Entertain me, my subservient minions

Dude, WTF. :open_mouth:


So this Englishman is standing on the soapbox, ranting indiscriminately. He says, “Show me an Irishman, and I’ll show you a coward!”

This big burly guy in the crowd stands up and says, “I’m an Irishman.”

The guy on the soapbox says, “I’m a coward!” and runs away.

Is it just me, or does that girl look a bit stoned?









You have to be high to make your hair look like that. ::doh::

goes to try

Don’t forget to get high first.

Thats an important step.

The scottish have very mixed feelings over Global warming you know. Because, they can sit on top of the mountains and watch the English drown.
And they’re all.
“More pineapple Hughey?”
“Accchh, no, I’m grand, I’ve got a cocunut here.”

Bad ways to start a party political broadcast:
“As you’ll know, the football is on the other channel.”
“I believe my party’s ideals can best be expressed…in soooooooooonnnng!

Nelson Mandella was in jail for thirty years before they found out the truth about him and made him president. Sort of like George W. Bush, only in reverse.

Non mais, c’est quoi ça t’prend pour t’entertainer, tabarnak ?! :stuck_out_tongue:



My favorite channel is the Lifetime channel because Lifetime is “Television for women. Lifetime, television for women.” Yet for some reason, there’s always a woman getting beaten on that network. "Meredith Baxter gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, “Rod.”

I was watching Animal Planet, did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, “Why don’t they just call that the female seahorse?” You know it’s just some stubborn scientist. “Yeah, that one there’s the male seahorse.” “Uh, Bill, that one’s having a baby.” “…the male has the baby. You’re fired.”

You think when gym teachers were younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach…but I don’t want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?” I can’t believe we got grades in gym class, I’ve never used anything I learned in there. “All right, I’m standing in front of a room full of strangers, based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy.”

Male seahorses still have sperm and female seahorses still have eggs, so they are still each correctly identified by gender. It just happens that the female transfers her eggs to the male seahorse’s egg pouch during mating.


This might be old, not sure:

A man from the city just moved to the country. He did not really know the country lingo, so he just decided to wing it.

Along a dusty road one day, he comes across an old farmer. The old man looks ragged and seems he has not eaten in a while. The farmer asks the city man if he wants to buy his last two chickens and a donkey, so that he may buy food for his family. The man is a charitable person, so he agrees to but them.

The farmer tells him that the male chicken is called a cock and the female is called a pullet. He also says that the donkey can be stubborn, so you have to scratch him behind the ears to get him moving.

So, after a while of walking, the donkey begins to slow down. The man does not want to put the chickens down, because they will run away. Knowing he needs to scratch behind the donkey’s ears to get him moving, he asks a woman passing by;

“Can you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?”

Well, I thought it was funny.

I asked my gym teacher about that a couple months ago. He started on a 10 minute speech about all the requirements and years of university he needed to become a gym teacher at a crappy school.

And dodgeball is wicked fun. Nobody cared about the actual curriculum, it was all about throwing rubber balls at people’s heads.