The Christmas Saga 2: Ho Ho NO!
By d_Galloway
Santa’s workshop, located deep in the farthest reaches of the North Pole, was busy with work. It was only twenty-five days until Christmas, and the Elves had fallen behind following a sudden population explosion. They continued to sing their elfish songs, though, as they pounded microchips into several X-Boxes and laptops. At least nobody had destroyed their workshop yet…
A lone figure appeared on the cliffs overlooking the workshop. He wore a long blue cloak over his black tunic, and his eyes burned with intelligence and cunning. He removed a small wand from his belt, and waved it in the air above him. A storm suddenly surrounded the workshop, accompanied by a whirlwing of wind and thunder. The entire tory factory began to shake violently for several minutes, and finally dissintegrated into nothing in the wind. The whirlwind then transformed intoa long tornado, which flew into the distance.
Now satisfied, the man vanished.
Weiila cautiously entered Galloway’s house. Her eyes darted from corner to corner, as she watched for any red-haired demons. When she was finally satisfied, she started to put a document on the coffee table.
“WHAT are you doing here, Weiila?”
Weiila snapped around, and saw Galloway staring at her, holding a wet plate in one hand and a sponge in the other.
“Galloway, as you know, Christmas is coming,” said Weiila. “After last year’s fiasco, we have made a decision about you.”
Galloway’s eyes narrowed. “About me?”
“Yes,” said Weiila. “You are hearby banished from RPGC until January 2nd. You are also to stay the hell away from me.”
“WHAT?!” Galloway dropped the plate, sending shards flying everywhere.
“Everywhere you go, chibifying follows,” said Weiila. “I made it through the year as an adult, and I plan on keeping it that way. Nobody else wants to be kidified, either, so they joined in on this. See you next here.” She dropped off the document and flew out the door in a hurry.
“And so they kicked me out of RPGC,” finished Galloway.
The rest of the convoy didn’t respond; they were already unconcious. The military truck pulled into the abandoned Fresno warehouse, and the entire strike force disembarked. Galloway pulled out some sort of palm pilot, pushed a few buttons, and read the instructions:
“Mission objective: Eliminate known Cyber-Terrorist organization. The only known entrance and exit is the front door. Terrorists are said to be tubby loners, so tactics will not be needed. There is a reward of $10, with an extra $1 to whoever kills the most losers.”
The entire team left after hearing the pay; only Galloway and the truck were left. Galloway leaned against the wall by the door, assault rifle shaking nervously in his arms. Finally, he kicked the door open and ran inside.
He realized what had happened when the smell reached him. Scattered around the warehouse were the bodies of the terrorists, a good ways into decomposition. Galloway looked at the closest body. The fat corpse’s face was frozen in terror, and half of its gut was torn out.
The sound of whirring alerted Galloway to the next danger…
“That was a great idea, Weiila,” said Starstorm. “No Galloway equals unlimited sex.”
“Thanks,” said Weiila. “Now, can you please clear the driveway? It’s been snowed under for five days!”
“D-Did I mention your great idea?” said Starstorm. Weiila simply pointed to the castle gate. Starstorm finally gave in, grabbed a shovel, and went into the freezing cold.
Weiila smiled. A Christmas as an adult. Nothing could ruin this…
She didn’t catch her thoughts early enough. As if on que, a shadowy figure came out of nowhere and dragged Weiila out the back.
Starstorm ran back inside, his entire body covered in permafrost. Once his vision returned, he realized Weiila wasn’t there anymore. He waited patiently for his speech to return, then shouted.
(to be continued)