Now this is strange and full of shit.

I just got a call from a girl that I have no clue who she is and says that I’m the father of her unborn child. Very strange call, and out of no where. Her dates are all jacked up though since she is still in California and I have rarely been in California the last couple of years. There are also some more technical things that don’t play out that I won’t get into. However, I’m definitely confused on how she got my name and number. Funniest part yet is that she says that there is video of said encounter. Very strange call out of no where.

Have you donated sperm to a sperm bank any time lately?

Were you drunk and/or stoned for any extended period time?

Do you have any friends who could be fucking with you? You know, for your birthday and all.

Never. Plus she says we actually did it (and there is a video). Her dates don’t line up either since she says the baby is due in December, which puts said action in Feb/Mar/Apr time frame, but I was in Texas at that time, not Cali. It is just strange how much she knows about me.

Now that is an idea, but I have no idea who would and I don’t recognize her from the picture she sent me (could be fake though).

It’s probably a prank. An unsettling prank if this person knows stuff about you, and you’ll probably never figure out who’s behind it, but a prank none the less.

Can I see the video?

Sounds like a prank to me. I’d ask for the video for shits and giggles.

That was my first reaction.

She was actually surprised I didn’t have the video. The only reason this is annoying is because of the stuff she knows and if she goes to the Army about it, it’ll make things much harder in my life (the Army can make me provide until it is proven to not be mine). If it wasn’t for the Army, I’d just be like “fuck it,” but the Army could get involved if she wants (not very good for my career or my wallet). I wish I knew who was joking around though.

There is no sense in arguing. The burden of proof is on her. Make her show you the evidence.


And then post the evidence on here. For scientific purposes.

So surprised she declined to send you a copy, huh. How often do you get blackout drunk?

Its important to endorse science.

we all wanna see your weeeeenerrrrr

I smell bullshit. Unless she’s got some rock solid evidence, I wouldn’t worry too much. Speaking of, why exactly is there a “supposed” video?

Sometimes, Ultra, when mommies and daddies love each other very much, they make a film of them making love. So that it can be sold to the internet after the break up/divorce.

On one hand, most of us have seen you get assfuck blind drunk and post incoherent babble you later have no memory of, but so long as she doesn’t have any proof and you’re sure you were too far from the location to stumble there in a drunken haze AND get some pussy, you’re safe. I call it friends fucking with you as well.

If it’s true, then at least let us know what the hell is it that you’re drinking, because it ought to be some good shit.