Here’s Orakio’s tale, reuploaded for your enjoyment.
It’s warmly recommended, a dramatic tale with good descriptions and a fascinating story (and I’m sorry it took so long until I commented, I knew I said Monday. Two weeks ago. -_-).
The only nitpick comment I have is this:
“She then knocked on the door 3 times, and then ran behind the house towards the lake.”
When writing narration, don’t write numbers like 1, 2, 3, write, one, two, three. This is alright:
“Probably around 5’9”.”
But stay with letters otherwise 