The Monkey Paw Game

The way this game works is someone posts a wish, the next person to post has to twist the wish into a terrible monkey paw style version of the original wish, and then posts their wish for the next person.
Edit: Oh yeah, and don’t post in between every other post, that’s lame. :stuck_out_tongue: <—Spaz and Pierson, this means you :stuck_out_tongue:
Double Edit: If you’re not familiar with the story of the monkey paw then I suppose you could go here:

I wish I had a job.

Your wish is granted as you are now the excavator of cursed Indian burial grounds. They were cannibals and were firm believers in vengeance if their eternal resting places were disturbed.

I wish I had a Turkey Sandwich.

Your wish is granted as you now have a turkey sandwich, on your favorite kind of bread with all your favorite things in it… but… the turkey is a little dry.

I wish I had lots of money, so that I wouldn’t need a job.

You get your money from sueing a company for severying several limbs and burning all your hair off, and your face flesh just melts off, leaving a visible skull and you have hideous scars all over your body, in some kind of accident.

Your wish is granted you have lots of money, but it is all in small denomination coins and is about to be dropped form a mile above your head.

arrgh charle got trhere first, and didnt leave a wish.

I wish for immortality.

Granted in the fact you will live forever knowing you are imprisoned on a desert planet with nothing edible or drinkable with no hopes of escape.

I wish to be ruler of the world :smiley:

Everyone in the world will die of a mystery illness, leaving you to rule over it alone forever.

I wish I could freely travel the world.

Sadly, you’ll die the next day, but as a reward,you’ll be able to visit the world all you like for 24 hours.

I wish I was a tiger.

Granted, but you’re a stuffed Tiger, that only a little kid thinks is real!

I wish I had a better computer.

Granted, but forest imps come and steal it while you’re sleeping and turn it into a giant battle robot and attack Tokyo. Then Godzilla fights it but loses but then Steven Segal beats it ans he sucks.;_;

I wish all concepts were pink.

Granted, but now you can’t think of anything that doesn’t involve the pop singer Pink.

I wish I had some tea.

The paw grants your wish. It pours a gallon of tea down your head. You then wonder where all this tea came from, and the recipient falls on your head, knocking you out cold. Then, a perverted old man rapes you.

I wish for Bud Selig to die a horrible horrible death.

Bud Selig dies of HIV after raping you. You now have AIDS. :stuck_out_tongue:

I wish for the port of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Granted. However, since there is no such thing as an end to a rainbow, you are transported to a realm of nonexistance with the nonexistant pot of gold, for all of eternity.

I wish Infonick would get drunk and post in teh forum again.

Granted, but it’s your mother he posts about

I wish people didn’t post cop out answers like “You die and then someone rapes you”

Your wish is granted, because RPGC is overwhelmed by DoS attacks and goes down forever.

Thanks for ruining the game, <b>Pierson</b>!!!

I wish Pierson had put a wish at the end of his post so that I could brutally pervert it for him.

You wish is granted as Pierson edits his post, making the electronic signials in his computer send out a frequency attuned to that of an alien ship millions of light years away, and as that signal reaches the aliens they have already discovered a way to time travel, and they travel back in time in order to wage war on Earth because that subtle signal sent out by Pierson’s computer which was editting a post on the RPGClassics Agora was, in the aliens’ language, an invitation to war. Millions die as alien lasers rake present-time Earth leaving the survivors confused, helpless and hopeless amid the ruins of an once-glorious and hard-achieved piece of civilizational and technological advancement. You are among the survivors and learn by chance from a piece of information slipped by an alien soldier that it was you who caused this catastrophe, and as you and the survivors of Earth scurry to desolate places in order to avoid the alien invaders, you get a rare alien disease and die a slow, lonely and painful death, alone with the secret of your unwillful destruction of your planet and all its people, for you may find no one who will sympathize with you.

I wish I had some ice cream.

edit: damm you cless.

You get your ice-ream, but just as you eat you discover that you are allergic to whatever it’s flavor is. You suffer an anaphilatic shock and slowly die.

Let’s see… I wish I were a lesbian so I could get chicks.