Help zeppelin: Chinese Internet Dating

If you are looking for more than just the one date, I have to say #4 or #5, because going solely off what you’ve written about each of the ladies here, you seem most interested in/optimistic about them.

You don’t sound very enthusiastic about #1.
#2 comes off, in your description, as too materialistic and would care too much about what “stuff” you have (and how much she could get you to spend on her.)
#3 you make sound like she’s fishing for a husband Unless you WANT that (and you pretty clearly don’t), it’s probably not worth your time.
#6 Too young, and sounds like she’d just think of you as a status symbol, as her way of “keeping up with the Joneses” that are her friends.

Of course, if you’re just looking for one isolated date for shits and giggles, whatever, go with whoever you think is cutest/easiest/etc.

To all those suggesting 4 but then criticizing 3, 5, or 6 for their goals (primarily 6), note that Zepp got a feeling that 4 was a bit too excited about dating a white guy. In the past, I think he has said it’s a dream of many Chinese women to get a foreign boy and move abroad. Given the vibe he felt from 4, I don’t think she’s in different in that regard from 6, and to a lesser extent 3 or 5.

But I guess she speaks English so it’s okay.

That’s like complaining about white guys wanting to date asian girls.

Well we should complain about it. Damn miscegenaters!

I think it goes beyond the white guy that has a fetish for Asian girls. Just from that one line, I get the feeling that Zepp is describing the Chinese female equivalent of white guys who want to marry Japanese girls because they’ll then get to move to Japan and be awesome gaijin.


I think most of us just wonder what sort of story may come from this.

Let’s see…
#1 looks pretty and isn’t too young amongst the possible choices;
She’s poor, which may increase her desperation rate to give herself to one of those wondrous “white male guys”;
She came off as a bit dirty, raising even more the chances of easy sex, imo.

I think we have a winner here. What’s the point of writing a date report without the grand finale?

(yes, I’m shallow too, sorry ladies.)

Five and Four, if you’d ask me. But that’s just me. Just a blue-haired blonde-haired dude’s quip. Of course, I’d like to see how someone’d rate me like this in another forum with that picture on the left side of the screen X)

Of course, someone should make a thread where people generally tell about their online dating service experiences. Mere curiousity and boredom for them?

Let’s see…
1 should probably put out. While 4 may just be better due to what everyone is already saying.

Honestly, I’m just waiting to hear what may come of all this.

Yeah, I guess it is pretty weird. I should have added something about that in the thread. It is completely normal…actually, I’d say almost expected for someone with money or status to date girls as young as possible in China. I don’t really have either, but as a white foreigner I can basically pretend to have both and get away it. When I first came here, I actually tended to date girls my age or even a few years older than me. It seems the older I get, the more I’ve shifted younger and younger though… :ulty: not THAT young you pervs. But yeah, I pretty much exclusively date in the 18-21 range these days. There are some interesting cultural differences going on here. For example…#4 seems to be really popular, but I can guarantee you that if this survey were to be done amongst Chinese guys our ages, #4 would come in dead less. I hope Sun comes in here and gives his impressions (though of course any one person might not fit the “norm”) I think a few years ago, I would have found #4 really appealing for the same reasons you guys do. Personally, I find #2 and #6 the most attractive now, though #5 is a close second I’d say. I guess my tastes have been more “localized” But this isn’t about me!

>_> um…no comment. Actually…as a medical science research type guy, I’m wondering if you could comment on this research Sin: Have you head anything about this research? Cause after reading this, it pretty much just cemented my dream of waiting til I’m 40 to marry and find some hot young thing :ulty: But I know how this research can be really iffy…

No, but really, these are some incredible comments, haha. I don’t usually bother to put much thought into this process, certainly not into psychoanalyzing potential dates. This is fascinating stuff.

As for my motivation for this thread…well, to be honest, my first motivation is to provide an entertaining and potentially hilarious thread by embarassing myself in front of the world. So you should try to pick whatever girl you think would be the most entertaining to see and hear about, as I’m going to make a post (or perhaps more if things continue). I’m also stuck in a rut. I’ve had bascially three and a half years of unsucessful relationships here in China. I normally meet girls in the old, traditional way, through friends, work, acquatainces, at the bar…whatever. This way, I can get to know someone, check up on their references with other people who know them, etc. before making the final decision. Tons of Chinese people do it the other way though, so I thought I’d give it a try to. Just be aware that the descriptions I provided about all of the girls above could be completely wrong. They are pretty much just first impressions, and I’ve only talked to each of them once or twice, except for #4. For example, maybe #1 likes to read Sartre translated into Chinese in her free time; somehow I doubt it, but anything is possible. The fun part about this is that I could be wrong, and I haven’t been genuinely surprised in a while. Of course, surprises can just as likely lead to disaster (and hilarity). Regardless of what happens…I’m probably just going to end up asking out the one I want anyway (:ulty:#6:ulty:). In the name of entertainment and unbending devotion to the masses, however, I will go with the group decision.

Just to clarify something as well: I can speak Chinese, so the ability to speak English is not a necessity. In fact, since I opened up my QQ profile a couple of weeks ago, I’ve received over a hundred messages (some from guys too…:gaybear:), but I’ve disqualified any girls that initially messaged me in English, even if they were really attractive, mostly just because it pisses me off when Chinese people assume I don’t speak or read/write Chinese. It also throws up some warning signs to me when a girl wants to “show off” her English to me. I haven’t actually dated a girl that can speak a respectable level of english in well over a year though, so maybe it’s time to give it a shot again. I might go and check out some of the messages again when this is all over with.

So it seems at the moment that #4 and #5 are the clear favorites, though I’ve seen a couple reasonable arguments for #1 as well. So unless there are any objections, I am now going to widdle down the candidates to #1, #4, and #5. For round two, I will go through their QQ profiles and translate some of the info and paste up a bit more of a detailed profile. Also, just remember that I can’t promise I will actually get a date with the girl who is chosen. QQ is not a or an It’s more like a hybrid cross between myspace/facebook and MSN. So it’s entirely possible I might not be able to get them to agree, and they’re just looking for internet chatting or something. Of course, given my smooth and suave nature, I think I can pull it off. Either way, if the first choice doesn’t work out, I’ll move down the list to the second choice.

I’ve punched most of these girls in the vagina

We’ll start with girl number 4’s profile here:

Girl Number 4

What kind of friend are you looking for?
Appearance: Tall
Most important feature: eyes
Personality: humorous and witty
Hobbies: chat on the internet, make friends

Favorite movie: Kung Fu Hustle
Type of movie: Comedies
Favorite TV show: Don’t Love Me (Note: it’s a popular soap opera)
Type of TV show: Korean soap operas (kind of like the mexican soap operas in the States, but more popular)

Car (cars are a very important status symbol in china right now - it can tell a lot about someone’s personality as well

What car do you currently own? Audi (this likely means her father is a government official - most of them in China drive Audis. of course, this is not HER car, but her father’s)
Favorite type of car: Sports car
What is your dream car? BMW


Most beautiful place you have been: 张家界 (Zhang Jia Jie - it’s a scenic spot in Hunan Province famous for misty mountains and vertical rock structures)
Place you want to go: Shangri-la (not a real place obviously)
Ideal vacation spot: Hawaii

Food (food is absolutely at the center of Chinese culture, so it’s an improtant category)

Favorite type of food: Jiangsu Style (Jiangsu is a coastal province north of Shanghai. It is one of the wealthiest provinces in China, and the Yangtze river runs through it. It is her home province)
Favorite dish: Steamed pork in plum sauce
Last restaurant you visited: Pizza Hut
Favorite fast food: KFC
Favorite drink: Coca-Cola


Favorite type of book: Romantic / Passionate
Favorite author (Tagore - I have no idea who this is - I looked it up on wikipedia, it seems to be this guy: - any help here? I guess she must be reasonable well-read)
Magazines: Women’s health and fashion magazines


Favorite sport: Athletics / Track and Field
Which sport are you most skilled in? Athletics / Track and Field
Favorite superstar: Yao Ming
Favorite sports brand: Anta (some chinese brand, not really familiar)

I’ll update this post as I keep going. It takes a while.

Girl Number 1

Describe yourself

Age: 19 (sorry, I got her age wrong in the first post - she is younger than I thought)
Height: 5’3"
Weight: 45kg (about 100 pounds)
Current status: Free and enjoying life (kind of a wordy way of saying single obviously)
Occupation: working and studying at the same time
Education: Vocational school (for students who don’t want to attend university, they attend a special kind of high school that caters more to doing simple kinds of jobs)
Blood Type: O (Many Chinese people believe blood type determines personality)

What kind of friend are you looking for?

Height: 5’8" - 5’10"
Weight: 60-70kg
Age: 23-26
Education: Graduated high school or above

Girl 1 has not written anything about herself. she does, however, have hundreds of pictures of herself on her QQ. I guess she feels her looks are sufficient? Here are a couple more pictures then I guess:

Hello armpit hair. Chinese girls don’t shave their pits.

Edit: Because I am super leet, I managed to track down her 51 webpage (51 is another web portal similar to QQ). I’m starting to feel like a stalker. Here is some more info

What kind of friend are you looking for

Drinks: socially
Smokes: doesn’t smoke (good luck - basically all chinese boys smoke - I don’t however)
Fashion: Normal fashion
Who pays on the date? Decide when the time comes (I highly doubt this - hardly any young Chinese girl would ever pay for a date, though I suppose things might be changing with the younger generation)
Is it ok if he had a girlfriend before? Yes (this might seem like a ridiculous question, but China is still quite conservative with regards to these things. Most girls wouldn’t care, but many guys would care)
Blood Type: O
Personality: honest, sense of responsibility, shows filial obedience

About yourself

Current feeling: I wish my teacher wouldn’t be so strict. I hope I can find a good job in this seconomy.
Scariest feeling in your life: When I left Shanghai by myself for one week
Dream: To have a happy life with my future husband

Girl Number 5
Describe yourself

Age: 22
Height: 5’9" (same as me)
Weight: 53kg
Drinks: Never
Smokes: Never
Hometown: An Hui Province (an inland province on China - very very poor place)
Blood Type: AB
Education: College (similar to like a 2-year college or associate’s degree in the US)
Life motto: Never give up
Current desire: Wants to learn English

What kind of friend are you looking for?

Drinks: Socially
Smokes: Never
Personality: Enjoys leisure time
Location: anywhere
Who pays on the date? The man, obviously
Is it OK if he has past relationship experience? Prefers not to have
Personality: treats me well

She doesn’t have any other info filled in. However, we had a short conversation yesterday, and generic angst wanted me to ask her about her favorite books. these were her answers.

What’s your favorite book? Harry Potter
Which one? Goblet of Fire
Favorite character: Hermione
Why? She is a strong girl, and I really respect her

She also seems to have hundreds of pictures of herself, so here’s a couple more:

sorry, couldn’t help myself with the last one. I have a dirty mind.

@ the description of #4: uuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I take back everything I said. About #1: I have strict standards on personal maintenance. I am merciless. I’m surprised you’re not more forceful yourself.

Re: your question: correlation doesn’t prove causation. The age of the bride doesn’t affect the health of the guy. Its a lot more likely that the guys who can pick up these younger girls are not representative of the norm. Its likely they’re in better health and belong to a different socio - economic group than the ones that normally meets an early death. The bride is an indicator, its a reflection of your personal situation, not something that actively influence it (placebo effect aside). For future reference:

Tagore doesn’t really shine too much in translation, in my opinion. He’s basically an Indian modernist/postmodernist, whose writing is somewhat marred by an unfortunate level of topicality. I’d say it’s basically only really worth getting into if you’re interested in Indian history and culture, or can actually read Hindi, in which it might be far better. He’s pretty romantic, sometimes satirical and sometimes downtrodden, and generally writes about personal identity and conflict through the lenses of his county’s religion and culture.

I figured as much :frowning: Oh well, not like I ever needed reasons to rationalize my behavior before anyway.

Also, regarding the personality profiles. Chinese girls in general don’t have the most fascinating personalities. Most of them write the same old shit, there really aren’t too many differences. When you actually sit down and talk with them though, they tend to reveal a bit more. There’s a lot of emphasis here on being viewed as “normal”, or not outside the standard deviation. So everyone writes the same things, even if they aren’t exactly true.

People writing normal things on their public dating profiles?


That’s weird, I thought Girl 4 was the most physically attractive of the bunch. Maybe because she’s the only one smiling?

EDIT: What’s interesting is that studies have shown you can actually tell a lot about people’s real personality, and behavior, from their facial features. So your instincts based purely on the girl’s looks will probably be right. Obviously, also having the opinions of everyone else will help finetune judgements.

Also… is it really that easy for a Western guy to find a girl in China? I remember you saying that all their romance novels mostly feature Western men as the heros.

EDIT: My pick would be #3, because I find the whole ‘virginal country girl’ thing more in tune with my own personality(serious, prudish, etc.). She has a very serious look on her face, which leads to me to think she may be intense(not sure if you find that attractive when it comes to women). She also has the softest features, and on second look, I think she’s more attractive than #4.

I stand by my suggestion that you stick them in a room together and let them fight to the death. Whoever wins is obviously the best choice.

As long as it’s not about you and the girl, the 3-year unsuccessful stint will probably continue.

5’s profile sounds like someone who idealizes Western culture. An Asian version of our Japanophiles if you will. I think you can get with her easier than the others.

4 seems to be the kind of person who wants to experience the world but from the comfort of her living room. She sounds the opposite of what I initially thought. She may be alright to date but in a relationship I think she’ll be high maintenance.

1 sounds more pratical to date but doesn’t sound like she has many, if any, future aspirations. She seems to have settled for getting a quick job and earning money sooner versus getting a degree in something.

The personality bit in the ‘Looking for friends’ section tells me she wants a traditional guy.