And finally, locked with a deep deep vault for all eternity otherwise known as my fserv lies the most egotistical, mysogynist, racist, arrogant monster of an author I have ever read. ever.
Glad to see your nose for finding these things hasn’t been too assaulted by my… gift, earlier. Here’s another high-concept Mary-Sue right here, just the DESCRIPTION of it had me running miles… http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1847517
That Amy woman and her “Lorelei” has had me banging my head against the wall repeatedly. “She has all the MS qualities but she’s not an MS because I say so!!!11!!!eins”
Bull. Shit. Your fanfiction licenced is hereby revoked :-p
And the X-Men one… where did I put that wall dent again? :-/
I also found the perfect reviewing tool, the Badfic Checklist! Cross where appropriate:
You are being flamed here because of:
_ Bad grammar
_ Bad spelling
_ Bad syntax
_ Jargon
_ Crappy OOCness
_ Bad slash
_ Bad het
_ Mary-sue
_ Canon rape
_ No formatting
_ No plot
_ Lack of English knowledge
_ Fangirl Japanese
_ Fangirl seks
_ Fangirl appearances
_ Humour that’s not funny
_ Clichéd plot
_ Self-insertion
_ Improbable character relationships
_ Disturbing events
_ Disregard to canon
_ Shallow OCs
_ Shallow Canons
_ Overly describing clothing but no description of scenery
_ Overly describing scenery
_ Adjective diarrhoea
_ Use of vibrator while typing
_ MPREG
You are:
_ stupid
_ an asswipe
_ a waste of genes
_ a waste of oxygen
_ 13 or under
_ a virgin for a reason
_ a bad writer
_ the village idiot from Texas
_ a whiny git
_ fuckwit
_ being MSTed
_ being mocked
_ other (please describe)
Closing Remarks:
_ Jump off a bridge
_ Go die under a rock
_ Put the vibrator away
_ Stop wanking to your posters
_ No one cares about your fantasy
_ Everyone thinks you’re an idiot
_ I hate you
_ Scientists should experiment on you
_ Don’t ever reproduce
_ other (please describe)
This flame will now fart in your general direction.
Kudos to the Godawful Fanfiction forums for dreaming this one up.
bah, you fools. Those Mary Sues are NOTHING compared to Koneko Bloodblossom, the Vampiric, Half-elven/half-Beastman Maiden/princess/ranger, who rides atop her closest friend and companion, Velvet Starlight, the Unicorn that brought her back from the brink of death when she wept over Knoeko’s untimely demise.
…God, I needed to down a full bottle of tequila to write that, and another two bottles to realize that I did create her.
Mary Sues are guilty pleasures. Heck, the first fic I ever started writing had a minor Gary Stu. He “only” was a direct descendant of Crono and Marle, ended up marrying Lucca, and generally got smacked around by every canon character at least once.
But there will never, EVER be a Mary Sue as bad as Marissa Flores Picard, the brainchild of Stephen Ratliff.
Marissa…
-was adopted by Jean-Luc after her parents die in a routine mission
-gets command of the Enterprise for having the best “Kobiyashi Maru” time in Starfleet history (not counting Kirk who successfully did the mission) at the age of 9
-beats Gul Dukat (DS9’s main villain) in her first mission with her “Kids’ Crew” at the age of 9
-becomes a princess of Essex on a British-like planet
-negotiates a treaty that stops a centuries-long feud
-saves Starfleet Command from a Romulan invasion
-becomes a Borg Queen
-wins the Belmont Stakes
-becomes a Sailor Senshi
A Mary Sue is when someone inserts themselves as a character into a story.
And the most annoying thing is that they are always perfect in every way, and one of the main characters is usually a close relative (being Elrond’s daughter seems like a favorite for LOTR Mary Sues) and there is usually another one that is the love interest (Legolas is the most common on LOTR).
The love interest is never on character, no matter how evil or nasty they are (e.g. HP: Draco Malfoy) they are always übermushy when it comes to the MS, and the MS usually gets away with impossible things. (Like the one DD described.)
And most MS stories fit into Pierson’s list.
And then I mean EVERY SINGLE THING!
Or if you want to see more examples, go to GodAwful…
“Read them and weep.”
Don’t forget that most of the time, the only thing described in detail in these stories, are the physical looks, clothes and makeup of the Sue. She’ll also have FANTASTIC POWERS that’ll keep everyone else IN AWE. The stupidest I can think of hearing about would be “And she can set fire on things by looking at them for a really, really long time!” No, I’m serious -_-;;
That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard all day.
Bear in mind though it’s possible to be a self-insertion and not a Sue, but impossible to be a Sue and not a self insertion. Some of Gals fics are nothing but self-insertions, and there’s no Sue-like behaivour there. Excepting maybe Genton’s ability to come back from the dead.
Okay, being a completely shittacular writer is bad enough, but seeing Pirates of the Caribbean TWELVE TIMES? Everybody, please donate through PayPal to buy this zombie a life. Assuming you think you can still save her (which I highly doubt).
In the quiet words of SomethingAwful, “It is bad”.
My sister’s convinced that Lina Inverse from “Slayers” is a Mary Sue. She’s 15, she’s the most powerful sorceress EV4R, she’s the only person who can cast the Giga Slave (a stronger version of the Dragon Slave which is supposed to be THE most powerful attack spell ever), she’s cute, and she has a bad attitude. The only thing missing is the fact that she’s the canon main character. :3
Yar: I have to agree. Of course, Slayers is SUPPOSED to be absurd- it’s those stories where we are supposed to take that kind of stuff seriously that makes me groan.
And a Mary Sue does NOT have to be based on the author. Any hyperblown character qualifies.
…But you know, I have to wonder WHY you people keep posting about them, if they’re SO bad!? Just ignore them, like I do.
Here’s another high-concept Mary-Sue right here, just the DESCRIPTION of it had me running miles… 
bah, you fools. Those Mary Sues are NOTHING compared to Koneko Bloodblossom, the Vampiric, Half-elven/half-Beastman Maiden/princess/ranger, who rides atop her closest friend and companion, Velvet Starlight, the Unicorn that brought her back from the brink of death when she wept over Knoeko’s untimely demise.
My sister’s convinced that Lina Inverse from “Slayers” is a Mary Sue. She’s 15, she’s the most powerful sorceress EV4R, she’s the only person who can cast the Giga Slave (a stronger version of the Dragon Slave which is