How do you wear yours?
OH SHIT! I forgot the handlebar!
Moderator, please fix at once!
Thank you forever, Rhaka!
I think my choice is fairly obvious.
That said, I used to have chops until I shaved them off a week and a half ago for various job interviews to look professional. I shall now proceed to grow them back in. I’m a baby face without any bit of hair on or around my face. 
real men have no hair
like <i>me</i>
Homosexual.
I’ve sported the full goatee for some years now and I never tire of it.
hobosexual.
I don’t like any facial hair, but I hate having to shave every day.
Full beard, aka “can’t be arsed to shave”. Quite fun as I recently went for a chrome dome look on the top so face and head are the exact same length right now. 
Clean shaven. I work at a respectable company, not some fast food hole.
Zero means homosexual.
Homosexual.
And I still can’t believe Cro is younger than me.
Same, only instead of years, it’s just months.
Except that I find that assessment offensive, childish and retarded.
Some would even call that assessment <i>gay</i>.
Because shaving every day would involve effort in the mornining, I have manly stubble that I shave just before it reaches the point where I have to go to the barbers. That’s every two fucking weeks with a really good razor. Guh. Stupid puberty.
Unless I have some occasion, then I shave (even though stubble always appears before I reach it. Jesus, it takes like, less than an hour!)
Edit: I don’t, however, know which of the options that fits, beyond sexy (but it’s not a tache 
)
A face full of hair! It’s Patchy, scruffy, fuzzy, funny, and it makes the women go WILD
My facial hair grows very quickly and thickly, so I would probably choose heavy beard if anything. Definitely not a goatee.