[Diablo2] Now you too can be totally awesome like Blizzard!

Just follow my simple 3 step plan:

Step 1: Make Lester the Tormenter and his Minions literally impossible for a barbarian to kill. Make sure they’re capable of killing you in 4 hits, and make sure they can regenerate HP as fast as you can take it away. Make sure if you use a Town Portal, they’ll have full health by the time you walk back through it. If the barbarian manages to kill them without the aid of his level 50+ sorceress, you didn’t make them hard enough. (If you’re having trouble accomplishing this, you can support the horde of monsters by randomly casting <b><u>DECREPIFY</b></u> on the barbarian. This will make it impossible for him to touch your monsters.)

Step 2: Make all but one of Baal’s attacks chill you and drop your attack speed to 0.005% of it’s normal value. If the FPS of the barbarian’s attacks is more than 3, he’s too fast, so make Baal’s attacks more powerful. Make it POSSIBLE to kill Baal easily, but make it take 45 minutes or more to kill him, because it’s annoying, and that’s what we’re aiming for. You should also spontaneously kill off any mercenaries in his throne room. Even if they can survive 10 or more of Baal’s normal attacks, make sure he has a move that spontaneously kills the mercenary in one shot, because that pisses people off, and that’s how we make friends with our customers. (Note: This skill doesn’t even need to have an animation. Just make the mercenary spontaneously drop dead because he feels like it. The key to this step is <b><u>SPONTANIETY.</b></u>)

Step 3: After Baal dies, make Tyrael float down next to a rock. When the barbarian talks to him, make the portal appear INSIDE the rock, so that the barbarian can’t complete the game by going through the portal. (This step is <u><b>ESSENTIAL.</b></u>)

<img src=“http://hades.nulani.net/images/Screenshot007.jpg”>

This post was based on a true story.

Wow, that last step has GOT to be a rare thing. I am impressed, and sorry for the player who can’t finish.

Too bad I don’t have LoD.

cackles with laughter oh god, hades, that’s so rawsomely funny :stuck_out_tongue:

I feel SO sorry for you, and I can’t believe they made baal that hard >.>;


OW, Jesus that’s lazy game design.

Wow. That was in Hell, I hope…

Stuff like that really ruined Diablo 2… :fungah: They went all “Look at us, we’re so cool just because we can come up with lame-ass overpowered monsters and bosses that’ll make the players want to smash the CDs and throw their computers out the window!”, and the result is obvious. Diablo 2 had the potential to become something much better than that. I play it occasionally, and I think Blizzard let people down on that one.

Manus actually has a point. I heard that in hell, A giant green Diablo (being of course, immune to most everything) will spontaneously appear in the common level building places (like the Bloody Foothills).

I mean…seriously. What the fuck.

I think i can shead some light on that: His name is Uber Diablo (yes blizzard couldnt think of a better name for him) he will appear randomly in games and its very rare to see him.(ever sience 1.10 came out ive only seen him twice)

Actually, if you know how to build characters and you have to be a god awful high lvl and stuff he isnt that hard to kill :slight_smile: me and a couple others beat him just last week

Plus if you are extremely lucky you will grab the one small charm he drops which is one of the best items in the game.

Yeah, Blizzard kinda forgot what the word balance means. Oops.

Annihilus, and it’s actually not that great of an item.

Well, this IS Blizzard we’re talking about. That really sucks, Hades. >.>

I can testify to that. I saw him in Bloody Foothills once, and I watched two of my friends get their asses kicked by him.

Heh OFX. You didn’t try to help? What a nice guy you are :stuck_out_tongue:

And things are finally starting to go my way, with the very same barb who was struggling earlier. I died about 10 times to Treehead, but look what he dropped:

<img src=“http://hades.nulani.net/Screenshot011.jpg”>

My rogue merc does 345 damage now, piercing shots, explosive. She’s killing more than I am with Frenzy, at least until I get better weapons than magic cudgels.

I’ll probably move this to my Zon later though, since she’s focusing in Immolation Arrow, and this kinda gives +6 to it and piercing shots, which means stacking explosions :stuck_out_tongue:

Heh cool hades, yeah they made barbs ALOT harder to play now so you like need really good items for them even to survive.

And the Annihilus is to a really good small charm! I mean comon it has +1 to all skills, 10-20 resist all and 10-20 to all stats Then it even can give you bonus exp! its like haveing a exp shrine on you the whole time! Now tell me for a small charm that takes up one little spot in your inventory that it is not good.

It gives you about +5% Exp. Experience shrines give you +100%. Annihilus isn’t quite as awesome :stuck_out_tongue: +1 Skills is good, but there are other charms that do that for you. Resists and Stats… well, the items you already have should already have that stuff on them :stuck_out_tongue: +Str and +Dex on items is almost worthless, and +40-80 life/mana is negligible by the time you’d get the charm.

I could fill the space an annihilus takes up with like, a potion, and I’d be better off than I would with the annihilus :stuck_out_tongue:

I also love how Blizzard makes enemies drop items that you can’t possibly use. Act 2 has given me so much crap for Druids (a class I never intent to play) that I’m back and forth selling them every ten minutes. Unless someone else wants them. ^^

On the plus side, I got an Isengard (I think that’s it’s name. It’s in a Set at any rate) Sword in the Arcane Sanctuary. And I never even saw the Summoner Q5 boss before my minions killed him. I also never even properly began that quest. Man I love completing quests by accident. :smiley:

I second that. I didn’t see it, but I got PK’d, and on my way back to collect my corpse, my team got caught unaware and slaughtered. Bloody Foothills, indeed.

There’s a such thing as ‘overpatching’.

Uber-Diablo is a bitch. NEver came across him myself, but i havnt played D2 since i got FFXI.

I think you mean Isenhart’s. A pretty low-level set. I useually use Isenharts untill i can use Sigons. I really like using Sigons. It’s kinda weak later, but i like the look. One of the best low-level MFing setups is using full angelic(with two rings) and Sigons in the gaps that Angelic dont take. Finny thing, is that if you are a pally, it will practically max-out your attack speed, but do little damage. FYI, Full TRangs, SUCKS MAJOR ASS. Sure, it;s nice looking like a monster as you play, but ohh, whats this ? the slowest possible spellcasting speed ? Despite the fact that TRangs is SUPPOSED to raise spell casting speed ? Delectible ! I dont use the helm, i use all but the helm, instead i use this cool circlet that raises my P&B skills 3 levels. If anyone knows of a way to turn the Vampire Aura off, let me know !

My Pally is using Isenhart’s Lightbrand and Isenhart’s Case right now. The armor has over 200 defense when combined with the sword, and the combination also gives me +10 strength. He’s pretty much laughing his way through the desert right now.

Its not that horribly unbalanced, they just want you to work together, which Hades will not do :stuck_out_tongue: