This isn’t a thread about ragging on those nasty sex offenders, it’s more of an interest in the victims.
As a healthy 17 year old male in high school, I tend to get around. I don’t sleep with every female I see - nor would I want to - but I do have intimate conversations with a lot of them. Oddly enough, a recurring subject is rape. This semester alone I’ve had 4 girls tell me that they’ve been raped. In my life time I can name 12 girls (that I can immediatly recall) that I know of that have been sexually assaulted.
To me, this is a pretty astonishing number. Maybe I’m in the dark or something but to know this many girls that have been assaulted in such a way floors me. And the really weird thing is that none of these girls fit the traditional profile, or from what I’ve seen on TV and from my personal research on the subject (some of you may recall my interest in serial killers). They are all outgoing, happy young women. At least they act like this, and even in my private conversations with them they seem so at ease. They talk of these events almost in passing.
Two women I care deeply about have been raped multiple times before. Both of these are happy and bouncy too, everytime I think about it I can’t help but want to punch someone though. I’d go out on a lim and say that I think rapists go after happy women because they want to take that happiness away from them as they are controlling them. Since it’s about domination, they want to affect a woman deeply, so they go after someone they think would be most affected. I kinda used to take it into stride that people are raped all the time, but when it was someone close to me, it became personal as I suppose it would.
I just can’t help but think about how unevolved rapists must be, since the animals we descended from rape undominating males and gang rape females then eat their babies. I guess that means us nice guys are more evolved. I can’t even think of ever doing that to a woman though, the guilt of it would make me cut my dick off then kill myself.
But yeah, I’ve also noticed that if a girl is raped once, they’re more likely to get raped again than someone who hasn’t, it’s like these guys can smell it or something. I’m honestly not sure if they manage to completely get over it, I mean how could you get over being violated in such a personal, disgusting way? But most of them seem to accept it and move on. I don’t really know whether the two women I know have completely gotten over it, but they don’t let being raped consume their lives. They can talk about being raped openly with me and each other and there aren’t any visible signs of emotion, but you can tell that being raped does change them fundementally and changes who they are deep down. Personally I think it’s a fate worse than death, but I’m not going to go into that whole thing.
I’m pretty sure there are many different reasons for rape other than just domination, Urk. I recall Chuh talking about it in the chat with one of his fancy schmancy criminal justice courses. Something about seven different classifications of rape or something.
Now, sorc, by rape, do you mean the classic motif of a woman dragged into an alley and raped by a dirty old man kind of rape? Or more of the date rape kind? While both are wrong and merely subsets of a larger classification of actions, they tend to hold different emotional values for the layman. Like, just saying rape makes me picture the alley and invokes a sense of disgust, but the other scenario, while still disgusting in a sense, seems to hold an emotional attachment more of pity for the victim. However, that’s just me. So, when you say rape, do you mean all kinds of rape, specific date rape, alley rape, or what?
As for your question, to my knowledge, I know only one girl that had been raped, and her scenario was one of drinking too much and a guy taking advantage of that.
I grew up in Kentucky (yeah, that may not make a difference) and I had alot of the same thing you did Sorc. Girls would talk to me because I was “the nice guy” whom they could trust. And maybe I’m a little cold, but alot of them were trailer trash girls. I know that getting sexually assaulted is no laughing matter, but after hearing about Bessy-Marie-Loo-Anne (sorry if anyone you know is named that, I’m not talking about them) getting raped at some drinking party. Or that So-n-So cheer leader got her butt slapped while wearing a very short and revealing skirt. I’ve been lead to the opinion that a majority of the women (or men) out there who claim that they’ve been “Raped” are more than likely pulling sympathy for somthing that they initially wanted to do. For instance, we’ll use A. as the name of our whore (A could be a male of female, sex has no meaning here). A went to a party. A drank waaaaay too much. A gets sexed up hard core. A wakes up next to someone they dont know. A feels bad about it. A says “Oh noes, I got raped”. I say you pay for your irresponsibility in some way or another. If people werent interested in getting fucked up or having some sort of attention getting experience happen to them, then theres a good chance that they wouldnt go to THAT sort of party.
Then again, thats just based on people that I’ve had dealings with, and honestly didnt feel sorry for because in the scenarios THEY described to me, they asked for it.
However, I DO feel bad for alot of serious rape victims where they have sex against their will. Thats not right at all.
I’m not disputing this, I can’t really remember if it’s true or not, where did you get this from though.
Have you been raped? If the answer is no then don’t presume to know what it’s like, this tends to be highly insulting to rape victims.
Correctamundo, I don’t have my notebooks on me right now though so my memory is a little sketchy. From what I can remember there were like 6 or 7 types which generally fell into three subcategories. You’ve got statutory and date rape where the motivation is sex, the more traditional types of rape that you talked about where it’s about domination, revenge, or some other things I can’t remember, and then you’ve got the really sick kinds where it’s based on mutilation that I won’t get into here.
With the possible exception of statutory rape, no victim ever EVER asks for it. A woman (Or man) can back out at ANY time, and it does not matter in any way how they act, dress, or flirt. Women who wear slutty clothes are not asking for it. You are absolutely incorrect and it’s thinking like this that helps such large amounts of rape to go unreported. Many rape victims are so worried about people thinking they’re responsible (Take the Kobe Bryant case for example) that they never report the incident. This is just wrong on every level, no rape victim is ever responsible.
Yeah, it’s pretty dumb to say that its the rape victim’s fault. The actions someone partakes in, whether or not they are questionable, never says “rape me.” Drinking does not say “rape me”, wearing revealing clothes does not say “rape me.” Both actions are performed all the time by people and have little repercussions. Even controlled, social drinking leads to date rape at times. I fail to see how it’s the fault of anyone but the rapist, and saying someone was ‘asking for it’ is really disrespectful.
The fact remains that some people put themselves in situations where there’s a greater chance of them being raped, but I still wouldn’t put the blame on them even in those cases. And if someone was “asking for it” I don’t think they’d be getting raped anyway.
I guess my wording may be bad, what I mean to say is that:
People who do things like excessive drinking at parties and/or wearing sleazy clothing are appealing to an audience that is supseptible to such acts. I guess that wording it as “They are asking for it” is bad. But I really dont feel sorry for people that get too drunk to “back out” as you claim alot of them can.
If you cannot controll yourself then too bad. Cold or not, I dont care.
I just hate girls that try to get attention through “trusting me with the horrible things that happened to them at such and such alcohol and drug party.”.
Your right, people can pull out anytime they want (no pun intended), but the people who DONT and try to claim " oh noes, I was taken advantage of cause" when they really wanted to piss me off.
Appealing to an audience? Is there a certain rape audience or something? You’re generalizing, saying that people that go to parties and get shitfaced drunk are horrible people/rapists or somethign else. That’s complete bullshit.
It’s not an attention thing, what kind of attention do you get from letting someone know you got raped? That’s certainly not good attention.
Lastly, you might be able to stop any time you want, but have you ever factored in fear? Have you thought about how scary it might be for someone to get physically violent on you that you KNOW you could not handle? That’s scary. You may not know that feeling, but they probably do.
The law does not agree with you, no study on rape agrees with you, rapists agree with you though, so I guess you’ve got that. That’s not how rapists choose their victims. I’m not ranting about this again, I already did.
Cannot control themselves? The rapists are the ones who can’t control themselves buddy.
I can’t understand your wording I’m afraid.
How on EARTH do you know for sure whether they’re lying about whether or not they were taken advantage of. You have to have been personally involved to know that.
Wow, I’m not the only one who hates that. Anyhow, this experience happened to me on a few occasions, but one specific occasion that I recall was in my first apartment, my friend had just broken up with his baby-mom(the latter of which has also cried to me about relationship problems) and met up with this beer slut. They then had sex on MY bed(at the time, I was too wrapped up into FFT to notice) and afterwards, the girl said she was sexually assaulted, and to make matters worse, she tried to come on to me(she was 16, I was 19, my friend was 17). I not-so-gently pushed her drunk ass off after she tried to kiss me, and made her walk home in the rain and resumed my game of FFT. And my friend was so drunk he couldn’t even ride his bike home. He then got back with his baby-mom and had her pick him up.
But, the point of my story is that a lot of girls do it for attention. I was a victim of such a girl once, too, in high school. The reputation(which was that of a crazy druggie) that others built up of me(the crazy part was part true and part build-up, the druggie part was true) didn’t help. In this scenario, said girl and I went to lunch at Mcdonalds and I did her a favor. Her parents then found out somehow(probably cause she came home high and then didn’t know what to say so she told them I harrased her). I then had to talk to her parents and explain the situation, as it really happened. The rumors kinda fucked things up between me and my girl at the time. I coped with blotter and drove myself into a mental ward. Which made things between me and my girl even worse. We broke up after I got out of the ward. Though I have spoken to both of these girls since the above incident, I’m only cool with one of them(I bet you’ll never guess which one…hahahaha), being the ex. I told the other girl to go to hell. That was one fucked up incident
On the other hand, I have also met girls who have really been sexually assaulted(almost every one by a parent or close ex). Their personalities vary, but for the most part, they’re upbeat and cool to talk to. And the sad thing is that there’s not only rapists, but also attention-starved girls looking for an end to their means. And both are manipulative and cannot control themselves. You can usually tell the real victims by the eyes. Trust me on this one, the eyes never lie
I wanted to add something else…I had sex with 0 of the girls mentioned in this post
date rape happens more than anyone knows in high school, and it happens to almost as many guys as girls.
I agree that the victim is not in the wrong. it is the agressor who is. more often it is a person who knows what they want and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. I’ve know quite a few girls (and guys) who have been guilt tripped into sex with someone, and that too is rape because the victim doesn’t really want sex but gives in out of fear. not just fear for physical harm but emotional harm (losing a friend, etc).
The ones who do this are only insterested in their own feelings and never stop to concider the other person’s feelings. I also concider it rape when a person doesn’t try to ensure that the other person enjoys the act as much as they do.
I also have been the victim of a fabricated assault. I won’t go into details but it took a long time to clear my name on it. All because i was a nice guy and she picked me to take the fall for a boyfriend who her parents didn’t approve of.
trips over the soapbox on his way out OOops :runaway:
I’m going to add in a female’s perspective and play the devil’s advocate here. While no one asks to be raped, I’m willing to bet a small number of those girls LIED. Yes, lied. Don’t ask the reason for wanting your sympathy, because every little bit helps. It makes them belong, when they have something to talk about. I’m not saying that these girls aren’t messed up-they’re clearly unstable for faking a rape, but it happens an awful lot. Girls getting knocked up or just laying on their backs and calling rape, for whatever reason. To become a victim? To get back at a guy? To fall into the latest trends? it happens too much. I’m not dismissing every rape out there, but there is a fraction that do don’t understand the seriousness of lieing about it. One of my friends was molested when she was 12 and once another friend of ours saw the sympathy this girl was getting (well she told a lot of people, which is sick in itself) she started giving me the “I was raped by a man whose son I babysat”. Although, she had no trauma, never told anyone else and it was clear in her comments that she was still a virgin. She would just tell me out of the blue. I know everyone reacts differently, but you don’t remember your rape as something that happened oh just a few days ago.
So yeah, there are girls like this. I’ve heard that 1 out of every 3 women will be raped, and that’s scary, so I intend to learn how to protect myself.
It’s rather disturbing. Perhaps it’s my personality, but I can’t understand why men would do such a thing, especially to those they’re supposed to care for.
So yeah, there are girls like this. I’ve heard that 1 out of every 3 women will be raped, and that’s scary, so I intend to learn how to protect myself.
Don’t worry, darling! Hades will protect you from those rapist thugs!
Personally, I know one girl who says they have been raped. I never found out the details, sine we are not close friends. So it makes it hard to tell where she just said that to get sympathy, or not.
Why does life have to be so fucking sick sometimes?
Well that was just an assumption as I said, I honestly don’t know much about how rapists think.
I Didn’t find these facts anywhere, I just seem to see a pattern that with most girls that have been raped once, they’ve been raped multiple times. Of course these other times could be lies, but I’m not getting into that whole argument.
The fact remains that some people put themselves in situations where there’s a greater chance of them being raped, but I still wouldn’t put the blame on them even in those cases. And if someone was “asking for it” I don’t think they’d be getting raped anyway.
You’re generalizing, saying that people that go to parties and get shitfaced drunk are horrible people/rapists or somethign else. That’s complete bullshit.