I love this more

This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zante
USA, to his boss.
His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Have fun.

Dear Mr Baker:

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have
an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during
the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of
the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not
only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
vainly attempt to understand the concept of “cut and paste” for the
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
binary still gives you too many options.

You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to
try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as
effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more
personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day,
shiftlessly looking
fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that
may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their
talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that
everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of
the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change
without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to
tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.

  1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to
    give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is “I
    prefer not
    comment.” I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of
    years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it
    on your own.

  2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
    password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get
    am going to publish your “favourites list”, which I conveniently saved
    when you made me “back up” your useless files. I do believe that terms
    like “Lolita” are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

  3. When you borrowed the digital camera to “take pictures of your
    mothers b-day”, you neglected to mention that you were going to take
    pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
    like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never
    seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those
    have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a
    glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I
    hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on
my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of
your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
Never mess with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what
you do with
that free time!


Darryl Brewer

Woah, just…woah.

Holy fuck that is great. Stupid blackmail.

That’s why I’m soo good in computers. It’s so easy to blackmail what people think is a ‘secure’ system.

This guy’s my hero!

BOOYA, MOFO! :slight_smile:

Darryl Brewer is awesome.

Too bad it’s blackmail and as soon as the guy tries to humiliate his ex-boss, he can get busted on a much larger scale than his boss could.

Really, CAN you do that with a ketchup bottle?

It depends on the shape and size of said ketchup bottle.

That’s disturbing.

Originally posted by Phoenix Valkyrie
Really, CAN you do that with a ketchup bottle?

Actually, it’s quite sinmple. But it takes some fiddling with the cap.

Go darryl!!

Is the boss a woman? Because then i could see how the ketchup bottle would work…otherwise, i don’t think it could be used like that…unless he was using his dick as a tray to hold a hamburger that needed ketchup.

Yes, the Dilbert principle rules us all. We need more idiot-level jobs, such as fast food service and self-service gas stations, to get rid of the useless layer of business beurocracy called “management.”

It’s not the Dilbert Principle because Scott Adams didn’t create it. It’s called the Peter Principle - the more incompetent you are, the more likely you are to succeed :stuck_out_tongue:

Originally posted by Dai ryuujin
It’s not the Dilbert Principle because Scott Adams didn’t create it. It’s called the Peter Principle - the more incompetent you are, the more likely you are to succeed :stuck_out_tongue:

The Dilbert Principle states that the sole reason idiots become managers is because it’s the safest place to put them. It takes skill to perform surgery and work on the world of tommorrow. It takes less skill to demand that the surgeon explain his deep desire not to accidently kill people and how the worker can make the world of tommorrow with only half the budget. The big thing is, so many idiots are in management and above that the entire business world is about to collapse on itself.

Then again, you wouldn’t want an idiot performing open-heart surgery on you, would you?

That was funny.

A ketcup bottle?..

Sick Freaks…

I mean, mustard, sure, what red blooded American wouldn’t… but ketchup?


What kind of mind imagines this shit?

This guy rules. I want him as a system admin where I work.

Much cool. Much cool