THE THING THAT WAS 4 DECADES OLD
By Wilfredo Martinez
A TV show studio somewhere:
The lights were on, the music band played loudly, the people sitting in the aisles fidgeted with anticipation.
Suddenly, a voice boomed over the studio:
Announcer: LADIEEES AND GENTLEMEN!!! Welcome… to another installment of: THE WILFREDO MARTINEZ SHOW!!
(The crowd cheers)
AND NOW- the person you have been waiting for! The Host with the Most! The Dude with the ‘Tude! The Star of the Show! WILFREDOOO MAAAR-TEENEZ!!!
(Hip-looking version of Wilfredo comes onstage. The crowd goes crazy!)
Wil: HELLO MY PEOPLE!!! (Does the Arsenio Hall whoop-whoop-whoop thing)
Crowd: WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!
Wil: Tonight, we have a VERY special guest! All the way from sunny Puerto Rico, he’s one of RPGC’s favorite fanfic writers! Just on time for his fortieth –yes, FORTIETH birthday, he returns to his writing role after an absence of months. Please let’s give a hand to- WILFREDO MARTINEZ!!!
(Classy-looking version of Wilfredo comes onstage. The cloud applauds loudly.)
WM: Evening, folks!
(The two Wilfredos sit down in facing chairs.)
Wil: Nice to see you again, WM! You’re looking good!
WM: Thank you. You look great yourself.
Wil: Ok, so let’s get started right away. First, for the sake of those people who don’t know well who you are, please tell us.
WM: Certainly. My full name is Wilfredo Martinez Segarra, and I’m forty years old today. I’m a translator (which is a fancy way of saying that I write up stuff for people too lazy to learn English) and I live in the town of Puerto Real, on the southwestern tip of the island .
Wil: Okay, now that we got the boring stuff covered, give us the details that online people REALLY care about.
WM: Um, you said we wouldn’t talk about my intimate life…
Wil: Slaps forehead NO! I mean, the fannish stuff! Your writing, your gaming, etc.
WM: Ah! Well, I’ve been a fan of Science Fiction and Fantasy, in all its forms, as long as I can remember. And I’ve been writing fanfics just as long.
Wil: Are you serious?
WM: Yes. My earliest memories are, in fact, of writing my own version of a Warner Brothers cartoon (the one with the little turtle that wanted to fly) because I didn’t like the original ending. I drew it up, too, on the back of a book of poems my first grade teacher gave me as a gift.
Wil: Did your family support your writing?
WM: (Turning serious) Not at all. They were afraid, in fact, that it would hurt me. When I was little it was ok, but as I grew up and my fascination with “cartoons” (their term for any form of fiction I enjoyed, even novels) didn’t go away, they chastised me. In fact, my oldest sister, Ivonne, who helped raise me after our parents died when I was about 12, was convinced it would hurt me, and took me several times to Psychologists to see if I could be “cured”.
Wil: Ouch. What did they say?
WM: They said I was a little depressed, but otherwise, I was fine. In fact, I have a higher-than-average IQ, with straight As in all classes. What they didn’t catch on, however, was that I was depressed because my own family was telling me, in effect, that I was a freak!
Wil: Do you resent them for that?
WM: …I used to, a little. But you have to understand, mine is not a story of “another victim of family rejection.” My family LOVED me, and still does. It’s just that I am a natural nerd, and around these parts, that was something truly unusual. It wasn’t until I discovered organized Fandom that I even realized there were more people like me. As far as my family knew, they were doing the right thing for my sake.
Wil: (chuckling) You just called yourself a NERD, Martinez!
WM: And proud of it, Dammit! (smiles) “Nerd” is just a word, another brand we put on people, to separate “us” from “them”. Stupid self-destructive human nature. Being obsessed with Comics or Science Fiction is no worse than being obsessed with sports or soap operas, or any of dozens of human pastimes.
Wil: Except sci-fi and fantasy are considered useless by society.
WM: Like knowing every little detail of a Sport Star’s career is useful? Or who cheated on whom on Days of Our Lives 20 years ago? As long as you don’t do anything illegal and don’t get fanatical about it, how you entertain yourself is nobody’s business but your own. And yes, you can be a Nerd and still live a pretty normal life. I speak from personal experience.
Wil: This is getting a little too serious. Let’s get back to your writing. Did you ever get anything published?
WM: Technically, no. I kept most of my stories in notebooks, where usually only I would see them. Other people wouldn’t see my stories until I joined a few APAs (Amateur Press Publications, a fancy term for self-published fanzines) during the 80’s. And of course, I’ve posted my stories on the net since I got online, about 4 years ago. But I’ve never been a professional writer, and quite honestly I can’t say I mind.
Wil: Why is that?
WM: I’ve found out that the world of professional writing is harsher and more unfair than I imagined. Judging from interviews I’ve read, mainly comic book writers but also from other media, most writers are treated like hacks, they’re poorly paid and their work often gets altered or even unpublished depending on the editors and the political climate of the times. Plus, readers are a fickle lot, usually you only hear from the people who hated your stuff, which is of course disappointing. That’s why I always urge all fanfic writers to write for themselves, trying to do their best, yes, but always keeping THEIR satisfaction in mind first.
That said, I can’t deny I would be thrilled to some day see my name in the credits of a comic book, cartoon, book, or even a TV show or movie. But I would do it STRICTLY for my own fun, not money or fame. That, I promised myself. And If I never get published, I wouldn’t mind, either… writing fanfics has always been very fulfilling to me.
Wil: You said that you enjoyed ALL kinds of Fiction. Is that correct?
WM: Yes. Well, I don’t enjoy pessimistic stuff, much less sadistic ones, which means I don’t care much for drama or horror, though I HAVE seen some pretty good ones, too. Good production values can make a huge difference even on a fatalistic story.
Wil: What are some of your favorite series?
WM: Oh, man. THAT’S a though call… I have FOUR decades of reading and watching stuff to call on! Let’s see… my favorite superhero is Superman, but only when done well; the novel SUPERMAN: MIRACLE MONDAY, which came out around the time of the second movie, is probably my favorite Supes story of all time: not only he saves the World from the Devil (yes, THE Devil) by not breaking his oath of never using his powers to kill, but it gives us the most personal view of what it is like to BE Superman, that I’ve ever seen. They don’t make superhero stories like that any more, sadly.
In animation, my all-time favorite series was Disney’s GARGOYLES. Not only it was a high-quality series in all ways, from writing to voice-acting, but it actually managed to surprise me with its plot twists, and let me tell you, that’s Not easy to do, as I’ve seen a Lot of stuff in my time!
The best Anime I’ve ever seen… damn, there’s a lot of good stuff… but I’ll go for Yu-Gi-Oh.
Wil: YUGIOH!? Oh please, don’t tell me you’re one of those Yugioh fanatics!
WM: Well, you’ll never see me wearing a purple fright wig, if that’s what you fear! (laughs) But seriously: beyond being a good game, the show is unique among Anime in that the protagonist was so wise, yet also humble and kind. Plus, the strong message of friendship endeared me to the characters, and the whole mystery of the Pharaoh’s reincarnations was pretty good too. And yeah, I admit it, I dig the cards, at least the way they’re used in the show. The only thing I can’t stand is the way EVERY freakin’ player (except Yugi) in the show boasts (and overexplains what they do) every freakin’ turn of playing!! But I overlook it on account on its other strengths. Heck, I’m catching the final episodes now, and I feel like I’ll miss these characters a lot. (The GX version didn’t work for me at all.)
And btw, as card games go, I actually prefer the Pokemon game to Yugioh.
Wil: WHAT!?
WM: (smiling) No, really! MUCH easier to play, without being TOO simple. And I dig the pokemon designs (if not the characters.)
Let’s see, what else… Favorite Movie? The Incredibles, but I’ve explained why before so much, I won’t do so again. TV sitcom? Night Court. I’m probably the only one here who remembers it, so check Wikipedia for information. Trust me, it was better than FRIENDS ever was. So many things… we’d better move on.
Wil: OK. How did you get involved with RPGClassics?
WM: Shortly after I first got online, I did a Google search for RPG information and found the Final Fantasy Compendium. I loved the site, and thru it I found RPGC. At first, I just lurked around; I wasn’t sure if I would be accepted in here. I mean, I was in my 30s already, most people who frequented the site are at least 10 years younger than I am! In fact, I never had an introductory thread as such; I just started posting around the Boards, and people didn’t seem to mind me much, so I stayed and slowly became part of the active membership.
Wil: You know, you COULD have hidden your age from the others. With your juvenile personality, I doubt they’d caught on.
WM: (giggling) Yeah, I realized that years later! But, no, I don’t think I would have done that anyway…I tend to be too blasted honest for my own good.
Wil: Tell me about it! (shakes head) Anyway: how did you start writing here?
WM: Well, the first story I joined was a group story –not a role play, but a story that was open to input from anyone that Weiila started here in the Media Board, so I gave it a try. It had no topic originally, but, with input from Weiila, Starstorm, me, and a few others, soon grew into a crossover between Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy 7 (and later on FF5 and FF8). It sounds like a mess to describe it, but it actually made sense (!) and was a LOT of fun to write, especially the fight between the CT and FF7 crew. I’m still proud of that one.
Wil: What happened to that story?
WM: Sadly, it was never completed. First, it was erased almost completely by a worm that hit our server about two years ago; we tried to continue it, but it had gotten TOO complicated, and eventually we all lost interest. Too bad, because I think we could have wrapped it up nicely, but still, it was a good experience to all involved, I think.
Around the same time, Valkyrie Esker started a similar story, called JOIN MY ARMY! in a now-gone Board where we posted nonsense. It was just a crazy story in which VE supposedly was asking people to join her (at the time, we didn’t know she was actually a he) in battling her Evil Brother, but it had all kinds of silly stuff like the Disco Ninjas. I decided to contribute, but in a very different way than in Weiila’s story: I just wrote whatever nonsense I came up with. I had never actually done that before, and it was a lot of fun! I painted myself as a greedy playa who had three FF girls as his mistresses. Pretty stupid stuff.
But something odd happened. Slowly, the story started taking a serious tone. I think VE had realized he could write a good story if he tried. I responded by also making my part of story more serious: I had my character infiltrate the bad guys by starting a relationship with Royce (a sexy villainess from the first LUNAR RPG) and I found myself writing it with much more depth than I expected. The relationship between “me” and Royce became more adult an, ultimately, tragic. The finale of the story had me battling some of the other authors’ characters only to reveal it had all been a gambit all along, and we defeated the villains, but Royce and I had to separate thereafter. I’m still surprised how good the whole thing turned out to be. I ended up becoming good friends with everyone who co-wrote that story, too, so it was a great personal experience as well.
That same year (2002) Weiila also called for people to write Christmas stories for the Board. D Galloway usually handled those, but she wanted more input from others, so, again, I decided to try. I came up with a story where the people of RPGC where real fantasy adventurers and Santa Claus asked me to help teach his teenage daughter Jingle Bell the True Meaning of Christmas. But once again, my comic book reading roots influenced me and the whole thing turned into an Epic story where we battled the American Thought Police (headed by John Ashcroft) and ultimately, Nyarlatothep, the final Boss from PERSONA II. Again, it was a mess that somehow made sense, and was a lot of fun to write. People loved it, and since then I’ve been doing the Big RPGC story every year.
Wil: Wow, you were on a roll back then. But, last year, you couldn’t finish the story on time. Why?
WM: (sighing) I underestimated the demands that Life has put on me, pure and simple. My sister Ileana had a baby out of wedlock (she already had her tubes cut, but SOMEHOW she still got pregnant!) and the father, while he recognized the child as his and agreed to help pay his upbringing, moved away to the states. Ileana needed help raising him, especially since she had to go back to College to get the degrees she needs for her job as a teacher this year. I agreed to help, not just because she needed it, but because I know what it is like to grow up without a father (even when he was alive, my father was usually too sick too play with me) and I don’t want that to happen. To my surprise, I’ve found I actually ENJOY spending time with Luis; he’s something of a brat, but he cares a lot for me, and we have a lot of common interests, like cartoons and RPGs.
Also, Ilea decided to sign Luis up for Little League too. THAT I didn’t know ahead of time, and even when I knew, I figured it wouldn’t be too hard to help with. WRONG. I ended up either babysitting or taking Luis to practice or games nearly EVERY day. All of that goes on top of the work I do for a living AND the help I give my best friend, Ulpiano, with HIS job, which is doing repairs at a local factory when needed. I went from having a LOT of time on my hands to having almost none. I tried my best to keep writing the story, but I kept coming home late, tired, and worse, with NO inspiration. I eventually realized that trying to write in those conditions was actually adding to stress I was under, so, sadly, I had to put the story (which had now stretched into APRIL!) on hold.
Wil: So, are you finally back?
WM: Tentatively, yes. I’m almost done with my projects for this semester (only one to go), Ileana finished her class, and the League only has three more games to go. Ilea will soon be on summer vacations, so I won’t have to baby-sit Luis until August (thought I will still visit him frequently… yep, we’ve become very close. ) And Ulp will leave for the states soon, to work there for a few months. That means that I have a little more time to write now, and soon will have a lot more! 
Wil: So why write this ridiculous self-interview instead of another chapter of the RPGC story?
WM: Two reasons. First is that, before I can go back to the RPGC story, I need to re-study my notes, get back into the groove, as it were; I haven’t thought about it in a month, you know. But second, and more important, I wanted to do something for myself, something special: and I realized, hey, I’ve never done a Question thread on the Boards before… but people seem to HATE question threads here, perhaps because they’re always the same. So I decided to something crazy… and that’s why we’re here now, so to speak.
Wil: (shaking his head) Don’t you think people will find this utterly egocentric?
WM: Ego-what?
Wil: (sigh) SELFISH, Martinez!
WM: Oh. Yeah, but so? I mean, if we can have like three threads dedicated to how “wonderful” Sinistral’s hair is, I think we can have one for my little exercise in personal reflection. Besides, I don’t plan on doing another until I get to be fifty, so it isn’t like I’m going to toot my own horn all the time!
Wil: We’re running out of time, but I still have a couple of questions for you. First: you have a habit of writing words in ALL CAPS- heck, you’ve done that several times here already. Why?
WM: You said it, it’s a bad habit. I developed it back when I started writing for APAs; I do it for emphasis, the way some people underline words in text. You see it all the time in the Comic Book Boards I frequent.
Wil: Yeah, but in other places, people find it annoying- they think you’re SCREAMING at them!
WM: Yeah, I realize that now. I’m trying to switch to underlining now. Hopefully, this will be the last time I do it.
Wil: And Finally, here’s the main question of the interview: You are forty years old now. How do you feel about that?
WM: I have never felt better in life.
Wil: Really? What about your epilepsy?
WM: I’m happy to report I haven’t had a seizure in at least half a year. My pills have been working fine, though I have to take like 4 each day.
Wil: What about your bad back?
WM: I can deal with it.
Wil: And your poor eyesight?
WM: I’m getting new glas-
Wil: And your receding hairline?
WM: Hey, whose side are you on??
Wil: And how about your love lif-
WM:HEY!!
Wil: Sorry, got carried away. But face it, Martinez, you are no spring chicken. And everybody knows that when you reach 40, it’s all downhill then!
WM: Well, you’re right, aging is not easy, and can even be painful and humiliating. But you know what? I DON’T CARE! Why? Because LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE! For all I know, I will die tomorrow! Why worry, then? I’ll deal with the problems of aging as they come by. Heck, with modern medicine, I’ll probably live my older years better than most people today are doing. Meanwhile, I’m going to continue doing what I’m doing now, which is ignoring what I don’t have and instead enjoying what I DO have for as long as I can.
Wil: I thought you said you weren’t using all-caps again.
WM: I said I would start AFTER this story. Besides, you irritated me.
Wil: But I’m you.
WM: You’re a figment of my imagination. Now shut up and finish this so I can go watch the Jay Leno show.
Wil: O-kay… there you have it, folks, forty years of existence badly summed up for your entertainment. Catch Wilfredo The Writer next time on the next episode of The RPGC Saga, coming soon. And don’t miss the next episode of this show, where our guests will be Cher and Charo, who will mud-wrestle each other in a chocolate pool for our perverted entertainment! Until then,
BE WELL! 
Congratulations Wilfredo. Clever Idea. 