*sporfle* Gah! I can't DO this anymore!

clasps hands I have fought a long, harsh battle with myself… and the dark side, has come up victorious. Forgive me my sweet darling authors and friends, for I can no longer fight the urge to protect you from one of the greatest horrors to ever grace fanfiction.
May God have mercy on my soul.

No! Never! Much renowned of gorgeously Arabesque countenance and eyes of scorching copper, one could easily argue my being quite the pretty thing for all my masculinity. My taut figure ripples the cool waters of all things male, just as the cinder lengths of my hair fall gleaming and pleasing towards both sexes. I am not so easily affected by beauty, of any kind, for I am the very pylon streaking across loveliness’ polychromatic sky! I am a seducer, no mere toy of Nayru or any ‘love god’.
More so, I share no such fiery ambition for romance; no such desire for normalcy and her pallid sister, homely mediocrity stills the clangorous, uneven pulse shrieking bloodthirsty along these veins.
I am the august Lord Ganondorf Dragmire; a lord, one of power, one of sexuality, one of intellect. Bone-yards wail of my prowess in battle. My exploits in the arts of sex and violence are dually vermillion-writ. Should such a dusty-haired child stay my pride, I would sooner die!

Oh, and he’s debating with himself and his love for Link.
Excuse me. deep breath

Commits Seppuku

Psh, and you haven’t even seen the… uh… colorful… metafors!
Not going there. Don’t worry, sweeties. /Flea-tone-of-voice.

It’s well writen. I’m just not into things like that. :eek:

Oh, I have nothing against man/man pairings, if they’re well-written and made plausible. But this… this is… is… dissolves into a puddle of giggles

…dwaaah? O_O;;

wanders off, muttering incoherantly

Oh well, man/man pairing are ok if that’s what you like. This just caught me off guard. But like I said it’s well written…are you continuing it…

Oh hell no, I’m not the author. I wouldn’t be caught dead writing this, sorry for the misunderstanding. I’d give you the link to the whole fic, but it’s NC-17. And I can only read a few quotes from it before I black out, so I don’t want to risk killing any of you. ::dekar!::

Sorry I misunderstood. Damn is my face red. Sorry for the mistake.

It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I’ve made mistakes like that myself :slight_smile:

Oh hey, I’ve read that. Not bad, really. I think Spazzy gave me the link. :stuck_out_tongue:

Z’s going to kill you, you know that?

pulls out his Fiber Wire and garrotes the writer for this, then gives Weiila a pizza to recover from her difficult battle

Sprofle? Oh crap!

Runs and hides

Isn’t that the fic from a GAFF sig?

I’ve never bothered looking at it other than the sig quote, ad now I’m happy that I picked up a copy of Call of Cthulhu RPG at the library…
Because it has already pretty much fried my brain…
(Illustrations of all Elder/Outer/Lesser Gods, Great Old Ones, Greater/Lesser Servants and some other nasty stuff XD)

I am determined to hunt down the author of this fanfic and bludgeon him with a baseball bat.

gives Weiila another pizza to help her recover from this monstrosity

Well, I don’t care about the subject either, and it is ANNOYINGLY self indulgent, but he gets points for using such florid language, and using it WELL- that’s not easy, folks, trust me. I wouldn’t bother reading it, but TRUST me, I’ve read far, far worse. :fungah:

Yeah, this guy obviously has a huge ego, but I have seen fics that are much more poorly written than this. Then again, I haven’t seen the part with the more colourful metaphors, and I really don’t want to.

Nggggg … [BOFF]


Ahh, fork it. Later on, Ganondorf also describes… erm… the pride of his lower regions as a “giant horned worm”. I feel so sorry for Link…