Defenders of Fanfiction: The Fanfic

The Core Media Forum
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Defenders of Fanfiction
By d_Galloway

It all began during a warm spring day. King Valkyrie Esker and Queen Weiila ruled the Land of Fanfiction with a rather limp iron fist. Chris of the Brood and Fou-Lu took a vacation from the police force, so Poke got stuck with some loser slob from outside of RPGC. Galloway tried to get appointed as the official Captain of the Guard, but Starstorm got it instead (since he was sleeping with the person hiring to begin with). PC Glenton continued his reign of stealing and thievery, while everyone else got drunk and played ping pong.

Glenton snuck his way through the elaborate defenses of the Castle of Fanfiction, dodging a shitload of guards, security cameras, laser tripwires, gun turrets, and other various traps and security gizmos. Finally, he reached his target: the stairway leading to the deepest levels of the Castle.

He snuck down the stairs, and reached the only unguarded room in the entire castle. It was none other than the room containing the entrance to the vault, in which the Treasures of Fanfiction were guarded.

After cracking the last bit of security on the door, and opening the vault, he prepared to steal all the greatest treasures the fanfiction world had ever known. He took one step inside, and found mountains of gold, jewels, and other treasures. In the far back were the 13 pedastals, on which the Treasures of Fanfiction were placed…

Only they weren’t there anymore.

Furious, Glenton ran to the pedastals for a closer look. That’s when he saw something in the corner; a shadow that melted away into the wall, dissapearing completely. Then he felt Gungnir run through his chest, and saw Val run into the room, just before he died.

“And that’s what happened, Poke,” said Weiila. “I revived him in the next room, in case you want to question him yourself.”

“My new partner will be back in a few minutes,” said Poke. “We’ll deal with it then.” Val, meanwhile, read what Poke had written about his new partner: he was apparantly a complete drunk, a horrible-looking man, had no sense of fashion, and solved all crimes by randomly doing things, then going on a killing spree. In other words, he sounded just fine for RPGC.

(to be continued)

Gallo-note: I know it’s impossible, but can you tell who the new cop is?

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Off tp an “interesting” start, as always…

And I have no clue.

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… Damn. I hate it when that happens.

Looks like fun d, and I am going to make a random guess and say Gemini.

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This looks like it’s going to be good. I guess I’ll have to go and read KoF now.

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Is PC like the Kenny of RPGC?

Submitted my own entry-sheet this time around. Your RPGC-fics are always worth reading.:cool:

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I forgot to mention something: the new cop is another character from another source (thus the “coming from outside of RPGC” thing). Take a look at my avatar (if you can pick it out from the poor quality), then take another guess at who this ugly, disgusting, drunk, pathetic excuse for a human being is.

And PC, it’s not Val. This guy drinks so much he makes Val look sober.

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Er… I guessed Gemini, like in your brother… not Val this time.

Even though its clear its now a wrong guess.

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Originally posted by d Galloway
And PC, it’s not Val. This guy drinks so much he makes Val look sober.

What, does he have 180 Proof Runnign through his veins or something? Caus that’s the only concievabel way to be even drunker than me!

And allright, I got to kill Glenton not five minutes intot eh story! Granted, he was revived, but my happiness still stands! YATTA!

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Um… isn’t your Avatar Johnny 5, the robot from the Short Circuit movies? But… I don’t remember any drunk in those movies.

And BTW I loved those movies, especially the second one.

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Originally posted by PC Glenton
[b]… Damn. I hate it when that happens.

Looks like fun d, and I am going to make a random guess and say Gemini. [/b]

Gemini: Well, good guess, but I don’t own a police academy. I own a news station.
Joey: In fact, it’s called RPG News. And, it’s on RPGC territory.
Gemini: OK, Joey. Enough bashing. Hey bro, is this the sequel to the King of Fanfiction? and, if so, am I in it?

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Originally posted by Wilfredo Martinez
[b]Um… isn’t your Avatar Johnny 5, the robot from the Short Circuit movies? But… I don’t remember any drunk in those movies.

And BTW I loved those movies, especially the second one. [/b]

Idunno, Will, it looks more like Tom Servo from Mystery Science Theater 3000. And thetre’s SOOO many possibilities for a drunk person in there.

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I know that I asked Gallo about that in some other thread but I don’t rememeber where, nor his answer :stuck_out_tongue:

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I think Tom Servo. I remember hearing that in connection with D’s av at some point.

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Damn, did PC have to come back? * runs away before PC can kill her.*

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A good start.

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Originally posted by Wolf of Light
Damn, did PC have to come back? * runs away before PC can kill her.*

Who are you. Val’s sister? lover? slave? doormat? adoring fan? you have the stench of esker corruption all over you.

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Originally posted by Videospirit
Who are you. Val’s sister? lover? slave? doormat? adoring fan?

All of the above, probably. [/cliche]

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Originally posted by Videospirit
Who are you. Val’s sister? lover? slave? doormat? adoring fan? you have the stench of esker corruption all over you.

Don’t look at me, I have nothing to do with this! Thoguh I must say, I dislike the idea of PC stayign dead so early in the story. I want him to die many, many times. In public. And humiliation.

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No, I can sense the Esker rot from miles away… and don’t get to cocky, Bitchker… I know d will see fit to have me pay you back.

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Galloway slowly walked into the next town, totally devoid of anything resembling stamina. The wreakage of the ice cream stand laid behind him, a grim reminder of two things: one, don’t get in Galloway’s way when he’s in a bad mood, and two, don’t put sprinkles on his kiddie cone when he doesn’t ask for them.

However, the town was in even worse shape than the ice cream stand. Bodies were tossed everywhere, beaten practically beyond recognition. Walls and entire buildings were smashed into fine rubble, while the once proud livestock and crops were burned to ash. The entire place looked like a couple thousand flaming tornados had struck it.

That’s when he saw the shadowy figure, holding a large hammer. The figure glanced at him, revealing red, flaming eyes. It then dissapeared, just as Galloway recognized the weapon it was using:

The Hammer of Crossovers.

Realizing what he had to do, Galloway quickly prepared his milk and called Mr. T.

Poke and Val were just about to shock PC’s groin into oblivion when Mr. T’s van smashed through the nearby wall. Galloway was thrown out the side, and the van vanished in a blur, destroying half of the police station in the process.

“The hell?” said Poke. PC, meanwhile, quickly escaped and ran through the destroyed wall.

“We have…a problem,” gasped Galloway. “The Treasures…have been…stolen.”

“Well, DUH!” shouted Val. “What the hell did you think we were doing here? PC stole the Treasures!”

“No…,” gasped Galloway. “It wasn’t…PC. It was…some…shadowy figure…” He then collapsed, and Weiila quickly began to heal him.

PC continued to run blindly, desperately trying to escape. However, he didn’t see the guy grab him and pull him into the car until it was too late.

His abductor turned out to be a fat, disgusting slob. His hair looked like a comb had never touched it for years, his face was nothing more than three layers of fat, and his clothes looked like something lifted from a bad episode of the Rockford Files. About eighty or so beer cans filled the back seat, leaving the rear window barely visible.

“Do you expect us to believe that?” asked Val. “We caught Glenton in the act! There’s no way-”

“You’ve been under a lot of stress, Gallo,” said Weiila. “Maybe you’ve been seeing things.”

Galloway looked at Val. “Did PC have the Treasures on him?”

“No, but that doesn’t matter!” said Val. “He could have thrown them somewhere…”

“Val, you know that vault better than anyone,” said Galloway. “There’s only one way in, and that’s through the vault door. The walls are solid gold, with several hundred tons of concrete reinforcing them. There was no way of PC getting down to the vault, getting the treasure, and getting out in five minutes. Besides, those treasures weight a lot; PC isn’t that strong to grab all of them at once.”

“Don’t use your logic here!” said Val. “This is Glenton we’re talking about!”

The door opened, and the slob brought PC in. “This is the guy who ran off, right?” asked the slob.

“Thanks,” said Poke, “but we’ve cleared him. Anyway, we have a bigger problem.”

“Who the crap are you?” asked Weiila.

“Name’s Mitchell,” said the slob. “What’s yours?”

(to be continued)