The recurring theme is " Oh Shit". Just read it. Five sketches.
- Bird’s Gotta Fly.
" Are you about done over there yet?" the gnome Mage asked his human companion, who was sifting through a dirt pile, a typical sight in the
Un’Goro crater." Almost… I’m sure I saw something… There!" The human’s hand emerged from the dirt, clenching a bottle." Noggenfogger Elixir.
Someone must’ve lost it." " Great. What kind is it?" " Shrinking." " If you’re done with that, then can we go back to hunting those apes?" The human
grinned." Drink it." " What?" " Drink it." " No." " Come on!" " No way. I’ll shrink to the size of a mushroom." " It’ll be awesome." " No." " Yes." " No."
" Yes!" " No!" " Yes!" " No!" " No!" " Yes!" Silence." Aw, god damnit!" The human grinned." Just give me the damn bottle." the gnome mage grunted, swiping
Marin Noggenfogger’s special brew out of the human rogue’s hand." Heh, coo- what’s that over there?" " What?" " Something red… I’ll go check it out. Don’t
go anywhere!" " … Don’t worry." the mage muttered as the rogue sprinted off." Well, down the hatch." he said as he closed his wrinkly lips around the bottle.
" Jezus!" he said as the bottle, wich now seemed huge, fell in the earth beside him." Wow… This is weird." he muttered." Sqwraaaaa!" He whipped around, to face…
One of the native parrots. Only, to him, it now seemed about as big as a house." … Oh, shi-"
The rogue returned shortly, a few red gems in his hand." Check out these gems, man! They’re huuuhuh?.." He stopped." Maddle? Where are ya?" he looked around the clearing the
gnome had been in just moments ago." Maddle? Where the hell did ya go?!" High above him in the trees, a parrot sang.
(( Yes, I know parrot’s don’t sing… Shut up.))
- Necrophilliac.
Somewhere in Ogrimmar, a blood elf sat up in his bed groggily." Ow, god damn it…" he muttered, clutching his head. He had the worst hangover he had had in all his years.
Served him right for staying in the inn all night, partying with that Orc and Tauren. And there was another person, a… A Forsaken, if he remembered correctly." One heck of a
par-" He stopped talking abruptly as he turned around and looked next to him. There, next to him, was the very same Forsaken of the last evening. His gasp was more a squeak. The
Forsaken stirred and sat up. Both stared at each other. Both’s mind’s broke and caught fire. Both leapt away from each other and backed against the wall. Both cried " OH, SHIT!". The
red haired elf shook his head wildly, as if he was trieing to wake up from a nightmare." Does… this make me a necrophilliac?!" " Does this make me GAY?!" the Forsaken roared.
(( Worst thing to ever happen.))
- The Great Marshmallow Chunk, Balaris Bluffstalker.
The tauren hunter grimaced as he saw the elemental standing over the corpse of his scorpid." Okay, Blazerunner. You might have bested Bruto… But now you face me directly! The great hunter,
Balaris Bluffstalker, the Skullhammer!" Blazerunner squinted.
" Aaargh!" the tauren roared as he soared off the peek of the volcano, and saw he was headed straight for a lava spring that was flooding with elementals." Oh, shi-"
(( Happened to me. Almost word for word. That Blazerunner has a knockback attack, you don’t wanna know. I BOUNCED on my way down.))
- Track Demons Would’ve Been Handy, There.
" I’m telling you, man." said the young tauren, standing on the bridge over the great Stonebull Lake next to Bloofhoof Village." I saw it. A demon, on the bottom of the lake." " Oh jus’ shut up." said his
friend." There ain’t no demons in Mulgore… Well, except for your sister." " Heh, yeah… But, seriously, I saw it! I was swimming around, collecting reeds, and it swam right past me!" Behind them,
an older tauren appeared." What are you calves twittering about?" " Talbre said he saw a huge demon in the lake." " What? That’s nonsense." " I saw it!" The older tauren grunted and shook his head.
" I can see you two aren’t going to shut up any time soon. I’ll go look." " Really?" " Yeah, sure. Whatever." he said as he took a running start and jumped into the lake. Several minutes passed, and
he finally resurfaced on the other side of the bridge." See? No de… mon." he said as he saw an all too familiar leg float up beside him." Uhm…" Talbre spoke as a huge, bloodshot eye on a tentacle surfaced
behind the other tauren, who slowly turned around." Oh, shit!" he said as he was dragged under, blood staining the water red. The two younglings looked at each other." Told you he’d fall for it." " I guess I owe
you thirty copper, then."
(( Based on me seeing a level 24 demon in Stonebull Lake once. Was probably a passing Warlock’s imp or something though.))
- Lifeless Stone Is Quality Stone.
" Woohoo!" the dwarf exclaimed." Outland, here we coooome!" " Calm down, sir Ironbeard." his night elf companion spoke." These lands are as blasted as they are treacherous, and we don’t know what’s lurking around this portal."
" I know what is… The smell of fat loot!" " I thought you just smelled funny." a gnome said from atop his mechanostrider." Shut it." the dwarf said." Look! It’s the portal!"
…
" That’s not encouraging." the night elf said, pointing at some deep craters just outside the portal." It’ll be fine." the dwarf said." If you two are too pussy, I’ll go first." " You do that." the gnome said." Agreed."
the nightelf spoke." We don’t know what lurks behind this portal, after all." " Whatever." the dwarf said." Booyah!" he said as he jumped through.
A short minute of silence passed.
" Okay, pay up." " Damn it."
The dwarf blinked as he stood up." Outland… Not much around here on firs-" He was rudely cut off by a huge foot slamming into the ground next to him. He looked up, and saw the biggest Infernal he had ever seen right in front
of him." Mommy." he squeaked as the creature’s second foot approached directly from the front.
" What’s taking that damned dwarf so long?" the nightelf growled." He’ll be right back I’m su-"
PONG!
…
The gnome poked his head out of his harness." What the fuck was that?!" " It looked like some sort of projectile." " Took my strider’s head clean off."
" AAAARGH!" the dwarf shouted as he soared over the Blasted Lands." Is that a… mountain?" he muttered, barely hearing himself over the shrieking winds.
The impact was deafening.
The explosion on impact, however, was even more so.
(( What can I say?))