Rarely do I find myself happy to live here in Texas, but today is an exception. I’m an in-home PC technician for a major electronics company, and they sent me out to BFE today (<A HREF=“http://local.google.com/local?f=q&hl=en&q=sulphur+springs,+tx”>Sulphur Springs, TX</A>). On the way back, instead of taking the main highway, I cut through some small towns to save some time. I was heading west on US-380 when, <A HREF=“http://local.google.com/local?f=d&hl=en&saddr=farmersville,+tx&daddr=princeton,+tx&ll=33.164571,-96.434383&spn=0.154763,0.259895”>somewhere between Farmersville and Princeton</A>, I saw the funniest thing I’ve seen in months. On my left was a building, and on that building read the name of the business held therein. The business was named:
DONUTS GUNS ARCHERY.
I damn near ran off the road laughing about it. If the speed limit hadn’t been 75 MPH, I would have turned around to take a picture of it with my phone. As it is, I’m considering driving the 90 minutes east of my house tomorrow to take the picture anyway.
That is simply beautiful. I seriously sometimes wish i’d gotten out of the Army and moved to Texas like I was considering…oh well, hindset and stuff, yeah.
Atlanta has a stretch of road that is literally three interstates merged into one road (I-85, I-75, I-20). It’s called the Downtown Connector. It’s 15 lanes of fun fun fun.
It’s mostly state highways that merge around here. For example, if I was heading toward Ft. Worth, I’d travel along TX-121, which eventually merges with TX-114 (before splitting again), then with TX-183 and with I-820 (before splitting yet again). The only other really annoying thing here is that there are colloquial names for all of the major highways (some that aren’t marked), and traffic reporters refuse to call them by their numbers; for example, US-75 is known as Central Expressway, I-35E is RL Thortnon Fwy for part of it’s run, and Stemmons Fwy for the northern half. I-635 is almost exclusively called Lyndon B. Johnson Fwy (or LBJ), TX-289 is known exclusively as Preston Rd, and TX-161 was just renamed to President George Bush Tpke, making old directions or street signs useless, as all signs that once said TX-161 are now gone. Now they’re turning TX-121 into a toll road, and I’m terrified that they’re going to call it President George W. Bush Tpke.
Basically, if you haven’t lived here long enough to know which major highway has which useless name, you’re SOL. You just have to hope that you pass a sign that calls it by it’s colloquialism.
I remember going back to the hotel with my Grandparents on one of those long stretches of road with nothing but corn fields on either side. All of a sudden BAM A Gianormous Wal-Mart comes up from seemingly nowhere. I swear, there was nothing else on that road … Stupid Wal-Marts…
Dallas?! First thing that comes to mind:
And…
“Who shot JR?”
Each time I visit my parents, they are in front of the boob tube watching reruns of Dallas and Dynasty. Thanks God I don’t live with them anymore
