The IRS has rekindled my hate for humanity

And I don’t mean the IRS itself is pissing me off. Rather, it is WORKING for the IRS that is inciting my unbridled rage this time around. It’s one of the most menail jobs I’ve ever had, seemingly dragging on for endless hours and over three hundred paper cuts a day. And to make matters worse, I have to deal with every single person that has no idea how to put their taxes together. I don’t just mean the losers who bought TurboTax and never read the instructions; I mean professional accounting and tax preparation services are screwing my job performance over. Here’s what I mean:

-The most common problem is stapling any form over the entity section (that is, the name and address of the taxpayer at the top of the form). A simple mistake, easily fixed, etc. However, it’s just annoying when this keeps popping up.

-People hide their checks. Seriously. They stick them between pages fifteen and sixteen, turn them upside down, fold them in half, staple them to the back, etc. Then some people take it a step farther and tape the fucker down so tight it’s nearly impossible to remove without destroying the check or form. Folks, PLEASE let the check hang loose. We won’t lose your payment. I promise.

-I’m still seeing cash being sent in. And I don’t just mean money; I mean people are sending in whole debit and credit cards, jewelry, old coins, foreign currency, etc. These things will NEVER be accepted as actual payment. If you don’t have a checking account, BUY SOME FREAKING MONEY ORDERS.

-You don’t have to send us a cover letter detailing what’s enclosed in each set of forms. We know what’s supposed to be there, what goes on which line, etc. Besides, all those letters are bumped to the very back, where they will do you no good whatsoever.

-My training materials were stolen. This is more of a problem with my coworkers, but they were in my desk drawer one day, and then gone the next. This wouldn’t be a problem if one of those materials is government property, which means I’m facing my entire paycheck in fines at the end of the season.

-We don’t need to see your identification. Stop sending drivers licenses and passports.

-If you don’t have your taxes in by the 15th, tough. We’re not giving breaks unless they were arranged ahead of time.

-We don’t need to see photos of your kids.

-We are not Satan, folks. We do not actively plot the downfall of civilization. (It’s actually doing that itself quite nicely.) We just collect the money needed to fuel our ever-growing epic failures and disastrous, bloody wars. And to keep you from getting affordable health care.

-Don’t spill coffee on your forms. It’s nothing serious, but it just reflects badly on you.

-And above all else, DO NOT SEND US YOUR STATE FORMS! We’re the Feds, not the State treasuries. If you send us any state forms, they’ll take more than three weeks to eventually reach their intended destination, meaning you’ll be late on your return. So…HA!

There. I’ve sufficiently vented for now. Well, off I go to hang myself. Or get fired. Whatever comes first.

my father and sister are accountants, and they count every day until Tax Season is over. he even works Sundays to get thigns done at his own pace, and then people come to the door, and when he graciously lets them in so he can do their taxes, they complain because he makes it look like he’s not open. And my GOD, people are stupid, and seem to call over every little “incongruity” in their returns, like he doesn;t know what he’s doing - he’s only run his own business for the last 14 or so years.

Huh, my Dad tried to Turbotax his taxes last year. Made a mistake and wound up getting penalized to such a degree that he didn’t really get a tax refund at all; I think he might have actually lost money after all was said and done. He doesn’t do his own taxes after that, but is dedicated to the idea that I learn how to file my own taxes as soon as possible. Yes, because being the family scribe when it comes to other matters is not enough, taxes would be enjoyable too. Egad. -__- I’ll try to keep this list in mind of things not to do, though.

The very bright side of the whole deal is that you’ve got a government job. You never have to worry about layoffs or anything like that, plus, your fulfilling your civic duty, eh?

-We don’t need to see photos of your kids.

I guess it’s supposed to inspire pity.

My mum used to work in welfare as a case-worker. I imagine being in the IRS is no less stressful and thankless. >.>

Well, yeah, I don’t have to worry about that. However, the job is only temporary; I have only a few more weeks before I have to go looking AGAIN. And frankly, with all the nightmarish protocol issues I’ve had with this job (mostly because I hear fifteen different ways of filing from fifteen different supervisors), I’ll be glad this hell is over.

Still, at least the pay is good for a low-level job. ($11.32 an hour, time-and-a-half for overtime, 40 hours a week, etc.)

“Yeah Sarah, let 'em have my overcharged CC. Screw that, let’s go fishing.”

In defense of our stupidity, we all hate you.

I have misgivings about my tax return this year. The refund seemed unusually large. I’ve never quite made the same amount of money before, so perhaps it’s correct, but still…

Did it count the stimulus package in the tax refund? That could of done it.

Honestly, my taxes made me sad. How did I use so much money? I thought I took care of it…

A while ago I “auditioned” for a Canadian equivalent of IRS – Canada Revenue Agencies – but after all the exams and interviews I only got a nice “thank you and we’ll keep you on file for future openings” letter. So I switched sides, and now using my creative accounting skills I try to save my clients as much dough as possible. Yeah, screw IRS, screw CRA, and le screw de tabarnak Ministère du Revenu du Québec.

Edit: regarding the “screw” part of my message – just playing the role of a bad guy here, government tax agencies are the good guys, mostly.

This is why everyone should become pirates. On the River Saskatchewan.

Arrogant Worms for the win.

I made too much money this year to write off my student loan interest. :too bad:

Actually no that’s not the right icon, I want this one: :victoly: