The night silence was suddenly shattered with an unearthy scream that caused her skin to crawl. She ignored it and continued to dig, when something caught her eye, looking up, she dropped her shovel. Coming across the path was a demon, not just one, but lots of them. She rose to her feet as her thoughts froze, and her breathing stopped. Glowing red eyes looked at her, and she turned her eyes away fromt he sight of the glowing orbs. Each one stood at least seven feet in height, and must have weighed around six hundred pounds. They were covered in fur, had pointed ears, a snout and large sharp teeth. They stood on legs the size of tree trunks. They looked as though they each had eaten several people already. Just as the one who had been moving toward her came closer, something changed.
<b>I can’t help it. This is my favorite half paragraph in the book. Those 6 foot tall furry glowing eyeballs do it to me every time.</b>
<b>[The pet dog of the alien vampire werewolf psychic writer], it turns out, had been a medicine man in a previous life, and it’s never mentioned why he was reincarnated as a technicolor impared sheepdog. But that’s okay. I don’t think I want to know. Really.</b>
<b>And then Elspeth goes into a haunted house and sucked into an alternate universe where she’s captured by… wait for it… brace for it… you know you want to know this… PIRATES!!! Yes! Pirates! “Francios Blaize Martien, Captain of the pirate ship SeaBlaize. You can call me Blaize.”
And Blaize looks JUST like Alaric, who looks JUST like Legolas with dark hair, who looks just like Orlando Bloom who played a pira… HEY!</b>
And the vampire elf dude smells like strawberries when he’s in his werewolf form, for some reason.
Stuff like this get published? Oh my. On the other hand, it was published by a company who doesn’t read, edit, do any commercials or asks any questions. So… I guess that’s alright then.
Read and snigger.