This thread will revolutionise the way we post. People will build shrines to this thread and worship at our feet for bringing them this perfect piece of internet literature. The president of the United States of America will seek out advice on how to make threads as good as this one. The whole world will look upon it’s majesty and despair because they can never make a thread as good as this one. Third-world hunger and the national debt will be ended by this thread. This thread will shine as a beacon of hope in a world on the edge. This thread is retoractively responsible for the civil rights moment, vaccinations and modern scientific theory. This thread will endure the ages like a cockroach endures a nuclear holocaust. If this thread were to be shot into space, aliens from all around would flock to it and view humanity as the greatest species in creation, merely on the strength of it’s awesomeness. This thread can travel through space and time and all seven dimensions.
This thread will prelude the Second Coming itself and lead humanity into a new dawn of tolerance and equality.
It’s night time, and me and my hot (but totally sweet and innocent) girlfriend are laying on the sand on the beach, I’m dazzling her with my romantic knowledge of constellations, I say “May I kiss you…?” she turns on her side and is like, “If you really want to…” so I lean over and give her a peck on the lips, and then she gets all frantic, jumps on top of me, and says “Don’t you dare stop there…” pulls her shirt off over her head, revealing her bare breasts, leans on top of me, pressing them against my chest, and starts making out with me. Then when it gets really hot we end up rolling into the water, getting naked, and having the most multi-orgasmic underwater sexual intercourse EVER, ala “The Beach,” glowing plankton included.