I’m leaving...

Probably not forever but I’m going to be missing for a while.

My father, 47 years old just died two days ago due to a heart attack. According to the people who saw him on the street, his car broke down in the middle of the street, he tried to push it but he made too much effort and his partially sick heart gave up. He always troubled himself a lot about minor things and along with some of his health problems and the excessive effort (He rarely ever asked for help with anything), he couldn’t handle it. We all feel like hell since I saw him that same morning when he drove me to school. I got the notice when I came back 5 hours later.

I’m okay, as okay as I can be at least. He was alive long enough to teach me everything important about life and he did a good job as a father, husband and son. My mother is in a horrible state of course and I’ll be taking care of her for the next months (A real blast for her since in 17/7/02, her own father died from a heart attack too). The third person to worry about is my grandmother who is already 89 and I really don’t need to explain what an emotional pain like this can cause to someone so old.

I really feel better than I thought I would, probably It hasn’t still dawned one me that he isn’t coming back but I’ll have to be strong for the sake of my family. I’ve always been a quite practical and objective person and for some reason, no matter how sad I feel I can’t cry (No, I don’t hold it, the tears just don’t come out). Thankfully I have several friends and all the family (Even those who live hundreds of miles away) came to lend a hand.

Thinking objectively, my schedule doesn’t really need to change a lot especially since I was pretty independent already. We’ll just have to tighten our belts a little (AKA: I’m going to have to cut some unnecessary expenses like cable TV and Internet). My father wasn’t doing much work anyway so the income isn’t going to change (He was an architect so his job depended on people having money to do stuff. My country is broke, people don’t have money = He didn’t have too much work). I’ll just have to learn how to fix some of the electrical stuff in the house and do a little more cleaning and cooking.

From the emotional point of view I’ll be okay, It’s going to be hell but I’ll be okay. My mother is, thanks to whatever deity you believe in, a very strong woman and even though she feels horrible right now I know that she can get over it with my help. My grandmother is going to be a problem since she is really old but we’ll keep an eye on her.

The thing that scared the most was seeing my grandfather cry. He is one of the most cheerful and positive thinking people I know (They stole his car and he was just said “Oh well. Things will get better”) but in the end I see we’re all humans.

Now I just need to help carry my father’s pigeons and various birds to one of his friends that said would take care of them (My father was nicknamed “Birdman” for how much he loved those birds) and then I’ll just see what life has in store.

Of course I’m not going to isolate myself from anyone, I’m going to stay in school and with my friends, now more than ever, and really I’m leaving just for the money and I’ll get my hands in 2 bucks to go to a cyber café from time to time.

For those why wonder “Who the hell are you?” and “Why should I care?” I have two simple answers: Doesn’t really matter and you shouldn’t since I’m not a staffer, maintainer or anything.

This is Franco Agustino Caruso / Seraphim Ephyon signing off and to finish with a really lame Terminator quote: “I’ll be back”.

My sympathies to you and your family, SE. You sound like a strong person, so hopefully you’ll get through this all right. I don’t know you much, but I’m close to my family so I appreciate how much of an awful blow this would be. Good luck with coping and getting your family through this.

You have my sympathy as well. I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now, but good luck in overcoming the pain of loss.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family, and good luck.

My prayers and sympathies are with you and your family. I know how hard it is to lose someone close to the family like that. I know you’re gonna be away, but I’m here if you need to talk or anything.

Good luck with everything.

I’m very sorry to hear that , see you around though :too bad:

Sorry SE. That sucks.

Sorry to hear that Seraphim… you and your family will be in my prayers.

Sorry, man… That has to be horrible…

Seeya man.

My condolences, Seraphim. Take care of yourself, and I hope that you will be able to console both yourself and your family.

My sympathies as well. Take care…

You have my sympathies as well. I worry about my mom, since her heart’s so screwed.

But he sounds like a good man, and it seems like he has done well in his life. Perhaps the best thing you could do is remember how he was when he was alive…

Take care, SE… do what you have to do…

Wow I can’t imagine someone so collected after such a loss to come here and explain himself. All the best to you and your family.

I’m sorry to hear Sera and good luck to you over these next few months.

Sorry to hear about your loss, my condolences to you and your family. I’ve had some of my close family pass away too, so I know how it feels. The greiving does pass after a while, I just hope it passes quickly for all of you.

oh man that sucks. I actually feel for you on this (I usually don’t care about these things) because I had a friend who lost his dad at about your age a few years ago. It was pretty shocking, his dad was a retired police officer, but was pretty young. Its rough. Hang in there.

Good luck, SE, and May God smile down upon you.

Good luck dude. Stay strong. And come back.