There was a single entry for .NET. I modified it and added the most important .NET languages. The rest is just as I received them in a email.
Java - Arrives, finds the dragon, develops a n-tier framework for dragon slaying, writes many articles about the framework but never slays the dragon.
.NET (saying this is very hard to me) - They all try to copy the idea of the javanese, but when trying to implement it, they fail and sometimes are devoured by the beast. See more in their specific entries.
J# - makes a functionals sword, but when he tries to run it in Java’s virtual machine, he finds out it’s running on the wrong framework. The sword program is never opened. In despair, his eyes meet the dragon’s eyes and he’s devoured by the beast.
C - arrives, stares at the dragon with an air of superiority, pulls a pocket knife, beheads the dragon, finds the princess, but ignores her and goes checking the the last checkins in the CVS of Linux’s kernel.
C++ - creates a base pocket knife and gathers functionalities untill he has a sword so complex that only he can understand… Slays the dragon but crashes on the middle of the bridge due to memory leaks.
C++ in .NET - The programmer installs the .NET framework, but never does anything else important. He copies his code from Bloodshed Dev C++ 5.0 and pastes it into Visual Studio 2005 without a single modification. Now, instead of getting memory leaks, he can’t even compile his code, so he just stays at home, watching all the other programmers making the way to the dragon, with a degree of envy in his gaze.
C# (that’s me) - creats a super-hyper-mega-ultra weapon of mass dragon slaying with only 10 lines of code, but doesn’t have the slightest idea of how the weapon works and misfires during the first test, killing himself.
COBOL (before .NET)- arrives. Looks at the dragon thinking he’s so old he can’t beat a creature that big and just gets the princess out of the castle and goes away with her.
COBOL.NET - thinks he’s fresh and young and strong after drinking some water from the fountain of youth, but fails to adapt to OO concepts. In his confusion, he’s devoured by the beast.
Pascal - takes 10 years preparing for the creation of a dragon annihilation system… When he arrives there he finds out that his program only accepts monitor lizards as inputs.
VB (before .NET) - builds a dragon slaying weapon out of many components, takes on the dragon in a fight but, after making his first move, finds out that his sword only works during rainy nights.
VB.NET or VB 2005 - Runs a code updating wizard on the above programmer’s code. Corrects all the errors. Makes a superb weapon that works independent of the weather or hour. Gathers the components from the C# programmer and makes the ultimate weapon. And then he discovers that his weapon only works in his territory and he can’t port it to the castle where the dragon and the princess are.
PL/SQL - collects data from other dragon slayers, creates tables with N relationships of ternary complexity, data in three dimensions, OLAP, takes 15 years to process all the information. Meanwhile the princess has become a lesbian.
Ruby - arrives with a god damm good fame, saying that he is the best all round. When he meets the dragon, displays a video showing himself slaying a dragon. The dragon feels tedious and eats the programmer.
Smalltalk - arrives, analyses the dragon and the princess, then turns his back to them and walks away, for they are too inferior to him.
Shell - creates a verty powerful dragon slaying weapon, but in the most important hour of the fight, he can’t remember how to use it.
shell(2) - he arrives with a 2 lines script that kills, slashes, disembowels, chops and impales dragons. But when he runs it, the script actually enlarges and enrages the dragon, besides adding alcohol to its flames.
ASSEMBLY - this alien/demon/sith thinks he’s doing the most correct, clean thing, but mistakes A’s for D’s and vice-versa. Ends up slaying the princess and fornicating with the dragon.
Fortran - develops a solution with 45000 lines of code, slays the dragon and marches towards the princess… But she calls him “old geezer” and runs, seeking the Java guy, who was charming and rich.
FOX PRO - develops a dragon slaying system that is shiny and beautiful on the outside, but a patchworld in the inside. When he executes it he notices how he forgot to index the DBF and is devoured by the dragon.
PROCESS ANALYST - arrives with two metric tons of documentation on how to kill a generic dragon, develops a super complex flowchart to liberate the princess and marry her, convinces the dragon that all this is going to be good for it and painless. When executing the process he ponders the effort and amount of damage, the signatures of George W. Bush, the pope and the EU president for the plan, then buys two nuclear bombs, forty-five cannons, an aircraft carrier ship, hires three hundred men who are armed to their teeth, when he actually only needed the sword that was on his hand all the time.
CLIPPER - makes a routine that loads an array of codeblocks to insult the dragon, put the moves on the princess, load the sword to the memory, slay the dragon, spill condensate milk with strawberries on the naked body of the princess, having sex with the princess, taking a shower, turning on the car, filling the tank and going home. When he runs it, gets a message saying “Bound Error: Array Access”, and is devoured by the dragon.
