A Grave Error of Worst Proportions

So, as we can all see, the forum has been upgraded. And the styles are still not back. Besides Charl complaining, there’s not that much to truly be dismayed about. After all, they should be back, right? Right. Eventually.

No, what we lost was RPGC’s first, and some say best, line of defense: The Uriel Alert System.

Without the styles, we can’t see the Agora in Soylent Green and know that the site is at Low Risk of Uriel Attacks. We can’t see it in RPGC Blue and know that there is a General Risk of Uriel Attacks. We can’t see it in Carnage Red and be concerned about the Significant Risk of Uriel Attacks. Yellow Dog doesn’t exist to inform us of a High Risk of Uriel Attacks. And I need not mention Tutti Fruity Alert.

Gentlemen and lady, without these styles, we have no defense. We cannot alert all of you about which state of alertness to remain at. Our site is in grave danger of Uriel Attacks without the Uriel Alert System. Also, because the current style is mostly white, we know the site may be at greater risk because light colors load faster.

Good people of RPGClassics, under my guidance as the Staffetary of Website Security, we have suffered no confirmed Uriel attacks. We have found sleeper cells, and we have eliminated them. But no successful attacks have occurred. However, without the Uriel Alert System, I feel like one hand is tied behind my back. We never know when a Uriel may invade this site and attempt to light himself on fire to set off an explosive. We may actually be under a secret Uriel Attack now, more discreet than ever. I ask for your help in identifying Uriels, and I feel sorry that I must issue this warning.

We are in Uriel Alert vb4 Default, an Unknown but Presumed to Exist Risk of Uriel Attacks. I am sorry for this current lapse and will work more diligently to prevent any and all Uriel attacks.

Thank you, and Rast bless RPGC.

It is in times like these that one must remember the true RPGCian hero that is the 984. In his long and decorated tenure as the Staffetary of Website Security, he has dedicated countless minutes of his time to protecting our Fora and ensuring our safety. Some liberties may have been taken, it is true, but it is all done in the name of our safety against such heinous attacks. There may be rumours of his exploiting his position of power for personal amusement; this is nothing but wretched Urielian propaganda. Always remember to Vote 984.

Not- not as in like, for a general election or anything, because it’s not like you guys have a say. That’s be stupid. No, just whenever there is a 984 option in a random poll, Vote 984. it won;t really affect anything, but it’ll make you feel better.

This is all well and good 984, but I have SEEN the penis of Uriel- I know that which lurks beyond the intertubes. Pray to your gods that we may be spared or, Merlin help us, all will lost.


I think I will start to post like this to give the forums some color. Or not.

I count on these updates since I have used only the default schemes.

Should I start praying or panicking? Also, I was under the impression that Carnage Red loaded 3x faster than everything else.
And I still miss RPGC Blue. -_-

(Related note: Did not realize vB 4.0 totally changed up the Styles template and CSS system that much. That’s bound to make things complicated…)

I don’t complain >: (

Wow, that post loaded really fast! Amazing!

You have my utter and complete blind faith, the 984. I’m sure that whatever sacrifices you feel must be made along the way, it will all ultimately be for the sake of protecting us from Uriel attacks.

What if 984 demands full frontal nudity… of all of us? Would you stand that, Weiila? Would you stand to see little Hades swinging from side to side, for instance? HUH!?

You do realize that by everybody, you’re including the likes of GSG, Kasey, and Jettura.

That’s why I’m asking her. I’m asking if she’s prepared for the consequences.

I would be prepared for ANY consequences to preserve our security, you silly thiiii-

Oh excuse me for a sec, this little beeping thing in my brain is chafing a bit. I better go to the 984 HQ and have it repositioned by the wonderful doctors there. :slight_smile:

Hm, with that nudity theme we could rebrand rpgc towards the other kind of roleplaying.

I mean, me naked? Everyone would love that. No questions asked. I’m just worried about everyone else. Let’s face it, you aren’t all Adonises like me.

Incidentally, being named Adonis doesn’t fate you to look like one. True stor[strike]y[/strike]ies.

At least revive the (most popular!) Tombstone Grey “Uriel is most likely lying in the gutter by now, assraped to death” theme.

Hmm…I don’t like the style of the forum, that is true. So…is there any way to change it? Maybe to something more…blue? Or something?

Get sunglasses.