Best. Fortune. Ever.

I got some chinese food for dinner last night. Moo shu chicken if you were wondering. So I finish eating and I grab a fortune cookie. I open it and I see the greatest fortune I have ever seen in my life, bar none. I wish I had a scanner so I could show a picture. Anyway, this is what it said:

You are not illiterate.

I laughed for 10 minutes straight. I want to get this framed, but I don’t know where to find a frame that small.

Frameshops? It deserves a custom frame.

Oh, I will find one.

There is a poster store down the street from my office. I’m going to go check on my lunch break.

EDIT: / / / My roommate and his girlfriend both got sucky generic fortunes.

Wow, they really seem to be putting better fortunes into those cookies these days. Very funny cookie. You must be lucky.

That fortune is totally awesome.

You know how you can make any fortune-cookie fortune better? Add the words “in bed” at the end.

They must have been all out of the “Stick with your wife” ones.

Stop by a Michael’s Crafts or something, they’ll frame things for you.

That’s awesome, though.

I just got a 4" x 6" picture frame from CVS for $4. I’m going to mount the fortune on a piece of black construction paper, and place that in the frame.

I’m going to try to get a picture of it after it is hanging up so I can post it.

Hey, I got a cookie like that last one just befor I joined these Forums. Odd huh?

done that.

then try “in space” or “in the bathtub.”

Jo the Mighty really freaked out when he got one on a road trip to San Louis Obispo that read “be prepared to modify your plan.”

He let a friend of ours drive the van for a while. On the Angeles Crest Highway.

In a crosswind.

Dave, you must put pics of this fortune cookie up somewhere. 4chan will thank you.

How about ‘in Heaven.’? Or the greatly more popular ‘in Hell.’.

Too plebeian.

Once, one of those told me “Your ideas will not work”.


I always wanted to get a fortune that just said, “LOOK OUT!”

I’m going to try to use my roommate’s digital camera tonight and post a pic. Promise.

But I found this:

I once had a cookie with the fortune “Look up. Right now.” Would be funnier if there was something on the ceiling.

Edit; someone beat me too the RML fortune, oops

There was a resident evil licker in there. You did not look up fast enough is all.
The store owner ussually keeps a leach on it.

I got a fortune that was so cool, I’ve never taken it out of my wallet. It reads:

“You are the master of every situation. :)”

God damn motherfuckin RIGHT I am.