Press Release: North Korea Launches War Against RPGClassics

From the Office of the Staffetary of Website Security

My fellow RPGCommunity Members, I am sorry to say that RPGClassics is under attack by the North Koreans. They have changed their timezone. They have declared war against the very core of what we stand for.

It started as a Staff thing, but time zones are a touchy subject around RPGClassics. The mere mention of them will send even the sanest Staffer into a blind rage. Cooler heads will not prevail when time zones are mentioned because cooler heads will not exist. We’re lucky I can even attempt to rationally type this. What you don’t see is the 387 broken keyboards behind me from jamming the keys so hard because I’m so angry. TIMEZONES.

What North Korea has done will not stand. They have declared war. While I cannot put the theme colors back in, as the Staffetary of Website Security, I must officially raise the Uriel Alert Threat Level from vB4 Default - An Unknown but Presumed to Exist Risk of Uriel Attacks to Tutti Fruity - A Severe Risk of Uriel Attacks. While we cannot confirm that Uriel is working with the North Koreans, we cannot confirm that Uriel ISN’T working with the North Koreans. If North Korea is willing to attack us in such a blatant way, then surely they have the help of one Kim Jung Uriel.

I ask that you remain calm in these times of strife. Panic only means that the Uriels have won. Fear not. We shall survive. We shall persevere. We shall WIN. The North Koreans and Kim Jung Uriel shall not, will not, and CANNOT beat us. Times will be tough, but I know the RPGCharacter of all us shines brightest when faced with the darkness of Tutti Fruity. I have faith, and I know you do too.

Thank you, and Rast bless RPGClassics.

Daylight Savings Time.

What do we do if we side with North K?

I suppose that this is probably the only way to get at us with their NKoL '15 enabled Internet devices and high ticket modems.

Unless they’ve got Russia doing the actual dirty work, in which case even this spoiler tag won’t stop them from leaking my pics of Dick all over the Internet.

You post humiliating photos of Kero licking a Powerpuff Girl candle.

What if I’ve done that anyway?

You post humiliating photos of The 984 licking a Kero candle.

Kero would never lick a candle, you fuck boy.

Bah, Uriels don’t exist anymore…that’s an old wive’s tale!