There are many little things in our day-to-day routine that are so commonplace we might go through our entire lives without ever realized that we do certain things a certain way. Today was one of the days where I just happened to notice something strange. I was enjoying a minute away from work hovering over the urinal, thinking of random things like fucking the Olsen twins or cherry (mm mm mmmmm sure is some good cherry pie here in Twin Peaks), when I noticed something simultaneously bizarre yet natural. I was pissing to the left. About 15 or 20 degrees to the left actually. That little yellow stream did not come out perfectly straight, but it was actually careening for the left side of the bowl as if there was some sort of piss-hating gypsy at the center ready to steal its little protein-filled ureac children. This shocked me at first, but then the realization slowly settled in that I always pissed like this, but I had never consciously realized that fact. Huh. With what little drops left of urine I had in my bladder, I amused myself by trying to straighten the flow. I wondered, is it normal to pee from one side or the other? I figured it probably had something to do with the fact that my right testicle was larger than the left one, and they are both abnormally large (not bragging, they’re actually very annoying and cause all sorts of nuisances and they are the bane of my existence except for that awesome fwap fwap sound they make during doggy) therefore causing my limp member to generally hang outward and a bit to the left. But then I figured it can’t really be this, because when I am pissing, I have to remove him from the safety of my boxers and protrude him out through my fly, which means it should straighten out any problems. More research will be done.
So I ask of you, today, loyal denizens of RPGC: when you piss at the urinal today, make a mental note of where your piss goes, and report back pronto. For the ladies, I suggest going into the bushes behind my apartment, squatting down with a mirror, and taking photographic evidence while doing your business. Please leave said evidence underneath my door. Remember: it’s for science!
If your right testy is bigger, it produces a bit more. Then more gets clogged on the right side of the hole. Like when you put your finger over half a hose. <!-- yes, I know this makes no sense -->
I actually piss extremely fast. It’s at the point now where I have to sit on toilets where the water is higher because it splashes a LOT. Annoying. I guess maybe it’s cause my hole is a little small (Especially in comparison to the rest, y’know), so it’s under more pressure coming out.
Hahahaaaaaa, this is so true. When using toilets of the squatter type, I could never manage to NOT piss on my pants and shoes simultaneously. I really did try all the possible positions to avoid that, but none ever worked.