Relationship help please

Oh oh oh oh?

Sometimes it’s fun to play the devil’s advocate about things like this.

Mary can offer you some things that other girls can’t, such as at the least an attempt to trust, and other girls can offer you some things that Mary can’t, such as a kiss and phone sex. Until Mary can offer you these things, you’re going to continue to at least desire them from other girls.

One of you has to change; as everyone’s already said, you could stop “fucking around,” but similarly Mary could change by providing you with whatever it is that you need that’s causing you to seek pleasure through other women. I’m not blaming Mary for your being unfaithful, just questioning the mutual benefits of the relationship and whether or not you consider them worthwhile.

Sorry if this leads the conversation into a more personal direction.

The love doctor has spoken.

I’m still waiting for a creative response from SK. Where has he been anyways? Haven’t seen him around forever…

For you, Hades

SK’s Invincible Advice To The Lovelorn: “All you need to do is lose all your morals and ethics, get an asinine yet “unique” hairstyle (the more fucked up the better - preferably throw some dye in there), wear “stylish” clothes which you first need to steal out of the Salvation Army bin, slap on a pair of expensive sunglasses, hug/grope everyone you see as a way of greeting (especially men - for some reason the women think this is a really cool thing to do; don’t ask me why), say in a husky voice absolutely idiotic things that sound meaningful (if you need help coming up with sufficiently idiotic things, read the Cliff Notes to any Ayn Rand book), talk in a faux accent (it doesn’t matter which one), keep repeating that society sucks and that love and friendship are all meaningless social constructs that have no value, namedrop every philosopher you’ve ever heard of (and every one you haven’t), and lastly, talk about fucking in the most lewd and lascivious manner in front of women (you can and should ask them to fuck you, the first time you meet them, but only after groping everyone who is present, then talking for a little while about how society sucks). Obviously, this might take a little practice in front of the mirror at home, and you might need to diet a little if you’re overweight (no need to be ashamed of that, it’s easy to fix anyway), but it’ll pay off. I guarantee that within a month you’ll have to fend the women off with a pointy stick. The only drawback is that I will hit you very, very hard if I see you, but even that will only get you more women in the end.”

pkt, she can provide it’s just that I don’t see her that often. I haven’t even talked to the girl from the dance since then and the other girl lives farther away than Mary does (Mary’s about a 15-20 minute drive from me).

I don’t blame Mary for this either. She’s never done anything to me that would warrant me doing this to her and that’s one of my problems.

I’m working on not fucking up in the future. Hopefully I’ll be better at it this time 'round.

Dude am I glad I don’t go with you. You’d be on such a short leash you wouldn’t even be looking at another chick, let alone have the opportunity to want and kiss one. All I can do is shake my head and wag my finger at you because you did a serious no-no in my book.

*whipping sound


I know, but it’s fun to have control >> When he likes it, why not? I encourage you boys to do the same with your girlfriends. Tee hee.

You do those things and you say you are too faithful :noway: Man, we’ve found the root of the problem! You’ve got to rethink your concepts!

Simply NOT doing those things would not give you many points in the faithfulness chart already. Being faithful is much more than that. Either you give Mary, or your next girlfriend, exclusivity rights on you, or consider yourself a cheater.

If you think you can’t comply with this, break up with her and join a Swing Club (I hope you don’t have plans for moving to Phoenix).

Clearly, she can’t provide everything, even if it’s that she can’t provide herself as often as you’d like to see her.

Assuming that because you’re so adamant about convincing us you want to be with Mary, I’m glad you’ve taken the first step: admitting that there is a problem and that you need to change. From here, do what you know you must.

If she ever decides to trust you again, it’s not going to happen overnight and there’s no quick fix to the solution that we would be able to provide.

Dumbass<!-- …what? -->

Shave your head and swear off women and meat. Sell everything you own. Eat only things you grow yourself or have truely earned though hard labor. Meditate 3 hours a day and wear cloathing only made out of hemp. Do this untill you die, or reach enlightenment.

but seriously

Lemme get this straight, your girlfriend somehow things your unfailfull to her, JUST because you made out and had phone sex WITH TWO DIFFERENT GIRLS! Some people have trouble getting girls to talk to them, much less go out with them, and here you are kissing and having phone sex with other girls. She has a right to be mad, and im suprized she didn’t dump your stupid ass when she found out. From your first post, you don’t even seem like you think you did anything wrong. You have a lot of growing up to do and you shouldn’t even have a serious girlfriend right now if this is the way your going to act.

And what exactly did you think we were going to tell you? “Oh it sounds like she’s overreacting, just tell her to shut up and get over it, and continue making out with other girls, just be sure to remind her that they mean nothing to you, and she should continue to buy it.”

So let me get this straight. You kissed another girl and had phone sex with another, you said would consider leaving her except for two things, adn your girl friend is pissed at you for the first two reasons? That bitch. How could should mistrust? I mean, it’s clear that you are totally faithful to her. Don’t worry, she’s jsut overreacting. Once she realizes that she’s wrong and you did nothign wrong, she’llf orgive you. You’re the victim here.

Alright, now that you’ve heard what you want to hear. Here’s my feelings (yes, this may sound liek a broken record), you should try to make it work and stop doing stupid shit like that. If she hasn’t broken up with you by now, she probably wants to be with you. One of the things you have to realize is that you aren’t all that faithful. You say that you are way too faithful to break up with her or anything like that, but you aren’t, if you were, you wouldn’t do things like kissing and having phone sex with girls you don’t like. Think about it this way, if she had done that with two other guys, how would you feel? What would you want to happen? It’s alright to have some thoughts about other girls, but you have to restrain yourself. Afterall you are only human and only a guy, but you have to resist. Just ebcause somebody angers you doesn’t mean that you hit them. And just ebcause you find a girl attractive doesn’t mean you kiss her. I want to make it clear though that just ebcause I said having those sort of thoughts about other girls is antural, doesn’t mean it’s something that you should be doing all the time.

I knew I fucked up. I never said I didn’t. As for what you were going to say I didn’t expect to hear that she’s overreacting. I just needed to get this out and see if you people could help me out a bit.

sigh of enjoyment

Thanks Sin, those words flow through my ears like this morphine flows through my veins! injects

Then ignroe the first part of what I said and read the second.

AUGH, remind me never to take YOU out on a date :stuck_out_tongue: That’s like, the worst PART about girls :stuck_out_tongue:

I say you find a really slutty girlfriend who doesnt care about that kind of stuff, and will be a willing participant in a three-some.

<img src=>yeah right buddy, i’ve been barking up that tree for 15 years.

No that’s only my boyfriend! I treat all my men on the side really good!

Now that that’s out of the way, yeah I echo everything everyone else said. i can’t believe I didn’t even say this the first time. You shouldn’t really be in a relationship if you’re asking us for help. Clearly, the situation is spelt out for you- you messed up, with two other girls no less, and it’s up to you to get your head out of your ass and not do that. What can we say to make it better? If you know what you did, go fix or work on your problem.