I would like to make clear that this is, first and foremost, a spoof. I have absolutely no idea what generated this and I’m not sure I even want to know. So, just a warning- I wouldn’t read this anywhere high, except in an attic. You’re only likely to fall off your chair.
Did I mention I don’t own Chrono Trigger? shrugs Ah well, I’m sure you could’ve figured that one out.
Pointy Ears And Fish Fingers
The floating continent of Zeal actually did supply its citizens with most of the game they needed to survive. There was only one exception to this…
Fish.
It wasn’t that the continent didn’t have any fish, it was more that the fish that lived in the lakes were not at all tasty and sometimes poisonous, rather like fugu, but causing more deaths. And in the one place where it wasn’t a lake, there was a waterfall… and the fish inevitably fell over that waterfall.
Which meant that fish were imported from the continents below. Fortunately, the cost of doing this was very little- relatively at least- making those of the Earthbound Ones who traded in fish doing fairly well for themselves in the villages, despite the fact it didn’t really help them with those who lived in Zeal. Not that they really envied the Zealians, being busy eking out an existence in the snow that covered the lower continents.
And they most certainly wouldn’t have envied the Royal Family of Zeal, minus the King who was away on business, on an occasion when one of the cook’s ability with fish proved somewhat disastrous.
It began innocently, as all such disasters are wont to do. The fish had been shipped up to the kitchen and the cooks were busy bustling around, preparing the fish for the Royal Family’s meal.
However, one amoungst their number had only recently begun training with magic and was therefore trying to practise as often as he could.
“All right, break time!” called the head chef, pulling his apron off and hanging it on a hook with a useful and recently discovered spell. “Just leave the fish for now, it needs to have the juices sink into it!” (Note: I know nothing about the art of cooking fish. I don’t want to know anything about the art of cooking fish. So just go with this, okay?)
The other cooks left, relieved to have a break from being totured in the kitchen with things like carrots whacking them up their heads occasionally and the odd pointy thing flying in their direction. The aforementioned cook, however, decided to remain and test out some fire spells to see if he could manage to utilise it properly.
What are your thoughts? Haven’t gotten beyond this yet…