I don’t do either of those any more ClothHat 
I don’t see what’s wrong with masturbating. I mean, it’s a normal thing to do. I’d only be worried if someone did it like, 5+ times a day.
Most pragmatic answer: ask her.
Wow, and some of us were actually discussing this at work the other day.
Drawing a line for the porn thing is different for everyone, because different people have different sets of values. However, when a person is in a relationship (or not, even) and the porn becomes a substitution for human interaction or absolutely necessary for being aroused, generally there’s a problem and that’s where a line should be drawn… or if it involves kids. Yes, porn involving kids is bad, very bad. I guess I have the opinion that people are going to look at some form of porn eventually just out of curiousity, so I’m not going to hold it against someone.
I wouldn’t stop a guy I’d be seeing from checking it out, as I don’t really have issues with it other than how a lot of it portrays women as nonliving things whose purpose is to please a man, but if he preferred it to me or compared me to it, he’d be out on his ass. Hell, I dated a guy who practically had a library of porn, and I didn’t care since he picked me over it anytime, no contest.
Yeah its cheating.
Alyx you tease… wheres the link to the porn?
I don’t consider it cheating since i use porn myself and can understand why its used and that usually the real thing is preferred.
Watch porn.
Do not get laid.
That’s my policy. At least when I feel like being mean.
But I don’t care really, as long as he doesn’t care also.
With a title like that, it’s most certainly a geek magnet.
Anyway, although it might damage a relationship if 1 party doesn’t approve of it, I don’t see how porno can actually lead to breakups except in extreme circumstances.
You may end up with a kick/fist/slap or she dumps you if you go wrong.
Big Nutter
(Thinks about posting Mayl with Hammer)
Tifa
Not humanly possible, but oh so right :mwahaha: !
Porn is bad and I’m guilty and it makes me feel terrible but there’s nothing I can really do but try to stop, and lately I’ve barely glanced at any, so yay.
“It’s different for a man, we HAVE to do it, it’s part of our lifestyle…like…shaving.”
And I dunno what it is, but generalizations like this have just really been pissing me off lately. For one thing, this statement isn’t limited to men, and for another it makes us sound like sexual drones who weren’t made for any other purpose, like we’re not even capable of thinking beyond the realm of sex.
I’ll do it tactfully. And no, I’LL waste Keenspace’s bandwidth using off-site image linking, thank you very much.
Hey hades, this is my post saying “fuck you”
I don’t look at any really. I know a few sites and I’ll make people pay a coupla bucks to get a link from me, but that’s for the money nowadays. It’s kinda lost its fun once you get a girlfriend.
I think watching porn in a relationship COULD be a sign that something is missing. I personally have never felt the desire to watch it when I was in a relationship, and I’d hold the girl I was with to the same standard. However, checking other people out and even flirting with them (if done in a harmless way) doesn’t bother me at all.
It really does differ from person to person. You gotta communicate about it. RC said it best, but it’s too late for me to go back and quote him now, so read it yourselves.
Wow. I can’t believe it. I agree completely with Hades. The universe shall now collapse.
But it’s not MEANT to sound like that. You know? Just because you as a male have sex hormones surging through your body all the time doesn’t mean you can’t do other things too. It just means that these urges are a natural part of being a guy, and that SOMETIMES we’re not even capable of thinking beyond the realm of sex. Doesn’t mean all the time.
Like, look. When guys look at porn, it’s not an emotional, or intellectual thing. When I look at it, the most attached I ever get to the girls in it is, “huh, she’s hot.” Sometimes it’s not even that - most of the time, there’s absolutely no thought at all. My judgment and my emotions are a blank void; there’s only hormones and physical sensation.
I mean, this is clear to me because, sometimes I’ll watch some stuff and remember that I thought it was pretty hot, and then I’ll remember the actual content of it and go, “ugh, gross…ugh.” Like Vicki said, pornography really does objectify women, and if you’re like me and think that’s morally wrong, then to imagine yourself beating off to it just shoots you into this spiral of self-deprication; never mind, if your girlfriend imagines you beating off to it, she’ll be totally disgusted as well. And the way I kinda, got past the moral wrong feelings, was to realize that, for me, the realm of porn and the realm of real women were two completely separate things. The realm of porn is where I go when I need to jerk off, and the realm of real women is where I go when I want emotional, social, intellectual, yadda yadda fulfillment and interaction. I guess also when I want sex, but you girls gotta understand, you aren’t around all the time to give guys sex whenever they need it, or maybe guys feel uncomfortable saying to you, “I have this sudden urge to have sex with you, so let’s drop everything we’re both doing and get it on,” cause that makes the guy look totally unreasonable and idiotic, but the thing is, a guy’s drive for sex is this reptilian thing which can’t be reasoned with, completely unrelated to the need for love in most guys’ minds.
If you (as a girlfriend) see yourself as existing to soothe a guy’s drive for sex, and not the need for love, then…well, yeah, duh, you’re gonna feel bad about yourself when he chooses pornography over you; that’s why you need to realize that it’s not what you’re there for (more on this). You’re there to love him - and I have never met a single guy who has looked at porn for emotional, love-related gratification.
Now, here’s where the bad part of porn comes in. I think, for a lot of guys, watching it gives us this tendency to assume that girls (our girlfriends) are there for the sole purpose of sexual gratification, which is wrong and untrue, but it can have a really negative impact on their girlfriends when they treat them like that. That in turn can make the girlfriend assume that it’s true, that she is really just there for the physical/sexual satisfaction of her boyfriend, and that just creates this cycle of bad feeling when her boyfriend looks at pornography to satisfy a need that she (mistakenly) thinks is the main reason she’s there.
Yeah. I guess just, I think it’s okay if a guy looks at porn when he’s in a relationship with a girl, but only if they both have a clear understanding that their relationship goes much deeper, and satisfies much different (and more important) things than just sex.
Well, if you hadn’t taken the quote completely out of context you’d realise that it was from Seinfeld, a humour sitcom.
I think porn is funny. I haven’t ever found any porn, whether meant for men or women even remotely arousing. I don’t care if my husband looks at porn for whatever reason. We have a look but don’t touch rule.
Maz, I love the way you put things sometimes. =)