vordaks and Helghasts. The form began to turn toward them, but reached a hand out towards Naar. The God of Evil suddenly found himself totally unable to move.

The ninjas immediately began to throw dirks, shurikens, and various other pointy objects at the form, but in the blink of an eye, he dodged every one of them. A Helghast busted through to face him head-on, but soon learned that it wasn’t a good attack plan. The form knocked the Helghast’s entire upper body off with one backhand.

The Vordaks soon charged forward simultaniously, as if to destroy the altar their master was after, but the form was too quickly. In a matter of mere nanoseconds, the skeletons were nothing more than stinking chunks of decaying flesh. The Yang ninjas then blew several whistles, and more Helghasts and Vordaks appeared. However, the ninjas were already dead by then, their bodies beaten beyond recognition.

Tiring of this, the form simply turned to his new attackers and raised his arms. The entire room was engulfed in a bright white light, and through it, the form and Naar could see the shadows of the Vordaks and Helghasts being torn and disintegrated into nothing.

Finally, the light vanished, and the form turned towards Naar. But, as if the power holding him was fading, Naar began to move, ever so slowly, toward the altar. The form, however, had had enough. He grabbed Naar, lifted him over his head, and threw him straight out of the tower. The evil god fell nearly eighty feet onto jagged rocks, but being immortal, he survived. Cursing the form, he teleported to heal once again.

The form sat by the altar, catching it’s breath.

“The other gods may be right,” he said. “Maybe I have lost too much of my power to continue to battle Naar. But, I must try. I must find my champions!”

With that, he left.

Chris, having been caught by the armies of security, was being held in the detention area of the arena when he heard what sounded like cheering from above. Security guards fastened his arms and legs to several metal clamps. He then felt himself rising. The ceiling opened up, revealing the arena!

He stopped just after leaving the detention area. The ground he was on raised slowly, until it was at 90 degrees. Chris looked around, trying to find out what the heck was going on. Then he got his terrifying answer.

R.A.X. entered the arena. The announcer shouted, “Since this loser thought he could stalk R.A.X., his promoter has decided that he will beat the life out of him!”

Chris struggle to get free. R.A.X. walked towards him and whispered, “This is nothing personal. I just have to keep my job.”

Just then, a ball of light entered the arena. The form appeared, stopping R.A.X. from beginning his attack.

“Yes,” said the form. “My first two champions are here! The fate of all mankind is bleak unless a great change takes place. You will help that change. I myself are the instrument of that change. I am the Eternal Champion.”

Nothing to see here…move along…

The Naar Saga part 26: One Night in the Bunker

Poke soon found that the room he, Colin and Sensei had been assigned only had two beds. It soon became clear that one would have to use the sleeping bag tucked away in the corner. Unfortunately, Colin’s bald head blinded Poke while Sensei’s ninja reflexes allowed him to mark that the two beds belonged to Colin and Sensei. Poke tried to use his Charizard, but then realized that Galloway had taken his Pokeballs and hidden them safely away.

After preparing his so-called “bed”, Poke fell asleep instantly. His two roommates, however, weren’t in a sleeping mood at the moment, and decided that the best way to tire themselves out was to talk on and on about how things were in the “good old days”. Poke thought about smothering them with his pillow, but there were two of them and one of him, so he wisely kept his mouth shut.

Starstorm and Gemini each claimed a bed, then fell asleep quickly. Starstorm’s cats, however, were another story. They decided that Gemini looked like the perfect target for their little nap; they didn’t quite realize that Gemini isn’t the most cat-loving person on Earth.

After a few were brushed off of Gemini, they began to whine to Starstorm. The kitty master then made his way over to Gemini. What happened next is unclear, but Gemini had a few scratches to prove that Star wasn’t happy.

Galloway slept peacefully. That is all we shall say about him.

Weiila opposed the idea of sharing a room with Pooh from the very moment Galloway mentioned it, but Kari thought the bumbling bear of very little brain was kinda cute, so he stayed.

Since the room, once again, only had two beds, it reduced to picking straws. Unfortunately, nobody had a short straw on them, so it went into more arguments. Finally, Weiila decided that since Kari forgot the short straw, she would sleep on the floor.

Everyone had just begun to fall asleep when the sound of heavy snoring awakened Weiila. At first, she thought it was only that stupid bear, Pooh, but when she looked around, she realized that the bear, having fallen out of bed during one of his Hephalumps and Woozles nightmares, was awake, she deduced that Kari was snoring.

But she didn’t seem like the snoring type. Then why was she doing it?

As the night passed into day, everyone got up from their hectic slumber and prepared to set out.

And this, my friends, is the most pointless chapter ever!

The Naar Saga part 27: Forgot about These Guys, didn’t Ya?

Sub-Zero, Igatona, Faetan, Maba, Zero, and X-Hunter continued down the long, foggy trail for hours on end. Finally, the fog began to part, and they could make out the outline of a quant little village.

Deciding that there wasn’t any harm in asking about where they were, they entered the town.

(About five minutes later)

Sub-Zero struggled against his ropes, but they kept him completely tied to the stake. The others weren’t having any luck escaping from their bonds, either.

One of the villagers walked forward, carrying a scroll. “You have all been charged with the crime of witchcraft! You are hearby sentenced to be burnt at the stake until you are nothing more than a pile of pure ash. Your ashes will then be burnt into even smaller ashes, and so on.”

“George,” said another villager, “you’re rambling again.”

The villager backed away. “Now, where’s that other warlock?”

A group of rather rough villagers brought out a young man, probably in his late-20’s. He wore a blue robe and a hood, but the big thing was his eyes: they were glowing bright green. Maybe this guy really was a warlock, after all…

He was tied to another nearby stake, and some of the other villagers began to try to lite a fire. Unfortunately, it was a windy day, so their attempts weren’t very successful.

“Since we have some time,” one villager said, “we will open up the floor to wild accusations.”

(about an hour later)

Now about a quarter of the entire village was at the stake. They finally got the fire going, but the wind blew it out again. They then put another batch of people onto the stake. Finally, the wind stopped.

They were just about to begin the burning when they saw a ball of light approaching them. It materialized into the Eternal Champion.

“Warlock!” someone screamed. “Burn him!”

They charged at the champion, but by then, he had untied everyone from the stake. When the other villagers reached him, he teleported everybody out of harm’s way.

Val tried to keep what slivers of sanity she had left intact, but she was losing it quickly, due to her viking companions. They went off, solving one absurb puzzle after another, all the while trying to find a way to escape.

“Man,” said Erik, “I can’t wait to get back. I feel the urge to discover a new continent or something.”

Naar did nothing for once.


The Naar Saga part 28: The First General

Val continued to follow the Lost Vikings down the many bizarre and unworldly places their long, neverending travel took them. Somehow, she was able to withstand their bad jokes, which is a miracle in itself.

“There!” shouted Olaf. “A door!”

“Of course it’s a door,” said Erik. “There’s always a door!”

Val bit her lip to keep from smacking them. They stepped through the door…

When they came to, they were lying in what looked like an ancient stone room. Val got up and rubbed her head. “Damn, I hate invisible holes.”

The other vikings got up and looked around in dismay.

“There’s no door here!” whined Olaf.

“The one we just went through is too high up. I can’t jump there!” said Erik.

“There aren’t any jewels! I can’t swing my way up!” bellowed Baleog.

Suddenly, a mechanical contraption came down. In it was the ugly green alien called Tomator.

“Ah, my little Vikings,” he said. “How nice of you to come. I always wanted to see how you would die!”

An elevator came slowly down. On it was a disgusting freak of nature. Its skin was bloodied and rotting. A gigantic eye was growing out of one shoulder. Its hands were long, sharp claws, dripping with blood. The mouth was sewn shut; the face showed that this was probably always true.

“Naar gave this to me,” said Tomator. “He says it is called a ‘Tyrant’, whatever that means. So, how would you like to die, fast or slow?”

Baleog, however, had already pulled out his Fire Arrows and shot them straight into the Tyrant. It fell to one knee.

“Bah!” said Baleog. “What a worthless creature!” Unfortunately for him, the monster decided to get up at that very moment. The poor ugly viking soon found himself flying back after one blow from his enemy.

“Hah hah hah! I have you now, vikings!” said Tomator.

Val, however, had had enough. “Die, you son-of-a-bitch!” she screamed, conveying her very soul into her words. She pulled Gungnir back and threw it straight at Tyrant. The deadly spear ripped straight through the monster’s heart, issuing a lot of blood.

Screaming in agony, the monster began to move backwards. It pull Gungnir out just as it fell into another pit. Val started a little victory dance, but Tomator’s words soon ended the celebration:

“Naar told me about Tyrant. It does not die easily. It will come back, and next time, the outcome will be far different!” With that, Tomator rode off.

Galloway continued to work on the bridge of the Flying Bunker while everyone else attempted to make breakfast on a moving vehicle that didn’t have all the Shock Absorbers in place, especially over those turbulent areas.

Suddenly, Weiila rushed to the bridge. “Have you seen Kari?” Galloway shook his head, and she left in a panic. With no other option, he followed.

They finally realized that the only place she would be was the room she slept in. When they kicked the door open, awakening Pooh, they found only an empty sleeping bag and a small note:

I took care of the girl while she was sleeping. She’s now in some very hot place. Oh, and I love the way you decorated inside. It’s amazing what you can do with a modest budget. -Naar


The Naar Saga part 29: The Cowboy

Kari woke to find herself lying face-down in a bunch of sand. When she dug her head out, all she could see for miles was a massive desert wasteland. A few cacti were here and there, but even they were close to drying out. In fact, the only shade to be found anywhere was beneath a few cliffs.

With no other option, she ran straight for them. However, the wind began to pick up sharply after that, causing her to stumble around blindly after a short while. Finally, she collapsed onto the sand yet again.

When she finally got her head moving again, all she saw before blacking out completely was a blunt black object coming down towards her.

Kari once again opened her eyes. Now she was in a small, damp cavern. There were a few beds on one side, a picture hanging from one wall, a few chairs, and a crate that, judging from the bottles and cards on it, served as a table. Besides for those few decorations, as well as the single lantern that kept the place lit, this was the dreariest place in the universe.

Suddenly, a side wall was pushed open. Five men entered. They were dressed in a rather wierd get-up; loose, dirt-stained pants and dirty, torn shirts that were probably once white. They looked at each other, then at Kari.

“Well,” said one of them, “who wants to fuck the kid first?”

“God damn it!” said another. “Can you believe how long it’s been since we last fucked somebody?”

Suddenly, the cavern wall, which had closed behind them, came crashing down. In strode another man. He was considerably taller and more muscular than the other five. He wore a cowboy hat, some leather boots, some leather clothing, a rope for a belt, and a long overcoat.

“I saw you take the kid,” he said. “It was just a matter of following you guys here. What kind of monsters try to have sex with a kid?”

Of course, the other five guys weren’t listening. They simply pulled out some knives, shovels, and pickaxes. “Okay, bastard!” said one of them. “Let’s see you handle this!”

One of them rushed forward, a shovel raised in his arms, but the cowboy was ready for him. A solid punch straight to the gut sent the foolish man slumping to the ground, paralyzed by complete pain.

Two of them followed, armed with a pickaxe and a knife. The cowboy took one down with a kick to the head, then immediately picked the other one up over his head and tossed him straight into the cavern wall. The fourth one threw a knife straight at his enemy, but he dodged and threw some knives of his own, pinning the man to the ground.

The final one, realizing that close-combat was not a good idea, pulled out a simple six-shot revolver and fired. The cowboy, however, dodged every round. The man tried to hastily reload, but the cowboy pulled off the his rope belt and, using it like a whip, took the gun from his enemy. He then jump-kicked him straight in the mouth, ending the struggle.

Kari just sat there, completely shocked. The cowboy walked towards her, but she passed out from shock just before he reached her.

Naar looked onward in displeasure. His third general was ready for the third group of fools, but his second was not. Where the hell was he?

Meliah walked into the room her brother was being kept in. He was still in the armor, and still unconcious. She walked towards him, a smile on her face.

“Be well,” she whispered. “Our baby will need you.”


The Naar Saga part 30: Back to the Dungeon

Galloway continued to fly the Bunker around, looking for any clues that could lead them to what happened to Kari, Eihra, and the rest of their missing friends. Of course, it didn’t dawn on him that clues wouldn’t really be found in the air, but that didn’t stop him.

Suddenly, the entire Bunker began to shake like crazy. Galloway quickly checked the status menu and learned the worst; somehow, several of the engines had suddenly gone off-line, and nothing could reactivate them. The Flying Bunker was now the Falling Bunker!!!

Galloway quickly pressed the PANIC button. The back room was filled with the sound of alarms and a computer voice shouting “PANIC!!!”. Everyone began to run around like crazy, except for Pooh, who was too absorbed in his Honey Pots to notice the total state of terror surrounding him.

Galloway continued to pilot the Bunker to the best of his ability, looking for the best place to plow the vehicle into. Finally, after finding a nice, clear area, he shoved the controls down. The Bunker smashed into the Earth with a loud crash, continued movement for several miles, then finally stopped.

Galloway checked on everyone and, finding that they were alright, exited the Bunker. It wasn’t completely destroyed, but he had to learn what caused the engine failure. Until he found out what happened, the vehicle wouldn’t be safe to fly.

Then he noticed something. He had landed right next to the dungeon where they had found the Bunker to begin with! Somehow, he realized that this was where their friends were being kept. Without even thinking twice, he tossed everyone some guns, ammo, and various other gear. They then descended into the dark, dark dungeon.

After walking through the usual stuff, they finally got to the same area that had collapsed. Strangely, they found the ground to be repaired, and the book gone. After checking around, they entered.

However, a trap door opened up underneath Galloway, sending him falling into the darkness. The others looked for a way down, but the door promptly closed, keeping them from reaching him.

From within the trap door, a figure laughed.


The Naar Saga part 31: Battle with General 2

Sub-Zero, Igatona, Faetan, and the mysterious cloaked guy found themselves back in the forest; however, a good portion of their troop was strangely missing. At least they weren’t being turned into BBQs!

The cloaked man wiped himself off. “I thank you for your help,” he said in a voice that would make your skin crawl, “but there is much for me to do. I have some research stuff to write, you know.”

Sub-Zero justed stared at him blankly. “You almost got burnt to a crisp out there, and you’re worrying about writing stuff?”

The man laughed. “Simpleton,” he said, his voice not disguising his distaste for the ninja at all. “Just before my capture, I had discovered a method to creating an endless amount of energy. Also, unlike wood burning, this would create no environmental side-effects. It is also incredibly cheap. I was just about to finish identifying it when you guys showed up.”

Igatona didn’t care, Sub-Zero was still pissed, and Faetan kept muttering about fire. The man turned away. “Farewell, then!” he said. He then began down the trail, but turned back immediately.

“Say,” he asked, “does anyone know where we are?”

Galloway collected his senses from the fall. He found that his gun was completely broken, but the Sommerswerd was undamaged. The area he was in was a huge, prison-like area, with stone walls, a bunch of rusting prison cells, and various skeletons.

Suddenly, a sinister laugh echoed throughout the room. Galloway saw a lone figure walking down a long hallway in his direction. It was a man, wearing a black brestplate, leather pants, and a black trenchcoat. At his side was a sheathed sword, which was in a scabbard encrested with dark jewels. The man himself was tall, with searing black eyes and brown hair that came down in a small ponytail in the back.

The man’s laughed continued until he was a few feet away from Galloway, by which point the red-haired hero was at his feet. The man looked at him with sheer contempt.

“Who the hell are you?” said Galloway.

The man just smiled at him. “Let’s just say that I’m a ghost, coming back to haunt you and your dear friend.”

“Oh, come on!” screamed Galloway. “Can’t you do better than Resident Evil if you’re going to steal your opening lines?”

The man was now SERIOUSLY pissed. “You’ll pay for that mistake dearly.” With that, he delivered a strong blow to Galloway’s head, sending the hero flying straight into a wall.

“Did you really think you were any match for me?” sneered the man. “Even when we last fought, I crushed you easily. You only won because of my treacherous offspring and a dish rag. But now, things will be different. You have to face my TRUE power!”

Galloway reached for the Sommerswerd, but the man let out another laugh. “I know about your sword, fool. It can only use its true power in areas of light, and this place doesn’t have enough power to feed it! My sword, on the other hand, gains its power from the darkness! I have the upper hand!”

Unfortunately, he forgot that he shouldn’t use a long speech. Galloway slammed him with a jumpkick to the face, followed by a slice to the hand. However, the combined attacks were mere scratches to his enemy, who knocked Galloway down with one blow to the back.

“Face it,” he said, “you were never a match for me. You should be thankful that your life will end quickly!” With that, he jumped straight into the air, readying his foot to slam into Galloway’s neck. Galloway, sadly, was still paralyzed from the previous attack, and couldn’t do anything.

However, fate was kind to him today. One of the trademark portals opened right next to his enemy. Lone Wolf himself jumped through, sending the man flying sideways.

“Run!” screamed Lone Wolf as a platform leading back up appeared out of nowhere. “I’ll hold him off!”

“You fool!” shouted the man. He drew his sword, which was made completely from black steel. A black fire erupted along the length of it. “You cannot hope to win!”

Lone Wolf responded by drawing Skarn-skae. “We shall see who emerges victorious!”

As Galloway jumped onto the platform, the two warriors went at it. The sound of swords clanging filled the area as Galloway rode to safety.

The trap door opened. Galloway crawled out, much to the surprise of his friends, who were busy playing Ping-Pong. After a few minutes, Lone Wolf himself climbed out, cut and bruised in more places than you could count.

“He escaped,” said the exhausted Supreme Kai Master. “However, he will be back. I know it.”

“Who?” said Weiila, as she treated Lone Wolf and Galloway.

Galloway sighed heavily. “Mox.”

And that’s all for now, folks!

The Naar Saga part 32: Jailbreak
Wil regained conciousness to find himself inside a big, dark, empty jail cell. After slowly rising to his feet, he looked around desperately for his equipment, but to his dismay, it was twenty feet away from the outside of the cell, taunting him.

Cursing, he rose his hands and used the “Fetch” spell, but it didn’t work; the bars were magically enchanted, as to block any attempts to cast spells on them. He was stuck in the cell, whether he liked it or not.

Just then, he saw that he had a cell mate: the hero.

The hero rose to his feet, barely fazed by whatever had knocked them out. “Let me guess,” he said, “we’re trapped in a jail cell.” Wil’s reply was a simple nod.

“All right,” said the hero. “STAND CLEAR!” He grabbed Wil, picked him up over his head, and tossed him into the corner. Fortunately, it didn’t kill the guy.

The hero then backed up slowly, until he was all the way across from the door. Then, with a quick shout, he charged head-on into the door. The force of the impact broke the whole row of bars into bite-size pieces.

Several Vordaks dashed into the area, but the shards ripped through nearly all of them, tearing them apart. And the few that survived where incinerated by Wil’s Firaga spell. Rather than wait for another barrage, they grabbed their equipment and jumped out a window.

They fell twenty feet into a pool of water occupied by flesh-eating pirahnas, but somehow, they made it through without so much as a scratch.

The only thing was, they weren’t in any familiar place. The hero thought that they had been taken to North Dakota, but instead, the place was full of vibrant trees and wildlife. Suddenly, the place they just escaped from dissapeared entirely, leaving nothing more than a vast ocean in its wake.

They certainly weren’t in Kansas anymore.


the witch Hagatha is looking into her crystal ball
Hagatha: Father?
Father: Yes, sister Hagatha. I have a request for you.
Hagatha: I’m trying to finish the last one you gave me, but all right.
Father: Two foolish heroes have recently entered our realm, on a quest of sorts.
Hagatha: What kind of quest?
Father: The kind that involves sticking your neck out to save a world from destruction.
Hagatha: And what have I to do with their necks?
Father: Quite simple, my dear- sever them!

Now THIS is the saga that never ends!
Hagatha: Can you guess what game I’m from?

The Naar Saga part 33: The King’s Quest

“Okay,” said Wil, as he admired the large amounts of palm trees and coconuts that laid across the beach. “We’re in some far-off place, with no idea where we are, how we got here, or why we even came here. Any ideas on what to do?”

The hero adjusted his armor slightly. “No idea,” he said as he slipped his helmet on, “but we just can’t stand around. We have to learn as much as we can about this place. After all, it probably wasn’t blind luck that got us here.”

Wil just looked at the hero. He began to plot many ways to kill the big guy off, but dismissed the ideas for the time being. “Well,” he said, motioning to a nearby forest, “why don’t we start there?”

The forest was barely populated at all. Besides for the huge number of trees, nothing was at all unusual. Oh, and a few squirrels were getting eating by groundhogs, but that’s pretty natural in old forests like this.

Suddenly, something small and shiny caught Wil’s eye. It was a few gold coins hidden under a tree. With no other ideas, he decided to investigate closer, as well as fill his empty money pouch.

But just as he stepped within an inch of the coins, the ground shot up from under him. He found himself being suspended from a rope. The coins were a damn trap! The hero began to laugh momentarily, but when he came to help, he felt a knife poke into his side.

“Woohoo!” said a high-pitched voice from behind. “What a haul!” From behind the hero emerged a dwarf, with a long white beard, blue clothing, and a pointy knife. He rose the weapon in his hands, looking in the direction of Wil.

“I feel like a little target practice today.”

Unfortunately, he forgot that the hero was nearby. He simply punted the dwarf back several miles into the forest. He then cut Wil from the rope and searched the ground.

Just then, another man entered the area. He was tall, like the hero, but not as muscular. He wore a red tunic, blue leggings, and a blue cap with a feather in it. Sheathed at his side was a brilliant sword with a small, clear crystal in the hilt.

“Excuse me,” he said, in a very polite manner, “but I’m a bit lost. Can you direct me to the town.”

Wil and the hero looked at each other, then turned back to the man. “We’re lost ourselves,” said Wil. “Who are you?”

The man didn’t respond, but bent over to pick up the gold. When he grabbed it, though, it turned out to be nothing more than shiny lead. “Why, this is fool’s gold!”

The hero was now laughing harder than ever, while Wil felt even more embarrased. “But,” said Wil, gathering the nerve to speak, “who are you?”

The man stopped laughing. “I am King Graham, of Daventry.”

Weiila: sighs heavily God, I’m glad that I’m not related to him. The Naar Saga part 34: The Plot Thickens…

Kari slowly regained conciousness. She was still lying down, but this time, she was on a rather soft bed. The room was small and sparsely decorated, with unpainted wooden walls, a small table in the center, another bed to the side, and a small desk between the two beds with an oil lamp on it.

There was no sign of her mystery rescuer. Then she heard what sounded like a fight coming from downstairs. Followed by someone being punched through a window. Which was then followed by some crazy music and a whole punch of punches and kicks. Minutes later, everything was silent.

A loud voice boomed, “Okay, Saturday Night Drunken Brawl is over. Get to your homes, wash up, and please don’t drink and ride.”

Suddenly, the door to the room opened with a crash. The man from before walked in, drunker than anyone could possibly imagine. He swayed over to the other bed, jumped in, and just fell asleep.

Kari was slightly repulsed by the man, but she realized that he HAD saved her, and that was all that mattered right now. Besides, she just needed to figure out where she was, and get the heck out of here.

Val and the Lost Vikings continued their trek, until they fell down yet another deep pit.

“Damn!” said Erik. “How many pits are there in this world?!”

“Erik, shut up,” said Val. “Just keep an eye out for Tomator and Tyrant.”

Like always, Tyrant jumped into the pit just as the words left her mouth…

Xavier and the others continued down the muddy path to who-knows-where…that is, until they fell into a deep cavern…

Galloway and the others prepared to head deeper into Naar’s dungeon, but Lone Wolf intervened. “Galloway, Mox will be back, and unless you get some actual training, you’ll be killed. We’re returning to the Heaven World; just you, me, and Pooh.”

He then turned to Colin. “I want you to go gather your people. There will soon be a massive battle; we’ll need all the help we can get.”

With that, Lone Wolf, Galloway, and Pooh dissapeared. Colin, meanwhile, exited the dungeon, took out his cell, and called his second-in-command.

Falchin began to stir. The first thing he heard when he awoke was his sister saying, “We have much to talk about.”

Galloway: Calm! casts calm on Weiila The Naar Saga part 35: The Training Begins…

“Okay,” said Galloway, as he followed Lone Wolf into the Kai Monastery, “what the hell’s this training about again? All I need is some damn sunlight and-”

“Don’t be foolish,” responded Lone Wolf. “Do you think Naar would leave his weakness lying out in the open? He would never allow you to get near the Sommerswerd’s source of power. Furthermore, the sword Mox used was no ordinary weapon. It was created by Naar himself, and is therefore infused with his dark power. You cannot hope to win unless you throw aside your reliance on the Sommerswerd.”

“So,” said Galloway, “this isn’t going to be all about ‘Kai Disciplines’, right?”

Lone Wolf sighed. “The whole regiment isn’t known to you at this time. All I know is that it’s completely different from what I’ve done before. Just get ready for a lot of blood, sweat and tears.”

“And what about Pooh?” The little bear was still absorbed in his honey pots.

“He’ll recieve his own training,” said Lone Wolf, a smile on his face.

Sub-Zero got the rest of his group up and looked around their new surroundings. It was a dimly-lit cavern, complete with an iron mesh wall in the middle of the far, circular room.

A horrific screech filled the area. It sounded almost…female…

Val raised the Gungnir, causing Tyrant to fall on it. However, it wasn’t done yet. It simply jerked the spear free from Val’s grip, pulled it out of its skin, then smashed it to pieces before vaporizing it.

Now things were REALLY bad…

Naar just sat there, playing solitaire. Nothing else to do, anyway.


The Naar Saga part 36: The Door of Destiny

The hero, Graham, and Wil continued their long march throughout the forest. There wasn’t much around, really; an evil wizard that randomly appeared, that pesky little dwarf, and a brief meeting with characters that were pulled out of a bunch of fairy tales.
Finally, they came across an old, rotting, wooden bridge. Since bridges always lead in the right direction, they decided to make their way to the other side. Fortunately, nobody fell over into the very deep chasm below.
Finally, they reached what looked like a dead-end. A long cliffside towered over them, making it impossible to continue. However, some rocks were arranged into a strange pattern, seemingly indicating a path.
With Graham in the lead, they followed them to a strange rock slab. When they got close, the slab changed into a face!
With nothing better to try, Graham said, “Um, excuse me, but dost though know where I can reach a quartz tower, on a small island, where a beautiful woman is being held?” Of course, this was plain stupid; even if it had a face, a rock couldn’t talk…
“I am the Door of Destiny.” Then again, maybe it can.
Weiila: HOLD IT!
<br>Galloway: What?
<br>Galloway: Well, the last one was gunned down in Vegas, so I got the narrator from QFG4.
<br>Narrator: Can we please continue?
<br>Weiila: sigh Fine.
(we now return to our regularly scheduled program)
The door continued to speak. “I am sought by many, found by few, and opened by none, for only once can I be opened. And in order for me to open, the person must bring to me something.”
“Yes!” shouted Graham, excited that his adventure might be over so quickly. “Anything!”
“Bring me the Stones of Nature.”
Wil was dumbfounded. “The Stones of Nature?”
The door rumbled briefly, then continued. “The Stones of Nature are the cycle of life. The Water Gem represents birth, the Air Gem represents growth, and the Earth Gem represents death. You must find these stones and bring them here.”
“Can you at least give us a hint?” asked the hero.
The door rumbled again:
“The Water Gem, in water deep,
<br>Although not the kind that you can drink.
<br>The Air Gem, in the sky,
<br>Can only be reached if you can fly.
<br>The Earth Gem, in castle deep,
<br>Across the river of death, it sleeps.”
“Is that satisfactory?” asked the door. Graham nodded, and the door changed again. This time, it was a flat stone slab with three deep holes.
Now how did that poem go again?
<br>Weiila: This new narrator sucks.
<br>Galloway: Uh, I wouldn’t say that…
<br>Narrator: Suddenly, a Necrotaur attacks Weiila!
<br>a Necrotaur attacks Weiila
<br>Weiila: AAAAAAAAAAHHH runs away
<br>Galloway: sighs, then chases after the Necrotaur

Normalcy has been restored. Fics will gain work back again.

Okay, I decided to do a Heaven Tournament in an upcoming chapter or two (consider it a part of my training). Now, I want to see if anyone wants to place their bets on the winner. Here’s the list of participants:

Number 1: Odin
Number 2: Lone Wolf
Number 3: Lenneth
Number 4: Hercules
Number 5: Jehova
Number 6: Winnie-the-Pooh
Number 7: Galloway
Number 8: A Big Can of Baked Beans

Okay, place your bets!

I vote for the beans, knowing your humor, Galloway :slight_smile: And if Pooh wins I’m going to commit seppuku.


The Naar Saga part 37: The Third General
By d_Galloway

The small group finally reached the inside of the dark cave. Casting their eyes around, they saw nothing but a round room with some rusty metal bars in the center. Then they saw that the entrance had just suddenly dissapeared.

Then they saw something begin to rise slowly out of the ground. It looked like a cross between a bat, an alien, and a skinned gargoyle. Its skin was a mixture of a stained yellow and blood-red, its eyes deep and fixating. The entire room seemed to be flooded with a sudden burst of evil.

No wonder Naar had chosen this for his third general.

The creature let out a long screech, and several Pyramid Heads suddenly appeared out of the darkness. They marched forward, their blood-stained, rusted spears raised, ready to skewer the fools that dared to challange their master: Samael.

Everyone began to fight against the Pyramid Heads, but it was a useless gesture; they were too powerful and too well-organized to even be fazed by such a desperate attack. Samael just hovered nearby, cackling with glee.

Then it happened. Xavier jumped over the head of a pyramid head and approached the dark angel. However, Samael was prepared. A lightning bolt suddenly blasted from the angel, sending Xavier flying back into the battle.

However, it wasn’t the end. The alchemist made his way back. When Samael tried to attack again, Xavier dodged and countered with an attack of his own. The angel was unfazed.

Things continued like this for some time. Then Xavier came up with a plan. Raising his staff, he dodged another lightning bolt and let a ball of energy fly loose.

When it hit Samael, the god was turned into a worm, which Xavier quickly stepped on.

Without their master’s dark powers, the Pyramid Heads exploded, showering blood and gore onto everyone and everything. The battle was won (although not in the cleanest of fashions).

Boy, that was quick!

Great job Galloway, it’s still going as strong as ever :slight_smile:

I’ll update soon. Okay?

Sure, take all the time you need, Gallo.

Offhand… when are you gonna change your sig/avvy? :slight_smile:

The Naar Saga part 38: The Corniest Fight Ever
By d_Galloway

About three minutes into training, a random messenger appeared in the Courtyard, a small message in hand. He handed it to Lone Wolf, then promptly walked out the back.

Lone Wolf read the message, then turned to Galloway. “Apparantly, we’ve been invited to participate in the Heavens Combat Tournament. Of course, this WOULD be good training for you, so…”

But Galloway, with Pooh tucked under his arm, was already running out of the courtyard. If DBZ taught him anything, it was that getting beat up in a tournament is an excellent way to increase Battle Power.

The tournament was actually being held inside the Monestary itself, so Galloway and Pooh had to make their way BACK there after running practically all the way to the other side of the heavens. Every single God, Goddess, and Immortal Being that had anything to do with battle was there. And then, there were Galloway and Pooh, who had no immortality in them (except for Pooh’s immortal cuteness).


Lone Wolf beat Odin with ease, while Hercules was crushed by Lenneth. Jehova was supposed to fight Pooh, but had to perform an emergency miracle, and Pooh won by default.

Finally, Galloway emerged to battle his opponent: a can of baked beans, which was apparantly the God of Flatulence. Strangely, everyone cowered before the beans.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!” laughed the beans, in a squeky tone, “my foolish opponent will soon be gone!” With that, the top of the can opened.

“SPECIAL BEAN CANNON!” shouted the can. A flush of brown liquid squirted from on top. Galloway just barely dodged the deadly blast, which destroyed the ground he was standing on barely seconds before.

The can jumped forward and said, “BEAN CHARGE!” The whole can’s weight pushed Galloway to the ground and back a few feet. It then prepared for another Special Bean Cannon, but soon learned of a small problem: Galloway was already behind it.

Soon, the can was sailing into the air. Galloway flew up and delivered a final strong kick, which sent the can flying out of the Monestary. Cheers erupted from everywhere as the can was defeated, for nobody dared to face the can before.

And so, the tournament continued…

Galloway: At last!
Weiila: What?
Galloway: I’ve found the perfect pick-up line! No woman can resist this!
Weiila: Yeah, right.
Galloway: ahem Hi, I’m Mel Gibson. Did you see a dingo-dog come by wearing my t-shirt.
Weiila: Kiss me, you wild savage!

laughs Oh man, that was a great chapter, Galloway.

Now excuse me while I tell Kerr to play “hunt the rat” with Magus for messing with my tea to make me weak for pickup lines.

The Naar Saga part 39: Sibling Love
By d_Galloway

Falchin finally awoke. He could once again feel the heavy black armor against his skin, his eternal curse continuing to weigh down on him. He guessed that it had been at least a few days since Mox knocked him unconcious, but he had no way to be sure.

The sound of footsteps caught his attention. He turned to see his sister, Meliah, approaching him. Her pregnancy was showing quite heavily. Falchin, however, didn’t care much for that; all he wanted to know was what had happened.

“Dear brother,” said Meliah, “I trust that you’ve found that your wounds are healing?”

“Meliah,” said Falchin, “when the hell did you learn how to speak like that? The last I remembered, you were so full of angst that nobody wanted to even get close to you, even me!”

“Well,” said Meliah, calmly, “having a baby changes a lot of things, now doesn’t it? But, why are you wearing father’s armor?”

Falchin explained about what had happened when the Black Pentagram was destroyed. Meliah just listened intently, especially since she was still fairly mellowed-out from everything.

“So,” concluded Falchin, “I guess that’s it.”

Meliah sighed heavily. “Brother, there is something I have to tell you. It’s not going to be easy to accept or even understand, but you must try.”

Falchin continued his typical coolness. “Shoot.”

Meliah turned away slightly, her eyes tearing up. “The child…is yours.”

Falchin was dumbfounded, then confused, then tired, then confused again. “What kind of fucking crap is this, Meliah?! That kid can’t be mine!”

“Father was responsible for it, I think,” she said. “A few days before Galloway and his friends showed up, I was in my room, drinking fruit punch and cussing at the shadows on the wall. Then one of them grabbed me and dragged me towards your room. I feel unconcious shortly afterwards. When I awoke, I was naked and cold in the middle of my room.”

Falchin was back to dumbfounded. “DAMN YOU, FATHER! I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!”

Naar sat and thought about many things. But most of all, he needed another attack plan. Then it came to him.

His army would begin their stand with the Land of Balding Men soon, but Mox had duties elsewhere. Specifically, it was dealing with Galloway and his group. And he knew how to deal with those ninjas, as well…

Nothing to see in this neck of the woods.

punches Mox all the way through next week with the battle cry of Women’s rights You sick bastard!

massages knuckles Well, that was just in case, considering the plot tends to twist… good work, Gallo, love the “cussing at the shadows” :slight_smile: