Azumanga Daioh meet Kingdom Hearts

My fan-fic that I made after eating ice-cream and watching Azumanga Daioh at the same time!:

Koko: Hi! This is my first fanfic so I hope you like it!
Kiro: We think it deserves cookies!
Chiyo-Chan: Yeah!

When Chiyo-Chan decides to have a Sleep-Over she invites everyone! But, her ‘Dad’ AKA Creepy Color Changing Dream Cat who Likes Tomatoes, decides to send them into another dimension AKA Kingdom Hearts…place! Will Chiyo work for Ansem? Will Tomo ever stop saying “Why in the heck!”?! WILL SORA STAY SANE!!! THE MADNESS!!! RUN AAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAAY!

Chapter 1: Pretty Swirly Portal Thingy

“Hey Tomo!” Chiyo said running up to her desk. “Yeah what?! I’ve got Pixie Stick eatin to do! I’m trying to break the world record of most blood sugar!” She said holding a bag full of Pixie Sticks and a thing that would either measure her blood sugar or explode, Tomo had recently gotten an interest in going to black market websites and ordering stuff, because it only cost five cents, and it said that if you bought enough stuff it would give you a ‘Appreciation Gift’. “I wanted to invite you to my week long sleep-over at my Beach Home!” Chiyo said excitedly. “WHY IN THE HECK…wouldn’t I!!!” Tomo said in one of her hyper bursts that I have no idea why she gets but I’m gonna put it here because it’s in the show hyper bursts. “Uhhhhhh, ok then but are you sure your parents will let you?” Chiyo asked. “Parents? Oh, you mean those things I keep locked up in the closet, and feed table scraps? I don’t think they’ll care.” Tomo said dismissively. “Right…ok then bye!!!” Chiyo ran to Osaka’s desk throwing back an invitation. Osaka turned around surprisingly from actually hearing Chiyo-Chans footsteps. “Hiiiii…have you ever thought about Hemroi-” She said before being interrupted by Chiyo who was still freaked out about the Tomo thing. “Just come to my sleep-over alright???” Chiyo said throwing an invitation onto Osaka’s desk. “Allllllriiiiiight…” Was all Osaka said before she fell asleep, and Chiyo went to invite Miss Sakaki, Kaorin, Kagura, and Yomi.

Day of the beginning of the sleep-over

“Hey Girls!” Yelled Nayamo, and Yukari. Who, as usual are there only because they will give everyone free rides. “Hi.” The girls said in unison before remembering Yukari’s ‘wonderful’ driving, immediately afterwards a ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ game incused leaving Chiyo-Chan (WHHHHHHAAAAAAA!), Tomo, and Kaorin stuck in the ‘Driver from the Underworld’s’ car. After a nice comfortable, but slightly long drive with Nayamo, and a terrible scream fest, felt like days of evil drive in Yukari’s car they (Sort of) made it to the Beach House safely. Since it was really late they decided to just go to sleep…

“Oh, my! This is really a tight squeeze!” Said Chiyo-Chan’s ‘Dad’ as he worked his way out of Sakaki’s head through her ear. “These girls are having such a dull un-tomato filled story! (Koko: Hey!)” He said looking around. “I know! I’ll send them into another dimension! And, give them all tomatoes to bring too!” As he said this a tomato appeared in everyone’s hands, and they were sucked up into a pretty swirly portal thingy…

“Ehhhhhhrrrrrg” Yomi said as she got up. “I feel like I just got sucked into a pretty swirly portal thingy…” As Yomi said this she rubbed her eyes, and looked around. But, instead of seeing a bedroom she saw a town glowing in neon lights. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH! She screamed waking everyone up. As they realized what was happening they also screamed. “Were are we!” Kaorin said in panic. “And, why are we all holding tomatoes?” Osaka said in her usual monotone voice…

Helllooooooo? What do you guys think?

Insane humour. I’ve never watched/played either and found it mildly amusing. One typo “Who were only there…”. Pretty good for a first attempt.

Thanks a lot! I’m glad you think it’s funny!

Damn. Fopr a moment, I was hoping that someone had struck on the true beauty of KH fanfiction, that it allows for any NUMBER of game/disney crossovers. This… doesn’t quite rise to the full potential, but it’s better than all those damn Sora/Riku yaoi fics out there. I guess. Kinda.

yah, its ok, but like Valk said “it doesn’t quite rise to its full potential” :get it?: but im sure as the story unfolds it will…and i actually found it amusing somewhat :moogle: …ok go on Kiro, I wanna hear the rest :victoly:

sora and riku yaoi? :thud: … how akward… :noway:

I know, chapter 1 was pretty much an intro, and 2 is kinda that too, once I write chapter 3 it should have more characters in it. Here’s the next chappie:

Koko: Hi! Oh, thanks for being nice Kiro!

Kiro: I did that because Sensor Moogle made me…

Koko: I thought you were going to be good…

Kiro: No you frickin BEEP!!!

Chiyo: Oh no, a BEEP! It’s annoying!

Koko: It’s white!

Kiro: It’s Sensor Moogle! Ack! He makes me not be able to swear, and do bad things!

Sensor Moogle: Yes it’s me! I shall now make this story about fluffy bunnies!

All of us: NOOOOOOOOO!

10 Hours Later

Koko: Shoves bloody Sensor Moogle into a closet

Chiyo: I don’t like violence…

Kiro: To bad!

The Tomatoes…

“Tomatoes!? Eek!” Yelled Chiyo-chan attempting to throw down the tomato, which stubbornly stuck to her hand. “Eat the Tomato Chiyo-chan…eat it,” Said a disembodied voice that sounded strangely similar to Chiyo’s Dad’s voice… “But, I’m scared of tomatoes!” Insisted poor little Chiyo. “I don’t care!” Replied the voice. “Why are you afraid of tomatoes Chiy-” Suddenly Kagura was cut off by a screeching noise. “Watch out!” Yelled an unknown voice (Kiro: How original Koko: Oh, be quiet!). Just as that was said a Brunette boy jumped over the group and started repeatedly hacking at strange black things with creepy glowing eyes…With a big key, while doing this he repeatedly yelled things like, “Yah!” or, “Take this!” in the exact same way. “That’s sort of creepy…” said Sakaki overlooking what was happening as the boy killed the last of the creepy things. “You could have had your hearts stolen by the Heartless! You should be more careful!” The boy said. Yomi marched up to him looking pretty mad. “Look here! We just got sucked up into a pretty swirly portal thingy that we shouldn’t know about because we were sleeping, we don’t even know who you are, we don’t know where we are, and what in the world are Heartless?!” She yelled. “Yeah!” Agreed the rest of the group. “Huh, you’re not from around here are you?”

After a nice big introduction to everything including everyone getting weapons that I’m to lazy to write about, the group sets off to defeat the returning Ansem, of course you might be wondering what happened to Donald, and Goofy. Well they got put into perpetual comas because I say so, and I’m the all-powerful Authoress. But don’t worry about the weapon thing, I’ll get into that later. Back to the story…”So, we’re going to fight a big boss thing now as an excuse to go to a cut-scene with Ansem?” Asked Koarin nervously. “Yep.” Replied Sora. “Ok! LET’S DO IIIIIIT!” Yelled Yukari who seemed a bit over enthusiastic about getting to use her new scythe. As she said a huge Dusk version of Guard-Armor appeared, and attacked! “Ack! Take this! And, this!” Yelled Nayamo as she fired blasts of ice at the creature with her staff. When the blasts ended Sakaki, and Kaorin did a double team attack. Sakaki jumped into the air as Koarin flung up her rod letting Sakaki land on it. Quickly Sakaki once again jumped bring down her twin blades on the enemy. As she did this Kaorin swung the rod down at the enemy…

As this happened Ansem overlooked the screen he said…

Koko: Ha! I leave you hanging!

Kiro: Shud up!

Chiyo: The tomatoes…ehmmm

Yes my fighting part is crappy, I know that. It’s just easier to draw or watch fighting then write it…oh, and when Nayamo is blasting she’s in one of those panicky AHHHHHHH voices. And, Yukari is thinking about trying to be the grim reaper…

I’d figure it’d be more longer but ok…soooo these people already started fighting Ansem?? Then what happens after wards?

(also, you got some wierd ass imagination kiro, and thats badass :victoly:

No, they aren’t fighting Ansem, they’re fighting a Dusk(Name of weird white things) version of Guard Armor, and thanks! I think…

Too short - Self explanatory. You need to make the chapters much longer, and also make a few more paragraphs.

Plot’s awkward - You seem to be jumping all over the place with the plot. I can’t understand what’s going on too well, and unless it’s me, you need to give a little more background info.

The dialogue could use improvement - Making more paragraphs will also make the dialogue more organized. It’s a little messy as of now. Oh, and for your story itself, whatever you do, DO NOT USE SCRIPT FORM! I despise script form except for one or two occasions.

You’re rushing it - This I can’t hold against you, but it’s still a problem. Some writers have a gift of being able to make the story not seemed rush but not have it drag, and anyone can learn it.

THEY AREN’T FIGHTING ANSEM! They’re fighting a Dusk version of guard armor, it said to got to a cut-scene about Ansem, not a fight. Also, I’m only ten! Do you think I’m gonna be a master at writing?

Hoo boy, not this again.

If you post your stories here, you’re asking for our criticism. I gave you my criticism. We’re not going to say “OMG ITS GOOD :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :D”, because that seems to be what you want. If you want that, go post your stories on

If someone’s posting here, they should expect CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. You didn’t offer much of the constructive part, Omega.

I didn’t mean that I was against what you said, I just was getting annoyed that people kept thinking that they were fighting Ansem, when it says in the story they’re fighting thr Gaurd Armor thing.

Meh, guess I shouldn’t have posted that five seconds after getting up.

ooch crap, dam am i blind ,didnt see the guard armor thing, my bad :thud:

Next chappie!:

Koko: I shall now continue the story with this really short introduction!

Kiro: Just tell the story!

Chapter 4: Cutsie Wustie Chiyo Chat-speak

“LOLZ! 111oneoneeblens1 ONG dat gurl 1z s0 cUt3!!!111on3 BR1ng m@ h3rr c@@z sH3 URBER PWNS!111” Yelled Ansem in a sqeaky little girls voice. “What Master?” Suddenly a Knight appeared behind him with questioning….glowy things. “Um…huuurm hurm, I want you to bring me the White Mage with the red hair in pig-tails that is in the center of the screen.”  Ansem replyed after recovering. “Urrm, ok Master” Once the heartless had disappeared Ansem turned back to the screen thinking, [i]“Did he hear me speaking in uber L337? If he did I better destroy him….if only I had asked which Heartless number he was…they all look the same and I’m not going to sacrifice the entire Knight Squadron to the Fluffy Pink Bunnies just to get rid of one…..”[/i]  

“Yah!!!” Kaorin yelled striking the beast with her poll thing. “What the fricken heck!” Was what most of them would have yelled when they saw what the damage done to the monster was if they hadn’t been fighting for their lives. The little meter floating above everyone from Sora’s scan ability read, [2 Damage Done]. Even when Sakaki hit the monster barely took any damage. “Taste led you retarded Dusk crap!” Yelled Kagura as she fired huge bullets from her Bazooka. [i]“WOW!”[/i] Everyone thought seeing that she had done 4 damage! “I guess I forgot you all are on level one…” Said Sora as he killed the monster with his uber 100 LVL skills. “Unfortunately before he could do this the monster decided to slam down on top of Yukari who had been running around swinging her scythe yelling, “Die weird thing, die!”. “I’ll heal you!” Yelled Chiyo-Chan racing up to Yukari’s pancake of a body. As Chiyo charged up her magic, Yukari looked up weakly saying, “Wow, I though you hated me cause of da drivin”. Chiyo suddenly realized that she could have just let her die in agony as Yukari was healed. “I can’t believe I did that!” She yelled before a certain you-know-who (Heartless Knight….) appeared behind her, grabbed her, and poofed away. “WHY IN THE HECK!!!!! Is she gone?” Yelled/Asked Tomo in her usual hyper manor, the others nodded and all Sora could think to say was, [i]“How am I gonna stay sane with them around?!”[/i] Now you may be wondering why Osaka hasn’t been mentioned….well throughout the battle she’s been eating her tomato and having a Tea Party with the Moogles and Merlin in Wonderland on top of the Queen’s Head.

“Huh, where am I?” Asked Chiyo-Chan to no one in particular. She got up to find herself in a room filled with pictures of her that apparently Ansem had obtained using his kewl evil power thingies…namely  “You are in the Cutsie Wutsie Chiyo-Chan room!” Said Ansem who seemed to appear out of no where. “Now you shall be my favorite dark slave!” Continued Ansem who seemed to be showing his eccentric side quite a bit lately. “What if I don’t wanna?!” Chiyo countered. “Then, as much as it hurts me, I shall have to sacrifice you to the Pink Fluffy Bunnies.”

Koko: Be afraid…be very afraid.

ahahaha :hahaha; , okaay this is hilarious…fluffy pink bunnies?! falls on the floor laughing in a wtf manner :booster: ok seriously, i never would have guessed

id like to see where this is going :thud:

I got the idea when I was replying to a REALLY funny e-mail argument.

Dousn’t anyone else wanna say anything?