Ok…whoever said the “why don’t you get her phone number”, I already HAVE her number, I call her daily. Second off…distance WOULDN’T be a problem…if I had my drivers liscense…and about the “physical preference”, I judge people on personality, not looks.
I’m begining to develop new theories…
1: Love is purely glandular
2: Committment is by human efforts
3: Trust is a random variable influenced only slightly by #1 and #2.
Makes sense to me.
Hey, your only 15, I wouldn’t take it so seriously, your not getting married after all. Just have fun with it, since most people don’t get into real serious relationships untill there around 23 or so
Bwahaha
I wouldn’t make fun of other people’s troubles. Not everyone has a working relationship, and rubbing your success on other people’s faces while they mourn is inconsiderate, at the very least.
I’m not rubbing any sucess, I was mocking the fact that things can’t be taken seriously when one is a mid teen, when they quite obviously can. And don’t you dare insinuate that mine or anyone else’s relationship is easy because mine is quite obviously fucked up. Your girlie might not have “pulled through” but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are living in paradise.
The past is dead. It has no meaning to me, and it can no longer hurt me.
I harbor no illusions. You forget I’m the one who always expects the worst, the one who sees the world in black. There is no such thing as an easy relationship, at least among the genuine ones. Everything has to be earned, sometimes with great pain.
Besides, everything can be lost, just like that, in a moment’s notice. Never forget that. An entire life of expectations and efforts can be swept aside like dust. Such is the cruelty of the world.
TD, I heart you.
Quass Debonair, I heart you too - your theories are interesting.
The angst is killing me very slowly.
For the subject at hand… I don’t want to tell you to forget about a relationship that you’ve developed online because it will never ever work, because that’s cruel and can be untrue. However, it is so easy for people to shut off their real lives for online ones because of the control that they can exert over the latter, and losing touch with real life is beyond unhealthy. It’s fine to maintain an online relationship if you’re into it, but don’t let that close your eyes to what could happen in front of your face.
Also, yeah, you’re 15. Please trust me when I say that you’ve got so much further to go in terms of maturing and learning. I’m not discounting where you’ve been already, but chances are it’s a drop in the bucket compared to how much is left.
Don’t take yourself too seriously, I think is the most important part of an online relationship. Like, I’m just worried that people are saying, “you have to be really committed to it and be really serious if you want it to work out,” and I just think that if you approach anything on the internet like that, you’re just setting yourself up for failure and feelings of self-degradation and self-doubt, which frankly SUCK. The internet is a really chaotic place, being as it is not a “place” at all but rather a visually perceived set of colliding, intertwining views of people from all over the world…it’s all in everybody’s minds, and each mind is immensely chaotic.
But if you just try to have as much fun with it as you can, when you can, and reassure her that yes, the caring is still there, yes, it’s all cool…then, I can guarantee you that no matter what comes out of this, it’ll be truly wonderful - if it’s a really close friendship or a romantic relationship, both are equally beautiful things, IMO, and worth every moment of their existence.
Aight.
-Mazrim Taim
StarStorm: I don’t hurt people, but yes. Now start putting some effort into it.
I’ve been in an online relationship once before, one which included more or less switching to an American sleeping schedule on weekends and holidays and wanting to die whenever he wasn’t online etc. I never thought it’d actually last, so when it did end I wasn’t even hurt, although it had all been damn intense. I had so much fun back then and consider it a great experience, torture included, so I would definitely recommend not taking things too seriously even if you <i>do</i> take it seriously. If anyone can understand what I mean by that…
As for my current relationship, we started out as close friends and decided to leave it that way until we actually met, and for quite a while after that as well, although we were officially a couple long before our first meeting for practical reasons (sorryI’mtakenbyenow!). The reason was that if we met up as friends, we wouldn’t be under as much pressure, and if we didn’t “match” all that well IRL, we wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it. Since we can’t meet all that often, we’re still taking things slooowly. No stresses, no worries. It works very well, so there’s some more advice for you.
hmmz long distance relationships…
I’m being involved in one right now… even though it’s not that long distance. She lives in Cologne and I live in the Netherlands (about a 5 hour drive) but when there’s a holiday she’s always here, her parents have a holidayhouse (or something) in the neighbourhood, and she’s also a colleague of me so it’s no big problem…
Long distance relationships can be a pain, but occasionally I look at the bright side of them.
My boyfriend isn’t always around, so I have time to get my homework and reading for classes done.
My friends don’t have to get jealous of him - they realize that the late evenings are chat-with-the-boy time, but the rest of the time, they can have me all to themselves.
My parents are not nearly as nosy about where I’ve gone and when I’ll be back as they are with me when I have a hometown boyfriend. (Or just guy friend, but I won’t even start to get into THAT one.)
The trick to a good LDR is making time to talk. My boy and I talk almost every night without fail, and usually manage at least a phone call a week, too. (But now his cell phone got stolen. HISS. He’d best get it replaced.) And, of course, you have to make the time to see each other in person, too, which can be expensive but also uber-rewarding.
My guy was out to see me December 26 - 31st. And it was happiness. ^^ Of course, I probably won’t see him again until spring break, but that’s okay. Unlike my last LDR (which was dysfunctional as all getout), this one is comfortable, even-paced, realistic, and generally just plain GOOD. And that makes me a very happy person.
Well, except when he SLAUGHTERS me at Yahoo! chess. grumble
So, you live in Arkansas, hrm? Maybe when I’m on Spring Break, I can drive down there, pick you up, drive you over to the girl’s place, pick her up, drive you both to the middle of nowhere and throw you out of the car, then drive off, while you two try to eek out a survival and get to know each other intimately before finally building up enough cash to make a phone call for help. How about it?
Personally, I think that handling studies and trying to get a decent future are already too difficult and time-consuming without also having to give full attention to someone all the time. Given the choice of getting in such a situation or being able to get the peace of mind that my studies require, my decision would be obvious.
Originally posted by Jing
StarStorm: I don’t hurt people, but yes. Now start putting some effort into it.
Yes ma’am. I know I should be putting more effort into it. sighs
You’re not the only one, hon. 
Originally posted by Manus Dei
Personally, I think that handling studies and trying to get a decent future are already too difficult and time-consuming without also having to give full attention to someone all the time. Given the choice of getting in such a situation or being able to get the peace of mind that my studies require, my decision would be obvious.
You are very finicky -_-;;
Anyways I mentioned before that I like fairy tale relationships and since everyone is talking about how good the distance can actually be, well I’m a big baby. I see nothing wrong with wanting your sig other to be accepted into school related activities, for help or encouragement, and stuff like that. I can’t imagine having a relationship that would require me not to miss him or think straight without him. To me, that’s the thrill of loving someone, being reminded over and over how much you’ve changed and how much you need to rely on that one special person despite how independant you may be. When you take away all that closeness and sharing emotions and situations and feelings just to concentrate on “other things” well…I just can’t see it happening with me. Something’s definately missing if so.
You can obviously get a good career and education while being heavily involved in a relationship. Just knowing that someone has your back and is there to come home to (either emotionally or physically) can help you suceed. I don’t see why not.
ooooo love topicz are kewl~ gt lotz ta learn from u guyz
I wouldnt want to learn from us… there are some very bad examples in our midst, like me
I think you can be in a relationship and still do well in school. But I also know a lot of people who meet that one “special someone” at college and immediately have their grades drop into the pits of Hell.
I admit it. I’m the type of person who would rather spend time with my SO than doing homework. Which is why I’m greatful he doesn’t live out here. As it stands, he often has to yell at me for putting off papers so I can chat with him online. ^_^;