Okay, so I was at work today- getting ready to close up (I work in the seafood department in a grocery store) when this lady comes up to me- screaming.
Crazy Lady: “GET ME SOMEONE IN PRODUCE!”
Me: “uh, okay… I think that she went home, but I’ll see if they’re there.”
CL: “If you don’t have anyone in there to help me, they might as well close the store!”
Me: “ignoring her I’ll go see if they’re there.”
checks, she’s in the back room cleaning
Me: There’s an insane bitchy lady here to see you.
she goes out, and I think that’s the end of it
But I was wrong. She came up to me asking for sea (large) scallops. I informed her that we had some thawed out in the case- and she told me that she wanted them in a plastic bag tagged up, like the bay (small) scallops were that day.
Me: I’m sorry, I can’t do that. We only bag them like that when they’re on sale.
CL: I’VE SEEN THEM LIKE THAT- I GO TO THIS STORE ALL THE TIME! I know- you’re keeping them from yourself! The scallops can’t come from nowhere!
Me: Uh, yeah. Like I said, I’m sorry. I can’t do that for you- if I were to bag them up frozen like that I’d have to do it for everyone, which I really don’t have time to do.
CL: muttering- I caught the words “filthy liar” Do you have any wahoo?
Me: Um… we’re out.
CL: URGH!
Then I hear her go to the store manager and yell at him for this GREAT tragedy. They just smiled and nodded- apparently she pulls this shit all the time.
I wish that was it.
She came up to me again, and acted like nothing happened. She asked me if they kept all our nuts in the produce. Since she was standing inside of said produce department, I said “yes.” :-p
Then she asked me if I had any plastic jars to put the licorice from the bulk candy case into.
Me: Uh… no.
CL: You have the oysters in plastic jars!
Me: Those are shipped to us. They have the labels already printed on them.
CL: How come you can’t dump the oysters out and give me one?
Me: Uh… first of all, that’s unsanitary. Second of all, that’d lose us money. Third of all, there are bags right there for it- it has the number that the cashiers need right on it.
CL: I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT!
Me: I would appreciate it if you didn’t swear at me.
CL: DON’T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT GUFF! stomps off
…
I talked to the store manager, and he told me that he ignores her, because she’s a “coocoo bird,” and I talked to the front end (cashier) manager, and she told me that she’s a COMPLETE nutball. Apparently, she “rescues” animals from everywhere, including people’s houses, and puts them in her apartment, where they shit and piss everywhere, and she builds bizarre cardboard structures where they live. She tells people about this at every opportunity she can. Not only that, but she forces the front end people to put each and every item in TWO bags. It doesn’t matter what it is- everything must be bagged individually, in paper AND plastic.
I just wanted to share this with you for some reason. I think it’s partially because a lot of you seem to brag about how “crazy” you or we all are, but when we see real insanity- it’s not fun- it’s pathetic, sad, and sometimes scary. That or I wanted you all to laugh at the crazy lady.
She actually said guff? That’s hilarious.
Ah, yes, that made my day. And restored my lack of faith in humanity. 