Stress

The Core RPGC Main Forum
1

Be forewarned: This is a depiction of a sad day in my life and has to do with relationship problems. If you don’t care or are just going to leave snide remarks, please refrain from scrolling any lower. Thank you.

…

So lately things have been on a up and down rollercoaster for me. I just moved into a new apartment with my girlfriend today and were arguing again. She seems to have two personalities that I’ve come to know and it truly drives me insane. On one side, she is the sweetest, most caring, and thoughtfull girlfriend anyone could ask for. But then theres the manic evil bitch side that comes around often unprovoked. Today is the first day for us in the new apartment, as I said above, and she came home from work in a relitavely good mood. Because she had to go to work, I had aquired the aid of my friend Ryan to help me lift all of our crap (80% of it is hers). When I was talking to her this evening before she went to bed, I asked her what she thought about taking Ryan out to dinner to thank him this Sunday. To which she responded, “Oh, about that… I’m going to a concert on Sunday with a friend.”

So here I am, a house full of boxes, almost no help moving from her, and shes going out to some fucking concert the next night and didnt even think about, nor talk to me about any possible assistance I might need from her.

Needless to say, after about 7 hours of heavy lifting and near heat exaustion from moving two appartments into one, I was very put off to hear this news. Instead of somthing along the lines of acknowledging that I needed help with the house, she gets mad at me for asking her to stay home. All of a sudden, I am the immature one. She even admits that she wasnt going to mention it to be because she knew I’d be upset. OF-FUCKING-COURSE I’d be upset, I did all this by myself and now I’m going to have to finish it alone!

She soundly sleeps now, knowing that she’ll be going to a concert after work on Sunday with some girl who I’ve never met, leaving me home with the mess. She knows that I’ll continue to be good to her no matter what shit she slops in my face and that I am a glutton for punishment.

Honestly, I just wish she’d open her eyes and be nice to me for once, for more than a few hours. I can’t treat someone good forever if they just keep slapping me in the face no matter what I do.

I miss the nice girlfriend I fell in love with a few months ago. :thinking:

2

As for these:

Theese things are part of life. From the second sentence in the quote to the end, that’s women for you. If you can’t deal with that, become asexual or change your gender.

That doesn’t mean she has the right to do what she did, though. If I were in your shoes and had gotten those concert news, I would lift only half of the stuff you two got and leave the rest for her to lift after the concert, or would lift only my 20% of the stuff.

Being nice towards someone is a way to show affection, but there are times in life when nicety is not the most appropriate stance. You should have a long talk with her about sharing responsibilities.

edit: after reading SK’s post, I have to ask: did you ask her about taking the Ryan guy out for dinner some other day then? Because if you didn’t, forget what I said.

3

Let’s try and break this situation down, here…

  • For starters, based on what you said at the end of the paragraph, it sounds like she does this kinda stuff to get her way because she knows you’ll let her. I think this, because you say:

She knows that I’ll continue to be good to her no matter what shit she slops in my face and that I am a glutton for punishment.

If you don’t want that to happen, stop letting it happen, plain and simple. If you stand up for yourself, you’ll see it happen a lot less, AND you’ll be more respected in her eyes. And, if that DOESN’T work…well…that’s something you should have figured out BEFORE you decided to move in with her. :stuck_out_tongue:

  • The concert…I’m assuming you had come up with the idea very recently, because of the way you mentioned it:

When I was talking to her this evening before she went to bed, I asked her what she thought about taking Ryan out to dinner to thank him this Sunday.

If she had planned to go to that concert already, then there really isn’t ANY reason for you to be mad. Take your friend out on another day. I mean shit, it sounds like you ASKED her what she was doing, anyways! That sounds akin to a conversation something like this:

Dad: Hey son, what are you doing tonight?
Son: Oh, I was gonna go hang out with my friends–
Dad: No, actually you were gonna wash the dishes, take out the trash…

It really looks bad on your part. :stuck_out_tongue: Now, I could be wrong. Maybe you had this planned and set for a long time, and she just flaked out on you all of a sudden. If that’s the case… I direct you to my previous advice: If you don’t want that to happen, you have to establish that you’re not ok with that kind of treatment, plain and simple, no two ways about it (other than ending your relationship).

  • If she’s going on Sunday, you can just have her ‘help’ with whatever needs to be done TODAY, right? It’s not like you HAVE to do it on Sunday. If you can’t do it for some reason, then tell her to help you on Sunday in the daytime or the nighttime, whenever.

–

I do admit that I could be wrong, since I only know what you’ve told me; however, based on this situation, it sounds like something you’ve brought on yourself by letting her get away with whatever the hell she wants, and getting mad over her not wanting to participate with your idea for dinner because of a prior engagement. If that’s the case, deal with the fact that she’s going to a concert, and start standing up for yourself.

4

This leads me to the biggest question regarding the fairer sex.

Why are the pretty 1s always crazy?

5

I can’t think of anything intelligent to say, but I feel sorry for ya buddy. :frowning:

6

Women 101, chapter 1, page 1.

Sounds like she’s got you pegged and knows how to pull your strings. Like SG said before, stand up for yourself sometimes.

7

She told me that she was going to the concert last night as I was asking her about taking Ryan out. As it turns out, her friend had asked her out earlier that day and she didnt let me know untill late last night.

8

…So, you sprung the idea on her and you were mad that she had already made a commitment. It sounds like you really ARE being immature. Just fucking reschedule it, man. Don’t get so bothered over something so easily fixable.

9

I guess so. I just feel put out because we just moved in and she decided to go off with a friend to a concert while the house is a mess. Maybe I am wrong to think like this.

10

So lately things have been on a up and down rollercoaster for me. I just moved into a new apartment with my girlfriend today and were arguing again. She seems to have two personalities that I’ve come to know and it truly drives me insane. On one side, she is the sweetest, most caring, and thoughtfull girlfriend anyone could ask for. But then theres the manic evil bitch side that comes around often unprovoked. Today is the first day for us in the new apartment, as I said above, and she came home from work in a relitavely good mood. Because she had to go to work, I had aquired the aid of my friend Ryan to help me lift all of our crap (80% of it is hers). When I was talking to her this evening before she went to bed, I asked her what she thought about taking Ryan out to dinner to thank him this Sunday. To which she responded, “Oh, about that… I’m going to a concert on Sunday with a friend.”

So here I am, a house full of boxes, almost no help moving from her, and shes going out to some fucking concert the next night and didnt even think about, nor talk to me about any possible assistance I might need from her.

Needless to say, after about 7 hours of heavy lifting and near heat exaustion from moving two appartments into one, I was very put off to hear this news. Instead of somthing along the lines of acknowledging that I needed help with the house, she gets mad at me for asking her to stay home. All of a sudden, I am the immature one. She even admits that she wasnt going to mention it to be because she knew I’d be upset. OF-FUCKING-COURSE I’d be upset, I did all this by myself and now I’m going to have to finish it alone!

She soundly sleeps now, knowing that she’ll be going to a concert after work on Sunday with some girl who I’ve never met, leaving me home with the mess. She knows that I’ll continue to be good to her no matter what shit she slops in my face and that I am a glutton for punishment.

Honestly, I just wish she’d open her eyes and be nice to me for once, for more than a few hours. I can’t treat someone good forever if they just keep slapping me in the face no matter what I do.

I miss the nice girlfriend I fell in love with a few months ago. :thinking:

Well, first off let me say that if you think all women are all sweet and rosy you need a bracing reality check, buddy. Trust me, if you had an equal amount of estrogen that we have to put up with along with bleeding out your wazoo for a week, every month, almost until death, you’d go from zero to psycho bitch in one nanosecond as well.
Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with her going out with a friend to have fun, but ask that she unpacks her own shit since you carried it. You can reschedule the dinner with the guy, or something. And if you truly think she’s a pain in the ass now, just be thankful you haven’t been married for some 20-years. :stuck_out_tongue:

11

Conversely, not all women are self-centered psychopaths either. So don’t let this experience turn you into one of those “HURRRRR THAT’S WIMMEN FER YA” types. Because as funny as those asses think they are, they’re really just that – asses.

12

Welcome to the world of adult relationships. If this is your first day of living together, you’re in for a wonderful life together from tomorrow until forever. Instead of bitching about how you miss the lovely girl, go talk to her. Communicate with her. You both sound immature and incapable of considering each others feelings. The only way to work out your frustration and anger, is to sit down and tell her that you don’t appreciate the way she is treating you, especially during an incredibly stressful time as a couple and a young adult. You don’t want to build your new home on such negative feelings, do you? Try being understanding towards her need to have fun, and tell her that she needs to be understand when you need <i>her</i>.

13

If this keeps up, cut your losses. I speak from experience.

14

How long have you known this girl? And how long have you been dating her?

15

I think you’re overreacting a little. See if you can take out your buddy Ryan on another day.

You could also pick another day to do the rest of the moving so that your gf can help.

If you are really upset that she hasn’t helped with the moving, then tell her. Let her know that she needs to help.

Living with a woman can be very very difficult. And if you spend the whole time being secretly pissed at each other, it is a lot worse.

16

Let me add somthing new to this whole scenario:

As it turns out, she was lying to me. The girl she was going to the concert with wasnt really a girl. It turned out to be her ex-boyfriend. Not only that, but her reason for keeping this from me was that she didnt want me to find out and get involved in him.

Apparently he is an abusive asshole. She has been threatened by him on several accounts involving guns, knifes, chokings, and other forms of violence. She had, untill our long talk last night, been afraid of him and thus tried to appease him by keeping a friendship so that he would not hurt her.

No longer. I’ve promised to stand up for her if he comes. In exchange, she broke down and apologized for all the wrong things shes done and asked me why I loved her. I simply replied, “If I knew exactly why I loved you, I don’t think it would be as strong. Its just a feeling that I can’t shake.”

So, in the end, There was a much bigger problem and by sticking to figuring everything out, I uncovered that (had I not said anything) she might have gone to a concert with her ex out of fear…

17

Ok… slightly different than what it initially seemed. Good for you for finding the truth.

I thought it kinda sounded shady that she kept her plans from you.

18

OH MY GOD YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS GOING TO A CONCERT WITHOUT YOU BETTER BREAK UP WITH DAT BITCH

19

This thread just took a turn for the hilarious.

20

There is only one thing you can do now Izlude1984, and that is to put on your best fighting jacket, get on your motorcycle, and give that man who took your girlfriend to the concert an ear toss.