“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU” it was my eleventh birthday and it was the day I would get my first pokemon it was time for prof oaks present he gave it to me it was a pidgy a stupid pidgy. I said thank you for it even know I didn’t like it. I was told to go out and to catch some pokemon with my stupid pidgy.
What do you think.
Now I get the feeling you’re just messing around.
It’s genius. I want more.
I think you need more punctuations, new lines and longer chapters.
And thinking about what you are going to write before posting it is a good idea too.
(So you just don’t post something and then leave it…)
I know. I’ll write the next chapter.
Proofessir ok’s pokemon was sad I didn’t want it so I traded it to this musterious guy who gave me a strange pokemon and togethor we took over the world the end.
Man, at least kyle spelled most of his words correctly 
clears throat Yes, I know this will be hypocritical. But I couldn’t resist.
<img src=“http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-12/532522/detour.gif” width=108 height=158>
dT I’d like to look at that picture but It gives a you’ve exceded your daily limit message.
Videospirit that was actualy my plot
.I left the town with my stupid pokemon ,when a rattata attacked me.My pidgy went to do combat ,it used gust flinging it to the tree when the rattata did bite, this carried on till the rattata fainted “You killed my pokemon so take this” shouted a black clothed man with an r at the front who I remembered from the newspaper as he threw a punch at me the pidgy attacked I closed my eyes and imagined him being charged by rhinos I opened my eyes and he was dead by a charge of invisible rhinos.
They will be short
Periods kid. Punctuation. Use 'em. Don’t just make the shit run all together like one big ass sentence.
POCKETO MONSTA!!!
This is insanely giggle-worthy.
Question: How is it that there are more people responding to this story than are even looking at mine?
Because we all like pokemon stories with no plot, no punctuation and blatant spelling mistakes better than any of your stories. Obviously.
Smartass. Of course, that being the case puts me on about the lowest level of fanfiction writing in existance, which is quite depressing.:too bad; I’m going to go kill myself now. Later all.
Originally posted by demigod
Smartass. Of course, that being the case puts me on about the lowest level of fanfiction writing in existance, which is quite depressing.:too bad; I’m going to go kill myself now. Later all.
Hey, Wait! I’ll join ya…
I think it’s a question of you needing far less help than kyle here, GG 
Originally posted by demigod
Smartass. Of course, that being the case puts me on about the lowest level of fanfiction writing in existance, which is quite depressing.:too bad; I’m going to go kill myself now. Later all.
…you DO know what sarcasm is, right?
Kyle, periods and many other punctuations are there to seperate thoughts. when your done one thought, like pidgey doing gust, or rattata doing bite, but a period after it. You can also replace many ands with periods. it may seem choppy at first, but I think it might look better. and if you going to do a fic in the pokemon world, replace animals, like rhinoes, with the proper pokemon, like a ryhorn or rhydon. don’t mix real stuff with fiction. and consider doing one project at a time. stick with this one if you can, as I believe its your best yet. and I suppose you can have a character with wierd powers in a world that contains psychics. I know just realize how sad it is that I know so much about teh pokemon world and stuff. really sad. :thud:
And why is it sad? I’m more than triple Kyle’s age (assuming he really is 11) and I’m a Pokemon Fan, too. I’ll admit there are things about the TV show that drive me nuts (repetitive plots, too much touchy-feely stuff, the STUPIDEST villains ever, etc) but I like many of the Pokemon concepts, and I love playing the games. Just watch me, I’ll write a Pokemon story here one of these days.
Oh, and give the kid a break, OK? If he’s 11, he deserves it. You guys should see the stuff I used to write at HIS age. Yikes
And Kyle, do follow our advice: keep the sentences apart, and add more detail. Practice makes perfect. Good luck.
