Christmas Saga 2

Mm-hmm. And just HOW long did I check out her “other assets”, d?

It’s not. Kiro will appear elsewhere in the fic.

Mabatsekker to the rescue!

Attempts to “Bamf!!” Val, but fails miserably, gets “SOCK!!”-ed

Well, the only other I can think of is Star and Weiila’s daughter returned from the future again, but she’s an angel and they would probably have recognized her, so meh…I’m confused. Intrigued, I meant intrigued.

She’s probably part of a Catgirl Black Market project to satisfy catlovers like Mabbatsekker.

And I KNEW you just couldn’t resist the urge to reference SANTA CLAUS VS THE DEVIL, eh, Gallo?

I’m loving it so far. Especially the whole thing with the owl, it’s so- Harrypotterish! (BTW, the thing in its eye is called a monocle.)

Great work, d. Hey, maybe you could have Coop and Jamie (from MEGAS XLR) cameo? If only so THEY could get flattened by a giant robot for a change. (Man, are those two annoying.)

Wow, a cat girl. This is getting wierder and wierder by the minute. KEEP IT UP GALLOWAY!

Ah, I thought she was me…Oh, well! I can wait! Great job so far!

It never once occurred to me that it was Kiro, on the basis that it specifically said she was 18. :slight_smile:

Wilfredo and the owl proceeded to teleport to yet another magical land. Unfortunately, the owl misaimed the spell, and they reappeared in the air over a forest. The owl started to fly down, while Wilfredo fell like a stone.


“…and that’s why Goro is the coolest fighting game character ever,” said Galloway. The truck finally pulled into Galloway’s driveway, nearly running over a couple cats and kids. Galloway and Val unbuckled the girl and carried her into Galloway’s room. They then threw her onto the bed as Galloway started his computer.

A few “blue screens of death” later, the computer hummed to a start. Galloway inserted a small floppy, and a bunch of useless crap popped up. After a few thousand more clicks, Galloway finally got the info he wanted. A window showed a picture of the girl, her exact measurements, and some actual information:


Name: Elizabeth Jones.
Project Code: Trisha-5.
Birthdate: April 26, 1951
Known Family: Gregory Jones (Father, Deceased), Martha Jones (Mother, Deceased), Jeremy Jones (Brother).

Project Log
September 1968: Jones was captured five days ago. DNA sample has been injected. The girl has been named Trisha-5, and is currently in stasis.

October 1968: Results have been unsatisfactory. The body is rejecting the genetic change. Trisha-5 is being stored for further study.

January 1969: For some reason, Trisha-5 has grown cat ears and a tail. One scientist admitted to this, claiming to have a fascination with cats. We quickly threw him into the meat grinder and sold him to a small hamburger place. We are now trying to classify his strange fetish.

February 1969: The further DNA changes have stabilized Trisha-5, but the process will require approximately 30 years of cryogenic sleep for further stablization. Trisha-5 has been placed inside cold sleep, and will be thawed at the beginning of the 21st century.

March 1969: Project closed. All cryogenics placed inside warehouse in California. All personel have been transfered to Project GOD.


“…that was a piece of crap,” said Galloway. “We just need a bit more info…”

The girl suddenly woke up. She started to sit up, and the blanket began to slide. Val quickly threw duct tape over Galloway’s eyes, and was just about to staple his eyes shut when the door opened.


The owl landed on a tree branch, which was by a rustic stone house deep within the forest. Wilfredo, meanwhile, landed in a stream by the house, which fortunately broke his fall. The house door opened, and an old man in a long black robe and hood emerged.

The old man looked at the owl. “Cedric? Where have you been? I’ve been calling for you.” The man then turned to Wilfredo, who was still dizzy from the fall.

“Well, what have we here?” said the old man. He walked to Wilfredo, a kind smile on his face. “A bit clumsy, don’t you think? Well, get yourself up and dry off. No use sitting around like a wet dog!” Wilfredo stumbled to his feet and shook himself off.

The old man turned back to the owl. “Cedric, go and prepare us some tea.” The owl obliged, and entered the house, followed by the old man and Wilfredo.


F. Galloway stood in the doorway, watching the entire spectacle with a naked girl and a guy with duct tape over his eyes. “Okay, what the unholy fuck is going on here?”

Val cleared her throat. “Well, we apparantly woke up a catgirl in cryogenic storage from the 1960s. We just haven’t gotten past this point.”

“And Val nearly killed me a half hour ago,” said Galloway.

“…what’s everybody talking about?” asked the girl.

F. Galloway looked at the computer, then back at the girl. “So…Elizabeth, do you have any idea what happened?”

“You mean why I have cat ears all of the sudden?” said Elizabeth. “And…what’s wrong with my back?” She reached down, and felt a cat tail. Before she could scream, Val covered her mouth.

“Can we get some damn clothes on her?” asked Galloway. “We need to get the tape off before the glue sinks into my eyes and blinds me.”


“The flames have begun to die down,” said the revival leader. “Throw more of Satan’s works into the pit.” Several fellow lunatics threw Harry Potter books, Dungeons and Dragons materials, and science textbooks into the pit. The flames shot up, burning Weiila briefly.


“The flames are dying,” said the conspiracy theory leader. “Throw more Illuminati works into there.” Several fellow nutjobs threw religious books, important national documents, and various kinds of money into the pit. The flames shot up, burning Starstorm briefly.


(to be continued)

This Weiila/Starstorm crisis is amusing me a lot more than it probobly should.

And also: Yay! Catgirl! =^^=

Cedric…

d, of all the evil crap you have sentenced us to in your stories, you had to bring in that bloody owl?

A good read, look forward to seeing more…

Hurry up! This is cool…and…I want to see me in it…-_-

I’m not getting the Cedric reference, sorry.

But everything else is a lot of fun, particularly the ominous Project God.

You forgot to add Farenheit 911 and Bill O’Reilly’s Factor Guide for Kids to the book burning, tho.

Hillarious. Hill-fucking-arious
And Wil, read his other fics. Project Gods in one of them, one the ones with the digimon people in it.

“According to the FBI profile,” said Galloway, “Elizabeth’s brother is a district manager of a K-Mart down in Long Beach. He has two offspring and eight grandchildren. He lives with his wife of thirty years in the same city. He likes hamburgers, Nick-at-Nite, and Playboy magazines up to 1978. Besides that, we have no info.”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” asked Val.

“Seeing as how this is Christmas,” said Galloway, “I figured we should do something nice. Besides, it’s been a rather ueventful year, and since I’ve been banished from RPGC, what better way to kill some time than to drive for many, many hours through one desolate mountain range after another, listening to the same damn spanish station because it’s the only one that works, finally culminating to the part where I destroy a man’s life by showing him his long-lost sister, who has not aged a day and is now a catgirl. Besides, I already sent someone to get the funds.”


Mitchell had a sudden craving and grabbed the phone. “Hello? Lard Ass Pizza?”

Gemini stealthily snuck into the room, just as sneakily as any dual class wizard-ninja would. While Mitchell was ordering eighteen personal pan pizzas, and Pokefreak was hallucinating Cthulu again after drinking a bad Pepsi, Gemini grabbed both their wallets and replaced them with fakes. He then snuck back out, with neither of the cops the wiser.


F. Galloway and Elizabeth finally emerged from the bathroom. Elizabeth now wore a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt and a blue zipper-covered jacket, all of which were a few sizes large for her.

“It’s sloppy, but this was a rush job,” said F. Galloway. “Now, let’s get you two loverbirds out the door…”

(one brief struggle later)

Elizabeth climbed into Galloway’s small, foul-smelling, trash-filled car. Gemini was already sitting in the miniscule back seat, holding the wallets of both Pokefreak and Mitchell.

“Are you sure about this?” said Galloway. “I mean, this IS a big deal…”

“Don’t worry,” said Elizabeth. “I’ve been frozen for 35 years, and was just released into a strange new world as a wierd human-cat thing, but I can handle meeting my little brother.” Galloway was nice enough not to mention that her brother was most likely in his late 40s, and would probably freak out when he learned she was alive. But, this wasn’t exactly his most thought-out scheme…

“…I couldn’t know less about what’s going on,” said Gemini. “Now, if you would be so kind as to-” Galloway didn’t hear a word he said; he was already racing down the road.


Wilfredo finished his cup of tea, while listening to Chrispen and Cedric.

“The Society of Wizards have always taken a grim look on Mordack and the abuse of his power,” said Chrispen. “Why, he’s even been put on suspension a few times! It never seems to do any good, though.”

“Chrispen, what would Mordack want with Santa?” asked Wilfredo. “What did he ever do to him?”

“I don’t know, Wilfredo,” sighed Chrispen. “I could never understand that evil mind of his.”

“Oooh, I thought you might be able to help, Chrispen,” said Cedric. “That’s why I brought him here!”

The old man hunched over to an old trunk. After a few minutes of rummaging, he emerged with an old wand. He waved the magical object, but it only fizzled and died. Still, he handed it to Wilfredo. “Here, take my old wand. I don’t know if it still works anymore; most of its power may be gone. You must remember that wands are like pets. You have to take good care of them before they work for you.” Despite the seemingly useless power of the object, Wilfredo took it anyway.

“You’d better get going,” said Chrispen. “There’s no telling what that foul Mordack could be up to. You go with him, Cedric. Show him the way.”

Cedric’s owl eyes nearly bulged out of their skulls. “Whooooo, me?”

“Yes, you, don’t be such a coward!” Chrispen quickly proved himself to be the most useful out of the duo. “Come on, you’d better get started!”

Wilfredo climbed out of his comfortable rocking chair. “Thank you, Chrispen,” he said. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me.” He then walked out of the house, followed by Cedric.


(to be continued)

Ooohhh, the apparantly-useless-and-likely-to-remain-useless-even-when-they-seem-to-need-it-simply-because-that’s-unexpected-only-then-it-will-work-because-otherwise-they’ll-lose plot trick. Cool.

… A kingly quest you put Wilfredo on, d… but, maybe you should of given him a Grahm cracker.

Heh. Good stuff, as usual. :smiley:

I still don’t recall where Cedric and Crispen are from. But thanks for focusing on me for a change! Still, my favorite part so far is the Catgirl and her story. Sounds like it’s gonna be fun.

Suggestions:

  1. Could you have at least one person call me ‘Wil’? mumbles for the 100th time how he hates his own name

  2. Did you HAVE to bring back Mitchell? Ohhh

More!