I have a new hobbie

And it´s a quite unhealthy one. I´m reading tabloids in a regular basis. Not the ones with news about celebrities, but rather those with bizarre news. I don´t know why, I´m simply attracted by everything that´s strange.

I´ve seen these news lately and I´d like to share them with you:

In NY, mafia guys foudn a way to save the money they´d be using for burials. They would get a coffin from someone who didn´t have anything to do with them, make a secret compartment in it and put a dead mafious man there. They obviously did it in a way people wouldn´t know about it. They would them seal and cover the secret compartment and the family who had bought the coffin (and would pay all the burial expenses) put their own dead in there. The thing was discovered when people started saying things like “dude, this man was some 80 lbs. when he was alive and we need 8 people to carry his coffin!”. Some families checked it, and there were two dead instead of only one in some coffins.

Jeffrey Weeks, astronomist, with colleagues from the University of Paris, discovered that the universe is shaped in the form of “curved pentagons, connected in a way that makes the universe look like a soccer ball”. (a soccer ball has hexagons too…)

A woman was found in Germany living with 152 animals. Mentally ill, she believed to be some kind of dr. Dolittle. The real problem is, most animals were diseased, her apartment was dirty with feces and piles of food, and the smell of the place disturbed her neighbours like hell.

Government in Chile is about to approve a law that would give workers the right to sleep at work, in the middle of the day, for 20 minutes. It´s the siesta (you know it if you ever went to Mexico).

Jimmy Chilcutt claims to have found evidence of the existance of the Yeti. He thinks the creature is a distant relative of bears. Okay, we all know this is the mother of all bullshits, but the news came originally from BBC and that´s what makes it so interesting.

Here in Brazil, the most interesting one was from a politician in São Paulo who wants to create a new holiday - the Vampires Day. It would be on August 13. I am not even commenting this one.

I like reading tabloids, it’s quite fun. There are some magasines sold here that I usually glance at and it’s amazing what these people can come up with. Reading conspiracies and hoaxes and all that lovable bullshit is very entertaining and interesting to me, so apparently I get off on the bizarre stories too. They usualyl fascinate me or make me giggle insanely whenever I read them. Good stuff, yep.

If everything those tabloids said was true, the world would have ended about six times over the past few years. :hahaha;

Originally posted by Ren
I´m reading tabloids in a regular basis.

::Smacks Ren over the head with a rolled up newspaper::

Originally posted by Evangelion
I like reading tabloids, it’s quite fun.

:Smacks Evangelion even harder::

The truth is out there. You just can’t see it because you don’t read tabloids!!

Originally posted by GG Crono 4
If everything those tabloids said was true, the world would have ended about six times over the past few years. :hahaha;
Six times over the past week.

Originally posted by Dark Paladin
[b]::Smacks Ren over the head with a rolled up newspaper::

:Smacks Evangelion even harder:: [/b]

I second that.

Hey they’re entertaining! I can’t help it if that stuff is humorous enough to occupy my mind. Everyone gets their kicks, ah? Doesn’t mean I believe any of that shit.:hahaha;

Originally posted by Evangelion
Hey they’re entertaining!

<img src=“http://www.geocities.com/strobalob/pscythe.txt”> We warned you.

Hehehe! Well, personally I’d rather go through humor sites, but as long as it’s funny, I may be willing to read it.

http://www.theonion.com/3939/top_story.html

:mwahaha:

Man, I’m so celbrating Vampire’s day along with a friend who’s sort of a vampire. (at least he claims to be one, but he can stand sunlight, and don’t have the strength of 20 men blah blah blah… So he’s probably not a fullblood…)
It will be a lot of fun, just to freak out another of my friends… :slight_smile:

As long as you don’t actually believe what’s being written, it’s not bad.

Originally posted by Phoenix Valkyrie
As long as you don’t actually believe what’s being written, it’s not bad.

Like I would believe that Satan’s face was witnessed in a very conspicious cloud formation just before the planes hit the World Trade Centers :stuck_out_tongue:

Tabloids are a complete waste of time, money and paper.

Originally posted by Phoenix Valkyrie
As long as you don’t actually believe what’s being written, it’s not bad.

Like our school newspaper’s horoscopes. Those are fun.

Originally posted by Sir Percival
Tabloids are a complete waste of time, money and paper.

Originally posted by Sir Percival
Tabloids are a complete waste of time, money and paper.

Hey, that’s what the internet is for. :hahaha;

Originally posted by demigod
Like our school newspaper’s horoscopes. Those are fun.

Weird Al - Your Horoscope for Today

Aquarius
There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss’s face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick

That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true. Where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you’ve got hanging in your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you’re an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they’re lying
If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today

That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That’s your horoscope for today

Ah weird Al, what comedy gems do doth provide…