I’djust like to take this chance to mention that we did eventually go on the quest for the holy vibrator. And it was subsequently blessed by our elvin priestess. Several times a night.
I then had to go gargle a few rounds of gunshot to clear my mouth of the taste of horror.
Heh, this takes the cake! :hahaha;
My current party yet has to discover that one of their characters (Sorceress) is a key … and the door happens to look wooden, so the fighter-types keep kicking it… and last time, we quit the game with them camping next to the door…
Well here’s one for you.
We get into a fight and my fighter is doing all right until he critically misses with his greatsword. He does damage to himself and breaks his sword. He goes to get his bastard sword after that. He rolls another critical miss and breaks the sword and does damage to himself. THen he goes for a shield bash with his buckler and manages to break it and do damage to himself again. Finally since he’s out of options he punches the guy, critically misses again, braks his hand and does damage to himself for breaking it.
That wasn’t a good fight for him.
that was some bad luck.
One situation that I think of everynow and then, I thought it was pretty funny. Happened in one of DN’s games. Situation: Xelo’s character (Tinntina, I believe) caused a slight disturbance in front of the baron, who had her locked up. My character, Jason, just happened to be the baron’s son, so I went to check up on Tinntina in the jail. She was making quite a fuss while in the cell before I got there, and when I did get there, the guard said she was going to be held until she calmed down. I get the feeling DN didn’t quite expect my solution for that problem:
In another, more recent game, I’ve had another interesting situation. I was a paladin, and, after the three of us in the group got beat up in a bad fight (I blame the rogue for that), we were thrown into a jail cell with two others. A catch, though: we’re all naked. Apparently humans don’t taste good with clothes on. So the count is 2 males and 3 females…yet there are almost no reactions to the naked thing by either the characters or the players. That little fact seems to be mostly ignored, and people behaved normally. Eventually, yes, we got out of that cell, but were still naked and mostly dead. If you want to know what happens after that, ask TD. 
On one game I played some months ago, my friends all got a good laugh at my expense. We were doing some investigation at a robbery in some shop/tent during a mage fair, and we happen to find an animated/living mummified goblin head. Since it was the closest to a witness, we decided we might as well try talking to it. My mage, impatient and having missed the DM’s description of the eyes being sown shut, grabs the head from the paladin and asks, “Did you see anything?” They laughed at me for a couple minutes straight for that one.
This is a bad thing how?
Ah, yes. Good times, good times. I shall now tell mine, in IRC log form even though it didn’t happen in IRC.
DM is, well, the DM. Nero is me; I’m playing a half-elven druid. Gev is a human paladin. Daleth is a human monk.
-DM- Okay. The three of you enter the tomb. You’re in a large room, say, 50x50 feet, and there’s a huge holy symbol to some god… roll rolll… that none of you recognize.
-Nero- Is there anything else in the room?
-DM- No.
-Gev- I walk over to the holy symbol.
-DM- Okay, you’re standing on it.
-Gev- I drop my pants.
-DM- …
-Gev- And pee on the holy symbol.
-Nero and Daleth- What the fuck are you doing?
-Gev- Meh!
-DM- Okay, so, turns out that was a bad idea. The holy symbol seemed to be protecting the room – within about five seconds a skeleton walks into the room. A really, really big skeleton. Daleth, what’s your armor class?
We lived, and that’s a funny story in and of itself.
Afterwards.
-DM- So, what did we learn?
-Nero- Don’t pee on holy symbols.
-Nero- Gev, what the fuck were you thinking?
-Gev- I had to go!
-Daleth- Couldn’t you have gone in the corner?
-Gev- No!
Here’s a semi-silly situation I planned to put my first party through.
A river spanning the length of half the large continent, 300 feet wide, and 10 feet deep (at that point) with rapids running about a mile, needs to be crossed to exit the area of the first town (they think), slightly out of the city limits. Guarding the only bridge across the river is a level 4 NPC ogre calling himself Troll. All he ever says is, “Me Troll! Pay Toll!” Of course, he’s too stupid to know exactly what the toll is (INT score of 3), so whenever you ask how much, he just stares. Basically, the two ways out of the situation are
A: Attempt to kill the ogre, or
B: Pay however much they (the party) want to pay (Troll will accept only gold, though)
The problem is that the ogre won’t move anyway, so the money is wasted and the party needs to find another way out. By traveling a mile down the river past the rapids, they would find an abandoned canoe.
This was a Neverwinter Nights module, so I’m sure whether it counts.
Not funny, but dumb planning by another guy and dumb character development by yours-truly.
A Rogue (me), a Cleric, another Rogue, a Paladin, a Barbarian and a Fighter (all 5/6th level) were playing a n exp-gathering module. This meant caves. A lot of caves. We were meant to descend to the lowest level, find an artifact, bring it out to the King, and claim our reward (according to the module creator; a LOT of exp and gold). The downside? No respawns allowed. Fair enough, we thought.
So we’re all descending, and these caves are maze-like. Since we’d all agreed to meet at the Three Moons Tavern (really, REALLY cheap high-class equipment-selling server) before we left, the second Rogue is, WITHOUT TELLING US, laying down lethal-grade traps every which way, since he’s afraid - justifiably so - that we could be ambushed by a hinted-at dragon down here.
We get down there, and the artifact is guarded by a Succubus group and some Hellhounds. Hellhounds use a flamethrower-like attack on us, Fighter gets taken down to a handful of HP, second Rogue dies, and since we can’t respawn in this module he logs out. I hang back and snipe them with arrows and the others get stuck in. We slaughter them after a tough fight. We were feeling pretty good about ourselves, me especially since this was my first time playing multiplayer NWN.
The problem, we found, arose when we tried to find our way back OUT. Or at least, when the Barb did.
Cue screams as a Lethal Acid Trap is triggered and said Barb dies a horrible, horrible melty death.
Cleric: “Hey, why didn’t you see that?”
Me: “I haven’t got any points in Search yet! I was gonna get some next level!”
All: “WHAT?”
Me: “Oops?”
Cue the most nerve-wracking 15 minutes ever as we crawl, inch by painstaking inch, up through a dungeon CRAWLING with traps laid at all key points. Finally I and Fighter reach the exit. Guess what we find? Yup. The dragon the DM had programmed to trigger as the artifact reached the exit of the caves. We all roasted.
And that was the LAST time I ever made a Rogue without Search.
I’d still like to meet the man who designed that module. And beat him to death with his own HD. Who puts a DRAGON in a module designed for low-level chars? No-one answer that >:|
Playing a fairly typical campaign… I created a Halfling fighter/ranger… Very fun combo. We were finally in a town and of course I ran straight to the local tavern. Not more than five seconds after I order my ale… Supersized… Does some crazed lady burst in to the tavern and start screaming about creatures terrorizing the town and they have run in to the bell tower.
My companions immediately jump up and run out onto the street. I continue to work on my ale. As I watch the human monk, the Elven ranger/deep wood’s sniper, Elven cleric, Dwarven fighter, the half-elf druid, the human barbarian and two other human fighters leave the tavern I figure they can handle this on their own. So I stay put.
2 rounds into combat the monk realizes I’m not there. He runs out of the bell tower and across the street to grab me. He throws me on his shoulders and takes me to the bell tower.
I spill some ale but try really hr to continue to consume it. As we enter the bell tower I see fur and werewolf bodies lying around on the floor. Confused at why they grabbed me I look up at the tower and see three other werewolves that the other do not. So as they continue to bash the heck out these guys I climb up the rope.
Two of the wolves start heading down. I place my ale in my backpack. and tie the rope around my leg and arm. They get closer. I ready my crossbow and poor oil in one of my bolts. As they are moving towards me they shake the ropes and I spill the oil on myself. Somehow their attacks missed and it was my turn. I lit the bolt up and fire… 20 20 19. I crit the werewolf and he just explodes. I then realize my clothes are on fire.
But rather than do anything about it I ready my crossbow to attack the other wolf. Before I can he cuts the rope and I fall 6 stories.
I fail every reflex save… Insane right? So I reach for my ale figuring these are my last moments… Enjoy. Doing this sets my backpack on fire. So now I’m a ball of fire falling down 4 stories drinking ale.
When I reach the bottom I pass my tumble check and somehow survive with 6 HPs. Very lucky the DM rolled bad on the Hit Die. Seeing as I have had enough fun I put my flames out before they do any more damage to me. I look around and see the others still fighting. I walk right out the bell tower and back to the tavern… “These cups come with a free refill right?”
Quite a while ago, in fact it was the same campain that Kraken smacked Frame with the fish, my halfling thief (dex 19) was hanging in the Thief’s guild when this particularily abnoxious NPC started bugging me. I stood up on my chair and tried to pop his jaw. I missed and fell off the chair. So I stood up and pickpocketed his belt causing his pants to fall. I did this once agian, when trying to avoid some local thugs.
Lancers (Dragoon) in D&D are cool… Just use a Lance and some form of jump spell… When you fall onto your target from a certain height (cant remember the distance for this to work) you are considered “Charging” and thus do double damage with the lance… Explosivo
The weridest thing that ever happen to me was when I fought the final boss of icewind dale. I remember he was a slaad, and was noramlly easy. But becasue of this bug in the game, he would not die. I had to reset and fight him all over again.
The silliest D&D situation that happened in a game I was playing was when I was first getting into 2nd Edition. I was a 7th level magic user, My brothers were a level 8 Ranger, and a level 10 cleric, respectively, my oldest brother’s two friends who played were a level 11 assasin and a level 9 barbarian. the one who was playing tha barbar was kinda slow to begin with, and was getting on my dad’s(the DM’s) nerves. since the barbar was a half giant, the DM threw some twists to slow his progress, and then he was succesfully decapitated by a Dark Knight. But my dad, feeling sorry for the kid, let him continue on carrying his head in one hand and a club in the other. Kind of an animate dead spell cast by the DM out of sheer sympathy.
Another pretty silly situation happened in Third edition more recently. I was playing a Level 6 halfling Rogue/Assasin and our party was at a bar, My character was piss drunk and did some dancing and singing at a vicious NPC’s request. while singing and dancing, I rolled four succesful pick pockets checks, and the DM rewarded me with a short sword +2 and a Diamond worth 100000 GP beause it was the best he’d ever seen anyone play a Halfling rogue. I also got 350 gp pocket cash from the other two victims. And then succesfully assasinated the barkeep.
Here’s one from a game my brothers were in. One of them was the DM:
Lycanthtope in a Bag.
Simple enough. A Lycanthrope in a Bag was a dust that, when you poured water on it, would create a lycanthrope to fight for you.
One Lycanthrope in a Bag + One cup of water = One fully grown lycanthrope.
Sounds simple, right?
Well, my non-DM brother got the bright idea of throwing the Lycanthrope in a Bag into a lake. The thing is, the more water you add, the larger the lycanthrope.
Do any of you remember Dolan (the Moon God-Beast from Seiken Densetsu 3)?
The result would have had Dolan for a light snack. Fortunately, by the time Wolfzilla popped out, they were LONG gone.
Sorry for the double post…
Again, this wa s agame my bros were in, not me. So I don’t know the details.
Anyways, I don’t know if they were playing an evil campaign or something, but they had brought one of their party members to a temple to be ressurected. It turns out he can only be raised in a desecrated temple.
Thier solution: “I pee on the temple.”
I was playing DD with some of my friends i took my Sword atk and rolled a 1 and i hit funny. Here is the funny part i cut him in haft i thought i was a bad ass i said bring it i can take on any one just then we had to deal with 2 demon Next time wait intell the spell is cast :noway:
Oh, I got a million of 'em. Evil DM speaking here.
One time, I slipped a Deck of many things into a burning room. Each of the players had enough time to grab 3 of the cards from the deck, and look at them later. (I think I had the deck glued to the table, so they couldn’t grab it.) First player got 60000 xp, a castle, and 50000 GP! Than the other player looked at his card and ended up fighting a mindflayer, having his soul removed, and, of course, ended up dead. Needless to say, I was laughing my ass of. He didn’t play with me again for a while.
Another one: I had my 2 characters going up against a dragon that was at least 5 levels above the 2 of them. Looked like a tough, long, hard battle. Toughy, the fighter, rolled and got a 20. Than he rolled and got another 20. Double critical. The dragon ended up with about 1/5 of it’s hp left. The dragon was next. He rolled… and got a 1. Missed horribly, and he was standing near the wall, and I said that he had swung his tail with such force that he hit the wall with it. Took 1d10 of damage. (A 10, no less.) The Sorcerer was next. Smacked the Dragon with his quarterstaff! Guess what? ROLLED FRIGGIN 20’S IN A ROW! Killed the dragon in 2 hits. I ran off to cry, since they were supposed to lose. I hate it when that happens, don’t you?
OK, one more. One time, an evil Bard has facinated an entire villiage. My fighter wasn’t able to resist him, and what does the bard do? He thinks that the fighter has broken free. He tells the crowd to attack the fighter, and the fighter kills himself with his own axe by rolling 2 20’s in a row. The player kicked my ass soon afterward.
You are so unlucky with the dragon. Lucky with the rest though.