Your wish is granted. However, it turns out you found the chick online and they turned out not to really be chicks…
I wish for this wish to be corrupted.
Granted. But since you wished something to happen to a wish, you tie yourself into a paradox in time and are stuck into the same day forever. When you wake up you won’t be in tomorrow, but rather in today again.
I wanna be a ballerina!
Granted, but you’re Patrick Swaze and you can’t sing. Oh, and you have AIDS.
I wish I had a Banana Gundam.
The banana gundam malfunctions, crushing you in it’s bananalicious-delicious weight. What a way to go 
I wish for 3 penises.<!-- XD -->
You get them, but they’re all as small as your current one.
I wish for a car.
Granted, you have three penises stuck in your rectum now.
edit: damm you again, Cless. You get a car, but it’s Barbie’s car.
I wish I was the most intelligent person of the whole world.
Sadly, your head expands too quickly, and you die of the severe pressure build-up inside your skull, causing your head to explode like a piñata.
I wish for $1million.
Granted, but then the japanese invade and american currency is useless.
I wish Texas exploded.
Granted. Texas explodes, sending its excrement all over the planet. The planet is covered in a ‘winter of crap’ as a result.
I wish to be the most powerful being in existance.
<img src=“http://www.rpgclassics.com/subsites/twistedrpg/images/hero/rirse.gif”> Your wish is granted, but you soon are forced to fight a insane robot, a fat blob who likes to eat choclate, a freakish dragon, some mutant who named after a infant, a mohawk white guy, some green alien who named after a instument, and a pink alien who name rythems with a fridgator.
I wish that giant fish in a bear costume would attack Japan.
Granted. But people hate you. Despite random acts proving your power, people look down on you as a whiny-ass bitch.
Edit: Damn it. Rirse got here first.
I wish that whenever I buy something I just reach into my pocket and i’ll always have enough money to pay for it.
Granted, but every item you buy will turn out be be a bootleg when you take it home.
I wish that no woman could ever turn me down.
Edit: Granted. You now attract grandmas from the world over.
I wish I would know the right course of action to take whenever I’m presented with a problem/decision.
Your wish is granted! You now know the <i>right</i>'s course of action for any problem or decision, meaning you now make all your decisions from an extremely conservative point of view! WHAHAHA.
I wish i was the coolest guy ever.
Granted, what a shame everyone’s version of cool is different. Welcome to life as a mutated freak.
I wish the Simpsons would end already.
<img src=“http://www.rpgclassics.com/subsites/twistedrpg/images/hero/rirse.gif”> Wish granted, but soon a new show based off the character Poochie appears, making people wish Simpson was back on. Your wish is reversed and you are turned into a pile of leaky flesh.
Since nobody replied to my previous wish, I will post it again. I wish a giant fish in a bear costume would attack Japan.
[STRIKE]Granted, but Bob Barker rapes you and you get AIDS and terrorists kill you via savage sodomy with a plunger and you bleed to death.[/STRIKE]
Granted, but Japan just happens to have anti-giant fish in a bear costume forcefields and it’s forced to go to South America and eats Kor.
I wish I could shoot people with my thumb.
Your wish is my command… you can shoot people with your thumb… only your thumb acts as an actual gun, meaning that you feel the bullet ripping out of your skin the first time, causing you to bleed profusely on the ground- and every subsequent time it will feel like fucking burning.
I wish that I was the lead singer of a fucking awesome and famous heavy metal band.
Your band is super awesome. So awesome that it brings the dead back to life. So now your records are broadcast around the world by super zombies so they can build an army of regular zombies and now you have to live in a desert with your band and ride around in a car that has spikes all over it for some reason.
I wish I had a time machine.
Granted, but all it does is produce copies of Time magazine. Sucks for you.
I wish I had a non-Time magazine time machine.