My first fanfic...FF: Mystic Quest Redux

Yup, this is my latest writing project. I’m going to novlise Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest. Hey…HEY! Get back here!!

I’m not JUST going to novelise it. I’m going to shatter this game, melt down the pieces and reforge it into what it could have…nay, SHOULD have been. I will make it bigger and better than anyone ever thought it could be…hopefully. ^^;

Now, without further ado…

<center>FINAL FANTASY: MYSTIC QUEST
Redux</center>

PROLOGUE
The Rise and Fall of the Dark King

The world was being torn apart by war.

Armies of fierce demons and fiercer warriors were tearing the land asunder.

Lead by a cruel conqueror named Ventharion, humanity didn’t have a chance.

But how could one man gain so much power? How could one man bring all of the land to it’s knees?

Cassius Ventharion was eternally plagued with a insatiable thirst for knowledge and power. Once a nobleman, he shunned society and locked himself in musty libraries and spent countless hours obsessing over old tomes and grimoires.

Most people disregarded him, thinking him insane. Perhaps they were not wrong.

One day, after years of relentless pursuit, Ventharion found what he was looking for.

He discovered a book that gave the means to invoke powerful demons. And that he did. Summoning forth a demon lord of great power, Ventharion bargained his soul for power, knowledge and immortality.

The first thing he did was put his newfound strength and knowledge to work building a weapon for himself. For an entire year, he worked on forging a weapon for himself that would aid him in his conquest. No longer did he need to eat or sleep. Day and night, from sunrise to sunset, he worked.

His final creation was a mighty scepter, forged from precious metals and gems and imbued with the darkest and most forbidden of the arcane magicks. With it, he could summon forth and contain the powers of the demons at will.

His power secured and his weapon complete, Ventharion’s campaign had began.
He began ripping towns and kingdoms apart, demanding that the people serve him or be annihilated. Many opted to become his servants. Some feared him, others wanted a taste of his power.

Soon, he had an army. And soon, the world would feel his wrath.

In the very center of the continent, Ventharion and his followers began forging a grand fortress for him from a great mountain. And while this was happening, he conquered. All who got in his way were destroyed or made slaves.

In what seemed like no time at all, his fortress was complete.
He named it Doom Castle.

For many months, Ventharion watched the world from Doom Castle, destroying anything on a whim. Every single man, woman and child in the world feared him and obeyed him, for the alternative was painful death…or worse.

He became known as The Dark King.

But what he didn’t know was that he was not without opposition…

Meeting in secret, in places hidden from the Dark King’s omnipresent eyes, was a group of men and women whose goal was to dethrone the King. A rebellion, if you will.

Led by a group of four mighty wizards, the group slowly but surely worked against him. They ambushed his death squads, destroyed his supplies, freed slaves…all from right under his nose.

But Ventharion would not remain ignorant for long, as they all surely knew. Soon enough, he discovered their headquarters. Most of them fled, but many died.

All seemed hopeless. The wizards decided it was time for their last resort…

The Crystals…

The four Crystals…each representing one of the forces of nature that made up the world; Air, Fire, Water and Earth.

Together, they held the world – or what was left of it – in balance. Such was their power that even the Dark King could not take him. Everyone was thankful for that, for if he could harness the power of the Crystals, he would become a god.

The four wizards who led the rebellion were the sworn guardians of the Crystals. For ages, their bloodline had kept them safe from harm.
They had sworn a sacred oath to always use the power for peaceful means, and never for violence.

But as the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures.

They journeyed forth into the resting place of the crystals, and, for the first time in millennia, removed them.

With the nigh-invincible power of the Crystals in their hands, they gave to the King’s forces everything that they had been given themselves. They never stood a chance.

Ventharion immediately knew. For the first time in years, he felt a hint of fear.

He called his strongest generals to his side for his protection, but it was no use. After a long, hard battle, the wizards had defeated him.

But such was the Dark King’s power that he was beyond death.

The wizards did the next best thing; They stripped away as much of his strength as they could, and sealed him inside his massive fortress.

It was finally over. Light had triumphed over darkness.

It was decided that they could not risk the Dark King ever freeing himself. Over the next few years, many people began constructing a massive tower over the sole entrance to Doom Castle. With the aid of the Crystals, it was soon completed.

It had been christened “Focus Tower”. At the very bottom floor, where the gate to the Castle was, a magical seal was created. The wizards locked the seal with four magical coins.

Their job completed, the Crystals were returned to their places, and the barriers around them were reinforced. To further ensure their safety, the wizards hid the coins with the Crystals, so that they, too, would be protected.

After what had seemed like an eternity, peace had returned.

The gigantic monolith that was Focus Tower eternally loomed in the center of the continent. Over the years, it evolved into a trade route. As it was built into a mountain, it allowed easier access to the upper regions of the world.

The years that passed swiftly became decades, centuries, eons…history began to fade into myth and legend, and in time, the Dark King was forgotten.


Thousands of years have passed since the end of the war, and unbeknownst to all but a select few, the King still sleeps...deep underground, he waits for the moment when he can return to the world and have his revenge...

Deep, deep underground, in one of the darkest chambers of the ruin that once was Doom Castle, give cloaked figures were having a meeting.

“My generals...” the lead one said. He spoke in a low, raspy tone. “My friends...my brothers in arms...I think our time may have finally come.”

The one standing to his immediate right responded. “You...you’re serious, my lord?”
“I am.” He said back.
“I can hardly believe it...” said a woman’s voice from behind another one of the cloaks. “Gods...how many years have we been trapped in here like rats in cages?”
“Five thousand, four hundred and sixty-three years.” said a cool voice beside her.
“You...counted?” she said.
“Not much else to do in this tomb.”

The leader spoke again. “That is irrelevant. I believe I have found a means to finally leave.”

They all fell silent, listening closely.

“All the time I spent when we were not in magically-induced sleeps, I have spent in my library. My books are what gave me power in the first place, and I have no doubt that they will bring it back. As you all probably don’t know, I have been slowly regaining my strength over the centuries. I am still nowhere near where I once was...and at the current rate, it would take tens of thousands of years to get it back. As it is, I don’t have the power to free myself...”


“...however, I believe I may have sufficient power to free all of you.”

The group was stunned. In unison, they started babbling.

“What?” “You can?” “How?”

“Silence!” the leader shouted. “Do not worry about how it will be done. Worry about what you are going to do once you are out there.”

After several moments of stunned silence, the man on the right spoke.

“Um...what WILL we do, lord?”

“Simple. I need more power to free myself. You’re going to bring me the power of the Crystals.”

“WHAT?!” they shouted together.

“Calm yourselves!” he said. “To answer the question you have not yet asked, yes, the Crystals are well guarded. I knew the Crystals were the key...but I had no means how. Finally, I have found the solution.”

“I have done much research. I have found out that the defensive spells do not protect the crystals themselves, but simply stop them from being removed from their resting places.”

One of the cloaked ones rose an eyebrow. “But...how does that help us? What does this mean?”

“It means, Serrith, that we can harness the power of the Crystals another way. Once I free you all, you will use a spell of my creation to slowly sap their energies. No-one but the bloodline of the Guardians can remove the crystals, and that even I cannot stop.”

He grinned. “But that leaves us more leeway than it may seem. I have been using the years to craft a powerful spell that can channel the power of the Crystals into us without moving them. You will drain them for me. With the crystals weaken, the world will slowly crumble, and once I have the power, I can finally be free of my shackles!”

For a moment, no-one responded. One of them stepped forward. “My lord...can this really work?”

The leader chuckled darkly. “Of course it can, Marus. This is foolproof. However, it never hurts to have contingency plans.”

He passed each of them a shard of what looked like quartz. “I have saved these for all these years for a time when we could use them...that time is now. In these crystals are the essence of the most powerful demons I have ever summoned. Use them at a time you deem worthy.”

The one called Serrith spoke again. “When shall we implement this plan, lord?”

“Immediately!”

With that, his hands began to glow.

“Marus...Serrith...Damia...Lethe...my generals...my comrades...it has been so long...oh, so long...but the time has come...the time is NOW! Go forth and bring me the power of the Crystals! In the name of the Dark King...GO!”

There was a bright flash...and the King was alone.

“Soon...” he said to no-one, “very soon...I shall cast darkness upon this world...and it will all belong to be once again...”

He began to laugh. A long, hard, malicious laugh. With no-one but himself to hear, it echoed eerily through the cold halls of Doom castle.

























CHAPTER I
Benjamin’s Destiny



Benjamin was who you would call an average boy. Born an raised on a farm, he was a hard worker and a good son, and overall an average Joe.

He had a good life, but as he got older he began to wish for something more. He was stricken with an insatiable wanderlust.

One day, he decided to come forward and talk to his parents. He wanted to go out in search for adventure.

At first they were – quite naturally – hesitant to agree. These were dangerous times...monsters were becoming increasingly violent and strange phenomena were happening throughout the world. But they soon realized that they could do nothing to stop him.

On his twentieth birthday, his uncle – a skilled blacksmith – forged him a sword from fine steel, and on that day he set out in search of adventure...

“Hmm…”

At the moment, Benjamin was consulting a map that his parents gave him, pondering his first destination.

“If I keep traveling east, I’ll eventually hit the Foresta region…that seems like a good place to head. But in order to get there, I have to pass by this mountain. What’s it called again…ah. Mount Destiny. What an apt place to start an adventure…”

And thus, he set out. Traveling by day, and resting by night, often stopping to practice with his sword. He had no formal training to speak of, save for a rundown of the basics of swordsmanship from his uncle, but he seemed to have a natural talent for it. Still, it wouldn’t take a master to notice that he was an amateur.

Soon enough, he came to Mount Destiny. It was fairly small, as far as mountains go, and the path through it was surprisingly smooth and linear. But Benjamin had a felling that there was more to the mountain than meets the eye…

“Well, guess I’d better get to it.” He said to himself, and began the long trek.


The journey up Mount Destiny was fairly nondescript, as was expected. But as he neared the summit, his leisurely stroll was interrupted by an “EARTHQUAKE!”

The ground began to tremble violently, and rocks began to fall around Benjamin. Panicking, he ran, trying to find a safe spot. Soon, the ground began to tear itself asunder. He flatting himself against a firm wall, and prayed for it to stop, when he heard a voice cry out.

“Someone! Please! Help me!”

He looked around and saw an old man hanging off  a shaking cliff. Without thinking, he ran to the man’s aid. He extended his hand and shouted for the man to grab it. The man did so and Benjamin pulled him up. The two quickly ran off, looking for safety.

With a mighty rumble, a great fissure appeared in the middle of the path. The old man ran and leapt across it with surprising agility. Benjamin was dumbstruck for a moment.

“Don’t just stand there!” he shouted. “Jump!”

Benjamin quickly regained his sense and leapt across the chasm. Several large rocks fell in the spot where he was standing as he ground crumbled away.

Moments later, the shaking stopped.

Both men stopped to catch their breath.

“Huff...thank you, young man. If you hadn’t shown up, I would have been a goner.”
“Think nothing of it, sir.” Benjamin responded. “I did what any honest man would have done in my shoes.”

He looked the old man over. He was fairly plain-looking, clad in a long brown coat and bearing a large, shaggy mane of snow-white hair, with a mustache and large beard to match.

“My name’s Benjamin.”
“Nice to meet you, Benjamin, though I wish the circumstances could have been better. Call me Lucas.”
“Nice to meet you as well, Lucas.”
Lucas chuckled, though at what, Benjamin wasn’t sure. 
“Heh...I think my age is starting to catch up with me...my old bones ache. Do you think you can escort a tired old man to the summit?”

Benjamin saw no reason to deny him this, and thus, they continued on until they reached the highest point on the path. The two looked over the edge and were rewarded with a breathtaking view of the scenery, though Benjamin immediately noticed one thing. The vast sea of trees that made up the Foresta region – normally a lush green this time of year – was mostly composed of sickly yellows and browns.

“You notice the trees too, I see.” said Lucas. “These are troubling times...the world is not well.”

Benjamin raised an eyebrow at these words.

“Look over there.” said Lucas, pointing. “What do you see?”

Benjamin looked in the direction he pointed.

“I see Focus Tower.”
“Exactly. And what do you know about Focus Tower?”
“It’s a trade route. But it’s been closed fort the past few months...why, I don’t know.”

The old man chuckled again. “There are lots of things you don’t know. But one thing you should know...the world needs help.”
“What do you mean?” asked Benjamin, once again raising a brow.
“You can see it everywhere. Monsters becoming more violent, Foresta’s trees dyeing...and more. What this world needs,” Lucas said, giving Benjamin a look, “is a hero.”

“A...hero?”

Once again, Lucas chuckled. “Yes. A hero. Someone to fight for the LOOK OUT!”

The two were interrupted when a large, horned beast known as a Behemoth was charging at them, snarling. Without thinking, Benjamin drew his sword.

The beast balked for a moment after seeing the blade, but quickly charged again and tried to impale Benjamin on its horns. Benjamin leapt aside and struck at it’s tough hide with his sword. The thing let out a howl of pain.

Angered, and rushed again, attempting to gore him. Again, Benjamin met the blow and stabbed the beast. This time, his blow struck home. With one last roar, the monster fell to the ground, dead.

“You’re a natural with that sword, boy.” Lucas said, impressed. “Like I was telling you...the world needs a hero. You can be that hero, Benjamin.”

“Me?” Benjamin said, confused. “I’m no hero...I’m just a farm boy who wanted to make something of himself.”

“You will, Benjamin...believe me, you will.” Lucas said cryptically.

“Now...make your way to Level Forest. You will know where to go from there.”

Before Benjamin could say anything more, there was a bright flash and Lucas was gone, leaving Benjamin to feel confused.

Not knowing what else to do, he began the trek down the mountain and into Level Forest.

Soon, Benjamin found his way into what should have been the immense greenery of Level Forest. It looked worse up close.

Lumber was the biggest expert from the Foresta region. It was well known for fine trees. But all the trees were withered and rotting, their leaves dried out and brown.

“What…could have caused this?” he thought out loud.

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice. “Back! Back, you foul imps! BACK, I say!”

He turned and saw an old man in a blue cloak trying his best to fend off a horde of goblin-like creatures with a withered tree branch. Individually, the creatures were no match for him. They were small – about a foot in height each – with brownish skin and covered in red cloth.

Unfortunately for the man, they had him outnumbered by a long shot. Leaping around like rabbits, furiously punching and kicking, they would overwhelm him soon enough.

Benjamin ran forward and swung his sword, instantly cleaving a number of them in two. Seeing this, the rest of them scattered.

“Thank you, good sir!” the old man said, his hand on his heart.

“It was no problem.” Benjamin responded. “Why were you out here, anyway?”

“Well,” he began, “I hail from the village of Foresta, where many of the townsfolk – especially the children – are sick from a disease which none of us can identify. I was out here looking for some herbs so we could make medicine. Kaeli, one of the village girls, is quite skilled at it.”

The man sighed. “Poor Kaeli…she absolutely loves the forest. I don’t know what’s killing the trees, but it’s tearing her apart.”

“But I digress. Anyhow…where was I? Ah, yes. Those brownies attacked me! I don’t understand…they’re normally so docile. They would never come within a yard of any humans, and suddenly they’re trying to kill me?”

Benjamin pondered this for a moment. “This is…very strange.” he said.

“Say…would you mind showing me the way to Foresta?”

“Why, certainly, young man.” the man responded. “It’s the least I can do. Come on.”


It was a short walk to Foresta Village. When Benjamin arrived, the first thing he noticed was that there were barely any people around.

“Half the village is sick in bed.” the old man said, seeing Benjamin’s confusion.

“Yikes...” Benjamin said. After thinking for a moment, he asked. “Where does this Kaeli live?”

“In that house over there.” The man said, pointing. “She lives with her mother. Her father is a sailor – captain of his own ship, if I recall – and he’s hardly ever home.”

“Thanks again,” Benjamin said, as he walked toward the house.

He couldn’t explain it, but [i]something[/i] told him that it was important that he meet Kaeli.

He was about to knock on the door when it open, revealing a middle-aged woman with reddish-brown hair. “Um...hello, sir.” she said.

“Does Kaeli live here?” Benjamin asked.

“She does.” the woman said. “What business do you have with Kaeli?”

“I...have some questions that I think she could answer.”
“Very well. Come in. Would you like some tea?”
“No, thanks.”

Benjamin walked in. The place was fairly small, but quite cozy. 
“Kaeli!” the woman called. “There’s someone here to see you!”
“Coming, mother!” a voice responded.

From the other room emerged a girl about seventeen, with shoulder-length red hair and a well-rounded figure, wearing a green dress.

“May I help you, sir?” she asked politely.
“My name is Benjamin. Can you tell me what happened to the forest?”

She blinked several times. “Well...I’m not too sure myself. About a month or two ago, the plants and trees just started dyeing, and nothing new will grow. Shortly after, people started getting sick. No-one has any clue why...”

She gave him a weird look. “Who did you say you were?”

“Just...passing through.”

“You have the look of an adventurer about you.” she said, smiling.
“Perhaps you can help me...”
“Help you with what?” asked Benjamin, interested.
“Well...our stores of herbal medicine are quickly running dry, and we can’t make much more of it. I heard humors that in a cave to the north that people call the Sand Temple, there are some great treasures...one of which is a powerful healing potion known as Elixer.”

Benjamin smiled. Lucas said that the world needed a hero...and he though that maybe the idea of being one wasn’t so bad after all.”
“Say no more. I’ll go find the Elixer for you.”
“Oh, no. I want you to escort me to the Sand Temple.”

It was Benjamin’s turn to blink.

“Er...no offense, but don’t you think it would be wiser if I went alone? I could focus more on the task at hand if I didn’t have to protect you.”

Kaeli let out a single, loud “HAH!”

“I don’t need anyone to protect me.” She said. Hanging on a nearby wall was a good-sized battle axe, which Kaeli swiftly grabbed. She twirled it several times to show off her skill with it.

“You just worry about covering your own ass. The reason I asked is, honestly, it would be insane to go through the forest alone at this time. The creatures are turning violent, and on top of that, weird things are happening. I’m going anyway...the people of this town NEED Elixer. If you want to help me, I’d appreciate it. If not, then you know where the door is. That won’t stop me. Besides, no-one knows their way around the forest like I do. I’ve been exploring it since I was three and I know it like the back of my hand.”

A grin began to creep it’s way across Benjamin’s face. “I like you, Kaeli...you’ve got spirit. Alright, you’ve got yourself a traveling companion.”

“Allright!” she shouted happily. “Let’s get right on it!” With that, she bolted out the door. Benjamin sighed and started to follow her when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Kaeli’s mother.

“Benjamin, you said your name was?” she asked. “I know that Kaeli can take care of herself, but all the same, I worry. I can’t help it. Please try and look out for her.”

Benjamin nodded in response. “I will.”

“Thank you. Now hurt along before she leaves you behind.”

“Good idea.” With that, Benjamin swiftly turned around and ran after her.

“I didn’t realize how big this forest was before…”
“Oh, Level Forest is huge! It covers more than half of the region!”
“I wish I came at a better time…I’m sure it looked nice before…you know…”
“It did.” Said Kaeli in a saddened tone. “It was beautiful. I hope that someday I can figure out what caused this horrid rot so I can get rid of it.”

With Kaeli in the lead, the two navigated the deep forest. Occasionally they were attacked by brownies. After several of them met a swift and messy end to Kaeli’s axe, the frequency of the attacks was drastically lowered.

“I must admit, you’re pretty damn good with that axe.” Benjamin said.
“It comes from growing up in a place where lumber is a big export.” Kaeli responded cheerfully. “About half the people who live in Foresta have to learn to use an axe if they want to work. Of course, cutting down monsters is a lot different than cutting down trees, but it’s the same basic principle.”
“I can see that…” said Benjamin, noticing the remains of the latest brownie to attack them.

The two went deeper still, when Benjamin heard a weird sound.
“Kaeli…do you hear that?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do…” she responded. “It sounds like…something oozing…”

From behind some nearby bushes, several large globs of slime emerged.

“Ew!” Benjamin and Kaeli exclaimed in unison. Slowly, the globs coalesced and started to ooze toward them.

“What IS that?!” Benjamin shouted, stepping back.
“Some kind of slime creature!” Kaeli responded. “They’re usually pretty rare in these parts!”

The thing oozed closer, dissolving most of the plants that were in it’s path.

“Can we kill it?” Benjamin asked, drawing his sword.
“I hope so,” said Kaeli, squeezing the handle of her axe.

Benjamin leapt forward and slashed his sword at the pulsating mass. It went right through it with little resistance and some chunks came off. They didn’t grow back.
“We CAN hurt it!” exclaimed Benjamin. “Just keep at it!”

The slime quivered and launched several balls of slime at the pair. Kaeli dodged it easily, but Benjamin was too slow and got some on his arm.

“AAAHHHH! It burns!” he yelled frantically. He shook his arm wildly to get the slime off. There was a nasty burn where the acidic goo was.
Shrieking a war cry, Kaeli brought her axe down as hard as she could into the gunk. It splattered and began to dissipate.

“Here,” Kaeli said, wiping sweat off her brow. “Let me look at that burn.”

Benjamin presented his singed arm. Kaeli put her hands over it and chanted some words under her breath. Her hands took on a blue shimmer, and the burn started to heal.

“Wow…” said Benjamin, utterly amazed. “Was that…magic?”
“A simple healing spell.” She responded. “It’s easy enough. Some people have a knack for it, but almost anyone can do the simple stuff. If you want, I can teach you sometime.”
“Yeah…I’d like that.”

Once again, they traveled down the forest path. They encountered quite a few more brownies and several more slime monsters along the way.

“The road to the Sand Temple lies just beyond this…path…”

They stopped in their tracks. In the middle of the path was a smallish pine tree. For some unknown reason, it had a strange orange glow about it.

“There’s something…evil, about that tree.” Benjamin said.
“Well,” Kaeli responded, brandishing her axe, “I know one way to get rid of a tree.”
“Be careful.”

She stepped forward hacked at the tree. As soon as she made the first cut, the glowing tree gave off a flash of light. When it subsided, a large, burly man with the head of a bull was standing in it’s place.

“Surprise!” it shouted with a snarl, as it threw something at Kaeli. It hit her, and she fell with a scream.

“AAHH!” she put a hand to her neck and felt a dart, which she swiftly pulled out. She put it to her nose and sniffed it.

“He’s…poisoned…me…” she wheezed, as she struggled to right herself. “Just…like…he did…the trees…”
The minotaur simply laughed. He held up his muscled arm and clicked his fingers. A large axe materialized in his hands. He let out a roar and raised the axe above Kaeli.

“NO!” Benjamin shouted. He rushed forward and stabbed the beast in the gut. It yelled out in pain and turned it’s attention to Benjamin.

The bull-man grunted and assumed a combat stance. Benjamin responded in kind.
The thing charged forward and swung wildly. Benjamin was able to evade easily enough. The thing seemed to be fighting Berserker-style, without technique. His swings with tough, but slow. Benjamin played this to his advantage. The beast raised his axe and prepared to cleave Benjamin in two.
This was the opportunity Benjamin had waited for. He swiftly lunged forward and pierced the beast through the heart.

The thing gasped and dropped the axe, then fell to the ground.

Benjamin ran to Kaeli’s side. She looked quite sick.

“Bag…” she moaned. “Bottle…red…liquid…”

Benjamin looked into Kaeli’s travel pack. Sure enough, there was a bottle of red liquid. He pulled the cork out with his teeth and poured the contents into Kaeli’s waiting mouth. She swallowed, then coughed a few times.

“Argh…that stuff tastes awful…but it works.”
“Are you okay?” Benjamin asked.
“The bastard got me with poison.” she said darkly. “I’m betting that something similar is making the villagers sick…you need to get the elixir. The medicine I took will take some of the edge off the poison…temporarily at least.”

With a little effort and a lot of help from Benjamin, she stood up.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“No.” she responded with a half-smile. “But the medicine gave me enough strength to get home under my own power. I’ll need some Elixer.”
“I’ll go an get it.”
“Thank you…the Sand Temple is just a little further due north…”
She coughed again. Before Benjamin could say anything, she said “Don’t worry! I can get home fine…”

Benjamin was unconvinced, but he decided not to argue. Without another word, he set off for the Sand Temple.

CHAPTER II
Sand, Rock and Bone

Benjamin found his way out of the forest easily enough. What surprised him was that on the other side of the forest was a large desert.

There was the entrance to a cave in a distant rock face. Sighing, Benjamin began walking toward it.

‘Considering that this is a desert,’ he thought, ‘it really isn’t all that hot. I really have to wonder how a desert and a large forest can exist so close to each other…’

In due time, he made it to the Temple. He wasn’t sure why people called it that. It was just a cave. And a fairly small one. Lit torches lined the walls.

The Temple was fairly easy to navigate. In the chamber next to the one where Benjamin entered was a large chest. ‘Hmm,’ Benjamin said to himself, ‘I wonder if the Elixir is in there…only one way to find out, I guess.’

He leaned forward and started to open the chest, when suddenly, a throwing star lodged itself in the chest, inches away from his hand.

“I don’t think so, kid.” Said a voice from behind him.

Benjamin froze in place, unsure what to say.

“Stand up and turn around.”

Benjamin did so. The voice had belonged to an older-looking man – Benjamin guessed that he was in his mid-to-late thirties – dressed in the garb of a ninja. He had long, black hair tied into a ponytail, dark, piercing eyes, and a handful of throwing knives.

“You don’t look like a common thief.” He said. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here, kid?”

Benjamin decided that at the moment, the wises course of action would be to do as he said. “My name is Benjamin. I came here looking for Elixer. The people of Foresta are very sick, and need it to cure them.”

The man chuckled. “Your cause is noble, at least. You picked the right box, by the way. Or at least it would be, if I didn’t find it first.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of glowing blue liquid.
“Is that…”
“You bet your ass it is, kid.” the ninja said with a grin.
“I don’t suppose I can have it?” Benjamin asked, shrugging.
“Hey, this is valuable stuff, kid. I can’t just give it away.”
“Please don’t call me kid. I’m twenty.” Benjamin interrupted.
“That makes me seventeen years your senior, KID. As I was saying, this is pricey stuff. But I’m a fair man. I’ll sell it to you for, say…nine thousand gil?”
“NINE THOUSAND?!” Benjamin exclaimed, his eyes widening.
“I told you this stuff was pricey…” the ninja responded, rolling his eyes.
“I NEED this stuff. Can’t we work something out?”

The older man took a moment to think about this.

“Alright…I like you, kid. You came here to get this stuff, and for that, I commend you. So I’ll make you a deal. A bit further north is a huge temple known as the Bone Dungeon. Inside the bone dungeon supposedly sleeps some fantastic treasures. You help me find the treasures, and the elixir is yours. No charge.”
Benjamin didn’t hesitate. “Deal.”
“Fantastic!” The man put away his knives. “Now, introductions: The name’s Tristam, treasure hunter extraordinaire and purveyor of all that is shiny. You?”
“Benjamin. Unlikely hero out for adventure.”
Tristam laughed. “I like you, kid. I think you and me are gonna get along juuust fine.”
“You know my name now. Do you have to keep calling me ‘kid’?”
“Why, yes. Yes I do.”


(To be continued...)

I CRAVE FEEDBACK! Tell me what you all think, and do NOT hold back!

Don’t hold back? Okay! punches GG in the gut with the Fist of Approval This is a damn good story! Although I still argue with that “Underneath the Tower” bit…

It’s called a creative liberty. Deal with it. :smiley:

Looking good, GG.

Outside of a few errors, it’s alright. I like it so far.

I gotz teh chapt0r for you. Just a note…for some weird reason, my browser crashed whenever I tried to edit my previous post, so I’m just poting Chapter 2 in it;s entirety here. And since I can’t edit it, let me just say that I fix quite a few typoes and miswordings in the first two chapters.


Benjamin found his way out of the forest easily enough. What surprised him was that on the other side of the forest was a large desert.

There was the entrance to a cave in a distant rock face. Sighing, Benjamin began walking toward it.

‘Considering that this is a desert,’ he thought, ‘it really isn’t all that hot. I really have to wonder how a desert and a large forest can exist so close to each other…’

In due time, he made it to the Temple. He wasn’t sure why people called it that. It was just a cave. And a fairly small one. Lit torches lined the walls.

The Temple was fairly easy to navigate. In the chamber next to the one where Benjamin entered was a large chest. ‘Hmm,’ Benjamin said to himself, ‘I wonder if the Elixir is in there…only one way to find out, I guess.’

He leaned forward and started to open the chest, when suddenly, a throwing star lodged itself in the chest, inches away from his hand.

“I don’t think so, kid.” Said a voice from behind him.

Benjamin froze in place, unsure what to say.

“Stand up and turn around.”

Benjamin did so. The voice had belonged to an older-looking man – Benjamin guessed that he was in his mid-to-late thirties – dressed in the garb of a ninja. He had long, black hair tied into a ponytail, dark, piercing eyes, and a handful of throwing knives.

“You don’t look like a common thief.” He said. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here, kid?”

Benjamin decided that at the moment, the wises course of action would be to do as he said. “My name is Benjamin. I came here looking for Elixir. The people of Foresta are very sick, and need it to cure them.”

The man chuckled. “Your cause is noble, at least. You picked the right box, by the way. Or at least it would be, if I didn’t find it first.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of glowing blue liquid.
“Is that…”
“You bet your ass it is, kid.” the ninja said with a grin.
“I don’t suppose I can have it?” Benjamin asked, shrugging.
“Hey, this is valuable stuff, kid. I can’t just give it away.”
“Please don’t call me kid. I’m twenty.” Benjamin interrupted.
“That makes me seventeen years your senior, KID. As I was saying, this is pricey stuff. But I’m a fair man. I’ll sell it to you for, say…nine thousand gil?”
“NINE THOUSAND?!” Benjamin exclaimed, his eyes widening.
“I told you this stuff was pricey…” the ninja responded, rolling his eyes.
“I NEED this stuff. Can’t we work something out?”

The older man took a moment to think about this.

“Alright…I like you, kid. You came here to get this stuff, and for that, I commend you. So I’ll make you a deal. A bit further north is a huge temple known as the Bone Dungeon. Inside the bone dungeon supposedly sleeps some fantastic treasures. You help me find the treasures, and the elixir is yours. No charge.”
Benjamin didn’t hesitate. “Deal.”
“Fantastic!” The man put away his knives. “Now, introductions: The name’s Tristam, treasure hunter extraordinaire and purveyor of all that is shiny. You?”
“Benjamin. Unlikely hero out for adventure.”
Tristam laughed. “I like you, kid. I think you and me are gonna get along juuust fine.”
“You know my name now. Do you have to keep calling me ‘kid’?”
“Why, yes. Yes I do.”




“Tristam?”
“Yeah, kid?”
Benjamin sighed at hearing his new nickname again. “How much further is this Bone Dungeon?”
“Not much farther. You’ll know it when you see it.”

Sure enough, Benjamin saw it. A huge skull – it looked like that of a dragon – was in the middle of the dune. It’s mouth was wide open, and inside it was the entrance to a cavern. Benjamin’s jaw hit the ground.

“Impressive sight, isn’t it?” said Tristam.
“That wasn’t the word I had in mind, but it’ll do...” responded Benjamin, who was suddenly reconsidering this whole “hero” deal.

“So tell me,” Benjamin said, unable to take his eyes off the skull, “why does a skilled guy like you need the help of a novice adventurer like me?”
“Honestly? Two reasons; One, I’ve was crawling through dungeons like this and combing the world for treasure while you were still breastfeeding. More so than anything else, I have experience. And one thing that said experience has taught me was that  it’s ALWAYS a good idea to have someone watching your back.”
“And the other reason?”
Tristam smiled that smug smile of his that Benjamin was getting used to seeing.
“I can sense potential in you, kid. One way or another, you’re destined to do great things.”
“So I’ve heard...” 
Scratching his head, Benjamin looked to Tristam and asked, “So what’s the big deal with this dungeon?”
“The Bone Dungeon,” Tristam began, “is an ancient cavern well-known for being full of fossils. Supposedly, wonderful treasures can be found within, but few dare enter, for it is guarded by the living undead.”
“Living...undead?”
“You know, zombies and the like.”
Benjamin gulped.
“Well, let me know how it turns out...” he said, turning around.
Tristam grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back.
“I don’t think so, kid. We had a deal.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know...”

Without further ado,  the two ventured into the Dungeon. 

On the inside, it seemed to be less like a cave and more like an encased desert. The ground was made up was sand and very rocky, and bones of varying sizes litter the ground. Benjamin gulped again.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Tristam?”
“Not in the least bit, kid. If I was sure of anything, this wouldn’t be much fun, now would it?”
“I feel I must question your logic in this…”
“Question later. Get out that sword!”
Benjamin turned and looked to his front to see a large, hissing purple lizard advances on them. Benjamin drew his sword and prepared to stab it, when suddenly it fell to the ground with a shuriken in it’s head. He turned back to Tristam, who still had a few of the throwing stars in his hand.

“You’re quite good with those.”
“Thanks. I’ll take out the monsters before they get too close. You worry about the ones that DO get too close.”

The two traveled deeper into the dungeon. Benjamin became distracted by the patterns of bones embedded in the walls all around him…no way it could have been by chance, he thought. Someone had crafted this place the way they wanted it…

His thoughts were interrupted as several animate skeletons shambled toward him.

He saw one of Tristam’s darts fly forward, only to harmlessly bounce off the skeleton’s thick skull.
“Crap…so much for that approach.” He said, as he withdrew a long knife from a sheath on his hip.

Benjamin leapt forward and slashed at the nearest skeleton’s neck. It’s head fell cleanly off and as it did so, the body fell apart.
Now knowing how to kill them. Benjamin strode forth with boosted confidence. Soon, most of the skeletons were nothing more than heaps of scattered bones at his feet.

“Not bad, kid.” Tristam said, as he wiped his forehead. “Not bad at all.”

They continued onward through the Dungeon, encountering many more monsters and dispatching them with little trouble.

As they got deeper into the dungeon, Benjamin couldn’t help but notice the air getting musty. ‘No surprise there…this place probably never gets much fresh air.’

They eventually came to a dead end. Benjamin smacked his forehead.
“Don’t TELL me we’re going the wrong way.”
“Alright, I won’t tell you.” Tristam said. “And the reason for that is because I don’t think we are.”

He walked over to the wall and put his ear against it, then knocked on it a few times.

“Stand back.”

From one of his pockets (‘He seems to have a lot of them.’ Benjamin noted.) he withdrew a small, gray sphere about the size of a billiard ball with what looked like a wick protruding from it. Taking out a match, he struck it on the rock wall and lit the wick, then placed it next to the wall and jumped back. A few seconds later, a loud BANG shook the cavern and there was a large hole in the wall.

“Presto. Instant doorway.” Said Tristam, grinning.
“Are those…explosives?” Benjamin asked, awestruck.
“Damn right they are, kid. You want some? I have lots.”
He reached into another one of his myriad pockets and threw Benjamin a small, bulging bag. “There’s about ten in the sack. Use ‘em as you see fit.”
“Thanks.”

Beyond the hole the wall was a hallway that forked several feet down the path.
“Which way do you think we should go?” asked Benjamin.
“Don’t worry yourself, kid.” Tristam said. “We treasure hunters have a way of figuring these things out.”

He withdrew a coin from a pocket and proceeded to toss it into the air and catch it. He looked at it and said “We go left.”
Benjamin gave him a wide-eyed glance. “Did you just…”
“Yes I did. Got a better plan?”

Benjamin would have responded, but for some reason, he couldn’t argue with Tristam’s “logic”. So they took the left fork.

Awaiting them in the next chamber was a large minotaur, not unlike the one Benjamin had fought in the forest. But this one looked different…it looked rather sickly, and its skin was a dull shade of gray. It was undead.

Tristam threw several throwing stars at it. They embedded themselves in the beast’s rotting flesh, but it paid them no heed. Slowly, it stepped forward, clutching its rusted axe menacingly. Benjamin took out his sword and prepared to defend himself.

Tristam, on the other hand, assumed a more offensive stance. Taking out his knife, he jumped forward and grabbed onto one of the zombie minotaur’s arms, then quickly began sawing at the shoulder joint. Within a few moments, the beast’s arm fell to the ground, taking the axe with it.
“Now! Get ‘em, kid!”
Benjamin didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly raised his sword and decapitated the minotaur before it realized what was going on.

“Nice work, kid.” Tristam said, as he returned the knife to it’s sheath. “Now come on, it can’t be much further.”


Tristam didn’t know how wrong he was. The dungeon carried on for quite awhile, with many monsters guarding the path along the way.

Soon enough, they came to an ornate looking doorway.

“This is it! This HAS to be it!” Tristam exclaimed. “The treasures have got to be in here!”

Benjamin suddenly felt a chill down his spine. “I have a very bad feeling about this, Tristam...” he said, the nervousness in his voice apparent.
“Ah, don’t worry so much, kid.” he said. “Now let’s bag us some treasure.”

Tristam tried to open the door. When it didn’t open, he gave it a firm kick. That did it.

The chamber was strangely dark, yet there was a glow emanating from the center.

They stepped closer, looking to the source of the glow. They spotted an altar. On top of that altar was a large,  yellowish-brown crystal, and before that alter was a man in a robe, chanting in some unknown language. Balls of energy the same color as the crystal were flaring out of it and being absorbed into the man. Benjamin was utterly mesmerized by the crystal.

“Is...is that...” he stuttered. “Is...that one of the Four Crystals?!”

Tristam was equally dumbstruck. “It has to be...I didn’t know they even existed...”
“But what’s that guy doing?”
“I don’t know, but look at that crystal.”
The Four Crystals of legend. Said to be the force that holds the world together. The legends said that they glowed with a brilliant light, but this one looked quite dull.

Benjamin quickly realized what was happening. “That guy...he’s draining the power of the Crystal!”
Tristam took out a throwing knife. “If those things are important as the legends say, he ain’t gettin’ away with this.” With that, he hurled the knife at the robed man’s head.

Without even flinching, he turned, caught the incoming knife and tossed it aside. Benjamin could now get a good look at the man. He was fairly short and stout, with ragged black hair.

“Fools...” he said in a deep, raspy tone. “What are you doing here? Be gone, lest I destroy you!”

Benjamin didn’t say a word. He simply drew his sword, and that action spoke volumes.

The man laughed darkly. “Idiots. You know not who you deal with. I am Marus, faithful servant of the Dark King, and the power of the Crystal of Earth belongs to ME! And I will not let you or anyone else stop me!”

Tristam stood by Benjamin’s side. “Is this guy nuts?” he asked rhetorically.

Marus, as he called himself, withdrew from his robes a long shard of what looked like quartz. Holding it up high, he jammed it into his chest and let out a scream. There was a brilliant flash of dark energy...and when it subsided, neither Benjamin or Tristam could believe what stood before them.

Towering over their heads where Marus once stood – at least nine feet tall – was a huge dragon’s skeleton, standing upright. But unlike normal bones, this dragon’s bones were a bright fiery red in color.

“FOOLS!” it roared in a deafening tone. “YOU WILL PERISH!”

It raised its skeletal arms and several bones flew off it, then quickly regrew in place. When the bones landed, they exploded, causing Benjamin and Tristam to jump back.

“Tristam?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“What do you suppose we should do?
”Running away like scared little girls seems like a pretty decent plan at the moment, but I’m open to suggestion.”

Benjamin gazed into the eyes of the beast that was Marus. It launched several more bone-bombs at them, which they easily evaded.

Benjamin drew his sword. Tristam’s eyes instantly widened.

“Kid, are you NUTS?!”
“Yesterday I was a farmboy. Today, I’m hunting for treasure in a dungeon chock-full of the undead. If you ask me, ‘nuts’ just doesn’t seem sufficient.”
Tristam let out a single, loud bark of laughter. “I like your style, kid! Alright, how do you suppose we take this thing down?”

He looked the gigantic beast over as the two sidestepped another explosive barrage.

“Tough as it is, it’s still just a skeleton. Aim for joints.”
“Got it!”

Benjamin charged forward, sword in hand. The skeletal beast roared again and leaned in to bite him. Benjamin narrowly avoided getting snapped in half by the massive jaws. He saw Tristam chuck several shuriken at it from afar, aiming for joints and weak spots in the bones. He managed to knock a few pieces out, and unlike with the explosives, they didn’t regenerate. He wasn’t doing much damage, but that told the two that the thing COULD be hurt.

The beast ripped at Benjamin with its clawed hands. Benjamin wasn’t able to act as fast this time, and the claws raked across his chest, shredding his tunic and knocking him back. Seeing him go down, the thing turned it’s attention to Tristam, whose darts were picking away at it like insects. It growled and charged at him. Benjamin quickly righted himself and, seeing an opening, slashed at it’s midsection. Several bones came free and clattered to the ground. This time, the monstrosity expressed the pain it felt.

“We’re hurting it!” Benjamin shouted amidst the noise. “Keep at it!”
“Easy for you to say, kid!” Tristam shouted back. “I’m running out of ammo and my knife won’t do much good in this fight! We need to disassemble this thing fast!”

Hearing this, Benjamin got an idea. “Keep it distracted!” he yelled.

Tristam shrugged, and started jumping around, taunting the beast.

Benjamin took out the bag of explosives Tristam gave him. He reached around the bag and found a small box of matches. He made a mental note to question Tristam about the wisdom of keeping bombs and matches in the same bag.

He took out a bomb and a match, then quickly struck the match on a nearby stone, lit the bomb and stuffed it back in the bag.

Knowing he had very little time in which to act, he made a mad dash for the red-boned dragon. Leaping forward, he stuffed the bag into the thing’s ribcage and fell back.

“Get down!” he shouted to Tristam. He did. Benjamin fell to the ground and rolled away as fast as he could.

Marus tried to look at the object that was stuck in him, but his neck wasn’t flexible enough. A few seconds later, that was the least of his problems.

With a deafening sound that shook the whole dungeon, the beast shattered, red bones flying in every imaginable direction.

Benjamin mouthed the word “Whoa.”

With a resounding thud, the skull of the beast landed in the center of the room. Benjamin and Tristam ran up to investigate it. It’s eyes were still faintly glowing.

“No...” it said, in the raspy tone Marus spoke in when he was still human, “this...cannot...be...am I...dying? I...am sorry...master...I have failed you...”

The eyes faded out. As soon as they did so, a large amount of light bearing the yellow-brown color of the Earth crystal surged out of the skull and swiftly dissipated.

Slowly, light returned to the room. Benjamin turned to the Crystal. It was slowly starting to regain the shine that it was legendary for.

“The Earth Crystal...” Benjamin said to himself. “That man...Marus. He was...draining it. I’ll bet that’s why the forests are dying...”

“Forget that!” Tristam shouted. Benjamin turned and saw him rooting through a large chest off to the side of the room. “Check this out!”

He held up his hand to display a strange, clawed apparatus encasing it. He held it out and the claw shot out, a length a chain attached to it. The claw caught itself on a large stone. Tristam did something else, and suddenly he was flying forward, almost slamming into the rock.

“Holy crap...” he said, smiling wider than Benjamin had ever seen. “Do you know what this is, kid?!”
Benjamin shook his head. 
“They’re called Dragon Claws, and they’re EXTREMELY rare! They function both as extendable, retractable grappling hooks AND formidable weapons! I could retire with what I could make selling it...but no WAY I could part with this thing!”

Benjamin couldn’t help but smile. “So you found your treasure?”
“Why, yes. Yes I did.” said Tristam. The  huge smile still hadn’t left his face.
“And I haven’t forgotten my end of the bargain. You’ll get what you want as soon as we get out of here.”

The two started toward the exit, when Tristam stopped him. 
“Oh, yeah.” He said. “I found this. No clue what it is, but maybe you’d like to have it.” He handed Benjamin a large, yellow coin. Benjamin examined it. It had an emblem of a sword on it. Benjamin couldn’t help but wonder if it had some hidden magic within...

“Now c’mon, let’s get out of here, kid!”

It was evening by the time they made it out.
Benjamin soon realized that fresh air was one of those things that people never appreciated until they had to do without it, and after a long trek through a musty cave, he made sure to take a few moments to just enjoy breathing.

“I must say, kid,” Tristam began, “that was one hell of an adventure. Here…I must say, you have earned this.”

He passed Benjamin the bottle of Elixir. Benjamin carefully pocketed it.

“It’s really strong stuff, so you’ll never need more than a few drops. Guaranteed to cure what ails you. Don’t waste it. Oh, and you can have this too.”

He handed Benjamin another small sack of bombs.

“Whoa…” Benjamin said as he took the bag, “how many of these explosives do you have?”
“Enough. Let’s leave it at that.”

Tristam turned toward the setting sun.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye for now, kid.”
“It’s definitely been interesting, Tristam.”

The ninja turned back to Benjamin and shook the boy’s hand.
“I have a good feeling that we’ll meet again, kid. And I’m rarely wrong.”

“Farewell!”

And with that, he wandered off. Despite himself, Benjamin smiled. Inwardly, he hoped that Tristam was right.


The trip back to Foresta was fairly short, and the forest monsters seemed to be leaving Benjamin alone, plus he ran most of the way.

As soon as he got to the village, he made a beeline for Kaeli’s house.
He opened the door and saw her mother waiting for him. 
“Did Kaeli make it here?” he asked, exasperated.
“Barely...” the woman said. Benjamin could see the worry evident in her aged face. “She collapsed almost as soon as she stepped through the door. I had to carry her to bed, the poor thing.”

Not wanting to waste any more time, Benjamin took out the bottle of Elixir and handed it over.

“Give her a few drops of this. I don’t know how long it takes to work, so let her rest. This should also cure the sick villagers.”
“Thank you, Benjamin.”

In what seemed like no time at all, Kaeli’s mother had distributed the Elixir to all the sick villagers.

Back at Kaeli’s house, Benjamin was sitting by Kaeli’s bedside. Kaeli was awake and already starting to look better, though she was still quite weak. Benjamin was regaling her was the story of his trip down into the bone dungeon.

“…so then the guy – said his name was Marus – took out this crystal and rammed it into his chest. There was this weird flash, and he turned into a gigantic skeletal dragon! It was pretty scary.”

Kaeli giggled. “Sounds like you had quite an adventure there, Benjamin.”
Benjamin rolled his eyes in mock-sarcasm. “That’s one way of putting it, yes…”

“Benjamin?”
“Yes, Kaeli?”
“What brought you to Foresta?”
“It’s kind of a long story.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”

Benjamin chuckled. “Ah, okay. It all started on my twentieth birthday…”


“Wow. So, do you really believe it? That ‘Destined Hero’ story?”
“At the time, not really.” he said. “But after today...after I saw the Crystal...it seems a bit more possible. But why me?”
“Why not?”

Benjamin shot her a weird look. 

“Seriously!” she said. “You seem like you’d make a good hero to me.”
“Heh...thanks.”
“So the Crystals...they do exist?”
“If the Earth Crystal exists, it seems natural to assume the other three do.”
“And since the man is no longer sapping the Crystal’s power...”
“Yes, it’s likely that the forest will get better.”
“I hope so...” Kaeli said, obviously tired. Without missing a beat, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Kaeli’s mother had insisted that Benjamin stay for the night. However, he found he couldn’t sleep very well. He found himself outside, sitting on a nearby bench and looking up at the stars.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

Benjamin turned to the source of the voice. Sitting on the other end of the bench was Lucas.

Benjamin had a thousand questions for the mysterious old man. He decided to go with the obvious one first.

“What are you doing here?”
“Stargazing. Just like you.”

He turned his attention back up to the stars. Without looking back, he asked “This whole deal…it’s about the Crystals, isn’t it?”
“It is.” Lucas responded in a somber tone.
Benjamin was silent for a moment. Then he asked, “Who is the Dark King?”

Lucas sighed. “The Dark King was the greatest scourge this world had ever known. Over five thousand years ago, he declared war on the world, and he nearly won. Only by utilizing the power of the Crystals was humanity able to finally defeat him. Through the power of the Crystals, he was defeated, and through the power of the Crystals he may rise again.”

“…and…it’s up to me to stop him?”
Lucas sighed again. “It may be. Despite all appearances, I believe we have no destiny except what we make for ourselves. But you…you, Benjamin, have something that most people lack. Bravery, spirit…the qualities of a true hero. And I believe in you, Benjamin…I believe you can do great things if you only put your mind and your heart into it…”

It was Benjamin’s turn to sigh.

“I had always wanted adventure…but I never dreamed of anything like this…”

Lucas laughed quietly to himself. “The hero often carries a great burden, Benjamin. But you need not carry it alone. You will have help…which is one of the reason’s I have come to you tonight.”

“Your next destination is Aquaria, northeast of here. It is accessible through the Focus Tower easily enough. When you get there, look for Spencer. He will surely help you.”

Benjamin looked back at Lucas with a question on his lips, but by the time he had looked, the old man was gone, leaving Benjamin with his thoughts.

Glad to see an under-appreciated game getting a good fic, keep it up.

Awesome, the characters actually have character, unlike in the game. I’m really liking Tristam.

GG: Before you ask: No, I’m not yet done reading Ancient Wizardy. I’ve been awfully busy these past few days. But I WILL soon, and I’ll post my review on this board. Word. I’m just waiting to find the time to do a proper review.

As for this story: a novelization of an RPG is always a worthy task. I especially appreciate this one because I know almost nothing of FFMQ and I need to, for my own FF project (which is delayed, not cancelled, btw.) On the other hand, I can’t judge how well you’ve adapted this story precisely for that reason.

However, I CAN tell you’re doing a good job writing it. I like the characterizations, and if like they say, MQ was pretty staid, then you’re fleshing out the characters wonderfully. I especially liked the rapport between Benjamin and Tristam.

I didn’t want to mention the typos, but they’re just TOO annoying. Especially the ones that screw up the meaning of a paragraph. For example, when you said “Lumber is the main expert” I thought you were talking about some character, until I realized you meant “export”. Please fix them first chance you get.

I also like the way you’re taking the chance to question some of the game’s logic, like how could there be a desert next to a forest. Yeah, RPGs can be pretty ilogical sometimes. Now don’t turn this into a farce, but otherwise keep it with the cracks, they’re funny. : )

Btw, one thing that’s challenging about novelising a game is precisely having to deal with its “game logic” vs “story logic”- in battle sequences, for example. Things like, “How can a zombie be killed by a sword?” One has to keep a balance between them. You’re doing well so far.

In short, you seem to be doing a great job, and I’m enjoying it so far. Keep it up.

(Looks at GG’s new Avatar) Oh, and find me a shrubbery. :hahaha;

First, cut me down a tree with a herring. Then we’ll talk. :hahaha;

Yeah, I’m prone to frequent typos. I type pretty fast, but I typo often. I always fun spellcheck, but spellcheck doesn’t catch typos that make other words. >.<
I’ll start sweeping mor ethoroughly. Thanks for catching that. That wasn’t my first
mistake like that, and it sure as hell ain’t gonne be the last.

I HAVE reworded and fixed the first two chapters a bit, but like I said, I can’t edit that post for some reason. I’ll have to tinker with stuff and see what I can do.

And just as a point of interest, in the majority of things I’ve read/seen, decapitation is a pretty surefire way to be rid of most undead. :slight_smile:

EDIT: Yup, just tested it…browser STILL crashes when I try to edit my first post.
Try reading it here. It should look much better. :wink:

http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1910566