I'm back. Now...HARRY POTTER! FIFTH BOOK! DISCUSS! *people who've read it ONLY!*

Ok, I’d like to start off this thread saying why I made yet an entirely new Potter thread.

One, to announce I’m back (cricket chirps)

Second, to say some stuff about the book.

Third, to explain the most important reason I made a new thread.

Which is that there will be no need for spoiler tags here. If you have finished the book or just don’t give a damn, go right ahead, but if you clicked this, be warned I will NOT hold back on spoilers.

So go back now if you want…

Gone yet?

Ok, lets begin.

Well, well, well. Dudley FINALLY hit Juvanille Delinquency. And the book starts off to a VERY minor key. Not as minor as last book when someone snuffed it the very first chapter, but minor as in the twisted complex agonizing torment of the growing teenage mind, which I feel JK did a REALLY good job focusing on this. appaludes And I TOLE you Figg was a witch! (sorta). But I lost on the Dark Arts teacher deal though…

“The Advance Guard”. BITCHIN’ name for a chapter in any book! When I read this, I was like w00t!!!

Then there’s that part when Hermione and Harry met again.

Harry: thinking Let’s see…floor…bed…ceiling…brown bush…g-BROWN BUSH?? gets nailed by Hermione (Hilarious :D)

And THEN WHAT? He gets pissed off at his friends right when he meets them again. Once again, hoorj for J.K. for the teenage angst feeling.

I really expected Mundungus to be a traitor or was planning something funny when he asked if his goblet was silver. (Silver kills werewolfs, hint hint).

And I was a bit right about the new culture refrences when the Ministry of Magic chapter showed up. I can just picture the James Bond music playing…

And at the end of chapter nine (Woes), did ANYONE ELSE think it was a TAD bit suspicious when Ginny didn’t show up as an illusion of a dead corpse? Hrmm…

And the Luna Lovegood chapter was HILARIOUS! Then I had one of my funny thoughts, like those music ideas that popped up one day…

“Sirius Black - Singing Sensation!”

Harry or someone conjures up a hologram of a chibi-Sirus black with little cute dots for eyes, then he starts singing the “Peanutbutter Jelly song” doing the wierd jerky dance movements like it was made off of a bad flash animation. With Lupin on back-up vocals.

What EXACTLY was Luna doing with Pigwidgeon?.. -_-;;

Psh. You would THINK someone would take the hint or at least the general gist of the Sorting Hats new song…

And let me just say this…


And I tole you Ron was going to be on the quidditch team. >: D!!

“In the Hogs Head”. All those people who believed in Harry coming in the bar. I had to re-read that part with some epic music playing, it was so damn good. And at the last part of the chapter when they were talking about Cho, I just HAD to play “Can’t take my eyes off of you”. It fit the mood just perfectly, to me.

“Dumbledores Army” The first thing that came to mind aftewards was “Harry Potter Tactics”. FFT meets Fire Emblem. Think about it. Ooohhh yeahh!!!

“Eye of the Snake” Harry FINALLY gets some! And all he wanted was a “Merry Christmas”. DAMN, He and Cho should’ve been hittin’ dat in the love pad, yo!

I really started to fell sorry for Neville in “Christmas on the Closed Ward”.

“The Beetle at Bay”. So we FINALLY see a picture of what Cho looks like. 'bout damb time. Then what? He screws up. He should’ve went balls out, reached over, and start twer-…ah fug it… But when Rita Skeeter made a Cameo in this book, I started to wonder if J.K was running out of ideas… Don’t get me wrong, but she could’ve just left Lockheart out completely. Only good for comic relief, really.

I really thought Trelawney was going to commit suicide with her own wand. J.K should’ve done this IMO, to make the book darker. And I would comment on the Centaurs coming back being a result of running out of ideas, but it’s about time they made another cameo.

“Snape’s Worst Memory” frankly scared the shit out of me during the last parts of the flashback. I half expected Harry to say to Snape “You know what? You’re right. Bugger James.” But then we find out only SLIGHTLY more about Lily. …which is her relation to James and her last names is Evans. Say what you will, but I still think there’s a lot more to Lily.

Fred and Georges last stand. F**kin A!!!

Ron’s the reason why they won the Quidditch Cup! TRIPP3L F**KIN A!!! *wants to compose the song “Weasley is our King”

The part in “OWLS” where Hagrid gets attacked was really sudden. It should’ve been written a bit better…

The whole Ministry of Magic raid…was fucking cool to say the least. To say the most I would put in so many caps and colors and sound effects into a mIRC chat room I would be banned for months. So I won’t bother :smiley: Using my technique of covering up the page I’m not reading with one hand and using the other to only read each line one by one, I creamed my jeans the whole way through…

…and pissed myself when Sirius died. I mean, WTF? Shades of Cowboy Bebop! He just died -bam- just like that and had the slow motion falling thing, then he fell through the dark veil (I started thinking about the scene in CB where Spike crashed through the Cathedral Windows at this time, minus the church song in the back). I really think it was the Veil that killed him rather than the spell…but STILL! I was thinking it’d be one of the six students in the Ministry that would die, but when the Order came in I was like "Ohhhhh shit, it’s gotta be Sirius or Mad Eye (cause I really believe Petigrew will kill off Lupin) But Sirius died too quickly IMO. The aftershocked dragged on forever (appaludes yet again for teenage angst feeling) But still…

And then Dumbledore shows up to KICK some CANDY ASS!!! I was like “YES! LAYING THE SMACK DOWN ON HIS BITCH FINALLY!”. And I had to play “Master of Puppets - Metallica S&M” for that whole scene. Fuckin’ fantastic!

And then everything I wanted to know was answered in the LAST TWO DAMN CHAPTERS! I was pissed because that was one of THE biggest things I was looking foward too. And when I found out all I needed, scene, scene The End. The End? THE END? WHAT THE FUCK?

I thought the crying Dumbledore part was the second saddest scene in the book. If it was Hermione or Ron who died, it would’ve been my first. I almost broke down when she almost died. Then I started thinking about how Ron’s funeral would go.

And all the characters left too suddenly (again IMO). Hagrid, Dumbledore, the teachers, students, etc. And the book ended rather abruptly. But now I can’t wait until Luna Lovegood shows up again in Book 6. Her and Harry’s gonna have something going on, COUNT ON IT!!!

And now just an overall look back at the book.

Three words: Neville F**kin’ Longbottom! Don’t say it ain’t so! The “pot head” in my prediction turned about to be one of the most ass-kicking students yet!! AND he made Draco shit himself in the dungeons! Go Neville! Go Neville! Whoooooo! Go Neville!

It looks like Cho is done with Harry. If Cho had died in the book, it would’ve been a helluva scene, seeing Cedrics ghost to take her away to the afterlife or whatever… Then there’s the whole ghost explanation which countered this (buggerit…)

I wasn’t really surprized by the books summary. The summary? What summary??? Exactly. Looking back, I can not find another way to summarize this book rather than “This is what happens in Harry’s Fifth Year at Hogwarts”. The whole book is not about the Order. The whole book is not about the Dream. The whole book is not about the D.A. The whole book is not about Hermione (damnit…). It is just “what happens in year five”. Brilliant.

Harry used an Unforgivable Curse. And Bellatrix TOLD him how to use it properly! When Harry finds Voldemort, the dark lord is SO fucked. And I started wishing that Neville was the chosen one all along at the second to last chapter. This might explain his increase in abilitys this book.

STILL no mention much in Astronomy as there should have been. Professor Sinistra has YET to make ONE SINGLE LINE of Dialogue! Same with Professor Vector, but he’s not mentioned that often either…but still…

I think that does it for comments…

And now I need to go whet my appitite with Hermione “slash” (non-Draco) fan fictions.

I heard Harry does some chick in this book. Is that true?


Uh, he said Sinistra, not Sinistar. But yeah, it was a really cool book.

Hmm … Who would win? Sinistar or Voldemort?

<b>Harry:</b> Okay, you’ve gotten the basics down … Now let’s try more advanced stuff, such as saying and hearing the name “Voldemort” without having a heart attack.
<b>Kids:</b> Gasp!

I greatly dislike Harry and James.

I’m sorry- but his dad was a cock, and in this book he isn’t acting any better. Sure there is that whole “teenage angst” thing, but if Harry didn’t notice, nobody else besides possibly Malfoy was acting like such a jerkoff.

I always knew that there was more to Snape, and I cannot blame him for his reactions, although carrying it on to the next generation is a bit harsh and irrational.

Rowling needs to talk more about Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Oh, come on- I’m sure not EVERY member of Slytherin is an evil jerk- or else they would not have that house around. Thats just silly. I hope that Rowling shows a Slytherin that isn’t a horrible monster (and Snape doesn’t count- because he WAS a Death Eater).

Luna Lovegood is probably one of my favorite characters in the book- and I think that she is actually correct about most of the things she says. Yeah- you heard me. The only thing I know for a FACT isn’t true is that whole thing about Sirius actually being a rock star. I also think that when I was fifteen, I would be stupid and fall head over heels for her. :stuck_out_tongue: You know what? I think it would be great if Luna and Harry got together. 8D

Umbrige- fucked up. More contemptable than anyone in the book, I think. Even Voldemort. Thats about it.

I like to think of myself as somewhere between “moderate fan” and “rabid fan”.
I don’t have a lot to say.
I’ve always had a gut feeling that there was some sort of “prophecy” involved. :slight_smile:
I laughed long and hard when that bitch Umbridge finnaly got hers. :o
And call me completely insane, but I don’t think Sirius is dead. I think he may be trapped in some sort of limbo pocket-dimention…it’s just one wild theory, though, feel free to shoot it down and beat me to death with sticks.

Yes, I’m having thoughts that the Veil will play a big time part in the next book.

The other two houses DO need more attention. Like having Harry “spy” on a traitor in the school by sneaking into their common room or something.

And on the topic in Merls thread about the “ejaculating loudly” part, I really think J.K. is trying to send sublineal messages to our head about perversion n’shit.

“He did things with a wand I’ve never seen before…”

And other fun children stories… :smiley:

Kagato, Harry did spy on Malfoy in his common room. Read the second book. You know the whole polyjuice potion thingy.

Umbridge = Jim Shaheen’s mom

And with that, I enjoy the book greatly. :smiley:

No spoilers for me…

Anyway, it’s about damned time Dudley became a deliquent. He’s always been an ass. And smoking is just… I dunno.

Bah. I thought there was too much angst in this book. He always kept worrying over shit.

I didn’t think Mundungus would be the traitor; I would’ve figured Stogie (or whatever his name is (he had the cloak last)).

And as far as Cho goes, you KNOW they’ll hook up again. I mean, this is gonna have a happy ending and you know it.

So, who wants tea?

It wasn’t Stogie, it was Sturgis Podmoore and the only reason he tried to get past the door was because Lucius Malfoy had him under the Imperius Curse

I knew it had a S, T, and G in it. Shush. But until we knew about the Imperius Curse, I would’ve thought he was the traitor 'cause I figured it would be kinda hard to hex a person you don’t know it’s there.





so here i am

yes i aggree
sirus will return
luna will play a big part soon

Did harry and the twins… hold it they got droped from school… harry get back on the Quidditch team?

the twins swamp was cool
and that flitwick left part of it as a memorial

i bet that harry and nevile join to beat voldemort

cant wait till Dudly gets put in jail


he scared the pants off of the dursleys

and the whole order did really
but he was the best

i have to go but ill put more on later

No no no. Harry and the Weasley twins were only banned as long as Umbridge was there. Ginny said so, remember?

I already knew about the Polyjuice potion. I was talking about the other common Rooms. How’s this for a twist? A change in houses???

Moody looked FUCKING bad-assed in his picture in the last chapter. All he needs is a tommy-gun…

With Cho crying all the damn time, I doubt Harry and Cho will hook up. They don’t have that much in common compared to the other people as candidates, like Luna and/or Hermione. Yep, I think it’s over.

btw, I reinstate my idea about Cho being the phycho bitch and having to die and place it on Luna. She will have to die one way or another next book. crosses arms

I want to see Vernon shoot down a Death Eater, before hand the wizard going “WTF?” BOOM! “OMG, I R DED!”

Originally posted by Kagato Toujou
I want to see Vernon shoot down a Death Eater, before hand the wizard going “WTF?” BOOM! “OMG, I R DED!”

Leave that to me. Just gimme an Uncle Vernon sprite and a Death Eater sprite.

No. Hermione is obviously going for Ron- look at how they fight all the time. People keep looking waaaaaaay too deep into the Harry Potter books. One thing about Rowling is she slams you with what she wants you to think like a sledge. :stuck_out_tongue:

She’s slamming us with ejaculation? :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway, yeah, I agree. Ron and Hermione are probably gonna hook up. And I think Luna’s too late in the series to play a huge part as far as a relationship goes. I’m still going with Harry and Cho hooking up. She’ll get over that manwhore Cedric.

Uh- no. She is going with some OTHER guy, now. She has gotten over Cedric (essentially).

And I don’t believe that Luna is too late. Thats who I think will actually end up with Harry. Also, I would have liked her when I was his age (and I would like someone like her my age, actually- only a tad less gullable)- so I’m rooting for her. :stuck_out_tongue:

Bah. Either way, you KNOW Harry’s gonna get a girl… But I still don’t think it’ll be Luna. IIRC, he didn’t really show any real attraction to her. I’m still going for Cho.

Originally posted by Cala
he didn’t really show any real attraction to her.

Exactly the reason I think that he will go for her when he gets older and is less of an asshole.