I can’t wait for the SciFi channel to try and capitalize on the release of this movie. Maybe there’ll be a some movie whose plot involves a snake and a plane.
Possible titles (the number I could make by adding a colon and some other nonsensical blurb after it are nigh infinite, so I’ll just do the title stems)
<ul>
<li>Boa vs. Python 3 (Plus appropriate suffix, naturally)
<li>Overbite
<li>A Hiss Before Flying
<li>Fasten Your Seatbelts. This one would require a suffix of some kind, but the stem itself is characteristic of your average direct-to-video suspense movies; it could readily be applied to any movie with a plane in it, meaning the producers skipped consulting any creative staff and just ordered an underpaid immigrant intern to pull it out of a hat.
</ul>
I’ll do more if they come to me, I suppose
In any case, I think it should star chain-smoking jackass paired with a pretty female computer expert who manages to fly the plane from her laptop while they and the rest of the passengers hide in the cargo-hold/bathroom/overhead storage bins. Any and all snakes should be dispatched with molotov cocktails, fire axes, and electricity. A scientist, preferably german, urgently spouting intense psuedoscientific drivel over a faux-tenuous video-conferencing call, would also be helpful (e.g., female hacker type hacks the air-phone system to call a herpetologist in buttfuck egypt to gain intelligence that allows them to save the day). The male lead should be a has-been TV sitcom former child star, and the female lead should be an unknown actress from eastern europe with a thick accent and thicker lips. They shall have mutant snake babies at the end.
[edit] It occurs to me that this last is more likely than it would seem, as SciFi’s basic storyline for these movies is “Evil Corporation Tampers In God’s Domain, thus releasing a Human/<<!---->insert animal here>/wombat in a <<!---->insert cheaply-obtained setting or reasonable fascimilie here>. Carnage ensues.”