Repent, Sinners!

Phew. And I was just going to take some acid whilst listening to Helloween, spraypaint my father’s Navy uniform blood red and piss on a police car whilst reading “Magick and Practice in Theory” by Aleister Crowley saying “HAIL SATAN! GOD IS DEAD!” Then I was going to strap dynamite to my chest, go to an orphanage full of white Protestant children, ask them all to make a saving throw versus death and then press the button!

I match 17 of those. Nice.

" 11. Black coloured clothing, when worn almost exclusively, or when combined with the wearing of jewelry, buttons, or paraphernalia with occult symbology. Also the wearing of such jewelry and paraphanalia with any clothing, T-shirts with pictures of heavy metal album covers of Satanic symbols, and black fingernail polish."

So wouldn’t that make the Puritans Satanic? Alnd weren’t the Puritans some of the most religious fanatics we’ve had?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Sin is so going to hell. Fuck if if his name wasn’t enough reason.

Do you think my “JESUS SAVES SINNERS, and redeems them for valuable prizes” shirt qualifies for any of those?

10 out of 20 isn’t bad.

Originally posted by Sinistral
I match 17 of those. Nice.

Out of curiosity, which three DON’T you match?

Yay, 11.

Sin, 17? So… you don’t mutilate self, have a morbid fascination into death (Unless strictly dealing with biological studies) and… uhh… you’re not rebeliious towards your parents?

14 out of 20 aint too bad, that i fall under.

“Also, interest in New Age “mood” music.” 0_o what the heck?

“intense introspection” Lol all britney spears wannabes get to go to heaven if there is one.

“loss of sleep” so if your neighbor has an annoying dog, youre possessed by satan? sweet

“Severe mood swings” Females youre out! Bah who doesn’t have a mood swing.

“a drop in grades” So if the teacher sucks, its cause satan made your dog eat your homework.

“depression” “Unusual body movements and effects such as twitching, tics, rocking, glazed eyes, head banging, moaning or groaning, chanting” all those with some mental illness are in love with satan! Those horns just don’t do it for me however.

;p too tired to go through every bit of stupidity. Though is that a parody site or is that for real? Never can tell.

Cool. 19 out of 20.

20 out of 20 if you consider Allyekhrah a satanic nickname.

Excuse me now, I have to sacrifice a few goats and mutilate virgins.

I only got 14. :frowning:

Originally posted by Dragon Tear
[b]Cool. 19 out of 20.

20 out of 20 if you consider Allyekhrah a satanic nickname.

Excuse me now, I have to sacrifice a few virgins and mutilate goats. [/b]

One way or the other, it’s fun for everyone!

Is this site real? I hope not o.o;;

<b>“Nails grow, not because they are trying to make long-forgotten claws, but to ensure that if they are damaged in protecting our finger and toe tips, they will be replaced. We should praise God for the wonderful designer that He is and thank Him for nails!”</b>
Yes uh-huh most definately. I’m gonna scratch your eyes out now.

<b>“Today most dating has one purpose only – to have illicit sexual intercourse.”</b>
Yep, definately. Not going out of the house without having the assurance that I’ll get some alright.

<b>"(…) This is false. As we have described before, sex is a neutral force. It’s how you use it that makes it good or evil."</b>
So I can’t use sex as a weapon of mass destruction? Awww. (Anybody care to explain to me how the FUCK sex is good or evil? @_@) (pardon the pun)

<b>Q. Is there any truth to what I have heard that breast cancer is in some way related to abortion? And if so, do you think this is a vindication of God’s Word?
<u>Yes, there is now solid evidence that is true, </u>made more remarkable by the fact that the scientist leading this research, Janet Daling of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle, USA, is herself pro-abortion. </b>

<b>66. Did Adam and Eve Have Sex in the Garden of Eden? (removed)</b>
See, now THAT woulda interested me.

<b>Let our outward dress match your inward holiness; and if your inward holiness isn’t up to standard, then let your outer dress reflect the lofty goal you aspire to in Christ Jesus.</b>
Yay, I’ve always wanted to wear a cross.

<b>Islam was set up by Satan like every other counterfeit religion - to oppose the truth.</b>
<b>Matches and knives are dangerous to small children, and modern music to those who are older.</b>
<b><i>about atheism</i> The only way to respond to a mocking unbeliever is to throw a mirror back at him and to show him patiently, kindly, yet firmly how foolish his position is.</b>

No brainwash at all. Nooooo. Pure openmindedness as we love it these days. Definitly.

I sometimes wonder if they make those intentionally so that 90% of all teenagers will match more than half of those.


Looks like I’m the angel here, I only got four.

Lets see… I match 1, 2, 3, 4 (although the ‘reversal of norms’ isn’t as simplistic- I know what he really means is ‘duh, doesn’t think like a Christian’), 5 (specific Christians and certain ethics such as the fact if you took the Bible literal EVERYONE is damned), 6, 7, 8 (although I wonder how one could PRACTICE reincarnation… =p), 9, 11, 12, 13 (not anymore though), 14, 15, 16 (most of the time I do feel empathy, but… sometimes people just act like babies or fools or they got themselves into it… hard to empathize with them), 18, 19, 20.

  1. Hmph. I have 17. Same as Sin. I’m certain I have different ones than him, though. I doubt he has any interest in the occult whatsoever, for instance.

I don’t self-mutilate, do drugs or have an interest stuff like ESP. I think its hogwash.

I didn’t know DT was into those.

  1. Possession of specific Satanism-related items, which might include knives (especially daggers and knives with bizarre or medieval handles and blades), small pots, cauldrons, or incense burners; special salts or herbs; bells or gongs; tribal drums; animal parts; bones; candles; incense; amulets; talismans; charms.
    Well crap…I’m no longer allowed to make seasoned chicken without worshiping Satan!
  1. Obsession with fantasy rôle-playing games, such as Dungeons and Dragons.
    Well, we all got hit for one, huh?

2, maybe 3 depending on your interpretation of one of them.

And I was unaware that DT like treating people and animals inhumanely! :open_mouth: Or maybe it was the vandalism part.

Drat. I only get 6, if that.

Dis looks like it’s TOTAL crap.

I got six: 2, 4,7,10,11,12.

I think it’s total bollocks that if you have a sword you’re a satanist.