Now this is ironic, becuase this is the kind of action that I would have condemned. This is entirely true. Feel free to laugh if you must.
Earlier today I was having trouble getting to sleep. So my mom decides to remind me tht I have a promise to mow the lawn for five bucks.
Fine with me, mowing the lawn isn’t too bad and it’s five bucks. I want some ice cream.
So I go and start the mower (it’s gas-powered) and go mowing the lawn. It is rather uneventful, except for having to refull the gas tank because it emptied.
Otherwise nothign happens. Until my mower gets stuck. Yuo see, there’s a tree in my front law that I was trying to mow around, that for some reason had a wire sticking out of the ground next to it.
So the back wheel gets stuck in the wire.
Now, what I’m thinking about during this excersize is: a Cold Shower (Especially in this heat), Ice Cream, HArry Potter (No lie), the fact that Weiila is probably in bed without a kitty to snuggle with, and getting the mower free.
What I am NOT thinking about: The mower.
Thus, I forget the first commandment of mower safety: If thou desire to raise thy grass-cutting machine, thou shalt ensure that thee has released the lever which makes the engine go, and let it stop.
That’s right kiddies. I had the throttle on (both hands, give me some credit), and pushing the mower up and away from me to free the mower from the wire. What happens is quite predictable.
Wire gets caught in mower. Mower throws wire away with enough force to bust my leg open like an overripe melon.
Which is exactly what it does. My left leg, under the knee and to the right about two inches, gets broadsided with a wire doing at least 30 miles and hour. 50 I’m willing to bet.
NOW I let go of the throttle. And go limping in to deal with what is a pretty nasty welt and bruise. Cold pack, H2O2, cotton balls, anything I can reach that can help. It hurts like all holy hell.
But there is a happy ending: After taking care of my leg, and sitting in front of a fan to rest, cool off, and deal with my leg, I finished the lawn. I got my shower, I got my money, I got my ice cream, I got some pudding on top of that, then I went to bed and slept like a happy kitty.
My leg still hurts, and there is a rather ugly welt, btu it’s not too bad. It’s actually kind of funny because I shouldn’t have been doing it in the first place, but hell… it could have been a lot worse.
Moral of the story? points to the title