Hello, and Merry Christmas to you all!
Let me say that I have not forgotten you, despite the void in my mailbox (and inbox too, you could have sent me emails!). So, in this morning of December 25, let me open my bag and give you your gifts.
Now, where is my list and reading glasses?
Let’s start with 984, because I’m doing it alphabetically and numbers come first.
You work with security. Hm. So this is for your protection… there. You know, we always look at the main thing as a whole, and forget the tiny little details like protecting these parts. With these you won’t have to worry.
BahamutXero: this is a special Christmas wizard staff. It looks like a sweet white-and-red striped cane, but point it at someone and say the magic word for a lot of barbecue bonus.
Cala: the first CD of Disturbed. If you already have it, you can change it for some other disc.
Cidolfas: FF addict? You get a year free of that FF MMORPG. Are there elven Santa helpers in it?
Charlemagne: you! You! You are special! You will be flying with me as soon as I’m done giving everybody else a gift! Ho-ho-ho!
Cless Alvein: I heard you are a mighty programmer. Well, here in this box you have VS.NET and a license key. You pick the languages when you install it.
Cloth Hat: here you go, a one-year-supply of Bleach WhiteTM. It should be for you what regular soap is for us, right?
Demigod: you are pretty cute with those leather clothes on, but to complete the set you need this whip. Use it carefully.
Devillion: this is a Power Ranger costume for you. Now you can look like your idol even more!
D Galloway: Hm… I checked, and I don’t understand why, but here is a pair of scissors and a surgeon for you.
Dragon Tear: dragons like gold better than everything else, or so I’ve learned. So here are a dozen pounds of gold, in bars.
Epico Gameu: Beware with this orb. It’s a Fire4 spell. Use it wisely.
Evangelion: There is a lot of things I could give you, but I am so far undecided as to which. So here is a one-thousand dollars (canadian) check for you to spend with whatever you like.
GG Crono: I will introduce you to Terry Pratchett. Say hello to him, Dr. Pratchett!
Terry Pratchett Why, hello, Mr. GG!
GunsmokemisT: here’s a Nokia phone for you, it works with the GSM dualband system.
Hades Shinigami: you have been a very bad kid, so you get nothing but my middle finger this year. Now scram!
Infonick: Go get’em with this!
Izlude1984: your’s about the easiest one, here’s a new yellow scarf for your collection.
Jing: this is a pair of red dancing shoes made in switzerland. Well, actually, it’s a shoe-shaped swiss handknife, so beware not to accidentally trigger the built-in coils, skates, grappling hooks, blades and target lockers.
Kagon: …
…
Here is a razor for you to shave, huh, that above your eyes.
KaiserVonAlmasy: this is a construction kit for a really big pool. Well, I think no playboy can do without a huge.
Mabatsekker: for you I got catgirl action figures. Aren’t they cute?
Manus Dei: I think you’ll like this book, it’s about a knight called Don Quixote.
Merlin: remember the last time we’ve met? Back then, when young Arthur had just took the sword out of the stone. Well, the boy is gone, and that’s sad. But here’s Excalibur 2.0, made from a few remains of the original one, for you. It should make you (more) immortal.
Nebagram: takes a giant cake from the red bag
You are not alone anymore.
Eden99 appears strip-party like from inside the cake
Nulani: you seem like one who dewlls in the dark, so I give you this black heart. It is a perfume vial made by Lewis Olson.
Ren: there’s a telescope for you in my bag. Up to 800x magnifying capacity. Don’t use it to peek at gorgeous girls from nearby buildings.
Seraphim Ephyon: if you liked Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, then you’ll probably like this Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi. Here you go.
Sinistral: for you, I brought this book Nature Via Nurture : Genes, Experience, and What Makes Us Human, by Matt Ridley.
Skankin’ Garbage: seeing your title, I decided to give you a pair of fake breasts. It’s also forever great.
Sir Percival: I have got for you Orlando Furioso. It’s a medieval story about chivalry. I think (correct me if I’m wrong) it’s an alternative to the mainstream knight stories.
Sorcerer: I hope you have an old LP player at home, because I have brought you the original vynil discs for every major rock band from the 70’s and 80’s.
StarStorm: this is a small 3 ft. tall tower which you can scratch to keep your nails sharp. Every cat has one these days.
Tenchimaru Draconis: you are not 21-years-old yet, so you won’t be able to enjoy this legally now. But when you become an adult, you’ll have one year worthy of free, full access to [censored porn site name].
Trillian: here’s a cage with two white rodents in it. Be watchful - they are way more intelligent than they look.
Valkyrie Esker: you get the same as Tenchimaru, but you have access to bi sites as well.
Weilla: Inside this box, you’ll find a Waterman 12 pen. I want to see your handwritting with its ink next year in my mailbox.
Wertigon: beware with this egg. Cherish it, take care of it, and soon a baby penguin will come out of it.
Wilfredo Martinez: this was about the hardest one. JLA, Superman, Flash, Green Lantern (pretty much everything DC, you name it), from the 60’s to today. About a ton in magazines. Good luck carrying them home.
Xelopheris: for you, I have this set of DVD’s. It’s the full Star Trek series plus the movies.
Yar Kramer: there’s lots of anime DVD’s here with your name in them. Most of them are subtitled, some have been dubbed as well.
And finally, Zero: I figured a bot pet would be nice, but since Rush’s already been taken, a couple of aibo’s will have to do.
For everyone else, I have brought random videogames.
Once again, Merry Christmas! Ho-Ho-Ho!
