Song I just wrote

I warn you now, this is NOT for someone who’s easily offended. It’s got a lot of EVERYTHING in it. So PLEASE take extreme caution in reading this. Remember, I am not glorifying what’s in these lyrics.

“Song and Rhyme”
Your life bleeds out of you
Cascading like a waterfall
All of it, a reddish hue
Those many times that you’d bawl
Say you didn’t care at all
I fucking told you
Didn’t I?

Told you not to start to cry
You fucking brought it up again
I goddamn bashed your face again

Sorry that all came over me
Never happen again, you see
You’ll never speak of it once more
You know what happens, 'cause of before
Some shit like that will rise again
You know you’ll say it again
Just let me get gun instead

< Chorus >

What’s this
You’re begging for your life this time
You know I don’t like that old song and rhyme
It won’t help you get out of this
You’re like a cat that only will hiss

< Chorus >
< Chorus >

Seems like I went too far this time
Never gonna hear that song and rhyme
How I loved to see you squirm
See you toss and turn
Bleed from beatings I gave you
Yell as I fucked you
You eventually stopped squirming
Eventually stopped tossing and turning

It wasn’t enough this time
I wanted more of the song and rhyme
Beat you too hard this time
Just for that damn song and rhyme

< Chorus >

Now they lock me away
Away in that caged hell
They say what I did was wrong
Try to tell me how long
Long I have to stay like this
Fucked by men who get off on piss
Beaten by people disgusted by me
Beaten until I can’t see

Now I sing this song and rhyme
Many many many a time
Funny the way life fucks with us
Makes you scream, makes you cuss
Not much I can do
‘cept move on to you
See you in due time
Can’t wait for that good ol’ song and rhyme

and have you thought about music for it…

I sorta have a little bit of a structure going. Nothing much as of yet.

I swayed against posting lyrics here, because lyrics really mean very little when it comes to constructing music. You have far more to work on when it comes to creating a song, that the lyrics come in almost last place in the list of things to do.

By providing us with these lyrics, you are doing nothing for what you want the song to be other than plastering the words on the screen. What kind of tempo will it have? What type of music is it?

I think you get my point.

I’m thinking around 150-160 bpm.
Kinda metal-ish sound, but not death metal, like the lyrics suggest to some.

Might make an amusing nu-metal song. Needs work. Not as bad as my early stuff, but still pretty bad. :stuck_out_tongue:

The Dr. Suessian rhyme scheme and the idiotic word repetition at one point make it hard not to do anything but laugh at (not with :p) these lyrics. Don’t give up writing lyrics, and don’t take this as bashing, I’m just telling the truth, like more people should.

God. I wish people had told me my lyrics were bad… :stuck_out_tongue:

EDIT: And its definately not death metal, its not graphic enough, and there’s no real death, just threat of it. I’d go with thrash/nu-metal (please say thrash :p).

CC hit it nearly PERFECTLY
That’s almost what I was going for, cept for the seussian writing ;p

The rhyme structure that I go for when I write is more…poeish, I guess.

…just in case you were interested.