On the way home from karaoke tonight, slightly tipsy and looking for fun, we happened to run across the latest religious sensation sweeping the nation: the image of the virgin mary that appears in a stain on a Chicago freeway underpass. For those of you unfamiliar with what I am talking about, go here:
Given that it was around midnight, only a few people were standing around admiring it, and they were most likely as drunk and blasphemous as we were. During the day, crowds of over a hundred have been known to gather here. So what do we decide to do? Why, of course, take pictures of ourselves doing retarded things in front of it! Here are a few of the results:
A shot of the miracle by itself:
That’s me. Sup ladies I’m a DJ!
He only wishes he was a DJ. He also stole my fucking sunglasses
He wears that hat because he’s balding, and he’s only 20. Poor guy. But he has a huge wang so I don’t feel sorry in the least.
Oh shit girl what do I say
And that’s it. Our final conclusion was that the stain resembled more closely a big penis with a gaping vagina protruding from the base. I quipped that maybe that’s how she was able to give birth as a “virgin”. Also, if I were the Virgin Mary and some douche bag started comparing my infinitely beautiful holiness to some piss stain under a highway, you could bet I’d be doing everything i could to get that guy into the fiery depths. But I’m no virgin, and I’m certainly no woman, and I’m most definitely not holy, so I guess I wouldn’t understand.
I know what the stain on the wall is- It is a subtle ad for a guy who used to be on ebay called “Stainman”-Stainman claimed to have some solution he invented that removed gum stains from old valuable baseball cards- I am sure the Stainman is putting huge stains like that on walls in freeway underpasses to advertise he can “remove stains that big on walls so just think what i can do with tiny stains on old valuable baseball cards”.