A Zelda fic... let's hope it's better than my other one's ^^;

That’s right… I have a new fanfic for ya. So, I’m not dead just yet… :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyways, read, enjoy, correct, do whatever. ^^

The Dark Ages

by: Chris-chris :yipee:

~Chapter One~

Link looked up into the sky watching a blue bird fly by. “Don’t see too many of those back in Hyrule…” Link spoke outloud. Epona nayed as they stood in a meadow. “I know girl. Say goodbye to all this good tasting, to you, grass.” Link smiled and rubbed her mane. His black tunic was almost woren from many battles. Link was seventeen now. It’s been seven years since he left Hyrule and now… he was returning home. After passing through Termina, he and his horse was only an hour away from Hyrule. Link was different from when he was little. No longer did he wear a green tunic but instead he wore black and had a violet cape with short blond hair and no hat. On his cheeks were red markings coming from the center of his eyes and on his forehead was a blue triangel shape. His eyes were still a soft deep blue and his once boyish form had now grown into a man.

Epona continued walking slowly through the grassy meadow. Link was letting her lead as she knew exactly where she was going. The horse had some changes as well. For one, she was grown into an adult horse with a very strong back and strong legs. Her golden brown coat shined ever so brightly in the sun light and her strong, deep brown eyes stared ahead of her. Epona had a mind of her own as well. If Link wanted to go one way, she’d refuse and gp the opposite. Link sometimes got mad at her for that.

Link stared into the land. A small smile came to his face as he thought of how the other’s would react when he came. The hero remembered the last time he saw their faces. Melon, Princess Zelda and Saria all were sad to see him go but they understood that he had to leave. Zelda most of all would miss him. Link shook his head as he recalled waht happened that night when he left…

The night of his department…

Melon hung on Link’s arm as did Saria. They were in Lon Lon Ranch having a sleep over and Link was in the middle of everything. Zelda laughed as the two girls pulled him to the ground and grappled him. “Ow! Okay! Okay! I give!” Link cried out. He was ten, as was the girls and they were wrestling. It was about midnight and all of them were in their pj’s. Zelda was wearing a light pink night clothing, Saria in green and Malon in red. Link was wearing blue and white pajama’s. The Kokri had a silly smile as she let go of Link and Malon climb ontop of him.

“Gimme a piggy back ride Link!” the ranch girl exclaimed. Link smiled weakly and sat up on all fours and crawled around with Malon on his back, holding his hair. “Ye’ ha!” Malon yipe as she waved her hand in the air like a cowgirl would on a horse. Saria and Zelda brusted into laughter as the poor boy pounced around. Link couldn’t help but laugh as well when he gave in and fell to the ground with a loud thud and the ranch girl still on his back. The four laughed harder now.

After a few minutes of hard laughing, they all calmed down for bed now. All four were on the ground in sleeping bags in Malons room. With the lights out, they talked in the darkness of the night. “Say Link, you’ll always remember us, right?” Saria asked him.

“Yeah.” Link answered with a smile.

“And we’ll always be friends right, Link?” Malon asked as well.

“Yup.”

“You promise?” Zelda spoke now.

“Cross my heart and… don’t, hope to die.” Link replied. They all giggled.

“Good night you guys.” Malon said as she turned over in her sleeping bag.

“Night” the other three replied.

**

Link smiled as he remembered that night. He never did forget that night seven years ago. Epona nipped at his hand as the crossed the end of the meadow. He looked ahead of them and saw nothing but a clearing of small hills and soft
grasslands.

“Home…” Link said under his breath. Epona got a little exicted and galloped through the grassland. Link smiled and sat onto of her, his cape flapping wildly in the air. Epona’s eyes flashed with joy as she saw a fresh patch of flowers. “NO! Not the flowers Epona! Epona!” Link yelled as he noticed what she was running to. Hyrulian flowers were the best tasting flowers in all the land. She stopped too suddenly and Link flew off her back and past her head onto the ground with a hard landing. The horse simply ignored him and feasted into the plants.

Link grummbled and swore under his breath as he rubbed his aching rear. “Dammit Epona…” Link looked back at her and she looked at him from the flowers. Her ears lowered closer to her head as she grinned. “Why did you do that?” Epona shook her head apologetically. “Yeah yeah… save the excuse, I forgive ya’.” the hero said as he stood up. The horse snickered. “Who you laughing at?” Link glared at her. Epona stopped and nayed. Link walked over to her and mounted her back once again.

“Well, we have about thirty minutes from Lon Lon Ranch, let’s get going.” Link said as he grabbed the reigns and directed Epona towards Lon Lon Ranch. With a clap of his hand, Epona began a steady gallop to her home.

Link and Epona walked into Lon Lon Ranch. Link smiled as he heard the moo’s of the cow’s and a soft siinging female voice. Link knew it was Malon cause she was singing Epona’s song. He dismounted Epona and took off her saddle. Epona galloped freely into the arena. Link placed her saddle near the barn house, he would take care of it later but right now, he wanted to see Malon. Link walked through the gates into the wide opening. He walked into the coreal and smiled as he saw a red hair woman standing in the middle singing. She wore a pink, ranch style skirt with an orange scarf around her neck and a white shirt. Link walked up behind her and smiled.

“Hey Malon.” He said. Malon stopped singing and slowly turned around. She gasped once she saw Link.

“Is… is? Is that you? LInk?” Malon spoke, trying to recognize him.

“Sure the hell is.” Link gave her a cheery smile. Malon smiled and her eyes sparkled with tears. She coverd her mouth her her hand.

“It… it really is you? Isn’t it?” she said.

“Yup. How you been?” Malon smiled and shook her head.

“I’ve been doing great thank you. And yourself?” she asked.

“Great. Just hanging around here and there. Saving other countries. You know, typicall hero stuff.” Link joked. Malon giggled.

“Hee hee. It’s great to know you’re doing great.” Malon said.

“Yeah… say, how’s Hyrule been?” Link questioned.

“Well, after Zelda’s father died, she had to take the throne, alone. The kingdom has been at well peace since she took over.” Malon updated him.

“So the king was destined to die after all… how long since his death?” Link asked her.

"About two years now. I think you should go see her. She really misses you."Malon suggested.

“Ok. I’ll stop by her place after I visit Sarah.” Link smiled.

“Well, you aren’t gonna find Saria in Kokir forest. She’s been sent into Temple of Time. You’ll find her there.” Malon told him.

“Thanks Malon.”

“By the way… what happened to you? You look a little… dark?” Malon noticed his markings and dark colored tunic.

“Oh, well uh… it’s a long story. I’ll tell you later. Thanks Malon. It was great to see you again. Bye.” Link said.

“Bye Link.” Malon said. Link waved bye to her and walked out of the ranch without Epona. He figured she needed a rest. The dark hero now walked in the fields of Hyrule remembering all his journeys here in this land. Link smiled as he walked, thinking about his childhood and when he was on a mission to save Hyrule from the ‘Evil King’. After his mission in Hyrule he left to find his fairy friend, Navi, who had left him to never be seen or heard from again. The hero never did find Navi… sadly he didn’t. Link was kind of mad at himself for letting her go without him stopping her. Even if she was an annoyning little brat, he wanted her to be with him as friends. Link headed towards Hyrule castle.

~*~

Princess Zelda sighed heavily after listening to another prince. After her father died, she took over the throne. Without a king or a prince to marry, she would have to rule Hyrule alone so her right hand maiden, Impa, has suggested that Zelda listen to princes from over kingdoms. But, after listening to sixty men, Zelda was getting restless and tired of it.

Zelda now had long blonde hair that went to the middle of her back. Her crown was that of a red jewl on her forehead. The princess wore a pink dress with a white top, she had sliky pink gloves up her arms. Impa was the same as then. Wearing armor, tight blue shorts and long blue boots. Her short grey hair was tightly pulled bakc into a small pony tail.

After waving her hand, another poor prince left with his head hanging. Impa stood beside the princess. “Impa, don’t send any more here. I’ve had enough of it.” the princess said, placing a hand to her forehead and rubbing there. She had a headache.

“But your highness-” Impa began before Zelda cut her off.

“No buts.”

“But-”

“No… I don’t want to see another man in this palace.”

“Aww… not even me?” Link teased.

“Not even- wait… Link? Is that really you?” Zelda looked up at the front doors. Link was standing there with one of those silly grins.

“Well, I was Link until I was told not to be seen…” the hero joked. Zelda smiled and ran up to him, she grabbed him into a tight hug.

“Link! I’ve missed you so much!” The princess snuffled. Link smiled and hugged her too. Impa walked to them as they separated. “You’ve been gone for seven years… and look at you.” Zelda said as she glanced over him.

“Yeah… I figured the dark look looks good on me.” Link replied. Zelda smiled. Impa wasn’t smiling however. She looked over Link carefully noticed every change about him. Dark tunic, violet cape, markings on his face, short blonde hair… it all seemed too familiar, but she shrugged it off and patted his shoulder with a welcoming smile.

“Link, we’ve missed you.” the Shekian said.

“Yeah… I kind of figured that. Say, why don’t you guys tell me what you’ve done to the place? It’s been so long since I left to find Navi.” Link suggested.

“I would love to but I just remembered I have something to do. If you’ll excuse me princess?” Impa bowed down as Zelda shook her head and she left the room. Zelda smiled and looked at Link who held his arm out for her to take and they begun to explore the palace.

Hmm. Alright storyline so far. I’ll read it all later when I have more time. The tenses jump a little and some of the parts near the beginning look like they’ve been run through babelfish. But all in all it’s alright.

Ask Weiila how bad I am with the tenses. ^^;; And spelling… and grammar… and… and… and… everything else.

But right now, I was typing that up half way blind. ^^;; so there could be a lot of mistakes…

But, It’s only chapter one, I don’t see how you can judge the storyline just yet. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: More chapters to come.

She’s aliiive! :yipee:

Beta read time… though I don’t see a tenth of the spelling error curse you were under a while ago. Way to go, girl!

Link looked up into the sky. A blue bird flew by.
>Choppy, very choppy. Too long sentences are bad, but too short ones are just as irritating. Have a look around for those ones, there are a few more. These two you could for example combine into something like “Link looked up into the sky, watching a blue bird fly by”.

on his forehead was a blue terra like shape
>Hmm, is “terra” a special symbol in the latter Zelda games (I haven’t played anything past Link’s Awakening cries). If it is, then it’s okay, otherwise “terra like shape” is rather vague.

That night before his department
>Can you avoid this kind of “announcements”? It could work smoother if you wrote something like “he closed his eyes and recalled…” and then had the memory all in italics or sumthing.

Melon hanged on Link’s arm as did Sarah.
>hung, not hanged.

Ok! Ok!
>Try to avoid writing shorts like this, especially in the dialogue. Write “Okay” instead :slight_smile:

It was about midnight and all of them were in their pj’s. Zelda was wearing a light pink pj’s. Sarah green and Malon in red. Link was wearing blue and white pajama’s.
>Choppetychop… and… eek! The repetitions have come back to kill us all! Quick! To the author mobile! … wait, wrong world. That’s so wrong overall… ^^;; Same with shorts here as with “Ok”.

And we’ll always be frineds right
>“friends”. But hey, it’s the first mispelling I spot. You have almost conquered the fable beast of Typo! Yay! Time to learn the victory dance! … no Ganon, not you. I FORBID you to dance!

Epona nipped at his hadn
>hand
And could you make a new paragraph when somebody starts talking? It gets easier to read.

Epona shook her head apoloiticly.
>apologetically. I think… scratches head I need my beloved spell checker of Word to spell stuff like that meself…

The horse snikered.
>snickered

and a soft siinging
>singing

tring to reconize him.
>trying, recognize

she had o take the throne, alone.
>to

Malon noticed his markings and dark colored tunic.
>if you put that comment here, it seems as if she didn’t see any of it before though they’ve been talking for a long time. It’d work better when she first saw him.

seen or heard from again. the hero never did find Navi
>capitalization

rule Hyrule alone so her right hand maiden, Impa, has suggested that Zelda listen to princes’
>had, not has. Ah! It’s the tense again! It has returned from the Abyss! Nooooooo… ahem. And no need for that ’ there :slight_smile:
Also, you could drop a note here somewhere about how long it has been since the king died and Zelda’s rule began.

She has a headache now.
>Tense. Eep!

“But your majesty-” IMpa began before Zelda cut her off.

“No but’s.”
>Watch the capitalization. And “buts”.
Also, a little note… now, Percival can probably sort this out better than I, but the little I have understood about court and such is that if you’re “majesty”, then you’re a queen or king. If Zelda is still “princess”, then she should be called “highness”. But since she’s ruling now she must be queen in any case, I gather.

“Aww… not even me?” Link teased.

“Not even- wait… Link? Is that really you?” Zelda looked up at him. He had one of those silly grins.
>Where did he come from and where is he when she sees him?

Impa walked to them as they sepperated.
>separated.

Impa wasn’t smiling hhowever.
>however

it all seems too filimare.
>seemed, familiar

f you’ll excusse me princess
>If, excuse

There, I think that was all. And I must say that your style and writing skills have evolved a lot in the past year, Chris-Chris :slight_smile: You can be very proud of yourself, I know I am of you.

CC’s alive? Wow!

And this isn’t that bad, CC. Stop beating yourself up, okay?

Well, the ending gives me a high level of assumption, but there’s really only one thing, which is inconsistent with the games, I want to knit-pick on, but it might ruin the story for you. So I guess I’ll hold it off, unless you wish to hear.

PM me… I’ll listen only then. :ah-ha!:

Since Weiila pointed out all your typos, I won’t mention them.
I will remind you, however, that most writing programs today (such as Word or Wordperfect- I have both) come with automatic spellcheckers. So you really should get one. Will make proofreading your own stories MUCH easier.

But it IS true, CC, this piece is MUCH esier to read than your previous one- you ARE improving! Congratulations!

And I want to point something out: your CHARACTERIZATIONS were very good! I liked the interplay between Link and Epona (is Epona intelligent? I’m not very familiar with the Zelda games.) The scene with Link cavorting with his friends when they were little served to stablish their feelings for each other very well, too.
I must also point out that you described things and people very well. I enjoyed the description of the battle-weary Link, and Malon’s appearance. Good work. Curiously, you didn’t describe Zelda and Impa much; don’t forget, not all of us are familiar with what they look like.

All in all, not bad, CC. Of course, we still need to see where you’re going with this story (and for you to correct the typos) but it looks promising. Keep it going, CC!

:cool:

Wait, does that mean my other zelda fics were blah? ^^ lol… I’m kidding. :slight_smile:

Anyways, I’ve gotten a lot better woohoo! :yipee: But, as I’ve said before me hate spellcheckers… they eat my stories… ;; tis a very sad story behind that… ;; cries :eek: But, just to do you guys a favor, I’ll look into getting one of those pragrams. ^^;

And I will go back a correct everything but I’m a little blind with out my glasses… so that could be some of the reasons why most of the words looked funny. ^^;;

What do you mean spellcheckers eat your stories. My only problem with them is names and then I just add them to the dictionary when I use them.

ONce apon a time when I was a young fanfiction writer and I was just starting to send Weilla my first fanfic… I had a spellchecker. One day, while happily checking my story, I found that half of it was missing. I know I typed it all in but once I had finish spell checking, the half was gone… sniff sobb The spellchecker had eatten half of my story… tear :too bad; And I never used one again… I need a shoulder… cries :eek:

Sorry to hear that, CC, but that sounds like a once in a lifetime error. Most of us use spellcheckers with no trouble. I suggest you get a NEW spellchecker, and, just in case, always make a copy of your story BEFORE running the original thru the checker.

BTW, shouldn’t your priority be getting new glasses? As someone who also uses them (I’m farsighted) I know what a (necessary) hassle they can be.

PS. I’m working on your drawing, but my Email isn’t working. It’ll be a couple more days before I can send it to you. Sorry. : (

As others have said, the writing needs work, but the story shows definate promise.

Well, I would get new glasses but you see… sigh we’re in kind of a money problem as of right now… so…

But I will get a new spell checker and I shall do as you suggested Wil. Thank you.

It’s ok. Just take the time to get your email fixed.

~Chapter Two~

Zelda had shown Link the palace, now the two were sitting outside in the courtyard catching up on old times. They laughed out loud at the memory of Link’s adventures when he was a child collecting the spiritual stones. Link sweatdropped as Zelda laughed at him when he told her that the Gorons had given him the biggest Goron hug he’d ever received.

“Man… I thought I had broken a ribb or something.” Link said.

“Heheheh…” Zelda giggled happily. Link smiled. He was glad to see her happy and that sweet smile that he missed so much.

But Link suddenly found Zelda hugging him. He was surprised by this sudden attatchment. But, Link wrapped his arms around the princess in the hug.

“I missed you so much Link.” Zelda said through a sobb.

“I missed you too Zelda.” Link comforted. “Now, cheer up. Why don’t we invite all of our friends over for a feast tonight. You won’t believe how hungry I am.” Link said as he and Zelda sapparted. Zelda smiled and wiped the tears away.

“Okay.” she said. The two walked out of the castle garden and into the palace.

~*~

“Have you seen that new hottie in the palace yet?” asked one of the kitchen maids.

“No.” replied the other.

“Well, he’s tall and really hansom or so I’ve heard.” the one spoke.

“Oh.” giggled her friend.

“Seriously girls, there can’t be any cute guy out there…” Mila said to the two.

“Mila, when will you learn that men are- oh no! There he is!” the one speaking stop as Link entered the kitchen. Everyone had stopped working to look at him. Even Mila looked up at him and blushed.

They were right! He is cute!’ Mila thought.

“Hey ladies. Mind if I join ya’?” Link asked taking off his gloves and grabbing an apron. They all giggled as he started washing the dishes. Link enjoyed doing the dishes. In fact, he liked working all around. The dark warrior always wanted to do something instead of sitting and waiting.

Mila blushed as he was standing right next to her. ‘Hey… he is nice looking… wonder what a strong warrior like he is doing here at the palace?’ she asked herself. She blushed as he smiled while washing the dishes in the sink.

Mila was a young girl in her seventeens. She was very thin and pale. But her bright brownish red hair made her look like a goddess. Mila’s light green eyes had a thirst for an adventure. There was a feirce fire in her eyes, her heart had a devish dare. Mial was very stubburn and out going.

Link hummed the happy tone that Saria had tought him when he was little. Saira’s Song was a very cheerful song to hum. The hero loved it because it kept his spirits going and happy. Link reached over for another plate when his hand touched Mila’s. “Oops. Sorry miss.” Link quickly pulled back his hand to wait for her.

“That’s ok.” Mila answered with a bright red blush. She moved her hand and turned away to hide her blush. Link acted like normal and whistled the tone and continued washing. Mila then walked out of the kitchen to catch her breath. What were these strange feelings? Why was her heart beating so fast? Mila shook her head and walked down the halls to the luandry room.

~*~

Zelda was in her room at her desk writing letters to Saria and Malon, plus the other sages. She smiled cheerfully as she wrote short notes of a time, date and place. They were going to have a weclome back party for Link. Though he left her to eat a few minutes ago, she was happy that he was back. The princess smiled and called for a guard.

“Yes your highness?” The guard asked, standing perfectly still.

“I need you to gather up enough messengers to give these letters to the addressed as soon as possible.” Zelda commanded lightly.

“Yes Ma’am.” the soldier gave her a bow and walked off. Zelda smiled excitedly. Everone was going to come and enjoy a fun night with their hero, Link. She couldn’t help but act childish and jump up in joy. She felt embarased and quickly regained her composer as there were two maids in the room standing waiting for her to want their assistence. The princess flushed a little red and walked gracefully out of the room.

Zelda walked down to the kitchen where she saw Link washing the dishes. “Link?” she spoke. All the maids stop working but Link continued. She smiled and walked up behind him, pinching his ear.

“Ow! What the- Zelda?” Link yelled but turned to find Zelda there.

“Heheh… Link what are you doing?”

“I was um… well uh, you see…” Link couldn’t speak. Zelda giggled.

“Oh well. Get dried off and meet me inside the throne room.” the princess said and walked out. Link dried his hands on a paper cloth.

“See you laters ladies… nice working with ya’.” the hero said.

“Bye…” the girls replied, giggling as he walked out with one of those boyish grins.

Link arrived in the throne room and walked next to Zelda. “So, whatcha got planed for tonight?” he asked.

“Well, I want to have a dinner feast, then everyone’s going to just I guess party… not too sure but oh well, we’ll see how it works out.” the princess answered. Link smiled.

“Or we could just watch me be the idioit that I am.” he joked.

“Heh, we could. But you’re not an idioit Link.” Zelda replied.

“Yes I am.” he argued.

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“You are not an idioit Link.” Zelda said.

“Alright. If you say so Zel.” Link shrugged. They were quiet for a few minutes. “So uh… when does it start?” Link asked finally.

“Tonight.” Zelda answered.

Okay, then I shall practice with my sword til then." Link said, walking out.

Hmm… nothing mayor yet, although it is very fun to see young people handling their shift into more sensually-aware teenagers in such an awkward way. (Well, it’s fun as long as it isn’t happening to one, eh? : )
Once again, the typos are there, BUT, we’ll give you a break while you get your new glasses (and spellchecker.) Oh, and remember, CC, you CAN edit what you post, so if you find errors, there’s no reason to leave them in the story.
Here’s a writer’s trick which I think will help you greatly: every time that you shift the focus from one character to another (or even one event to another) start a new paragraph. Even if it ends up being just a one-sentence paragraph. It’s easier to read, and looks better. Example: In the paragraph with Link and Mila, when you shifted from Link to Mila, you should’ve given her her own praragraph. Trust me, it works. AND it makes the story look longer than it really is. ^_~

I know about that little editing button there at the end of each post. ^^ I’m not a newbie anymore :kissy: I did go back and edited chapter one, if there are stil mistakes please tell me. I will correct chapter two once I get it complete. And thanks for the advise Wil. ^_~ I’ll use it wisely. ^^

Well, I think that it’s a really good fic and that the only thing that I can really find about it that I want to complain about are misspellings… (But if you get over your spellcheck-fobia, you’ll get rid of those too :))

Sorry it took so long to inish chepter two, life here is like hell at the moment… :fungah: Dealing witha few stressful problems in the family and what have ya so updates will be coming slowly. Once again, I’m sorry. :too bad;

Don’t worry about it.

Writing is something you do when you have time, are inspired and feel like it.

If something really important pops up, you deal with that first, and then you can continue writing.
Noboby is going to eat you for not updating fast enough…
Not even Charl :stuck_out_tongue: (last I checked he didn’t eat girls faces…)