Sexual Morality

<a href=“http://here-now.org/shows/2005/02/20050223_13.asp”>The topic of our talk.</a>
<a href=“http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2005/02/28/earlier_sexual_incident_alleged/”>And another article that includes a similar episode two days prior.</a>

We’re starting sexual morality in class today, and this was the brunt of our discussion. We talked about whether it was right or wrong, and several social factors about how we viewed it. Several people called it “sick” and “inappropriate” but I forget their exact reasoning.

I’m asking what y’all think about this subject, teenage sexual activity in general, and/or how the media and society influences our thoughts towards sex.

As for me, I thought it was wrong because they were doing it for the instant gratification part of oral sex, and not for anything to do with relationships (I am firmly against sex if you’re not in a serious relationship). I don’t condemn them, however, as it was only oral sex, but it’s still a pretty serious thing in my mind because they essentially used the girl and gave nothing in return. Whether it was consensual or not, the girl was used in this. Also, when I asked if it were turned around (6 girls propositioning a guy), everyone laughed, but it was because they were then thinking “yea, that’d be awesome,” which brought us into the topic of how society and the media portray sex.

We’re surrounded by it, and all types of media are saturated with it. Most popular media portrays it as the cool thing to do and uses it to sell their products, which in turn cheapens the relationship factor of sex, because people will move from partner to partner, which I’m firmly against, as stated above.

Also discussed how this was could be considered a power play by the males in the situation, as they basically forced the girl into it (how is a girl to turn down 5 hockey players? If she refused, they might’ve raped her). I think that they thought it was OK to use her because, historically at least, males have held the power in sexual relationships, and still do in some countries. So along those lines, they probably thought it was OK to use her like that, mainly because she was there to service them whenever they wished, no matter if she wanted to or not.

Also on the note of punishment, the 5 boys got expelled and the girl is on academic leave, which means she’s out of school for a while, but she’ll be able to go back. Why is it that the boys got expelled and she didn’t if she was a willing participant? Should the males be prosecuted for statutory rape, even though it was willing? Was it right to expel the boys because they broke the law? Would the 5 girls in my theoretical situation been expelled or still just the 1 guy?

While this doesn’t pertain to teenagers in particualar, there are some in my example. As sad as it may be, I’m addicted to watching courtroom shows like Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Hatchet, etc. Many of the cases in these shows involve discussion about child custody, or somehow involving childeren in the parents problems, and DNA testing.

Every judge on the these shows have the same general opinion that I share as well: If you aren’t married, don’t have children because there isn’t any court that grants protection to people who “play house”.

Now, back on the subject of teenage sex, I think it’s wrong on so many levels. Blaming teenage sex on the media is like blaming violent video games for creating criminals, and I’m sure we’re all familiar with that whole fiasco. The bottom line is that people (teens included) have free will and make their own choices. If they want to fool around with sex, that’s their choice, but when an “uh-oh” occurs, they must be prepared to face the consequences of their actions.

I never said that it was the media that caused teens to have sex, just that it influenced our view on it. And I wholeheartedly agree on the need to be prepared for consequences, which is why I believe sex outside of a serious relation - it need not be marriage - to be such a horrendous act, especially if it’s just for the sake of sex, or if one of the partners leaves the other becase of an unexpected pregnancy.

If that girl isn’t kicked out, she better leave that school or else face other social problems at the school. I’d assume the “school leave” is a hint of asking her to leave since an expultion is a whole lot worse then being “asked to leave” (or at least this is how it worked at the private high school I went to).

In my High School there was this group of kids that were know for having sex with each other (they changed partners more then square dancers so to say). Everyone knew about it, and when one of them got an STD they all eventualy got it.

How come these deals always happen in locker rooms or invole sports teams?

The instant gratification of oral sex? I mean, think about that. You say that like there should be some ulterior motive towards having oral sex. I mean, we play video games because they’re fun, not to enhance our brain functions or increase our intelligence. I want a blowjob because it feels good. Humans, dolphins, and one other mammal are the only creatures on the planet that procreate for fun.

So long as you use protection, then you’ve done all you can. Sometimes shit happens, and when shit happens, you have to deal with it. Otherwise, party hardy.

>Why is it that the boys got expelled and she didn’t if she was a willing participant?
If you read the first article you posted, it stated that the school classified it as an act of coercion due to the ratio of participants. Even if it was willing, their numbers obviously influenced her decision.

The biggest problem in this issue is that people refuse to understand that there are two types of sex. Meaningful and fun. Monogamous and promiscuious. Casual and serious. So long as you can accept that there are two kinds, then you should be fine. Casual sex is fun, and intimate sex is serious. It’s often referred to as the difference between “fucking and making love”.

As far as why she actually did it - I don’t know. And I think it’s unfair of you to assume that they “probably would have raped her”. I don’t know, and neither do you. Maybe she wanted to?

Casual sex can be fun if you’re into that sorta thing, but wait till after school for christ sakes…

They can’t stop high schoolers from having sex, they can though try their best to make them have safe responsible sex.

If the sex was genuinely consensual no-one should care. Also see Sorc’s paragraph about Fucking != Making Love.

i think this is more a moral issue than a legal one. surprise! girls like sex too, and are capable of having the same weird power fetishes that men do. any girl whos hanging out in a hockey teams locker room is probably looking to be gang banged. i think sex outside of any sort of relationship, other than an “im a whore!” relationship, isnt a good idea, for emotional and health reasons. that said, if two emotionally competent teenage individuals have sex, thats ok with me. the problem is that 95% of teenagers (and people in general) are fucking retards.

During my teenage years, I had much narrower views on sexuality than I do now. I believed that the meaningful serious sex was good and that casual sex was bad, because I felt that those who could not commit to others were weak and self-centred.

Now, my beliefs are somewhat different. I view sex on the whole as a positive thing, and I believe that North-Amercian society in general has a negative attitude towards it. Although I myself never engage in casual sex, I do not actively hinder others from doing it so long as there is mutual consent, since I believe that they have the freedom to choose. Sex has consequences, though, and those who engage in it should be fully ready to deal with them if they happen.

Personally, I feel that only serious, meaningful sex is right for me, because of my beliefs about honour and happiness, and that casual sex is merely physical pleasure and has little personal value to me compared with the other, which I see as a powerful expression of love for another human being. Of course, to look at the situation from another angle, I have only ever had meaningful, loving sex, and so I undoubtedly have a biased view againsty casual sex.

I do believe that North-American society on the whole ought to be more accepting of sexuality and not view it as something which can ‘poison young minds’ or something like that. It is true that sexuality can harm others, but I think that, so long as there is mutual consent, we should be able to have the personal freedom to choose how we live our lives and conduct ourselves sexually. I think that sexual education is a good thing, and that young children should fully be able to learn about sex and sexuality if they want to do so, but with the ability to make up their own minds about it and not be indoctrinated through the educational system or media. I think that masturbation is still too widely looked down upon and ought to be more accepted because it is merely a healthy, natural part of sexuality. Although I try to avoid pornography, I like erotica, or non-exploitative sexually explicit art, books, films, etc…and see nothing wrong with them.

Sexuality is simply a part of life.

Roofies fix all.

Sex is bad, mmkay?

If it feels good and it’s safe, do it!

I find it interesting, Cala, how you said “… as it was only oral sex…” (emphasis mine) - I read an article about a week ago about teen attitudes toward sexual activity and how the trend seems to be that oral sex is becoming about as serious as a kiss. I’d give a link, but I have no clue where I found it and I’m lazy about looking, ha ha.

I think the girl “wanted” to do it, but I think in a few years she’ll regret it for some reason or another. That’s just being young and not knowing any better. Man, I don’t know… maybe she liked giving blowjobs, the word got around, and some of the guys took advantage of her proclivities. It sounds like things I hear about from my mother about kids at my old high school where she works. What do I know, though?

I think it’s sad in a way how younger people are becoming more blasé regarding physical intimacy. I grew up thinking that I’d only have sex with the man I married, and then I figured “well, if I’m in a serious relationship and we’re in love and all that jazz”… man, it sure is easy to think you’re in love with someone when you’re seventeen and that you’ll be together forever. Then, it’s really easy to act like it’s no big deal after you’ve done something already. I’ve had meaningful sex with men I loved, and I’ve had casual sex with men I would come to love to men that I didn’t know all that well, when it came down to it. To me, casual sex feels good (hopefully, lol) physically when it’s happening, but I’ve always found a certain emptiness or wastefulness in it. I feel that it lacks context. I’ve gotten more out of meaningful sex than just an almost-orgasm, lol.

Now, I’m not saying that sex is supposed to be omgtotallyseriousliek. That’s part of having intimacy - it’s okay to be serious, but it’s okay to let go and have fun as well. I think the difference between casual sex and meaningful sex is something that’s hard to appreciate unless both have been had. I could be wrong though - it’s not like that hasn’t happened before.

(Now, for the sake of clarification, when I say “meaningful” sex, I mean in the context of a mature, loving, monogamous relationship. In my life experience, sex outside of those circumstances lacks meaning. Since my life experience is what I’m working with here, that’s my rule, and so there, nyah nyah, lol.)

I agree with Percival regarding the North American attitudes about sex. I don’t get it, though… it’s okay to shoot up a restaurant in a bloody manner in some sort of entertainment production, but flash some skin and DAMN!The Obscenity Police are on you like white on rice in a Styrofoam cup. However, you have kids screwing during school hours behind a set of stairs and a girl blowing five guys in a locker room. How screwed up is that?

Anyway, I think this post was some sort of free-flowing odyssey of Vicki’s thoughts. Stay away from the roofie coladas.

OMG PIX PLZ

Anyway, I blame Janet Jackson’s right nipple on America’s attitudes toward sex (we were getting more and more lax until “Nipplegate”). It’s also worth pointing out that at least in America, you can show the nether regions of a person’s body in all its gruesome detail on film, where in Japan (a country infamous for its sexual escapades) you can’t.

I don’t know if this releates, but Japan is so sexualy repressed, that people aren’t having children, thus a child shortage has occured in Japan

They can’t show sexual organs, but can show a huge tentacle demon raping an 8 year-old. I think that’s part of the problem.

why wasn’t my high school like this? :frowning:

I think oral sex is good. I also think we need more of it.

Really, it’s all about knowing yourself. If you can handle a casual relationship, then go for it. If you can’t, steer clear.

Truer words have never been spoken (in this thread anyway :D).
I like this day. Wherever I went today, people talked about sex. Now, to get some. <.<
Anyway, I agree with sorc on this one. And Epic on the tentacle moster thing. Although I think when it comes to nudity and such, Japan isn’t the only prude country.